Baby Steps
by Wreckless Righter
Summary: Part IV. Kate and Sawyer must deal with the new pregnancy obstacles. ...Among other things. :: COMPLETE! Check out the fifth part, "For Better or Worse"! ::
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **_Baby Steps  
_**Characters: **Sawyer, Kate, Charlie, Claire, Jack, Ana, and several other assorted Losties and my own created characters – Ally, possibly Johanna.  
**Rated: **PG-13  
**Beta-Reader: **Sarah  
**Genre: **Drama, Romance, Humor?  
**Slight Warning: **Some sexual moments. If you aren't mature enough to handle it, don't read this story then.  
**Summary: **Kate and Sawyer must deal with the new pregnancy obstacles, among other things. Some very sweet moments to be shared as well.

Quickie:

Welcome one and all to the fourth, yes, FOURTH installment of Skate stories I have written and posted here on (among other sites). I am very sorry about the delay in posting this. It seems there was a problem with adding a new chapter/story.  
If you have been reading from "Drawn Together", to "Like a Boomerang", to "Once Upon a Second Chance" to here, then _spofulous_! I love you dearly and am glad you're sticking it through to read the fourth part.  
If you have not read any or all of the aforementioned stories, then please proceed to do so before continuing to read this one. Chances are, if you don't, you might get lost and wonder about some of the things in this story.

So without further adieu, I bid you all a fond reading experience and hope that you enjoy this story. I also hope you don't mind jumping right into it. But please, enjoy!

**Chapter 1 **

A week after the resolution of the biggest argument they'd ever share, Kate's first appointment with her doctor rolled around, sooner than she and Sawyer thought it would. Before they knew it, they were heading into the truck to drive into the town. Sawyer wouldn't wait in the truck this time, like he had before. If this was really going to happen, he'd said, he wasn't going to do it "half-assed". Kate was unusually quiet for the whole ride, staring down at her feet. They pulled into the parking lot, and he turned the truck off. They didn't move.

"You ready?" he asked.

He watched as she suddenly seemed to snap out of a trance. She looked over at him bewildered.

"What?"

"I asked if you were ready," he reiterated.

"Oh. Yeah," she said, reaching for the handle of the door.

"Hey," he grabbed her free hand. She looked up at him, nervously. "No worries, right?"

She smiled weakly. "Right."

They got out and rounded the truck, meeting at the front. Surprising Kate, Sawyer grabbed a hold of her hand as they walked into the office. That simple gesture had already comforted her some.

"Hi," said a nurse who sat behind the front desk. "What's your name?"

Kate swallowed. "Katherine Austen."

The nurse's expression changed for a moment, as she realized who Kate was, but then she was smiling again.

"First time visitor, I take it?"

"Yes," she said, even though she _had_ been there before. But she wasn't playing the part of "Lindsay Sheppard" this time. And the nurse hadn't seen her there before anyway, thankfully.

"Okay. Then you'll need to fill these out, and have a seat. Dr. Park will be with you shortly."

Sawyer stopped before they went to sit down. "This Dr. Park…he good?"

The nurse smiled uncertainly. "That's what I've heard…"

Sawyer stared at her a moment longer, then sat down next to Kate. She was filling out the forms, her head hanging down lower than it probably needed to.

"You all right there, Freckles?"

"Yeah," she said, quietly.

"You need any help with – "

"No."

"You sure?"

"_No_," she repeated, firmly.

Sawyer sat back, backing off, and grabbed a magazine. A few minutes later, Kate finished filling out the forms and got up to return them to the desk. She sat back down next to Sawyer, stiffly. He noticed it, and put the magazine down, suddenly concerned.

"What's wrong?" he murmured.

She shook her head in response. "I'm fine."

"You look about as stiff as a cardboard box," he joked. "What gives?"

She looked at him, and saw the concern in his eyes. She couldn't deny him. She opened her mouth to speak, but someone else spoke.

"Katherine Austen?" a woman in scrubs called from the door.

Kate stood, quickly, and Sawyer joined her.

"Right this way," the woman gestured.

They followed her into a hallway of different examination rooms. Kate glanced nervously at the contents of each room as they passed them. Huge machines were in one, beds in another, a sad looking couple in the next. She led them to an empty room with one chair and one table/bed. They followed the woman into the room.

"I'm just going to take your height and weight," she said, as she gestured for Kate to go over to the scale.

While Kate was getting measured, Sawyer took a seat on the single chair in the room. The nurse also took Kate's blood pressure, then let her sit down on the table. She left after that, promising Dr. Park would meet them in there momentarily. The door closed and they were in there alone, waiting. Kate folded her hands in her lap, gazing at the floor, frowning. Sawyer found a stethoscope on the counter beside him. He put it on and walked over to Kate.

"Who am I?" he teased.

She smiled. "Put that back."

Instead, he slid his hand under the back of her shirt, pressing the icy stethoscope on her back. She arched from the cold and forced his hand out from her shirt.

"Sawyer, stop."

"Fine," he said, reluctantly, putting the stethoscope back.

Now, he picked up the shoehorn reflex hammer and examined it.

"Lookit this," he said. "They gotta use this to test your reflexes, when there's billions of other ways to do it."

She smiled. "Okay, _Doctor_ Ford."

He grinned. "How 'bout I test _your_ reflexes?" he said cunningly.

"You're going to get us in trouble," she said, the smile starting to fade.

"Not if we don't get caught."

The doorknob turned and the door started to open. Just in time, Sawyer sat back down, putting the hammer back on the counter. An Asian woman walked in with a manila folder. Her dark black hair was tied back in a bun, and she wore a white lab coat.

"Katherine Austen," she turned to Kate with a smile. "I'm Dr. Marcy Park. I'll be your doctor throughout this whole process."

"Kate," Kate smiled weakly.

"Okay, _Kate_." She looked up.

"_Marcy_ Park, is it?" Sawyer asked.

"Yes…"

"Hm," he shook his head at himself. "Failed to mention that you're female."

"Right," she said uncertainly, then turned back to Kate. "You look familiar. Have I treated you before?"

"No," Kate said quickly, reddening.

"Hm. Okay. Well, first things first."

She handed Kate a small plastic cup. Her stomach churned as she was eerily reminded of memories from when Jack had given her the test on the ship. Kate stared at the cup in a trance, seeming to forget where she was and who she was with.

"I'll need to get a urine sample to make sure everything's definite." Dr. Park paused. "Kate?"

She snapped out of it again. "Sorry. What?"

"Urine sample. Bathroom's right across the way."

"Oh. Right," she said, taking the cup with a trembling hand. She looked back at Sawyer uncertainly.

He watched her leave, wanting desperately to know what was the matter, and wishing he could comfort her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Kate returned to the room with her sample and Dr. Park took it, leaving them alone once more. Kate sat again on the chair, and the room was silent. Sawyer watched her, unsure of what to make of her sullen mood. He wanted to make her feel better, but had no idea how.

"What're you thinkin'?" he asked, finally.

She looked at him, then down. "Nothing."

"Freckles, that's the biggest load of bull puckey I ever heard. You been sittin' here all morning lookin' down at that floor as if it were the saddest thing in the world." He paused and looked down. "Huh. Pink and blue tiles. That _is_ sad…"

She smiled, but it melted right back into a frown. They sat in silence again, both staring at the floor.

"Do you think it'll like me?" she said finally.

He looked up again, surprised. "What?"

"_The baby_, Sawyer," she said, focusing on the tiny blue and pink tiles again.

"Is it gonna like you?" he said in disbelief. "You're givin' it life! I'd think it'd have at least an inkling of liking for you, sweetheart."

"But what if it doesn't? What if it hates me?" she said softly, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Why're you thinkin' like that?"

She shook her head, and tears fell to the floor. "I'm not cut out to be a mother, Sawyer."

"Hey…" He got up and put an arm around her. "You're gonna be a great mother."

"I don't even know how to change a diaper," she half-laughed, half-sobbed.

"Neither do I, but we'll learn. You ain't gonna be in this alone, Freckles."

"I know. I'm just…scared."

He stared at her sympathetically, and pulled her to him in a hug. "Don't be. Hell! Think of it like an adventure of sorts."

"I'm so scared, though, Sawyer," she started sobbing against him. "I'm scared that I'm not going to know what to do with it and everything it comes with. What if I make this child hate me? What if it doesn't want me?"

He stayed silent, smoothing her hair.

"I don't know if I'm ready for this," she whispered.

"No one's ever ready for it," he assured her. He tilted her face up and wiped her tears. "But we're in this together, Freckles."

She nodded, her breathing slowly steadying.

"Whether you like it or not," he added teasingly.

She laughed and rested her head on his shoulder once again. "Sawyer…"

"Yeah, Freckles?"

"Thank you."

He smiled, thoughtfully, and kissed her head. "Y'know, you're awfully cute when you're vulnerable like this."

She laughed, and finally let go of him. "Thanks," she said sarcastically.

She got up and went to the sink, wetting a paper towel to wipe her face. Sawyer sat back down in his chair and picked up the magazine that lied beside him. _Good Parenting_, he read silently, scoffing aloud. They were silent, except for the flipping of pages. Kate watched him reading, and his expression changed constantly, from confused, to repulsed. She couldn't help but let out a laugh. He looked up, of course.

"What?"

"You should see your face," she smiled.

He looked down at the magazine again, then closed it and put it aside. He raised his eyebrows and sighed.

"Some of the pictures in there…Pretty gory stuff."

"It's called childbirth, Sawyer."

For a moment, she could've sworn he looked scared. But he played it off by getting up and going over to the window. With one hand, he opened it effortlessly, and with the other took out his pack of cigarettes.

"You can't smoke in here," Kate told him. "This is a doctor's office."

"Why do you think I'm by the window, shortcake?"

She shook her head at him. As if on cue, Dr. Park returned, and he immediately put the cigarettes away. He joined Kate, and grabbed her hand again. She held it firmly, and they waited for the doctor to speak.

"Congratulations," Dr. Park smiled.

Sawyer let go of Kate's hand and put his arm around her instead. She inhaled deeply, and slowly let it all out.

"Now, I want you two to understand that if for some reason you don't want to keep the child, there are services that will be provided for you."

Sawyer shook his head. "That ain't gonna be necessary, right Freckles?"

She looked at him for a moment, and nodded. "Right."

"Okay," Dr. Park smiled again. "I'm going to just give you a rundown of how the first trimester is going to be, and the restrictions. After that, you'll schedule another appointment to come back for your first sonograms."

"Okay," Kate nodded, taking hold of Sawyer's hand again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

After the doctor finished speaking with them and they made another appointment, they were back in the truck, driving. Kate was quiet again, staring out the window.

"Feelin' better?" Sawyer asked, glancing sideways at her.

She only nodded. Sawyer tapped the steering wheel in frustration. She had reverted back to being quiet, and seemed tenser than when they first got to the office. He didn't know what to do to make her feel better.

"Do you know, while we were waiting in there, I was hoping that the test would come back negative," she said softly.

He glanced back and forth between her and the road. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," she said, looking down. "I didn't want the responsibility."

"_Didn't_?" he repeated.

She smiled. "It's an adventure, right?"

He grinned. "Right."

They continued to drive on in silence. Kate noticed that she wasn't familiar with their current surroundings. Strange, she thought, because she knew the way back from the office to his house well.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"Takin' the long way," he said. "Ain't no rush to get home, right?"

"No."

They passed a park, and Sawyer came to a halt at the stop light. Kate looked out the window and watched the children running onto the structures. The light changed and Sawyer started to drive. She grabbed his arm.

"Wait!"

He slowed down his driving. "What?"

"Stop. Go back."

"What're you – "

"Go back!" she insisted.

He pressed on the break and made an illegal U-turn in the middle of the road. Luckily, there was no one around to spot it. He started to slowly drive back down the road.

"Stop here," she urged him.

He turned around again, stopped and turned the car off, as they sat on the side of the road. He leaned forward and looked out her window and saw the park. He looked at her bewildered.

"That's why you wanted to stop?"

She stared out the window, and let out a small laugh. "I guess it is kind of silly…"

He leaned back into his seat, realizing why she'd wanted to stop. He pulled the keys out of the ignition and opened his door. As he'd hoped, she turned her attention to him.

"Where are you going?"

"Let's go for a walk," he suggested.

She stared at him curiously, for a moment, then unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the truck. They walked on the grass a few feet away from where the children played on the slides, the swings, and the jungle gyms. They stood together, observing the scene. Kate watched the children playing happily, and the parents that sat on the benches to the side, chatting. She leaned close to Sawyer.

"Is that going to happen to us?" she whispered, eyeing the parents with a grimace.

He looked over, and shook his head. "Hell no."

She laughed. "It's funny, isn't it? Everything's going to change."

He looked her up and down. "Not everything," he said slyly.

She smiled. A blue and red soccer ball rolled their way, bumping right into Sawyer's foot. They both looked down at it and three children ran to them – one girl, two boys. They stared up at Sawyer, and he peered down at them, his eyebrows lowered.

"Sorry," one of the little boys said nervously.

Kate laughed, quietly. He grabbed the ball and he ran back to play with the other little boy. The girl, however, stood, her light blonde hair blowing in the wind. She stared up at Sawyer with bright, clear blue eyes. As Kate looked down at her, she was reminded of Claire.

"Are you a giant?" she asked in a high-pitched voice.

He looked at Kate sardonically, and she tried to repress her grin.

"No," he said, annoyed. "I'm not."

"Then why are you so big?"

"Why are you so small?" he retorted.

"Sawyer…" Kate warned.

"I'm just a little kid," the girl said innocently. "I'm a'posed to be little."

"Well I'm a man, and I'm supposed to be big."

She stared at him for a moment, her head cocked to the side.

"You have girl hair," she finally concluded. "You should get a hair cut."

"Listen, kid. Maybe you better go back to your mom, all right?" Sawyer said, growing increasingly irritated.

The girl turned and looked over at her mom, then turned back to them.

"She's talking."

"Well I don't think she'd want _you_ talkin' to strangers."

"Will you play with me then?"

"No," he said, gruffly.

She looked at Kate. "Will you?"

"I…don't think that's such a good idea," Kate said, regrettably.

"Why not?" she pouted.

"Tara!" a woman with similarly blonde hair called, angrily. "Get over here!"

The girl gasped and ran away from them, much to Sawyer's relief.

"You're mean," Kate laughed, shaking her head at him.

"She wouldn't shut up," he reasoned.

"She's a _kid_." She folded her arms with a teasing grin. "Is this how it's going to be when our kid is born?"

He sighed, and looked around. Something caught his eye, and he grabbed Kate's hand.

"Come on," he said, without looking at her.

"What?" she said, being pulled along by him.

They walked together, hand in hand. She looked around, and finally spotted what he saw. It was an ice-cream truck – the old fashioned kind with the pictures all over it. She smiled, slightly, and looked up at him, confused. But he didn't look at her. They made their way to the truck, until Sawyer stopped, digging his wallet out from his back pocket.

"You wanna Screw Ball?" he dimpled as he teased her.

She laughed, rolling her eyes, and looked around at all the colorful pictures, trying to decide which one she wanted. She pointed at the one she wanted, letting her finger press against the strawberry shortcake bar picture, and looked up at him innocently, feeling like a little kid again.

"Lemme get a Strawberry Shortcake and a Chocolate Éclair," Sawyer told the man.

Sawyer paid the man and handed Kate her ice-cream. She smiled shyly.

"Thank you."

They walked slowly across the grass in the direction of the truck. They each opened their snacks and began to indulge. Sawyer put his arm around her shoulders as they strolled…


	4. Chapter 4

Quickie:

Hmm.Where did everyone go? I only see 4 loyal reviewers here. Guess I know now who the real ones are. -sniffles-  
Ahm just kidding. :o) Enjoy!

**Chapter 4**

Eventually, Sawyer and Kate made it back to the truck and drove back home. Kate grabbed the mail from the mailbox on her way in and thumbed through it, knowing it was all Sawyer's anyway. But then she saw a small thick envelope with a gold rim, written out to both _James "Sawyer" Ford & Kate Austen_. She picked it out of the bunch in her hand and placed the rest on the mantle. She sat on the couch, staring at it cautiously. Sawyer glanced over her shoulder.

"Whatcha got there, Freckles?"

"I'm not sure. It's addressed to both of us. And…it's gold," she said with a hint of disgust.

"You gonna stare at it or you gonna open it and find out what it is?"

She knew he was right. She turned the envelope over and carefully slid her finger through the triangular flap. Her heart pounded with anticipation and fear. She pulled out a card, let out a breath of relief, and smiled. It was a wedding invitation. She and Sawyer exchanged glances and read.

"The hobbit's gettin' hitched?" he said in surprise.

"You're cordially invited to the wedding and reception of Miss Claire Littleton and Mr. Charlie Pace," she read aloud. She shook her head, confused. "It's for next month."

"Claire?" Sawyer asked, unfamiliar with the name.

"The one with the baby," Kate said as she continued to read.

He sat next to her. "Ooh. So it's the cute little Aussie gal, huh?" he dimpled.

"Cute little Aussie girl?" Kate looked at him accusingly, grinning.

He shrugged. "For a pregnant girl, I mean," he said, trying to save himself.

"Uh-huh…" Kate said, grinning at his expression. "Says we're supposed to RSVP within two weeks."

"We ain't _goin'_…" he said, with a feeling of dread creeping up on him.

"Why not?" she frowned.

"Cause it's a damn wedding! I ain't goin'. What for?"

"Because they're our friends."

"No. They're _your_ friends."

"Sawyer, everyone loves you now, since you helped get us rescued on the raft."

"Not everyone. Doc's still got it out for me," he pointed out.

"They're your friends too, now, whether you like it or not," she said, rolling her eyes and ignoring the comment.

"I don't," he said.

"Why? Is there some reason you need to have everyone hate you?"

"Just 'cause I ain't on the outs with everyone anymore, doesn't mean I wanna be all chummy with them."

"You could at least try. I'm sure they'll all want to see you," she said, as she distractedly read a note that fell out from the card.

"Yeah right," he said, leaning back folding his arms behind his head.

"Come on, Sawyer. Look," she said, showing him the note. "Claire wants me to be her maid of honor. I can't say no."

"Then _you_ go," he said, taking the note from her.

She sat back, quieted.

"Maid of honor..." he scoffed, reading.

Kate sat up again, getting an idea. She grinned and glanced sideways at him.

"What if Jack's there alone too?" she teased, knowingly. "I might be tempted to dance with him."

She saw him grow suddenly uncomfortable and knew she'd hit a spot with the mentioning of _Jack_. It _always_ set him off.

"And no one will be there to stop me," she egged on.

He shook his head, knowing exactly what she was trying to do. And he wasn't going to let her get away with it. She wouldn't break him.

"Go ahead and dance with him!" He leaned toward her and spoke softly, "Dance your heart out. I could care less."

He leaned back and she watched him closely. Then she got another idea that would guarantee his change of heart.

"Well, you know, the wedding is all the way in LA. And I can't fly there and back in one day. I would have to stay there at least one night…"

He gritted his teeth. And of course Jack _lived_ in LA, he remembered. She still knew exactly which buttons to push. He sighed.

"Fine, all right? We'll go!" he said, irritatingly.

She grinned, satisfactorily and leaned back into the couch.

"Fine."

He sighed. "You get a kick outta this, don't you?"

She only smiled. Suddenly she had a thought and couldn't stifle her laughter.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing," she grinned.

"Don't lie," he smirked, tickling her.

She laughed harder and pushed him away. "Okay." She paused to take a breath.

He stared at her, impatiently.

"I was just picturing you in a tux," she grinned.

He rolled his eyes, looking away, and gritted his teeth. "You expect me to wear a tux?"

"Well what else _would_ you wear? Your jeans and a ratty old t-shirt?"

"I happen to_ like_ my ratty old t-shirts, thank you."

"So I've noticed," she said, tugging at his grey t-shirt.

"Yeah, yeah," he said, brushing her hand off him. "Can't I just wear a suit?"

"Fine. And I'll just wear a shirt and pants," she said sardonically.

He licked his lips, and grinned. "Baby, you don't have to wear anything at all."

"All right," she sighed, getting up to leave him.

"Where you goin'?" he pulled her back down on the couch.

He dipped her for a long, loving kiss, making her forget all about the argument…


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Shortly after Sawyer averted Kate from the tuxedo subject, she decided to call Claire to RSVP to the wedding invitation. She left Sawyer in the living room and went into the kitchen and dialed.

"Hello?" Claire answered.

"Claire, hi! It's Kate!"

"Oh, Kate, hi! How are you?"

"I'm great. How are you?"

"Good. Good. Just sitting here with Aaron and his Cheerios."

Kate smiled to herself. "How is he? Must be getting big by now, I bet."

"Yeah. He's great. Talking and _trying_ to walk already."

"How's Charlie doing?"

"Oh he's good. And what about Sawyer? How's _he_ doing?"

"Well, Sawyer's…_Sawyer_. He's as good as always."

Claire laughed. "That's so strange. And unexpected, you know? You and Sawyer? No one would've thought."

Kate's smile faltered. That hurt – just a little bit. But she shrugged it off.

"Yeah," she replied. "Well…what can I say?"

"I know. I mean, who would've thought me and Charlie right?" Claire joked.

"Yeah. That's amazing," Kate said, thankful the topic of conversation was off her and Sawyer. "Congratulations."

"Thanks. So, you're coming to the wedding, aren't you?"

"Of course."

"Sawyer too?" Claire asked cautiously.

Kate laughed. "Well it took a little convincing, but he's coming too."

"Great! I can check you guys off the list. We'll all be so happy to see you. A-and Sawyer too."

Kate smiled again. Leave it to Claire to be the nicest woman in the world. She could always ease everyone's tension.

"So," Claire started. "I have a question for you."

"Okay."

"How would you feel about coming here a week before the wedding?"

"What for?"

"Well, turns out the tailor I hired that's making the dresses does adjustments in a week's time. I mean, I guessed your sizes, but just in case, you know?"

"Right…" Kate said.

She bit her lip. Sawyer would _never _have it. How would she convince him to agree to THAT?

"We have an extra room here," Claire offered, which reminded Kate she'd stopped talking.

"Um, I'll have to talk to Sawyer about that one. I'm not too sure he'd be too thrilled with the idea."

"Oh," Claire said, disheartened.

"But I'll try!" Kate tried to reassure her.

"Okay. Well, Aaron is starting to get fussy over here. I'd better go."

Kate laughed. "All right. I'll call you back when Sawyer and I have talked."

"Okay, great. I'm so glad you're coming."

"Me too. Say hi to Charlie for me."

"I will. Bye Kate!"

"Bye."

Kate hung up the phone and sighed. Sawyer was NOT going to like the idea of spending a week in LA with Charlie and Claire. _And_ Aaron. Especially Aaron. She would have to find some way to convince him.

She walked out into the living room. Sawyer was nowhere to be seen. She went upstairs to look for him, and saw the attic steps pulled down in the hallway. She looked up, curiously. Why was he up there? She stepped onto the first step, and paused, hesitant. Finally she just decided to go up. When she reached the top, she looked around from the doorway and saw movement by the gun cabinet.

"Sawyer?" she called, staying in the doorway.

Sawyer heard her and stiffened. His heart pounded. What the hell was she doing up here!? He was about to shoo her away, but shook his head instead. How was he going to let Ana-Lucia up there and not Kate? He had no choice.

"Over here, Freckles," he called.

She leaned against the doorway folding her arms. "What're you doing?"

"Puttin' Ana's gun away. Don't think she'll be needing it any time soon."

_Ana's_ gun? Kate thought, her stomach twisting.

"You can come in you know."

She smiled. "Since when?"

"Since now."

She walked slowly around the corner and found him. "That's a change."

"Yeah, well…"

She looked around the room. "What is it about this attic that makes you shut everyone out of it?"

He felt a pang of guilt, and tried to force it away. _Not everyone_, he thought grimly.

"Just…stuff." He mentally kicked himself. Why was he so hesitant to tell her? He'd told – even shown – Ana. He added, "My parent's stuff."

"Oh," Kate said softly.

"It doesn't matter anymore."

"Why?" she looked up at him, her eyebrows knit.

"'Cause now you're up here."

She smiled, and looked around the room again. "Okay," she said, uncertainly.

He looked away, hiding his guilt-stricken face and kicked himself for not being able to think of a good enough reason. He knew all too well that she didn't entirely believe it. But she seemed to be content with the answer, so far. He decided he wouldn't tell her about Ana. That was over now. And she didn't ever need to know about that.

"So, what do you say we go out to lunch?" she said, glancing to her side at a box of toy trucks.

"You buyin'?" he raised his eyebrows, teasingly.

He watched her face turn pink, and she stared up at him embarrassed. He dimpled.

"I'm only kidding."

She smiled. "I know. So…I was thinking, pizza?"

She picked one of the trucks up from the box, toying with the wheels. Consequently, it was the same truck that Ana had taken from the box. Sawyer stared at it, and knew, at that moment, they had to go back downstairs. Now. He cleared his throat.

"Well uh, if it's Italian you got your heart set on, there's a place in town that delivers."

He started walking toward the doorway. Kate put the truck back and started to follow him, then spotted something on the ground. She stopped and looked down at a maroon, circular object on the floor. More specifically, it was the one part of the floor that wasn't covered in dust. Strange, Kate thought. Why was that one part of the floor clean? As she peered down at the maroon object, her eyebrows lowered and she realized what it was – a hair tie.

"You comin', Freckles?" Sawyer called from the door.

She blinked a few times, then finally responded, "Yeah."

She tucked the hair tie into her pocket and followed him downstairs…


	6. Chapter 6

Quickie:

**xox-emily-xox** - Oh you sly devil you:) Yes, you're right. I've kind of crossed the two over for that point, so you may see some of what's in that one here. Except in the Skate POV of course.

Still wondering where some of the other readers from _Second Chance _went.  
(And** bonboni** the rating's T now so it should be easy to find again.)

Nevertheless...enjoy!

**Chapter 6**

After about thirty minutes, the pizza arrived, and Sawyer and Kate sat together on the couch to indulge. Mackenzie hopped up on the arm of the couch, and Kate stroked him, giving him tiny pieces of cheese occasionally. She glanced over at Sawyer as he started on his second slice, and decided to go in for the kill.

"So I called Claire to tell her we were coming," she started, looking down at Mackenzie as she pet him.

He glanced at her, warily. "Okay…"

"She brought up an idea that I think we should really consider," she finally glanced his way.

He nodded, and sat up straighter, his focus now stuck on the television and the baseball game it was showing. She looked at the TV and back at him, knowing this was a vulnerable moment.

"She said we should go up to LA a week early. Just in case."

"Uh-huh."

"I told her I would talk to you about it. See if it was okay with you. She has an extra room for us to stay in. So we wouldn't have to worry about hotels or anything."

"Sure. Fine, Freckles."

She watched him for a minute, wearing a tiny grin. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, yeah. It's fine," he said, leaning more intently toward the television.

"Okay," she folded her arms. "Then I'll go call Claire and tell her you said it's fine."

He only nodded in response. She got up and went into the kitchen to make the call. Mackenzie now resided next to Sawyer, who glared down at him. A few minutes later, a commercial interrupted the game, giving Sawyer time to refill his glass. He muted the TV, threw the crust he was picking at on his plate and joined Kate in the kitchen. Mackenzie followed. Kate was already on the phone.

"Okay, we'll see you then. Bye," Kate finished, turning the phone off.

"What's goin' on?" he asked, opening the fridge.

"I just called Claire and made the arrangements," she said, simply.

He looked at her, slowly filling with dread. "What _arrangements_?"

She folded her arms. "You didn't hear a word I said to you before, did you?"

"_Yes_, I did," he lied, closing the fridge again.

"Then what did I say?"

He looked at her, his face blank.

She set the phone down and folded her arms. "I knew you weren't listening."

"I was watchin' the game!" he reasoned, gesturing to the TV.

"Yeah. Really shows where I stand, huh?"

He sighed, exasperatedly. "What did you want to tell me, Freckles?"

"Claire invited us to stay with her and Charlie for a week before the wedding. And – "

"And you said, no, right?"

She peered at him. "I didn't say _no_. I told her I would talk to you first, and then - "

"Well now you talked to me and I say no," he cut in, turning to leave the kitchen.

"Why not?" she stopped him.

"Because I ain't spendin' a week with Tiny Tim and his _fiancé_," he said, drawing out each syllable of the word. "I'd rather be back on the island being tortured by Mohammad."

"Well, what if I said you _had_ to go?"

"I'd say you're out of luck, sweetheart," he went back into the living room.

She followed him in. "Come on, Sawyer. What's wrong with going to LA for a week?"

"I'm _not_ goin'."

"If it's a matter of money, they have an extra room, and – "

"Money ain't an issue. The fact of the matter is that I don't want to spend more time with those people than I have to."

"Oh that's real nice, Sawyer. You're only going to their wedding, of all things."

"Yeah. Do I look happy about that?"

"Is it really going to kill you to act like a civilized person for once in your life? These 'people' are your _friends_."

He sighed, growing increasingly frustrated. He shoved Mackenzie off the couch and sat down again. Mackenzie ran and hid behind Kate.

"Look, I already told her we were coming. And please stop being mean to Mackenzie."

"He's a _cat_. And why in the hell would you do that without – " he started, then stopped himself. She tricked him. He looked at her, and she smirked. "Now that just ain't fair."

"Maybe if you were listening instead of watching that game…And just because he's a cat doesn't mean you can treat him badly."

"Yeah, whatever. You can call back Missy Claire and tell her that you'll see her _without_ me," he said, turning the volume on the TV back up.

Kate exhaled sharply. She went to the TV set and turned it off, standing in front of it.

"Hey! It's 'bout to be over! Bottom of the 9th!"

"I don't care."

"You really know how to push my buttons, don't ya, Freckles?"

She raised her eyebrows. "Would you please just stop being stubborn and come?"

He tossed his hands up and sighed. "_Fine_."

She didn't say anything, but turned the TV back on and went back into the kitchen. Mackenzie looked up at him from the floor, and let out a tiny meow.

"_What_?"

He heard Kate pick up the phone again and turn it on. He got up immediately and quietly walked into the kitchen again.

"Hi Claire," Kate said. Then after a pause, she said, "Yeah, I did talk to him. And I wanted to let you know that we'll be coming down that week early."

"You didn't call her!" Sawyer interrupted, stunned.

She turned around, startled. She spoke into the phone, "No, I uh – "

He walked over to her and took the phone from her hands.

"Hey! Sawyer!" she said, trying to reach for the phone again.

"Claire, Kate'll have to call you back," he said, and hung it up. He looked at her again. "I gotta hand it to ya, Freckles. That was some good actin'."

"I live with a con, remember?" she grinned.

"Oh now you're gonna blame _me_?"

She started to walk out of the kitchen to escape, but he grabbed her arm and turned her back around, pulling her up against him. His eyes narrowed as he smiled and shook his head.

"You ain't gettin' away with it _that_ easy…"


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Time passed almost as quickly as the speed of light. Or…so it seemed to, because before either of them knew it, it was the morning of their flight to LA. Sawyer was in his room doing some last minute packing, while Kate was showering. Out of nowhere, Sawyer burst into the bathroom, startling Kate.

"I can't get a minute of privacy with you, can I?" she called from the shower.

He turned and eyed her through the blurry doors. "You say that as if you mind, Freckles."

He heard her laugh, and smirked. After a few minutes, she listened to him rummaging through the bathroom, wondering what all the noise was.

"You lose something?"

"Can't find my dang toothbrush."

"So just buy a new one at the airport. I'm sure they sell them."

It quieted as he continued looking, and Kate continued showering.

"Hey listen. I was thinking about Mackenzie…" she shouted over the water.

"Yeah. What about him?"

"Well, I mean, we can't just leave him for the week by himself."

"Why not?" he asked, annoyed. "He'll be fine."

She opened the shower door, slightly, peeking only her head out. "He can't feed himself and clean his own litter box, you know."

"So, what then? You wanna take him with us?"

"Of course not. But, don't you know anyone who could watch over him?"

"Baby, no one _I_ know is gonna wanna watch a CAT."

Kate paused. "What about Cassie?"

"Are you serious?"

"I just don't want to leave him here alone."

He sighed. "Fine, I'll call her. Once I find my toothbrush," he muttered.

She smiled, shaking her head, then closed the door again.

"I'm telling you. Just buy a new one."

"Like it's that easy…"

She laughed. "Actually, it is."

"You sure it ain't in there?" he asked, swiftly opening the door.

"Sawyer!" she shouted, closing the door again, feeling exposed.

"Oh who're you kidding, sweet cheeks?" he said, opening the door again.

He glanced around the shower then fixated his gaze on her body, slowly working his way up to her eyes.

"Unbelievable," she laughed.

He took hold of her wrist and pulled her toward him, then kissed her wet lips lovingly. She tried to pull away but he leaned into the shower, not wanting to let her go. The water was beginning to soak his hair and shoulders. She finally pulled away.

"All right, that's enough," she laughed, starting to slide the door closed.

"Ain't no such thing," he grinned.

"Go on, get out," she said, still laughing, sliding the door all the way closed.

"We gotta leave in an hour, Freckles," he reminded her.

"I know."

He left the bathroom to return to packing. As he entered his room, he noticed Kate's jeans lying on the floor. He sighed and picked them up, but something fell out from them. He picked up a red hair tie from the floor, wondering why she'd had it in her jeans. There were a few black hairs tangled around it. Kate didn't have black…he stopped in mid-thought. Where did she find Ana's hair tie? And why did she have it? He heard the water in the bathroom turn off and looked around quickly for somewhere to tuck away the hair tie. Short of time, he quickly hid it in his own jeans. She came into the room with only a towel covering her body.

"You might wanna change your shirt," she told him.

"Yeah? You wanna help me get it off?" he grinned slyly.

She stared at him with a wry smile. "You're a big boy, Sawyer," she said, brushing past him to get to the closet. "I think you can handle it."

He grabbed her arm, pulling her back. "I don't think I can."

"Let go," she laughed.

"I don't think so," he said, lifting her into his arms.

"Hey!" she protested, laughing as he started to carry her to the bed. "Sawyer, no! We don't have time for this!"

"We got plenty of time," he said, setting her down so he could kiss her.

* * *

Almost two hours later Sawyer and Kate were rushing into the airport, after leaving his truck in the parking garage.

"I told you we didn't have time," she told him over her shoulder.

"Well pardon me, sassafras," he said. "Personally, _I _thought it was worth it."

She shook her head smiling.

"Guess you ain't gonna deny that, then?" he grinned.

She laughed. "Shut up."

"That ain't a denial," he pointed out.

She ignored him and checked her watch. "We have five minutes to get through the security line and to our gate."

"I heard you the first ten times," he replied.

"Sorry, I just don't want to miss the flight," she said.

"'Scuse me," Sawyer said, trying to get through the massive crowds of people.

He almost bumped into Kate as she stopped short. He saw the distressed look on her face, then looked ahead to see why. The security line was going to take forever with the amount of people lined up.

"We're going to have to wait for the next flight."

They both looked up at the board next to them. The next flight was in two hours. Sawyer shook his head.

"Like hell we're waitin' for the next one." He grabbed her hand. "Come on."

"What? Where are we – "

"Hey buddy!" Sawyer called to one of the security guards.

"Sir, you're going to have to wait at the end of the line like everyone else."

"See, that ain't exactly gonna work, boss. Me and my girl here gotta be on our plane in three minutes."

"Two," Kate said, from behind him.

"_Two_," he corrected himself.

"I'm sorry sir, but you're going to have to wait for the next one. If you had gotten here early enough - "

"No. We're not gonna wait. 'Cause you're gonna let us through the security line so we can make our flight."

"I can't let you through unless there's an emergency. Back of the line."

Sawyer turned around and Kate looked at him disheartened. He shook his head, not accepting that answer, and turned around again, facing the security guard. He tapped him on the shoulder, and once the man turned around, Sawyer sent his fist forcefully into the man's face. The other one came at him but Sawyer was quicker and punched him too.

"Sawyer!" she cried in disbelief. "Are you crazy!?"

He grabbed her hand. "Come on!" he said, starting to run.

They ran through the security and down towards their gate.

"You could've gotten yourself arrested!" she shouted as they ran.

"Why do you think we're runnin'?"

She glanced at the clock as they passed it, forgetting their current situation.

"We have a minute to get to the gate!"

"We'll get there!"

They slowed as they made it to the gate just as the door was about to shut.

"Wait!" they both called in unison.

"Can I help you?" a woman behind the desk asked.

"We're on the flight to Los Angeles," Kate told her, breathlessly.

"All right. Let me scan the tickets and you can go right in. They're already boarding."

Kate and Sawyer both sighed in relief, and stood catching their breath. Kate watched warily to see if anyone was coming after them. Just as the woman started to scan Sawyer's ticket, she saw the two guards running their way. Her heart pounded and eyes widened. She patted Sawyer's arm.

"We gotta go," she said, breathlessly.

Sawyer tapped the counter impatiently. "Almost done?"

"One more second…" the woman told him. "And there. Enjoy your - "

He tore the ticket from her hands and they ran into the hallway. The door closed behind them and locked. Kate finally slowed down, and started laughing.

"What'd I tell ya?" Sawyer grinned, catching up to her.

She laughed, and pulled him to her in a long, forceful kiss. When she finally pulled away, he looked at her, bemused.

"What was that for?"

She smiled. "You are amazing."

He laughed, and took her hand, lacing his fingers with hers. "Think they'll remember us when we get back?"

"Come on," she laughed. "We're going to miss our flight."


	8. Chapter 8

Quickie: 

**LostSista** - Yeah...I realize that in reality, they would never have made it onto the plane. But, that's the beauty of fiction, isn't it?

Well, I'm happy that everyone's getting back on track with the story. And I'm happy that everyone is liking it. So here's some more.

**Chapter 8**

Kate and Sawyer sat in their seats, both dreading and anticipating take off. It had only been a little more than a year since they'd been in the Oceanic Flight 815 crash. Neither of them was happy about flying again. Kate stared out the window, trying to stay calm.

"Think of it this way, Freckles. We're eight hours away from landing."

She smiled weakly. "That doesn't help."

"Yeah, well, I ain't exactly _thrilled_ to be here."

"At least we're not alone."

He smiled and nodded. "Yeah. Good thing."

The loudspeaker beeped, signaling for the passengers to listen:

"Ladies and Gentlemen, at this time, the Pilot requests that you fasten your seatbelts as we are about to take off. Please make sure to turn off any electronic devices you may be using. The use of cell phones during the flight is prohibited. Thank you."

"This is it," he said, dramatically. He held her hand over the armrest.

"Shut up," she laughed, not letting his hand go, however.

The plane began to move slowly, gradually picking up speed. The engines roared as it started to lift off the runway. As it began to ascend, Kate squeezed Sawyer's hand tighter. In a few minutes, they were completely in the air. The loudspeaker beeped again:

"We have now successfully taken off. Please remain in your seats until the pilot turns off the 'fasten seatbelts' sign. Thank you, and have a great flight!"

Sawyer looked at Kate. "Worst part's over."

She nodded, still unwilling to release his hand.

* * *

Nearly eight hours later, a beep from the loudspeaker woke Kate up from a deep sleep. She didn't remember when she fell asleep, or anything that had happened after take off. But she was glad they had made it this far through the flight. She lifted her head from Sawyer's shoulder, and looked around her. The light from the window temporarily blinded her.

"Morning, sunshine," Sawyer said playfully.

"How long was I asleep?" she asked groggily.

"Damn near the whole flight."

She smiled. "I don't even remember falling asleep."

"Well you kinda said somethin' about Doc and how he ain't got nothin' on me. Then you just sorta leaned your head on my shoulder and passed out," he grinned.

"Oh really," she smiled, sleepily.

She rubbed her head. It was easy to guess what it was that had made her so tired. She would have to remember to get used to that.

"Are we close?"

Sawyer was about to answer but the loudspeaker beeped again before he could:

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the Pilot will be landing the plane shortly. He asks that you please get to your seats and fasten your seat belts until we have landed safely."

"How did I sleep through the turbulence?" she looked up at Sawyer curiously.

"Hell if I know. But you almost cut off the circulation in my hand when we hit it," he said, glancing down at the armrest.

She looked down and noticed their hands were still laced together. She let go of his hand finally, and they both rubbed their hands.

"Sorry," she smiled sheepishly.

"Don't worry about it, Freckles."

The plane suddenly started to descend, and they felt themselves being pushed forward, slightly. Kate gripped the armrest this time, and forced herself back into her chair, squeezing her eyes shut. There was a small thump as the plane's wheels hit the ground that caused her to jump, and then, it glided rapidly down the runway. It was over.

Sawyer glanced over at Kate and saw all of the color had drained from her face. He immediately filled with concern.

"Hey…you all right, Freckles?"

She nodded slowly.

"It's over now," he said softly.

She shook her head. "No."

"No?"

She swallowed. "I'm gonna need a bathroom."

"All right. Soon as we get off this plane – "

"No," she said, unfastening her seat belt. "I need to go _now_."

"You can't – "

But she ignored him. She got up and made her way past him and the other passengers to the aisle, then sped to the nearest bathroom.

"Freckles!" Sawyer called, getting up and going after her.

He stood outside the door, distressed.

"You're not s'posed to get up while we're landing, Freckles." She didn't respond and he immediately filled with concern. "You okay in there?"

The only response he got was the sound of her getting sick. As luck would have it, a flight attendant headed his way. She was Hispanic, and her green eyes stood out against her tanned skin and black hair. He rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Sir, you're not supposed to be up right now. The pilot has not turned off the 'fasten seatbelts' sign."

He looked at her sardonically. "Then why're you up, senorita?"

She stared at him, at a loss for words.

"When we're done, we'll make sure to get back to our seats," he glared.

The stewardess stood defeated and headed back to the front of the plane.

"Excuse me," said a man sitting in front of where Sawyer stood. "Do I know you?"

Sawyer peered down at him, with a glare. "I don't think so."

"I've seen you before," the man continued. Then his eyes widened. "You were on TV. On the news! You're one of the survivors of that plane that went down! Oceanic Flight 815!"

Sawyer's glared hardened.

"How did you manage it? Was it tough to survive out there?"

"Look, I ain't got the time for this."

"Can I get a picture for my daughter?" another woman chimed in.

"You're famous!" said another man.

Soon, several people in the section of the plane were questioning Sawyer and ogling him. He only grew angrier with every second. Then the door to the bathroom suddenly opened and Kate stepped out, looking somewhat better, with a bit of color back in her face. The passengers all quieted as they stared at her.

"I know her too…" the first man said, quietly.

"That's the fugitive," someone whispered loudly.

"Why isn't she in jail?" whispered another.

"I heard she killed a man on the island…" someone said.

"She's dangerous!" said an elderly woman.

"Why don't ya'll keep your comments to yourself?" Sawyer snapped.

The passengers all looked at him, taken aback, and quieted, murmuring amongst themselves. He glared at them all, resting his hand on the small of Kate's back.

As she walked down the isle to her seat, she glanced around her at all the accusing faces and the whispering seemed to get louder. She got back to her seat and sat down, slumped lower than before. She felt Sawyer sit back down next to her as she lowered her head and closed her eyes.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the pilot has turned off the fasten seatbelts sign. In a few short moments a stewardess will advise you to your exits. Thank you for flying our airway, and have a nice day!"


	9. Chapter 9

Quickie:

**HannySkateShipper **- I'm _always _writing more!  
**SassyLostie** - I guess I haven't really expanded on the attention he'd get. But I wish I had. It would have been fun. It's a little late to do it now. Oh well..  
**xox-emily-xox** - Quite frankly, I'm wondering why she's so level headed with him around. Haha!

Well, while I've been consistant in updating every other day, I'm feeling generous today so you get a freebie. Enjoy! (I need a new word...)

**Chapter 9 **

As the plane unloaded and the passengers filed through the airport, Kate and Sawyer got more stares and people whispering passed them by. They all looked like they wanted to say something to them, but were probably intimidated by Sawyer's icy glares. Or…so Kate assumed.

"Bastards," Sawyer muttered, glaring at all of them.

Kate glanced around at several people, but each person immediately looked away. She looked down at the floor, feeling an overwhelming amount of resentment from them. Sawyer put a protective arm around her.

"Don't worry about them, Freckles. You don't know them, they don't know you."

She smiled weakly at the floor. "Thanks."

They made their way to the baggage claim area and waited by the conveyor belt for their bags. Kate looked around and saw a flash of blonde in the distance. As she looked harder, she knew who it was, and her spirits were finally lifted.

"There's Claire!" she told Sawyer, eagerly.

Before he could respond, she was already gone. He sighed. _Thanks for leaving me with the luggage, Freckles_, he thought to himself.

"Claire!" Kate called as she got closer.

"Kate!" she walked toward her, her arms open for a hug. "How are you?"

"Great," she said, as she hugged Claire. "How are _you_?"

"I'm great, now."

"Where's Charlie?"

"Oh he's outside with Aaron in the car. Is Sawyer…"

"Oh. He's getting our stuff," she said, biting her lip. He couldn't be happy about that.

Claire glanced past her and saw him. "Oh here he comes," she waved.

Kate turned around and had to force back a laugh. The expression on his face was beyond priceless. She hurried to him to help with the bags.

"Sorry," she murmured.

"No you ain't," he replied quietly, which made her grin.

"Hello Sawyer," Claire said, shyly.

"Hey yourself, mamacita."

Surprising both women, he put the bags down and gave Claire a hug. Kate laughed when she saw Claire's reddened face as she broke away from Sawyer's embrace. She looked up at Sawyer who only raised his eyebrows.

"Okay, well, Charlie's just outside with the car. So…should we go?"

"Sure," Kate answered.

"Lead on," Sawyer nodded ahead.

They followed Claire outside where Charlie greeted them both with hugs.

"You two sods need to make more of an appearance now and then," he told them.

Kate smiled. "We'll try. How've you been?"

"Never better. Oh! Hey! Do you want to see Aaron?"

"Sure."

"Right, then. He's right back here. Come on out, bugger," he said lifting Aaron from his car seat.

"I thought he was asleep," Claire protested.

"He woke up the minute you left."

Kate smiled at the toddler. "Hi Aaron," she said softly.

"Hi," he replied.

She laughed, and Sawyer almost swore he saw her eyes double in size. He watched her as she took his hand and played with him. His gaze stayed fixed on her. She was _really_ happy. Their future flashed before his eyes. He saw the two of them playing with their child, happily. The vision immediately faded and he suddenly couldn't help but feel something inside – something he couldn't explain – that made him start to feel very insecure. He had to look away from them. Kate looked over at him, smiling, but it faded quickly. She turned back to Charlie and Claire.

"Maybe we should get going," she suggested.

"Sure," Claire answered.

They put their luggage into the car and the drive to their apartment began. Aaron sat in his car seat between Kate and Sawyer – something Sawyer wasn't very happy about. Every time she looked at him, he was staring out the window. Instead of letting it bother her, she made faces at Aaron, enjoying the giggling she would get out of him.

Charlie and Claire were in a world of their own, she'd noticed once Aaron had fallen asleep. They were talking softly amongst themselves and she caught Claire smiling and laughing several times. It was then that she saw just how in love they were. She snuck a glance at Sawyer again, but he was still looking out the window.

Suddenly she found herself questioning her relationship with Sawyer. Could it really compare to Charlie and Claire's? They looked so happy, while she and Sawyer…well, they'd had their fair share of bumps in the road. But…they were happy too, right? Realizing the idiocy of what she was thinking, she forced the thoughts away, knowing that their relationship was better now than it ever was before. Or at least, it was on its way. She stared out her own window, anticipating their arrival to Charlie and Claire's apartment.

Luckily, they pulled into the parking lot of their apartment within a few minutes. They followed Charlie into the building and piled into the elevator. Kate felt a wave of dizziness come over her as the elevator went upward. She knew she would be in need of their bathroom sometime soon.

"Home sweet home," Charlie said as he helped them into the apartment.

Kate and Sawyer looked around in awe.

"Your little band got you all this...?" Sawyer said, astounded.

"Little? We had immense crowds at _all_ of our concerts! People loved us!"

"How many concerts you say you played at?" Sawyer said with a smirk.

Charlie ignored him. "Not to mention we went platinum just after the plane crashed. Crazy sales!" he grinned at Kate. "I told you."

Kate smiled. "It's amazing."

"Here. I'll show you to your room. Take Aaron, Charlie," Claire said.

They followed her to what seemed like a whole different _wing _of the apartment, to a large bedroom with crème walls. The bedspread was beige with a simple floral print. Brown wooden blinds covered part of a wall.

"You two can just make yourselves at home and get settled in. There's also a bathroom in this room, right over there," Claire pointed.

Kate glanced in that direction, knowing she'd soon be making use of it. Claire also showed them a small deck just off their room, which turned out to be what the blinds were hiding. Sawyer dubbed it his smoking deck, since Claire wouldn't allow him to smoke inside.

"You two just get settled. Take as long as you need. We'll be somewhere around here whenever you're ready," she told them.

"Thanks," Kate smiled at her.

"I'm so glad you're here," she said, just before closing the door.

Kate sighed and looked around until her gaze fell on Sawyer. "So…it's not so bad, right?"

"If you're happy, I'm happy, Freckles."

She smiled, but knew that, inside, he _wasn't_ happy. Something had started to bother him. And if she didn't figure it out soon, it was going to be a long week…


	10. Chapter 10

Quickie:

**HannySkateShipper** - I'm glad you think so. I always get a little uncertain when it comes to that. Mostly on Kate's part though.  
**LostSista** - You know...I never actually thought about that. But I suppose it does give him a lot of space..I should have expanded on that, darnit!  
**SassyLostie** - Just wanted to comment on how I love that you talk back to the characters. Hehehe! It's usually something I do too.  
**Mathildou** - Could be!

Good thing you guys are such good reviewers. ;)

**Chapter 10**

They started to unpack their things and get situated. Kate went into the bathroom to put their toiletries in there. She felt a small wave of nausea come over her, but it went away quickly. She went back out, finding Sawyer already lighting a cigarette out on the deck. She opened the sliding doors to join him.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Just did," he said, letting out a stream of smoke.

"Is something bothering you?"

"What makes you think somethin's botherin' me?"

"I don't know," she leaned over the railing, looking down at the panorama. "You've just seemed to be in a weird mood since we got here."

He shook his head. "I'm fine, Freckles. Probably just jet lag."

She looked up at him, concerned. "Are you sure?"

He put an arm around her and smiled. "Positive."

She smiled, weakly. "Okay."

"Don't look _too_ thrilled now."

"Sorry."

"C'mon, sweet cheeks. We're in _LA_," he said gesturing elaborately at the view below.

She laughed. "What's your point?"

"Puh-lease. I know you wanna get out there and meet all those hot movie stars. Why sit here and hang around _me_ when you could get guys like Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise," he teased.

"Don't try and pin _your_ fantasies on _me_," she grinned.

"What're you sayin'?"

"Hmm. Jessica Alba, Angelina Jolie…"

He shook his head and flicked his cigarette over the edge. "They ain't got nothin' on you."

She pressed her lips together. "How about Ana-Lucia Cortez?"

His playful expression immediately melted into a look of worry. "What?"

"I was kidding…" she tried, wishing he'd wipe the look from his face.

"Why would you even mention her?" he said, turning to face her now.

She stared at him, then shrugged, letting out a nervous laugh. "It was a joke."

She turned to walk away but he followed her. "I ain't buyin' that."

"Buying what?"

"You brought her up for a reason, Freckles. And I wanna know what that reason is."

"Sawyer, I told you. It was a joke."

He grabbed her arm before she could turn away. "Tell me."

She didn't say anything. She put her free hand in her pocket, but it was empty. Her eyebrows furrowed, but her gaze remained on Sawyer. He looked down at her searching her pockets which were both empty.

"What're you lookin' for?"

Her brow creased in confusion. "Nothing."

"Nothing?" He let go of her arm and reached into his own pocket, pulling out the red hair tie. "What about this?"

Kate stared at it and her eyes widened in realization. She took it from him to examine closely and point out the black hairs on it, but there were none there.

"I thought…"

"It ain't hers," he shook his head.

"There were black strands of hair on this," she said, frustrated. Then her eyes widened as she stared at him. "You took them off."

"Wha – Are you serious, Freckles?!"

"They were on there. That's why I took it!" she said, staring down at it.

"Took it from where?"

"The _attic_," she looked up at him accusingly.

"What're you talkin' about?"

She threw the hair tie at him. "Forget it," she said leaving the room.

"Freckles!"

He ran after her, and stopped abruptly at the kitchen doorway. Kate was already in there with Claire and Charlie. He sighed and looked away. Kate looked at the floor. Claire looked back and forth between them both.

"Is everything all right?" she asked.

"Fine," Kate said, quickly.

"You're sure?"

"Yeah, we're good," Sawyer said, with a sigh. After an awkward moment of silence, he added, "I'm gonna go to the store."

"For what?" Charlie asked, confused.

"A _tooth brush_," he replied, glaring at Kate.

"Oh. Well, I'll come with you!" Charlie jumped up from his seat.

"That's all right, daddy-o. I'll go myself."

"No, it's okay. Besides, you don't have a car."

He sighed in defeat. "Well then, guess we may as well find one while we're out there."

"Great."

Charlie went back over to Claire and gave her a quick kiss, and gave Aaron a pat on the head.

"Anything you need?" he asked softly.

"No, thanks."

"Okay. I'll be back soon."

Sawyer glanced at Kate but she looked away, angrily. The tension was quickly building up. Charlie cut past Sawyer, grabbing his keys off the hook. Sawyer looked one last time at Kate, then followed Charlie out the door.


	11. Chapter 11

Quickie:

For those of you wondering about Sawyer's sudden change of attitude, here's a hint: It's has nothing to do with what happened on/off the plane.

p.s. - Sorry that I didn't update this yesterday. I didn't realize I'd be out all day and passed out when I got home.

**Chapter 11**

After they left, Kate sighed and took a seat at the table with Claire.

"Are you and Sawyer getting along okay?"

Kate forced a smile. "We'll be fine. Just…a stupid argument."

"If you're sure…"

"I am."

"Okay," Claire said, seeming to accept that answer. "So, how do you like LA so far?"

"It's different. I don't know if I've seen enough of it to know how I feel yet, you know?"

"Yeah. It's really great, though. I mean, I didn't think I would like it, but I really do. And Aaron loves it. When he's old enough, Charlie's promised to take us to Disneyland!"

"Sounds like fun."

"Mum!" Aaron said from his chair. "More nana's!"

Kate smiled. "I didn't realize he could talk already."

"Oh yeah," Claire said, getting up to peel a banana. "It's hard to get him to stay quiet these days."

"I'm sure."

Aaron looked at Kate, curiously. "Who?"

She grinned. "I'm Kate."

"Kay," he tried to mimic.

She laughed. "That's close enough."

"Muma! Kay!" he informed his mother, pointing to Kate.

"Yes, Aaron. That's Kate."

Kate suddenly wasn't feeling so well. Her nausea returned and she started feeling dizzy again. Claire sat back down and noticed right away.

"Are you all right?" she asked worriedly.

Kate nodded. "I'll be right back."

She hurried through their guest room into the bathroom, since she didn't know where another one was. A short time later, Kate washed her face and breathed a few times, feeling somewhat better. She joined Claire in the kitchen again, who wore a small grin.

"Sorry. I…needed to check something," Kate lied.

Claire smiled up at her. "Do you know when it's due?"

Kate's expression instantly melted. Her eyes widened and she felt her stomach churning again. Claire only shook her head.

"I was pregnant too, you know. It's not hard to tell what's going on when you've been through it."

Kate looked down. There was no use denying it.

"February."

"You haven't told anyone about it, have you?" Claire asked, shaking her head.

"No," Kate said, looking up at her again. "Only Sawyer knows."

Claire nodded. "Are you…"

"Yeah. We're keeping it."

She smiled again. "That's great. Congratulations."

"Thanks," she smiled at the floor.

* * *

After stopping in the store to buy Sawyer's tooth brush, and a few more cartons of cigarettes, Charlie decided they should go and rent a car for Sawyer and Kate's use. But at this rate, he would've rather walked. Sawyer tapped his cigarette out the window several times, even though there was barely any ash on the tip. It was his third one already, and they were only fifteen minutes into the ride. He didn't know how much longer he could take Charlie's rambling about his stupid band and how they'd gone "platinum", or his horrible singing along with the car radio, for that matter. If he wasn't so sure he'd get in trouble, he would've strangled the guy's neck right then and there.

"How much longer 'til we get to this place?" he tossed the cigarette out the window.

"Oh. It's just about twenty minutes away. We'll be there in no time."

"You sure?" he said, pulling his nearly empty carton of cigarettes from his back pocket.

"You oughta slow down on those, eh, mate?"

"It ain't gonna kill me _today_," he said, lighting one, wishing it _would_.

"Right," Charlie said, deciding to end that conversation. "So, you got your tux all picked out?"

"No tux. I gotta suit in my bag."

"A suit?"

"Yeah," he glared. "That a problem, Chucky?"

"No. No, that's fine."

"Good."

"Kate's letting you wear the suit?"

"She ain't got no say in the matter."

"Oh. That's wonderful," Charlie muttered to himself. "Have you two been…I mean is everything all right with you guys?"

"We're_ fine_. You just worry about drivin' us to the damn Rent-A-Center."

"Rent-A-Car," Charlie corrected him.

"Yeah, whatever."

"So, are you two expecting any little ones soon, or what?"

Sawyer stiffened. "You said what now?"

"Babies, mate!" he grinned.

Sawyer gritted his teeth. "What in hell would give you that idea?"

"Oh well, Kate didn't look so great earlier. I just thought – "

"You thought _what_?!"

"I thought maybe she was having some morning sickness, you know?"

Sawyer quieted and looked out the window. He didn't want to be a part of the conversation anymore. He didn't want to talk about the pregnancy anymore, or even think about it.

"Is she?" Charlie's grin widened.

"Is she _what_?"

"Pregnant!"

"Yes! She is. Okay!?"

He patted Sawyer on the back. "Congratulations, mate."

Sawyer sighed, tossing his cigarette out the window. "Whatever."


	12. Chapter 12

Quickie: 

**bonboni** - Well, they only _just_ got there, and they're supposed to spend the week before the wedding at C/C's. So...that's how long.  
**xox-emily-xox** - I think you might be onto something there in regards to Sawyer's issues. wink  
**lost-crazy** - Considering who the parents are, don't you think one is enough? Hehe! Ugh. But if I was going to do twins, I wouldn't kill Kate with two boys. (No offense meant.)

I feel bad that I couldn't update yesterday, so I'm throwing you guys another chapter. Hope you like it. (even though the answer to Sawyer might not be in this one...)

**Chapter 12**

Sawyer managed to survive the drive to the Rent-A-Car center and enjoyed the blissful _silent_ drive back to their apartment. Kate still wouldn't talk or look at him when they got back. Claire and Charlie really had difficulty trying to keep the conversation going as they all sat in the living room. Kate went into the kitchen to help herself to a drink, when Charlie got up to join her.

"Hey Kate," he greeted.

"Hey Charlie," she smiled. "How was the ride with Sawyer?"

"Oh it was fine."

"He wasn't too much trouble, was he?"

"Nah. He was fine. What about you? How are you doing?"

She looked at him slightly confused. "I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Not feeling sick, are you?"

She stared at him, her smile fading. "Why would I?"

"Oh you know," he said quietly, glancing at her stomach. "It does that sometimes."

She blinked hard, several times. "I didn't realize Sawyer told you…"

"Congratulations, by the way," he grinned, leaving her alone in the kitchen again.

She stood for a moment, stunned. She went back into the living room and grabbed Sawyer's arm, catching him off guard.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

He looked at her, bemused, and got up. _Great_, he thought. _Time to argue again. _She pulled him into the guest room and closed the door.

"What?" he said, irritably.

"I thought we decided we weren't going to tell anyone," she said quietly, glaring at him.

"What're you talkin' about?"

"Charlie_ knows_, Sawyer."

"Oh, _that_."

"Yeah," she said, condescendingly. "That."

"What? You think I _wanted_ to tell him?! He kept askin' me and wouldn't let it go! So I finally just told him so he'd shut up!"

She turned away from him, her face distressed. "Great."

"What do you care? He ain't gonna tell anyone."

"They might!"

He stared at her. "_They?"_

"What?" she whipped around, staring at him, wide-eyed.

He glared, smirking. "Oh, but you can yell at _me_?!"

"What are you talking about?" she said with a nervous laugh.

"You told Claire, didn't you?" he grinned devilishly.

She opened her mouth to argue but closed it again, staring at him.

"The girl's been grinnin' at me the whole time. _Now_ I know why!"

"She guessed!" she tried to explain.

"Yeah, whatever."

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? I didn't want to tell her but she got it out of me." She paused, and laughed. "You know, what am I apologizing for? You told Charlie about it."

"Fine. We both screwed up, all right?"

"All right." Her eyes widened. "Do you think they'll tell?"

"Tell who?" She looked at him sardonically. "I don't know. You'd better hope not."

"_We'd_ better hope not."

"_We_," he corrected, annoyed.

She sighed. "Let's just…try to get through the week without really talking about it. Maybe they'll forget."

He snickered. "Yeah, right."

She looked at him with pleading eyes. "No one needs to know our business."

"You think I don't know that? I don't need people comin' up to me and congratulatin' me for a _mistake_!"

Kate looked down, trying to hide the hurt in her eyes. "Yeah," she said softly.

"We're better off tellin' no one. At all."

"Oh really," she muttered.

"What?"

"Try practicing what you preach," she teased.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She folded her arms, unable to resist grinning. "Well, you know you _did_ tell Charlie."

"And _you_ told Claire," he shot back, the corners of his own lips turning up.

She rolled her eyes, smiling. "So now that we know better, we can at least agree to not tell anyone else, right?"

"Didn't plan on it."

"Good."

"_Good_," he mimicked.

She laughed. "Let's try not to start that up again."

"Well if I remember correctly, it was you that kept the "fine" going."

"Only because you kept coming back with another one. Besides, I ended it."

She turned around and grabbed the door knob but he grabbed her arm, turning her around again.

"Hey," he said softly, staring at her seriously now. "We ever gonna finish what we started this morning?"

She stared at him for a moment, thinking. It was pointless. What had happened with Ana-Lucia was in the past. But she was still curious as to how the hair tie got in the attic when he never let _anyone_ up there…

"I mean I already told you nothin' happened," he went on.

"Is that the truth, Sawyer?"

It was his turn to stare at her now.

"We fell asleep," he finally said. She shook her head, confused. "In the attic. We fell asleep on the floor."

Her eyebrows knit, and she swallowed hard. He wasn't sure if she was fighting back tears or just trying to take it all in. He realized he needed to go into further detail before she spoke again.

"She went up and took one of the guns when I wasn't home. Same one we found in the guest room the day your pal came to kill me."

She blinked furiously, looking down. That was something she could do without remembering.

"Only reason we were up there was to put it back. But then she started snoopin' and found some pictures of my parents. I guess we just fell asleep after that because only thing I remember is wakin' up that morning and my back killin' me from sleepin' on the wood floor."

She nodded, absorbing it all.

"We didn't screw," he added.

She almost laughed. It was a plausible story. And she actually believed it. Every word. She nodded, finally bringing her eyes back up to his.

"Okay."

"Okay?" he looked at her, surprised.

She smiled and nodded again. That was why he didn't mind her being in the attic now. He felt obligated to let her up there since Ana had gotten up there. While it was a little irking, she was still glad.

"Come on," she pulled his arm. "They're going to get the wrong idea."

He smirked at her back. "So let 'em," he said, pulling her back for a long kiss.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Later that evening, Claire and Kate left to go to the tailor to make sure the dresses fit. As luck would have it, Claire was off by one size, leaving the tailor most displeased. They wrote down the correct sizes and left the shop for dinner. Claire chose a small café and they took their seats at a table outside on the patio. They placed their orders and were left alone.

"So, how are you doing?"

Kate looked at her curiously. "I'm great."

Claire nodded, then smiled sweetly. "Getting a lot of morning sickness yet?"

Kate diverted her glance down at the table. She sighed.

"Did I say something?" Claire asked, concerned.

"Look. Claire. It's nothing against _you_. Really. I just…don't feel comfortable talking about it yet."

Claire stared at her, and nodded, looking down. "Okay."

"I'm sorry."

"No, no. Don't worry about it. I understand."

There was an awkward silence between them, for a few minutes. The waiter returned with their orders. Claire smiled weakly up at him, then looked at Kate who was staring at her food.

"Look, Kate, I'm sorry. If I had known – "

"No. It's okay. You didn't know. It's just…a touchy subject I guess."

"Well, I know it can be hard but…" She trailed off, seeing Kate's cynical stare, and laughed. "Sorry. No more talking about it. I promise."

Kate smiled. "Thanks." She used her fork to poke at her food while Claire ate. "So what about you? Are you excited?"

"You know, everyone keeps asking me that. But I'm really not. I keep thinking, 'Oh when it gets closer to the day I'll be more excited'" she raised her eyebrows. "But I'm still not."

Kate nodded, smiling. "Are you nervous?"

"Extremely." They laughed. "What about you and Sawyer?"

Kate stopped chewing for a moment, then slowly continued. "What about us?"

"Are you two going to get married before or after…" she glanced down at Kate's stomach.

Kate felt her stomach twist, suddenly losing her appetite. She accidentally dropped her fork and it landed on her plate with a loud clang. Why did that question make her feel like she couldn't breathe?

"You all right?"

"Uh, I'm fine. It's just…we uh…" Kate focused on her food. "We haven't really discussed it."

"Oh."

They were quiet for another few minutes, both avoiding eye contact with the other. Kate felt bad. She knew Claire was only being polite and making conversation. Trying to be a friend was the appropriate phrase. But she asked all the wrong questions. Claire let out a nervous laugh.

"I feel like every time I open my mouth I say something stupid."

"No, don't feel like that," Kate assured her. "I guess it's just strange for me. For a while now the only person I've had to talk to is Sawyer. I'm not used to talking about things like that with anyone else."

Claire nodded in understanding. "Yeah. Well I don't mean to be too personal or anything."

"You're not. Really."

* * *

Sawyer meanwhile was at the apartment with Charlie helping him "take care" of Aaron. In reality, he was in the living room flipping through over 1000 channels trying to find something to set his mind on, while Charlie was in the kitchen feeding Aaron. Everything seemed to be going well until a loud wailing echoed through the house. When it didn't stop after a few minutes, Sawyer got up, concerned, and went into the kitchen.

"What the hell are you doin' to that kid?"

Charlie looked up innocently. "Feeding him."

"That ain't what it sounded like."

"What?"

"He was screamin' like a damn banshee."

"He's impatient," Charlie explained, spooning baby food into Aaron's mouth.

It figured he stopped crying when he came into the room. Sawyer looked at Aaron and grunted.

"You want to give it a try?" Charlie beamed, holding out the spoon.

Sawyer took a step back. "No."

"Oh why not, man? It'll do you good to know what you're in for."

"I said _no_!" he snapped, leaving the room as quickly as he could.

He sighed as he sat back down on the couch. There was no way he was going to feed that kid. Hell, he wouldn't do _anything_ for it. He hated kids. That's when he realized…what the hell was he getting himself into?

He pushed the thoughts away, having finally found something to watch on TV and sat back in the couch to get more comfortable. Just as he was getting into the show, Aaron's cries loudly interrupted. Charlie walked out with the crying toddler in his arms.

"Christ. Can't you shut that thing up?" Sawyer asked, annoyed.

"Sorry," Charlie muttered, heading towards the nursery.

The crying still didn't stop after five minutes, and Sawyer was growing more and more irritated. Charlie came back out in a rush. Sawyer saw him coming his way and filled with dread.

"Think you can do me a favor and watch him, mate? I need – "

"Oh no you don't," Sawyer put his hands up, pushing Aaron away. "I don't want it."

"I just need to run out and get more diapers for him. It'll only be a few minutes."

"No. I don't think – "

"Here," he said, shoving him in Sawyer's arms. "I just – "

"I CAN'T!" Sawyer shouted, panicking.

"You'll be fine!" Charlie called heading down the hall. "He'll calm down in a few minutes!"

The door slammed and Sawyer was left holding Aaron two feet away from him. He stared at Aaron who seemed to be wearing himself out with his tears. He stared at Aaron, hopelessly. What was _he_ supposed to do!?

Sawyer put him down on the couch next to him, but he only continued crying.

"Uh…be quiet," he said.

Aaron was still crying, but it lessened. Sawyer was suddenly struck with remembrance of the island. Charlie made him read to the baby to keep him quiet. Sawyer got up and turned to Aaron.

"Stay…" he said, cautiously. "That's it, good boy."

Aaron stared at him dumbfounded. Sawyer nodded, slowly backing away.

"You, uh, you just stay right there," he said, heading to the nursery.

About twenty minutes later, Kate and Claire walked in the house. It was silent, except for a muffled voice. They exchanged glances and listened to see if they could hear where the voice was coming from.

"Oh. You wanna turn the pages now? Fine. Go ahead." the voice said. "So, then the wolf said, little pig, I'm gonna eat you up. I'm gonna climb down your chimney and get you. G'head. Next page."

Kate stopped next to Claire in the doorway of the living room. They found Sawyer sitting on the couch, Aaron on his lap, reading the story of the _Three Little Pigs_ to him.

"So, into the pot fell the big bad wolf, with a big splash," he read, glancing up. "And…"

He stopped and looked up again, realizing that Kate was standing in the entryway. His eyes widened, but she only smiled at him. Aaron patted his hands on the pages, breaking Sawyer's concentration. He cleared his throat, nervously.

"And uh…that was the end of the wolf. The end," he finished quickly, closing the book up.

"No! More!" Aaron protested.

"Aw come on, Huey. I read it three times already."

"Again!"

Claire walked past Kate. "I'll take him. It's past his bedtime anyway."

"Oh. Right," he said, holding him up for her to take.

"Thanks, Sawyer."

"Yeah. Sure."

She left the room, leaving Kate and Sawyer alone. Kate wandered over and sat down next to him. He looked away, wishing she hadn't walked in. She would never let him live it down. He knew exactly how this conversation was going to go.

"Looks like you had a fun night," she grinned.

"Yeah, right."

"Where's Charlie?"

"Said he was goin' to buy more diapers. And that was about half hour ago."

She grinned, knowingly. "And you actually babysat?"

"Not like I really had a choice, Freckles."

Kate picked up the book beside her. "_The Three Little Pigs_, huh?"

"Seemed like a good idea at the time. 'Til he made me read it again. And again."

She laughed and saw him smile a little. He looked up at her and she smiled at him. He saw something in her eyes, not sure of what it was. Maybe it was admiration. Maybe it was love. Whatever it was, it made him happy. He watched her eyes lower to his lips, and back up again, questioningly. He leaned toward her to kiss her, but, unfortunately, they heard Claire's footsteps nearing the room. He leaned back again. Claire stopped at the entrance, her eyebrows furrowed.

"Where's Charlie?"

"Said he went to buy diapers," Sawyer answered, disappointedly.

"Oh. Well," she lingered for a moment. "I'm going to head to bed. See you two in the morning, okay?"

Sawyer nodded, bidding her farewell.

Kate smiled. "Good night."


	14. Chapter 14

Quickie:

**SassyLostie** - Well, kids will be kids. You know that as well as I do. Ugh. Ten kids? I can't even manage my two younger brothers from time to time!

On Charlie...I realized now that I never addressed the issue of what took him so long. But I'll have you all know that no harm has come to him. Just wanted to clarify seeing as I left that incomplete and can't really go back to fix it now. Whoops!

So...I'm bored. And...I know this is twice in one day but what do you care? Read and review and ease my boredom for a bit. Nyah!

**Chapter 14**

Two days later, early one morning, Kate felt herself being shaken lightly. She moaned lightly, turning on her side. It did her no good, seeing as she was only shook more aggressively.

"Freckles, wake up," Sawyer whispered as he shook her.

She turned over, opening her eyes only to find herself face to face with him. She let out a long breath.

"What's wrong?"

"Get up."

"What?" she said, groggily.

"Shh. Just get up," he murmured, leaning back again. "And get dressed."

She sat up and rubbed her head. "Why?"

"Just trust me, Freckles."

She blinked. How could she argue with that? She got up and went into the bathroom to splash cold water on her face and brush her teeth. When she finished, she joined Sawyer in the room again to get dressed. He was sitting on the bed, lacing his boots up, lacking a shirt. She stood at the foot of the bed pulling a pair of jeans on.

"You wanna tell me what's going on now?"

He looked over at her and dimpled. "No."

"Not another one of your surprises is it?" she teased, pulling her shirt over her head.

"And what if it is?"

She only smiled in response, and glanced at the clock: 7:30AM.

"Why are we up so early?"

"Got a bit of a ride ahead of us."

"What are you planning, Sawyer?"

He grinned. "A surprise."

She smiled. "Shouldn't we tell Charlie or Claire?"

"No."

"What if they see us gone and get worried?"

"You wanna leave 'em a note, Freckles?" he joked.

"Yeah. I do."

He rolled his eyes. "_Fine_. But make it quick. And be quiet about it!"

She opened the door quietly and slipped out, tiptoeing into the kitchen. She found paper and wrote a note for Charlie and Claire, letting them know that she and Sawyer would be out for the day. She left it on the table and quietly made her way past the nursery and back into their room. Unfortunately, she forgot about the door and it slammed shut. Sawyer turned around, eyes wide. She stared at him.

"Sorry," she whispered.

"Christ, Freckles. If they wake up…"

She stayed leaning against the door, ignoring Sawyer and listening for anything out in the hall. Nothing.

"I think we're good."

"You'd better hope so."

"Why? What if they did wake up?"

"Then the whole plan would be messed up," he explained, buttoning his shirt up.

"Would you just tell me what's going on already?" she laughed.

"No. I won't," he said, looking up at her.

"Why not?"

"You really don't know how to be patient, do you sweet cheeks?"

"Well you know how I hate surprises," she teased.

"Oh, right. You expect me to feel all bad again and tell you now, don't you?"

She grinned and sat next to him on the bed. He shook his head.

"I'm not fallin' for that again."

She laughed. "You didn't fall for it last time either. In fact, you still never told me where we were supposed to end up that day."

"Yeah, well, it doesn't matter. What matters is that we get outta here in exactly five minutes without bein' seen or heard."

"So you're not going to tell me, huh?"

"I ain't plannin' on it."

She leaned closer to him. "I can't persuade you at all?"

He had given himself one rule when it came to Kate and her persuasive efforts: to focus his gaze ahead of him instead of on her. Breaking his own rule, however, he turned and looked at her, their noses almost touching.

"You can do all the persuading you want," he said playfully, "on the way there."

She leaned back, beaming. "All right, fine."

"You mind if we pick up breakfast on the road?"

"On the road to where?"

"Damn, woman. Why don't you just give it up already?" he laughed.

She laughed too. "Hey. I've got to try, right?"

"All right. Let's go."

He opened the door, letting her out first, and closed it quietly. Kate started walking down the hall as silently as she could.

"Kay!" Aaron called from his crib in the nursery.

Kate froze, staring at him.

"Kaaay!" he called again.

She turned and stared at Aaron in his crib, then looked up at Sawyer, wide-eyed.

"What the hell are you doing?!"

"I – "

"He's a baby! Just go!" Sawyer whispered, giving her a small nudge.

Kate snapped out of it and hurried through past the kitchen, Sawyer on her heels. They heard a door open and both stopped. They heard Claire's voice and hurried out the door. Kate pressed the elevator button furiously.

"Take the stairs," Sawyer said, heading towards them.

Just then, the elevator doors opened. Kate grabbed his arm and pulled him back. They went inside and the doors closed, bringing them downward. They both sighed in unison.

"Think they heard us?" she glanced up at him.

"Doesn't matter now, does it?"

"I wish I could've told them where we were going," she said with a teasing smile.

"You keep askin' and we just might not go."

"I don't know. I think I could persuade you…"

"Baby, nothin' you do could persuade me to give it up."

"Oh no?" she said, moving toward him.

He took a few steps back, bumping into a wall. She had him cornered. He only grinned. He'd expected it when she backed him into the corner. He even expected her kissing him, which she did. But what really threw him off was when he felt her hands sliding down into his jeans – dangerous territory.

Still six floors from the bottom, the doors suddenly opened. An elderly couple dressed in their Sunday's best stepped in, both rather shocked at what they saw. Kate immediately backed away from Sawyer, and looked down, hiding her shame. Sawyer, however, looked at the couple with a genuine grin. They eyed him, suspiciously.

"Beautiful day, ain't it?" he said to them.

They looked away from him, appalled. Kate looked up at him, bewildered. She mouthed the words "Stop it" to him, but he only rolled his eyes. Sawyer noted the long tan trench coat the man wore.

"Like the coat, Columbo."

Kate laughed quietly, keeping her head down. The man cleared his throat, apparently uncomfortable. The doors opened and Kate stepped out first. Sawyer slowly followed her, and turned looking at the couple over his shoulder.

"Ya'll have a good Sunday prayer now," he grinned.

Kate laughed, walking out the door. "You get a kick out of this, don't you?"

"I was just bein' friendly."

"Of course you were."

"Oh come on. _You_ thought it was funny."

"That doesn't mean they did," she said, still laughing.

"C'mon, Freckles. Can't be late now."

Kate grinned, wishing she knew where they were going and what was going on. One thing, she noticed, at least – Sawyer was in a good mood.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Sawyer and Kate were already an hour and half into the ride, but only about forty five minutes from the apartment. Sawyer stomped on the brakes again, pulling the car into a gas station. He sighed and watched Kate run out to the attendant, asking for use of the bathroom. _Eight stops_, he counted in his head. At this rate, the day he had planned was going to be shot down the drain. A few more minutes had passed when he saw Kate coming back. Her ponytail swung wildly and she wore a very disgusted expression. She got back into the car and sighed.

"I'm sorry," she said for the fourth time that morning.

"Don't worry about it," he said – for the fourth time, as well - starting the car up again.

"That had to be the most disgusting bathroom we've come across."

"Guess you paid your dues then," he joked.

She rolled her eyes, grinning out the window. "Thanks," she said sarcastically.

"Anytime."

"How much further?"

He snickered. "We ain't even half way there yet."

She stared at him. "Have I really been that bad?"

"Let's just say at the rate we're goin', we'll be lucky to get there by twelve."

"Sorry," she looked down. "I'm starting to feel a _little_ better now."

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye as he drove. It wasn't hard to tell that she was lying. Her face was still pale, and her eyes still looked tired. She was only saying it so the day wasn't ruined – so he'd think he could keep on driving and that there wouldn't be any more stops. He knew this was far from the truth, but he let her off easy. She was feeling bad enough as it was. He didn't want to make it any worse.

About forty-five minutes later, Kate let out a long huffing breath. He looked at her, seeing her distressed face.

"You all right, Freckles?"

She put on a phony smile. "Fine. Keep driving."

Still concerned, he obeyed. Another ten minutes passed and he heard her breathing unsteadily, and swallowing. He saw her hands clutching her stomach. She'd been holding it back all this time. He sighed, exasperatedly.

"If you need to stop, then tell me to stop, Freckles!" he said, pulling over to the side of the road. "Jesus…"

Without a word, she hurried out of the car and let it out on the side of the road. Thankfully, no cars were around. He stared out the passenger side window at her, anxiously. He saw her fall onto her bottom, sitting with her head hanging between her knees. He grabbed her bottle of water and turned the car off, getting out. He rounded the car and kneeled next to her, placing a hand on her back. She looked up at him with a weak smile as he handed her the water. He sat down next to her now, pulling her to him in a half-hug. She rested her head on his shoulder.

It was only a matter of minutes before she crawled out of his embrace to be sick again. He watched helplessly, knowing they weren't going to be getting anywhere anytime soon…

After nearly two hours, Sawyer and Kate were on the road again – behind schedule. Kate's sickness had subsided, finally. She stared out the window reading the signs they passed by, trying to figure out where they were heading. Although, the only signs they kept passing gave no indication as to where they were going.

"Do you know where you're going?" she tried, seeing if he had given up.

"'Course I do," he grinned.

"Are you sure? Because – "

"Don't worry, Shortcake. I ain't lost."

"That's a change," she teased.

"Har har."

She sighed and continued watching out the window, hoping they were close. About an hour later, she kept seeing signs decorated with mouse ears and star-topped wands.

"You're sure you're going the right way?"

"Yup."

"Then why is it that all I keep seeing are signs for…" she trailed, realizing what the sign said. "Disneyland," she read. She turned towards him, beaming.

He glanced sideways at her, trying to act confused. "What?"

She laughed. "Are you taking me to Disneyland?"

"Now where would you get an idea like that?" he smirked.

"Come on Sawyer," she said with another laugh. "Tell me the truth."

"I already told you I ain't gonna tell you."

"Pull over," she said, suddenly.

"What, you not feeling good again?" he said, his expression instantly melting into worry.

"Just stop the car, Sawyer."

He did as he was told and pulled over on the side of the road. Kate unbuckled her seatbelt and started to climb over the center.

"What the hell are you doin'?" he said, watching her.

She landed in his lap, facing him with a bright smile. He laughed.

"What're you doin'?"

She didn't answer him. She placed her hands on either side of his face and pulled him closer in a long, passionate kiss. He pulled away for a moment, completely taken by surprise. She stared at him, impatiently. He leaned closer to her again, kissing her vigorously.

As she leaned back more, she felt herself pressing against the steering wheel. The car horn sounded suddenly, startling them both. She looked down, laughing, leaning into him again and off of the steering wheel. She looked up at him, her forehead against his. He threw his hands in the air in defeat.

"All right. Fine. So we're goin' to Disneyland."


	16. Chapter 16

Quickie:

**Mathildou** - Haha! You're right. If it takes after Sawyer, it's damned well bound to be a pain in the butt.  
**bonboni** - Bah. Expensive? Whatever. Sawyer's got money.  
**Diger** - Yay. Glad you decided to come out of the darkness of lurkville. :)  
**LostSista** - Well, who's to say Sawyer _wanted_ to go?

You know what's funny? Every single one of you picked the _same_ part to copy into your reviews. Teehee! Guess that means I did _something_ right.

Anyway, I need to learn to kick this rapid update habit. (I know, I know. You're all yelling NO! DON'T!) But see, here's the thing. With the previous stories, they were all completed already. So I was just able to update them like there was no tomorrow. This one is not completed. Still in the works. And if I run out of the chapters too quickly, I don't want you all waiting an eternity for an update. So remind me again to calm down with these. Hehe.

**Chapter 16**

"You sure you want to do this?" she asked him seriously.

"Would you just stop and lemme do my thing?" he replied, annoyed.

"I'm just saying. This is your last chance to – "

"I _got it_, Freckles."

He tossed his last remaining ball, of three, missing the target – a hole in the mouth of a colorful Mickey Mouse painted on a wooden board. Kate sucked in her lips, forcing herself not to laugh. He sighed, and glanced at her, glaringly.

"Thanks for playing," the vender said.

They started walking again. She glanced up at him, trying hard to stop smiling, but the corners of her mouth kept turning up.

"Game's gotta be rigged," he said, finally.

"Uh-huh," she said, giving up restraining her smile.

"I mean, who in the hell could get the ball in that mouse's mouth? And they expect kids to be able to win that?!"

She laughed. "It's a game, Sawyer. Don't beat yourself up over it."

"I'm just sayin'…"

"You did your best."

"That wasn't my best."

"Really? Four tries in a row. That's…what? _Twelve_ chances to get the ball in its mouth. But none of those were your best, right?" she teased.

"I'm glad you're gettin' such a kick out of it, puddin'."

"Don't worry. There's plenty of other games you could attempt," she said playfully.

"You think you could do better?"

She grinned at the ground as they walked, staying silent for a moment as she contemplated. She came to an abrupt stop and turned around to face him.

"Pick a game."

"What??"

"Just pick one, Sawyer."

He looked around him, the colors blinding him. He lingered the longest on the water gun game called "Thirsty Work". Shooting water into the mouth of one of many Disney characters in order to pop the balloon attached to its head. It was _always_ the mouth, he thought to himself.

"That one," he said, pointing to _Thirsty Work_.

She looked, and immediately a smirk appeared across her face.

"_What_?" he demanded.

"You're sure you want to do that one?"

"Pretty darn."

"All right," she laughed. "Come on."

They got to the counter top and paid the fee. Kate picked up her gun and began to position herself.

"Had much practice?" he teased.

"Have you?" she shot back.

He snickered and leaned over the counter, getting into position. Kate glanced over at him, grinning.

"You're going down, Ford."

"In your dreams, Sassafras."

The bell signaled to begin and the water shot out. Kate's aim was dead on, while Sawyer's was about an inch off. He fixed that and glanced over at Kate's balloon. She was winning. Then he looked at her, and saw how concentrated she was. He got an idea, and shifted his body to the side a bit, giving her a nudge. Her arms wavered and her gun moved off the target.

"Hey!" she laughed looking up at him.

He smirked, keeping his own water gun perfectly aimed. He was now in the lead. She nudged him back and his gun moved. He looked at her, stunned.

"That's it," he said, nudging her again, harder.

She bumped into the person next to her, laughing. She forced herself to stop as they glared at her.

"I'm so sorry," she managed to get out before laughing again as she moved over.

The bell rang again, ending the game. Kate and Sawyer looked at their balloons. Both were extremely inflated, but neither popped. They looked down the line and saw a child, maybe five or six years of age picking out her prize. Sawyer looked back at Kate again, and she up at him. She laughed again, shaking her head, as they began to walk once more.

"You cheated."

"Maybe."

"Don't think you're getting away with it."

"What're you gonna do about it?"

"Rematch. And this time, _I'm_ picking the game. "

"Oh. This oughta be good."

She looked around as they walked, trying to find a game which she'd have the upper hand in. They were all children's games. Toss the rings onto the bottle, flip the frog on the lily pad, and throw a dart at a balloon. None of those would do. Then she saw one that caught her eye. It was a game where a BB-gun was used to shoot the paper targets. Eight targets, eight bullets. If you got them all, you won a prize.

"Come on," she said, pulling him over to the game.

"Got a gun fetish, Freckles?"

"Shut up."

"Two," Sawyer told the vender, giving him the money.

"Eight bullets, eight targets. Miss one, and you lose. Whenever you're ready," the guy said.

They exchanged a glance, and Sawyer noticed a sparkle in Kate's eye. It was the same sparkle she always got when she was doing something that was of criminal nature. She took the gun, holding it perfectly, and looked up at him – waiting. He took his, and also aimed perfectly. No. Guns weren't a problem for him. Except maybe water guns that happened to be attached to the countertops…

Soon, the sound of BB-gun shots filled the area. In an instant, all eight of Sawyer's were gone. He lowered the gun, realizing that Kate had too. He stared at her sheet and saw she'd gotten all eight targets, perfectly. When he looked at her, she was looking at his sheet. He, too, had gotten all eight. They shared a long, knowing stare and the same excited feeling they got after committing a crime. He smiled at her, and she smiled at him – a secret smile. One that only they knew.

He could have easily swept her up in his arms right then and there. But there were too many people. Hell, he would have anyway. He didn't care. But she would…

"Yo. You guys wanna pick out prizes or what?" the vender called.

They looked up at the assortment of prizes. Sawyer chose a stuffed white rabbit which he knew he would give to Kate. She picked a small wolf plush. They started walking, yet again, and looked at each other's prizes.

"Wolf, huh?"

"I thought I'd give it to Aaron."

_Ah._ He nodded. _That figured._ Kate looked at his rabbit.

"How cute," Kate teased.

"_Funny_."

"I didn't know you had a soft spot for _bunnies_."

He rolled his eyes. "I picked it for _you_," he said, handing it to her.

She stopped, and looked down at it. The amusement left her face.

"Really?"

He looked down, trying to hide the color that started to fill his face, and kicked the pavement.

"Yeah."

She looked down at the rabbit again, its floppy ears falling into its face. It was one of the most thoughtful things he'd ever done for her. She looked up at him, her eyebrows knit, nodding.

"Thank you."

He kept his eyes on the ground. "You're welcome."


	17. Chapter 17

Quickie:

**SassyLostie** - No, no rides. You can't really go on rides when you're carrying another person inside of you, ya know? And it ain't over til it's over.  
**sivan** - Um, I'm not sure whether or not you'll ever find out. As of now, I have no idea where they were supposed to end up. Haha. But it might well pop out in one of the chapters. You never know.

Major major props and credits to Jessie, mi amor, for her vonderful help with this chapter. Tons of credit to my sister too. :D

**Chapter 17**

Kate continued walking beside Sawyer, silently, gazing at her rabbit. There was an awkward tension between them now, and he found himself unable to look at her. Instead, he looked around him. There were stores full of Disney merchandise, concession stands, and Disney characters walking around entertaining the children.

After a few minutes, he suddenly felt himself being followed. He glanced over his shoulder and saw two costumed chipmunks following them. He faced forward again, hoping he was just imagining things. However, when he looked back again, they were still there. He stopped and turned fully around facing them. This took them by surprise and they started to act confused with each other, shrugging and pointing at him.

Kate, who was a few steps ahead, turned around having noticed Sawyer was no longer next to her. She stared for a minute watching him, before she walked back by him.

"What's going on?" she asked softly.

"Chip and Dale here were followin' us," he said, nodding toward the two chipmunks.

"So?"

"So, it was startin' to get annoying," he told her, irritated.

One of them waggled his finger in Sawyer's face, seemingly scolding him. The other put its hands on his hips, and nodded, apparently agreeing. He rolled his eyes and turned to walk away, but one of them grabbed his arm. He ripped it away, angrily.

"Don't touch me," he said in a low voice.

"I think they're just trying to get you to lighten up," Kate said, amused.

The chipmunks started wagging their heads up and down in agreement. He glared at her, and she rolled her eyes. Chip and Dale both went to Sawyer and Kate, forcing them to turn and face each other, then stepped away. They looked at the two, and the chipmunks were suddenly hugging themselves and blowing kisses.

Kate looked down and laughed. Sawyer shook his head, surprisingly feeling the corners of his mouth turning up. One of the chipmunks went behind Sawyer trying to give him a push forward, but with little success. The other was pointing to Kate while looking at Sawyer.

"What?"

Chip joined Dale again, who was still pointing at Kate. Sawyer looked at her, and she at him. Then he looked at the two of them once more.

"You want me to kiss her?"

They clasped their hands together, nodding furiously. Sawyer looked at Kate again, who was grinning. He grabbed her and pulled her close against his chest. She looked up at him for a moment and he brushed a few curls out of her face. He wrapped his arm around her and let his lips brush gently over hers. It was a long, slow, and entrancing kiss. They were oblivious to the joyful victory dancing from Chip and Dale.

Sawyer finally pulled away, but didn't let go of her just yet. He stared down at her, watching her eyelids slowly fluttering open as she let out a long unsteady breath. He smirked. They stared at each other for a long time, forgetting where they were.

Slowly, the screaming of children sounded again, and the scent of salty popcorn and sweet candies filled the air. The park came back into view, and they started to walk once more. Behind them, Chip and Dale waved good-bye, gleefully.

"So what do you say, Freckles?"

"I think they got a good show."

"Damn right."

She laughed. Her eyes traveled around them until she spotted something that interested her. The sign read "MJM Studios". She patted his chest with the back of her hand.

"Why don't we go over there?" she pointed.

He looked. "What's over there?"

"I don't know. Can't hurt to go see, though, right?"

He shrugged, and they headed over. They walked into the gate and found themselves in a billboard town. The cut-out buildings went high up, seemingly going on forever. There were people in costumes walking around, including two cowboys, a rather large Victorian woman, and Star Wars characters. They walked through cautiously, observing the theaters around them, offering different shows.

Sawyer heard crashing cars in the distance and was suddenly interested in seeing what it was about. He pulled Kate along until they found the source – an arena in which cars were performing death-defying stunts. Kate rolled her eyes as he insisted they sat and watched for a while. He was successful in the end, promising that when it was over, they could go where _she_ wanted to.

About fifteen minutes in, Sawyer cheered and made friends with the men next to them, as the cars performed. Kate sank back into the bleachers, watching them instead of the show. It turned out to be a more amusing form of entertainment for her. It was nearing sunset, two hours later, when the show was over, they walked through the wooden town again, where Kate searched for something she wanted to do. The large Victorian woman they'd seen earlier sauntered in their direction.

"Care to be photographed with me, sir?" she asked, batting her eyelashes at Sawyer.

He stared at her like she was crazy. "Are you kiddin' me?"

She immediately latched onto his arm. "I insist!"

Sawyer looked back at Kate, desperately. She, however, laughed at the sight. She followed them over to where the woman had him sit with her and pose. The camera flashed and the picture was taken. Kate took the photo from the photographer, laughing at it as they walked away.

"We're burnin' that when we get home."

"Oh no we're not," she shook her head, laughing.

Sawyer was going to argue, but was interrupted by a loud breathing noise.

"LUKE, I AM YOUR FATHER!" _Darth Vader_ said, suddenly in front of them.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed _Luke_, appropriately.

They walked around the two characters who had suddenly engaged in a lightsaber fight. Sawyer shook his head, clearly not amused. Kate knew his tolerance for the Studios was quickly wearing off.

"Can we get outta here now?" he asked, frustrated.

She nodded, knowingly. "Sure."

They exited the town and headed back into the world of Disney. As they walked, Kate spied a deep purple sign, and in bright yellow cursive it read "Esmeralda's Crystal Ball". Below, in print, it read "Fortune Teller". Kate stopped, and peered in. It was Sawyer's turn to watch her from a few steps away. Although, he wasn't only watching her, but he was admiring the way the sun lightened her hair and made her eyes gleam. How had he gotten so lucky? It was at that moment that she turned her head, meeting his gaze. Caught, he strolled over.

"Somethin' catch your eye, Shortcake?"

She looked up at the sign again and then back at him, questioningly. He looked up too, and read.

"A _fortune teller_?" he said, sardonically.

"Why not?" she beamed. "It might be fun."

"Puh-lease. They gather information about you as they go and pretend to be tellin' you your future. It's a scam to get your money."

"And you would know all about scams like that, right?" she teased.

He narrowed his eyes. "Har har."

"Come on. What's the worst that could happen?"

He sighed. "All right, fine."

They walked into the tent and found a woman with dark curls sitting at a table, hovering over it. She dressed in a loose white blouse and a long, purple skirt – true to Esmeralda's character in "Hunchback of Notre Dame". Kate glanced up at Sawyer and saw him staring cynically.

"If you don't believe in the power of foreseeing then you should not be in this tent," the woman said, staring at Sawyer.

"Did I say anything?" he said glaringly.

This time, she was staring at _him_ cynically. "If you must question me, then leave now."

"Calm down, lady. I ain't goin' nowhere."

Now she turned to Kate. "Do not apologize for his misjudgment."

Kate stared, stunned and opened her mouth to speak. However, she realized this woman was right. In her mind, she _was_ apologizing for Sawyer's rude behavior. They each took seats across from "Esmeralda".

"What's your price?" Sawyer asked.

"Twenty dollars."

He handed her the money and she tucked it in a pouch she wore on her hip. When she looked up again, it was at Kate and she held out an open palm.

"Your hand."

Kate looked at her cautiously, and placed her hand in the woman's. She instantly felt pressure as the woman squeezed and rubbed, traced and studied.

"Ahhh," the woman started softly. "You have quite a past, m'dear."

Kate flushed and looked down briefly.

"But so does he," the woman nodded at Sawyer, who grunted. She paused for a long time, before speaking again: "You can't blame yourself for the past, m'dear. What happened wasn't your fault."

Kate's eyes were glued to the woman. Sawyer watched in disbelief. She couldn't possibly believe in this, could she?

"Hmm...February…" she said, glancing at Kate's stomach. "Mmhmm..."

Kate's brow creased and she glanced at Sawyer, who was only shaking his head. She looked back at the fortune teller, eager to hear more. The woman's expression changed now as she released Kate's hand and peered into her crystal ball. She looked distressed. The woman leaned forward, her jewelry jingling. She glanced back and forth between her and Sawyer for a moment, finally resting her wide eyes on Kate.

"My ball has clouded. I cannot tell you anything more."

"What?!" Sawyer and Kate said in unison.

She said nothing else, only continued to stare at Kate, and Kate stared back.

"All right. I've had enough of this bull puckey," Sawyer said, standing up. "Let's get out of here, Freckles."

Kate nodded slowly and they both stood. Sawyer turned to leave, but Kate remained for a moment longer.

"I can only tell you this, child. With every death, comes new life," she said in a low, hoarse voice.

"What?" Kate said, with a nervous laugh.

"C'mon, Freckles."

Her eyes remained locked on the woman's as she followed Sawyer out. She stepped into the fresh air and breathed, unsteadily.

"Hey. You don't believe all that junk, do you?"

Kate swallowed, and forced herself to look up at him. "No. Of course not."

"Good. 'Cause it wasn't nothin' but a waste of twenty bucks."

She nodded. "Maybe…we should start to head back now."

"You serious?"

"I'm just suddenly not feeling so well again. I think I might be getting sick again."

"Don't sit and think on it, Freckles. That lady was just yankin' your chain."

"No. I know. I just…want to go home now."

He stared at her for a moment, and sighed. "If you're sure."

She nodded. "Yeah. It's getting darker already anyway."

Sawyer nodded too, and they started to walk, silently to the entrance of the park. Kate couldn't help pondering what the woman had said. It was all too true to be a scam…


	18. Chapter 18

Quickie:

**I LOVE LOST!!!** - I'm glad you like it. Thanks for the continuing patronage. ;-)  
**Tell you all what - **I'm not answering any questions in reference to the fortune teller's reading.  
**SassyLostie** - Oh wow. You were the only one who thought _past_ death. Sorry to say though it's not that.  
Crap. Did I just contradict myself? Very well I contradict myself. My bad...

Anyway, as you can see I've been consistant with the "every two days" updates. Hopefully it's not killing anyone out there. I'd hate to have blood on my hands. (It just doesn't go with my ensemble! lmao I'm kidding, in case you didn't know.)

**Chapter 18**

The drive home was excruciatingly silent. The only sound that could be heard was the low humming of the radio which Sawyer had turned on, frustrated with the quietness. Kate stared out the window, watching the world pass her by, still stuck on the old woman's words. How was it that she could know so much, when Kate had said so little? It was possible that it was a scam, as Sawyer had said, but there was one thing that bothered her – one thing that the woman couldn't have heard on the news, as she could have with everything else.

"How did she know?" she said, turning to Sawyer.

"Know what?" he said dully, his eyes glued to the road ahead of him.

"How could she know about…the baby?" she said, feeling uncomfortable saying the words aloud. "She said 'February'."

Sawyer shrugged. "My aunt's gotta sense for when a woman's pregnant. She can tell even when it ain't been two months. Maybe this lady's got the same gift."

"Maybe," she replied softly.

"Don't let it bother you, Freckles."

"But how would she know the month?"

"That coulda been a simple guess. She saw your eyes get big when she said it, and that's probably how she knew she was right."

Kate nodded quietly. He could be right. Everything he'd said solved the mystery. But for some reason, it still didn't satisfy her.

"The last thing she said – 'With every death comes a new life'? What is that supposed to mean? Why did she say that?"

"To get you to believe. Make you think you spent good money!"

She laughed bitterly. "Oh yeah. That fortune was well worth the twenty dollars."

"_You_ wanted to go," he reminded her.

She looked down at the floor mat. It was dotted with dirt.

"She could've been talking about the baby."

He glanced at her, wishing she'd drop the subject already. She sighed, and stared at him, then back down at the floor.

"Maybe it's not meant to be," she said quietly. "Maybe we should just get rid it."

"What the hell are you talkin' about?"

"I don't know."

"Don't even think like that."

She leaned her head against the glass window, sighing. "I just…"

"You just what? You wanna give all that up over some stupid woman dressed like a gypsy who thinks she knows you?!" he spat. "She don't know the first thing about you. She don't know anything you been through!"

"What does that have to do with – "

"The point is she's a dumb hag. Every word outta her mouth wasn't nothin' but lies."

"How are you so sure of yourself?"

He sighed. "Because she was fortune tellin' in _Disneyland._ It don't take Doc to figure that one out."

She smiled. "You're right. It's stupid."

"Thank you."

"It's just that…"

He stared at her through narrowed eyes. She smiled again.

"Okay fine. We won't talk about it anymore."

"No, say what you wanna say. Get it all outta your system now."

"When she said that I shouldn't blame myself for the past…I was thinking about my mother. Which wasn't really my fault, but I've always felt it. And I was also thinking of…you."

"Me?"

She looked away from him. "You know as well as I do everything we've been through."

"And you blame yourself for some of that?"

"Well…"

He stopped, thankful for the stoplight, and turned his head to face her. His eyes were serious.

"Don't ever blame yourself for anything that might've happened with us, Freckles," he said, sincerely.

She stared back at him, gratefully.

After a short silence he added, "We either share the blame, or blame someone else."

She grinned. "I knew you'd say that."

He dimpled and drove through the green light. "So we good?"

"Yeah. We're good."

For the rest of the drive home, Kate watched the dim moon follow them back to Charlie and Claire's apartment, realizing Sawyer was right. The future didn't matter. They lived in the now. She realized how thankful she was to have him in her life, and were he not driving, she would have let him know just how much...

The sky was dark black and sprinkled with stars by the time they reached the apartment building. They pulled into the parking lot, and Kate got out of the car, the white rabbit in her arm. Sawyer grabbed the wolf she left behind from the seat and followed her up to the apartment. When they got in, they found Charlie and Claire in the living room with Aaron.

"Kay!" Aaron loudly greeted.

Kate instantly smiled. "Hi Aaron."

"Hey," Claire also greeted. "How was your day?"

"It was great. A lot of fun."

"Kay, toy!" Aaron interrupted, pointing to the rabbit.

"Oh. Sawyer won this for me," she said proudly, her grin widening.

"Sawr?" Aaron asked.

She laughed, and pointed to Sawyer. "Yeah. _Sawyer_."

"Toy!" he said as he looked at Sawyer now.

"Oh," Sawyer looked down at the wolf. He leaned over and handed it to Aaron. "Here you go, bud."

Aaron took it and looked at it with a fascination. Then he held it up for Sawyer to look at again.

"What is it?" he asked, each word clear for a change.

"Well, it's a wolf," Sawyer explained.

"Woof?"

"Here look," Charlie showed him, taking the wolf. "Grrr!"

"Grrr!" Aaron mimicked.

Claire smiled. "Thank you Sawyer."

He looked at her, bashfully. "Well uh, I didn't really…_Kate_ was the one who got that one…"

Claire only smiled.

"So where did you two run off to today that you didn't get in until now?" Charlie asked.

Kate and Sawyer sat down on the armchairs across from them.

"Actually, Sawyer took me to Disneyland."

"Really?" Charlie said, surprised. "Wow."

"That's so sweet," Claire agreed.

"Yeah. It was…" she said, looking up at Sawyer with a small smile.


	19. Chapter 19

Quickie: 

**bonboni** - Kate is roughly...8 weeks right now. And Aaron is...2 years old.  
**SassyLostie** - Well hey. A death can mean anyone. So never rule out - or rule only - one person.  
**Mathildou** - "If Sawyer weren't there, what would Kate do?!" Go whine to Jack.

**Chapter 19**

Before anyone could even think to blink, the week had passed by. It became the night before the wedding and the bride and groom were predictably apart, each attending their own party. It was the first time in a long time that Kate and Sawyer had been separated from each other. Sawyer was to go off with Charlie to a pub to have the traditional bachelor party – something he tried to argue his way out of, but failed miserably.

Kate was coerced into attending Claire's wedding shower. The shower was held at a party rental building, in one large room reserved to them. One corner was dedicated to the children's play area where Aaron joined Sun's daughter Mai, Karen's daughter Megan, and Claire's nieces. While the women chatted incessantly, Kate sat at one of the tables in the back, wishing she was drinking something stronger than the fruit punch she held.

She was still pondering the fortune teller's words, even though it had been days ago. She couldn't figure out that last phrase. 'With every death there is new life.' What did it mean? She was certain it had to do with the baby. But did that mean it was going to kill her? Would it kill Sawyer? Would it kill itself? She didn't think she could bear to lose another child. Not when she'd grown so fond of the idea. God, how she wished her drink was more than juice…

Unexpectedly, Sun joined her. It seemed she was enjoying the party just as much as Kate was.

"Hello, Kate."

"Hi Sun."

"How are you doing?"

"I'm fine, thanks."

"Why are you sitting all alone?" she asked, concerned.

Kate smiled. "I'm not much of a party person."

Sun nodded, smiling. "I'm not much of one either. But I wouldn't miss this for the world."

"Yeah."

"How is Sawyer?"

"He's good. Probably having a better time right now," she laughed. "Kind of wish I were there instead of here."

"Yeah. I almost wish I was with Jin too. But I am happy for Claire," Sun said with a sweet smile. "And Charlie."

"Yeah."

"Do you think we'll be sitting together at the wedding?"

"I don't know. I hope so."

Sun smiled. "I hope so too."

They were quiet for a few minutes. Kate's gaze drifted toward the children. She watched Aaron making his wolf growl at the kids, the wolf which he wouldn't let out of his sight. She began to watch Mai, after a moment. She studied the four-year-old's features – her long, shiny black hair that was pushed back with a pink headband, her light brown almond-shaped eyes that stood out against her milky skin, and a smile that could light up the room. She truly was a beautiful child.

"Have you enrolled Mai in preschool yet?" Kate asked, suddenly.

Sun was slightly taken aback by the question. "Yes. She'll be graduating in a month now. But she prefers her dance class to it."

Kate smiled. "She dances?"

Sun nodded. "She wants to be a ballerina."

"That's sweet. She's really a beautiful girl."

"Thank you." After a pause, Sun cocked her head to the side and glanced sideways at Kate. "Have you…thought about having children?"

Kate felt that familiar twinge in her stomach. She thought for a moment, wondering whether or not she could tell Sun. She almost felt obligated to. However, just as she decided she would, she remembered the pact she and Sawyer had made.

"No," she said, finally. "At least…not yet."

* * *

Sawyer sat at the far end of the bar ordering a scotch as the party continued without him. For the first fifteen minutes he'd been okay. He talked with all of his old island "friends". He even greeted Jack in as kind a manner as he could. But once Charlie started to go into stories of his band, he pulled away from the group for a stronger drink. However, his almost-paradise didn't last as long as he would've liked it to. The crowd started to break up as some went to play pool, and some conversed. To his surprise, Jack sat down with him and ordered the same drink.

"Having fun?" he asked.

"Golly. I'm havin' the time of my life," Sawyer answered sarcastically.

"Well," Jack started. "Maybe if you put a little effort into it…"

"No offense, Doc, but I was doin' just fine by myself."

"Yeah. I could tell. That's why I came over here. You should at least try and be a part of this. For Charlie's sake."

Sawyer's only response was downing the last of his drink.

Jack shrugged and grinned. "Can't say I didn't try, right?"

"Nope," Sawyer smirked. After a pause, he said, "How's Ally?"

"Good. You'll see her. She's coming to the wedding."

"Oh just dandy," Sawyer said, gesturing to the bartender for another shot.

"How's Kate?"

"Fine."

"Just fine?"

"She's _good_," he said, mockingly.

"Are things with you – "

"Better than ever. Just went to Disneyland this past week."

"Disneyland?" Jack raised his eyebrows.

"Yep."

"Hey Jack! Jack!" Charlie called. "We're going to play pool!"

Jack shook his head. "I'm all right, Charlie. You go ahead."

"Oh come on, Jack. Don't be a wanker!" Charlie pleaded.

"Come on, dude!" Hurley chimed in.

"What, you doctors don't play pool?" Sawyer said with a grin.

"What?" he said with a laugh.

"C'mon, Jack-O," Sawyer stood. "Let's go play some pool!"

* * *

Kate was trying hard to participate in the party. All the women were in a circle now as Claire opened gifts. Most of the women were drunk, or nearly there. Kate was unhappy that she was one of the more sober ones, even though she had snuck three glasses of wine. It wasn't enough to classify her as drunk – at least not in the crowd she was in. Even Claire was already well beyond her drinking limit.

"Oh come on. I'm not going to wear this!" she shouted in her heavy accent, holding a set of lingerie.

"Oh yes you will," said another in an equally heavy accent. "What do you think you're going to be doing the night of your wedding!? Playing checkers?"

The room erupted in laughter and giggles. Kate smiled, trying to hide her boredom. These types of parties just weren't her scene. Sun had already left her to take Mai back to their hotel room to sleep for the night. She said she'd come back, but it had been an hour since she'd gone. The rest of the children were taken out of the room so they could sleep too, which made the room a lot more rowdy. In a few minutes, the circle had spread out and one of the girls sprang up from her seat, leaving the room in a rush.

"What's going on? Where is she going?" Claire asked.

"Oh hush now," her sister said. "We've got a special gift for you. You're going to love it!"

"All right girls!" said the girl, coming back. "Here they are!"

"They? No! What did you do!?" Claire shouted.

Kate, along with the rest of the girls, looked in the direction of the door. In came two handsome firemen. There was a massive amount of screaming from the women as music started to play. Kate realized this for what it was – a strip tease.

"No!!" Claire shouted, laughing. "No, I told you no strippers!"

"Oh live a little, Claire!"

Kate couldn't help but smile as the men started to dance and remove their jackets. She even found herself laughing with the rest of the women. Claire's face turned three shades of red as they took their shirts off while they danced around her. She buried her face in her hands, shaking her head. Kate laughed. The men separated and danced around all the women.

Kate found herself staring up at one of them, and it was her turn to flush. She couldn't deny that the man had a nicely built body. She tried to contain herself by staring up into the man's eyes. They were a deep entrancing blue. They reminded her of someone. She thought for a moment, then realized they were exactly like Damien's eyes. She forced herself to look away, but made the mistake of looking up at him again and saw Damien's face.

She found herself gasping for breath suddenly. She got up and ran for the door, ignoring Claire's call for her. She leaned against the wall in the hallway, her eyes closed. After a few minutes, she caught her breath. She didn't want to go back in, however. She couldn't. It was no surprise that Sun chose this moment to show up again.

"Kate? Are you all right?"

She opened her eyes. "I'm fine. I just needed to get some air."

"Oh. If you're sure…"

She nodded. "You're going back in?"

"I was going to. But it sounds so loud in there now."

Kate nodded with a laugh. "They brought in strippers."

Sun laughed too. "Maybe I will wait out here. Jin might disapprove."

Kate smiled. "I was actually thinking of going to find the guys, if you wanted to come."

"Do you know where they are?"

Kate smiled, wryly. "I think I have an idea..."


	20. Chapter 20

Quickie:

**bonboni** - She had 3 glasses of wine. What do _you _think?  
**xox-emily-xox** - It was _not _Damien. Trick of the mind/eye.

I'm always so insecure about Kate's character in this chapter. Prove me right or wrong in my feelings.

**Chapter 20**

Kate pulled into the parking lot of the bar she'd assumed the men would be in, according to what she'd overheard Charlie saying. She and Sun had been making small talk throughout the ride there. Sun had quieted though, once they pulled into the lot. It was most likely because of her nerves.

"Have you ever crashed a Bachelor's party before?" Sun asked Kate.

"No. Have you?"

"No."

They both laughed.

"I'm not sure if I should be scared of what we might find inside," Sun said seriously.

Kate laughed. "I don't know. Charlie's a pretty respectable guy."

"Is he?"

Kate thought for a moment. Charlie did have an unfortunate past. But…so did everyone these days. And he had taken responsibility for his actions.

"Yeah. And so is Jin," she reminded Sun.

Sun's expression eased and Kate knew that her last words had the right affect. She unlatched her seatbelt.

"Come on," she said. "Let's go find them."

Kate and Sun entered the bar. It was quiet and there were only a few men there whose heads turned upon Kate and Sun's entrance. Kate looked around for a minute, her eyebrows creased. She could've sworn this was the place Charlie had said.

"Something I can help you ladies with?" the bartender called.

Kate and Sun exchanged glances, and went to the bar.

"Do you know if there's a bachelor party here?" Kate asked, hesitantly.

"Yeah. You two the strippers?"

"Strippers?" Sun asked, both surprised and appalled.

The bartender came around the bar and took them both by their arms.

"Right this way," he said, leading them to a door where they could hear the shouting of men and loud music.

"But we're not…" Kate tried.

"Right in here," he said, shoving them in and closing the door behind them.

She and Sun exchanged confused glances. No one had noticed anything. They looked around, watching. Kate instantly spotted Sawyer playing pool with Jack, Charlie, Hurley, and another man that she didn't know, and wearing a smirk. She knew just by that smile that he was winning. And he most likely wasn't letting anyone forget it, judging by the annoyed expression Jack wore.

"Sun!" Jin looked up from the bar in surprise.

She looked at Kate, who smiled and nodded in allowance, then went over to him. They were lost in their Korean language after that.

"Oy! What're you doing here!? No gals allowed!" shouted the man playing pool, having spotted Kate.

All of the men around the table looked up and saw her at the door. They all looked surprised, with the exception of Sawyer who looked rather intrigued. She looked at him, raising her eyebrows as her mouth formed into a guilty grin. He raised his cue and stood for a moment, just gazing. He handed the cue to Jack, who stared at him.

"I'll be right back."

He started to walk over to her and she met him halfway.

"What do you think you're doin' here, Freckles?"

She grinned, wryly. "Came to join the party."

"This is a _bachelor_'s party!" the man shouted again.

"Oh shut up, Liam!" Charlie said to him, loudly.

"Hey Charlie," she called, smiling as she walked over to the pool table.

Sawyer watched her, stunned. "Unbelievable," he muttered to himself.

"I thought you and Claire agreed no strippers?" she teased.

"What?" he said, looking surprised. "I didn't hire any."

"Oh, well the bartender out there thought Sun and I were the strippers. I don't know why he'd say that."

"_I_ didn't get any."

Sawyer turned walking away toward the bar. Kate looked at Jack and saw eyes moving. She turned around, catching Sawyer trying to escape.

"Hey!" she called to him.

He turned around, his eyes narrowed.

"Where you going?" she asked.

"I was _goin_' to get another drink."

She studied his expression for a moment and finally noticed he was repressing a smirk. She raised her eyebrows and her smile faltered.

"_You_ hired the strippers?!"

He didn't say anything, but he didn't have to. His smirk said it all.

She stared, shocked. "Real nice Sawyer."

"Oh come on, Freckles. What's a Bachelor's Party without naked girls?" he teased. "I mean if we all weren't stuck here, we'd probably be at home with our girls, in bed. Am I right?" he shouted to the room.

"YEAH!" all the men agreed.

She looked around at all of them, noticing even Jack laughing. She stared at Sawyer again, who was smiling proudly. Too proudly, as a matter of fact.

"Naked girls, huh?" she said with a mischievous grin.

She nodded and walked away from him, over to the bar where several of the men were taking tequila shots. His smile lessened a bit, as he watched her curiously. She grabbed a shot glass filled with tequila and downed it. Sawyer's grin was gone now, and his anger level rose.

"Son of a bitch…" he said under his breath.

"Hey bartender! Can I get a change of music?" she shouted, and turned around staring at Sawyer again with a spiteful look.

The music started and she stood on top of the bar. The men went wild with shouting and cheering. Sun stared up, appalled, raising her hand to her mouth. She couldn't believe she was seeing such behavior from Kate. After seeing the glare in Sawyer's eyes, she knew that no good would come of it. She urged Jin to leave, and they did. Jack quickly came around the table and stood at Sawyer's side.

"She's had too much to drink," he informed Sawyer, quietly and concerned. "I could tell just by her eyes when she came in."

Sawyer stared at him, shocked, then stared back at her wildly. She was starting to move slowly with the music, unbuttoning her blouse teasingly. Sawyer was thankful that she had a tank top underneath the blouse. He stared around the room and noticed all the men were watching her now. He couldn't let it go on. When the blouse was off and flew into the crowd, he put his foot down and went over to her.

"That's enough, Freckles," he hissed.

"I thought this is what you wanted?" she shouted, grinning.

He grabbed her arm and pulled her down from the counter.

"You know damn well it ain't," he said quietly. He glared at all the men. "SHOW'S OVER!"

"Let go of me, Sawyer," she said angrily.

"Time to go," he said, taking a firm hold of her wrist and pulling her toward the door.

She pulled back sharply, freeing her wrist. He turned around, staring at her with his eyebrows lowered. She started to walk away from him but he grabbed her arm again. When she tried to get away again, he lifted her up and carried her out over his shoulder, ignoring her protests. As they walked out of the bar, he grabbed her blouse from the man that was waving it in the air. He let her down only when they were outside and in the parking lot.

"What the hell is _wrong_ with you?' he shouted.

"What? Isn't that what you wanted?" she snapped, opening the door to the car.

"What in the hell made you think I wanted that?" he said, standing outside his door as she got in.

"Naked girls, right?"

He looked away from her, shaking his head in disgust.

"_You _had other women on their way to do the same thing! What does it matter who the woman was?"

"It just does!" he said, getting in the car and starting it. "Jesus…You gotta turn your jealousy into _that_?"

"Jealousy?" she laughed, looking away.

"Put your damn shirt back on," he said, tossing it at her.

She stared at him, glaringly as she buttoned the blouse up again. He gripped the steering wheel and stared away from her, but didn't take the car out of park just yet.

"What the hell gave you the right to drink? You know damn well you ain't supposed to be."

"I have every right to do what I want to."

"Not when you're carrying a kid, you don't."

She scoffed, and folded her arms, leaning back in the seat. She looked away from him again, out the window. He pulled out of the parking lot finally.

"Christ, Freckles."

She turned back to him. "You know, why don't you just say what's _really_ bothering you, Sawyer?"

He tightened his grip as he drove. "I don't know what you're talkin' about."

"I don't think my drinking has anything to do with why you're angry."

"Oh really…"

"So let's hear it."

He shook his head, his anger level increasing rapidly.

"Come on, Sawyer. Tell me," she urged.

He breathed in, long and hard. She wasn't rational enough, he reminded himself. She was still drunk, as normal as she might have sounded.

"Well?"

"JUST DROP IT!" he snapped.

They drove silently back to the apartment that was, thankfully, empty. And so it would be for the rest of the night. Charlie was staying at his brother's that night and Claire at her sister's with the rest of the bridesmaids. Kate had been invited, but the night had obviously taken its turn.

While Kate retreated to their room, Sawyer went into the kitchen to get her a glass of water. He found her sitting on the bed, her knees against her shirtless chest, wearing only her bra. Probably the affects of the alcohol, he'd assumed.

"Here," he handed her the glass. "It'll help."

She stared at it, then back up at him. "I don't want that."

"Just drink it," he shoved it in her hands, annoyed.

"Why won't you tell me what's got you so mad?"

He sighed and walked over to the sliding door, peering out.

"Because you're _drunk_, sweet cheeks."

"Don't make up excuses," she said, getting up walking to him.

"I'm NOT!"

"Now you're stalling."

"God…WOULD YOU JUST FORGET IT!?"

"WHY!?"

"BECAUSE I DON'T WANT THEM LOOKIN' AT YOU LIKE THAT!" he shouted as he whipped around. He sighed, taking out his package of cigarettes. "You know you…you think you can just…"

"What?"

"You get up there…and you start takin' your clothes off…" he paused, taking a long drag of the cigarette. "I ain't gonna sit back and watch all them…watchin' you. _Lookin'_ at you. I don't _want_ them lookin' at you. You ain't theirs to look at."

"Oh so you own me now?"

"I didn't _say_ that!" he said, frustrated.

She shook her head and went back into the bed, lying curled on her side now, her back facing him. He opened the sliding door to the deck, letting the smoke out of the room. Kate instantly pulled the blankets over her.

"You stand up there and you do that and next thing you know they'll all be grabbin' at you and tryin' to get in your pants."

She said nothing, but he heard her breathing. He took another drag of the cigarette and exhaled a long stream of smoke out the door. The room was silent for a few minutes, and Sawyer had been certain she'd fallen asleep. He tossed the finished cigarette over the ledge of the balcony, and watched it until it was gone. He went back into the room closing the door, but still staring out it.

"I'm sorry," Kate said quietly, almost startling him.

He turned around and walked slowly over to the bed, sitting on it. She didn't turn over to face him. He looked down at her and pulled back the bits of hair that were in her face, tucking them behind her ear.

"I know," he murmured.

In a few minutes, she was out. Unfortunately, he knew she wouldn't remember anything when she woke.


	21. Chapter 21

Quickie:

**SassyLostie/bonboni/Mathildou/xox-emily-xox** - Thank you for reassuring me. I wasn't sure if she was written well or not, but I felt like it was suitable for the situation. I was just worried because she's Kate, and wasn't sure it was something she'd do. But thank you for letting me know if was okay. That makes me feel a lot better. :)

So...I'm review hungry. Feed me!! (Ew and it's a horrible chapter to be putting up for no reason. Ugh. Sorry guys.)

**Chapter 21**

Kate woke up the next morning, her head aching. She opened her eyes and saw a glass of water and two small white pills on the nightstand beside her. Confused, she sat up. The covers dropped and she noticed her shirt was missing. Shivering from the central air conditioning, she pulled the covers around her again. She realized quickly that her headache – and most likely the loss of her shirt - was the result of a hangover. She wondered where Sawyer had gone and what had happened last night. She remembered walking into the bar and seeing him playing pool but everything after that was a blur.

Why had she let herself drink? She remembered she'd told herself, _It's only one glass,_ as she poured the wine. And…then she downed the whole thing in a matter of five minutes. She'd done the same with the second glass, but by the third, she'd forgotten her guilt. That was most likely why she was feeling the guilt pounding in her head right now. She shouldn't have been drinking. She knew she shouldn't have and she did anyway. What if it hurt - or worse, _killed_ her child?

A faint knock interrupted her thoughts. The door opened and Sawyer walked in, looking tired and a mess. He looked at her for a moment, and then glanced away. Something about this troubled Kate.

"Hey," she said, softly.

"Hey yourself," he said.

He moaned and sat at the foot of the bed, his head hanging low. She cocked her head to the side, watching him hesitantly.

"You okay?"

"Hangover," he explained. "It'll wear off."

She nodded. He turned halfway around to face her. She knew just by his eyes something wasn't right.

"What about you? How you holdin' up?"

She shrugged. "It'll wear off," she smiled.

He didn't smile back. He nodded and proceeded to look away from her again. After taking the two pills, she wrapped the covers around her tighter and maneuvered herself next to him at the base of the bed. He stared at her.

"What happened last night, Sawyer?"

"You don't remember?" Before she could answer, he added, "Of course you don't remember."

Her eyebrows lowered in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"You drank a little. That's all."

"A little?" she laughed. "I don't think a little gives you a hangover."

"So you drank a lot."

"Sawyer," she put her hand on his arm. "Why are you mad at me?"

"I'm not – "

"Disappointed?"

He sighed. "It doesn't matter. You didn't know what you were doin'."

"What was I doing?"

He grinned, suddenly. "Dancin'."

She raised an eyebrow. "Dancing?" she repeated.

"On top of the bar."

She turned her head and thought. The bar…Oh! She'd gone to the bar to find Sawyer. At the bachelor's party. Wait. She was dancing on the bar?! She looked at him uncertainly.

"Not only that," he went on. "You were givin' the whole party a striptease."

Her eyes widened and she blinked furiously. Sawyer grinned, satisfactorily. She could tell it gave him real pleasure to inform her of how she embarrassed herself. She raised a hand to her forehead, grinning.

"You're kidding, right?"

He smirked. "You're lucky I stopped you before your shirt came off."

She lowered her hand and looked at him, eyebrows raised. She groaned and let her head fall onto his shoulder.

"I can't believe I did that," she laughed.

"Yeah, well…you were drunk."

Her grin faded. "I shouldn't have been."

"No," he agreed, the playfulness in his voice now gone.

She looked up at him, sincerely. "I'm sorry."

Sawyer turned his head, gazing at her. He put his arm around her, pulling her close.

"It's all right."

She lifted her head and leaned closer to kiss him, slowly and passionately. He slid the covers down her shoulders and turned her around, lowering her into the bed. As he slid his hands teasingly up the sides of her body, she pressed her hands against his chest, forcing him to stop. She smiled.

"We have a wedding to get to," she reminded him.

He sighed and rolled off her and onto his back. "We _gotta_ go?"

She rolled her eyes, then sat up and looked at the clock on the nightstand. They had only hours until the wedding. She realized she shouldn't have been at the apartment, and immediately got up to put her shirt back on.

"Where you runnin' to?" Sawyer asked, watching her.

"I'm supposed to be with Claire at the church, getting ready," she told him. "And I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to be here either."

He folded his hands behind his head. "Who says I gotta go get ready with Charlie-Brown and the gang? I got all my stuff here."

She sat on the bed again, tying her shoes. "It's the principle of the thing, Sawyer."

"Whatever."

"Just like the suit," she muttered, standing up.

"What's that s'posed to mean?"

She turned facing Sawyer and they stared at each other challengingly. She finally broke her gaze and walked to the door. He followed her with his eyes. As she grabbed the knob and pulled the door open, she stopped for a moment.

"Do what you want, Sawyer," she said without looking at him. "You'll do it anyway…"

The door closed and he was left alone in the room. He listened until she was gone, then got up to go find something to drink in the kitchen. All the while, he pondered her last words. He didn't _have_ to go with all the men to get ready if he didn't want to. This was one fight he wouldn't let her win. He had to save _some_ of his dignity. Besides, he could get ready by himself. What was the point of going somewhere else to get dressed, anyway? To have a big party and fuss over each other? _Let the girls do that_, he thought to himself.


	22. Chapter 22

Quickie:

Wow. I got a lot of reviews out of that one. Go figure...

**bonboni** - I guess you'll find out, huh?  
**sivan** - Sawyer was mad at the combination of her drinking while being pregnant and giving a drunken strip tease. I mean that's HIS girlfriend! Would you want other girls/guys looking at _your _boyfriend/girlfriend? Oh. And D'OH! You caught me! I actually forgot all about that. Reckon that's why in the first chapter when I listed the characters I put Johanna there. Whoops! Good eye though. Now I have to find a place for that...

Um...it's fiction. So sue me.

**Chapter 22**

With the hours just counting down until the ceremony, the women were rushing around putting their makeup on and making sure their hairdos would stay, fastening clasps and zippering zippers, tying ribbons, and buckling buckles. It was beginning to be too much for Kate. She knew she wasn't cut out for this sort of thing – a big grand wedding, with matching dresses, and flowers, and this and that. She had to sit down and catch her breath even though she hadn't even been the one rushing. The whole wedding idea was making her claustrophobic.

Then again, that could have just been the pregnancy kicking in again. She was fortunate enough to have not had morning sickness yet. And she hoped that it would stay that way for the rest of the day, for Claire's sake, if not her own. She could only imagine the horror of disrupting the ceremony to leave and get sick.

A knock on the door interrupted the "getting-ready" process and flustered all the women. They were all panicking wondering who was at the door, if it was Charlie and they had to send him away. Claire's sister wound up being the one to answer it. Kate watched her from her seat. She closed the door and walked over to Kate, her face slightly pink.

"There's a really gorgeous man out there asking for you," she smiled.

Kate rolled her eyes and smiled. She got up and left the room, expecting to see Sawyer waiting for her. Instead, Jack turned around, a stunned expression on his face. She looked down, hiding her flushed face. She knew his expression was courtesy of her appearance. When she looked up again, she smiled.

"Hey Kate," he smiled too, hesitantly at first.

"Hey yourself."

They embraced. He smelled good, she realized. And he looked good in his tux. He led her to a wooden bench in the hallway and they sat.

"How have you been?" he asked.

"Great. What about you?"

"I'm good," he nodded. "Good."

She wanted to laugh at his behavior. If this was his reaction, she wondered how Sawyer would act.

"I just…wanted to say 'hi' before this whole thing started. Catch up."

She laughed, and said teasingly, "Hi, Jack."

He laughed too. They sat for a moment, quietly smiling at each other.

"You look good," she told him.

His face turned pink and he smiled. "Thanks. You look really…you look amazing."

She looked down, grinning, then back up at him. "Thanks."

"How's Sawyer doing?"

"Same. Allison?"

"She's good. She's here too."

"Oh, she is? Where is she?" Kate said, looking around.

"She's with Sawyer."

Kate was quiet for a moment, then said, "Oh."

"So…" he looked down for a moment. When he looked back up, his eyebrows furrowed. "How _are_ you, Kate?"

She stared at him, confused. But before he could speak she realized what he was talking about.

"He told you?" she asked softly, in disbelief.

"It's not a big deal, Kate. I mean, I'm a doctor. And maybe he thought – "

"Kate?" Claire's sister called from the door.

Kate and Jack both turned and looked.

"Claire's asking for you."

"I'll be right there," Kate nodded.

The door closed again and they both looked to the floor.

"Look, Kate, I'm sorry. I wouldn't have – "

"No, it's fine," she assured him. "It doesn't matter."

She got up, and he did too. She put on a smile, to add to her assurance.

"Well if you ever need anything," he started.

"I'll be fine, Jack," she promised him. "I'll see you on the isle?"

"Okay," he agreed.

She kissed him on the cheek and went back into the room. The women were gathered, no longer rushing but now talking and waiting. Claire was in a separate room, waiting for Kate. Kate knocked, and entered.

"Hey," she smiled.

"Hey Kate," Claire smiled too.

"Getting nervous yet?"

Claire laughed. "My stomach is churning."

Kate beamed. "You look great."

"Thanks. You do too."

Kate looked down, barely accepting the compliment.

"So, I have a favor to ask you. And I know it's _really_ last minute, but you can say no, if you want to."

"Sure."

"Charlie and I haven't found a babysitter for Aaron for our honeymoon. And Aaron's become so fond of you and Sawyer…I was just wondering if, maybe…"

Kate's expression melted into a grimacing frown.

"It's only for four days. We'd be back on the fifth for him," Claire added.

"I can't," Kate said, regrettably.

"It would mean so much…"

"I really can't, Claire. I don't know the first thing about kids," she said with a nervous laugh.

"Which is why it would be great practice for you!"

"Sawyer would kill me if – "

"He'll understand."

"I…" Kate trailed, out of ideas.

"Aaron really does like you guys. Please, Kate?"

Kate opened her mouth to say something but then closed it again. She _would have_ said 'yes' had she not had to factor Sawyer into the equation. Then again…he _did_ tell Jack when they both agreed they weren't going to tell anyone other than Charlie and Claire. Having Aaron for a few days could serve as a payback of sorts…

"I don't see why not," Kate said finally.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sure Sawyer won't mind, right?" she smiled.

Kate smiled to herself. "I'm sure Sawyer will enjoy Aaron's company. He's grown fond of him too," she lied.

"Okay. Thank you so much, Kate," Claire said, hugging her. "It means a lot, really."

"You're welcome."

"Okay. So, we're leaving the day after tomorrow. Do you want to stay at the apartment with him, or…"

Kate thought about this. She didn't want to be too harsh on Sawyer. She'd give him at least the comfort of his own home.

"I think it'd be best to go back to our house in Tennessee," she said, feeling strange after saying it.

"Okay. We'll fly back with you and leave from there then."

"Sounds good."

"Thank you again," Claire hugged her again. "You're a life saver."

"It's no problem, really."

Claire took a deep breath. "I guess it's time."

"You ready?"

Claire nodded and followed Kate out of the room.


	23. Chapter 23

Quickie:

**Mathildou** - Thank you very much. It's always nice to hear that I'm still doing good. I never know anymore. But thanks for the reassurance.  
**sivan** - Ok. On the topic of Sawyer's behavior: I hoped it was obvious that he was having some second thoughts about the child. Just an uneasy feeling after seeing her with Aaron. Secondly, when it comes to Jack already knowing: Just because he brought it up to her during the conversation doesn't mean that was the first he had heard of it. You're right, she told him over the phone already. But she had forgotten the fact, quite obviously, and leaves the blame on Sawyer. Got it? Or do I need to explain more?  
**SassyLostie** - Hehe. You're funny. Very bi-polar sounding in your review: Well, maybe it won't be so bad. But oh god she's going to HEAR IT! Hehe.

I love all of your reactions towards seeing Jack again, and towards Kate agreeing to babysit. It's highly amusing. I only wondered why you guys didn't think of Sawyer, and how much trouble HE should be in with Kate, no? wink

Hmm. So I guess since "Greatest Hits" aired, my info. is a bit off. Oh well. And ewwww...I'm so self-conscious about this chapter. Nevertheless...Enjoy!

**Chapter 23**

Sawyer sat in his seat next to Allison, anxious to get the show on the road. This ceremony was going to take forever, as far as he knew. And he wanted to get it over with as soon as possible. He'd lost interest in talking to Allison when she'd brought up Jack. _Jack was this, and Jack did that, and Jack says this, Jack, Jack, Jack._ It got old fast. She wanted to be in love with Jack? Fine. But he didn't need to know about it. He wished _Jack_ would show up sometime soon and shut her up.

"What's got you so quiet?" Allison asked.

"What's it to ya, Curly Sue?" he said, referring to her up-do of golden spiral curls.

She rolled her eyes. "You never used to be so quiet, you know."

He grunted.

"It's because of _her_ isn't it? You got quiet once you got involved with her."

"_Puh-lease._ I ain't quiet."

"It isn't something to be ashamed of," she teased. "In fact, it's actually a nice change. Instead of always having to hear your mouth."

"Ally, the only reason I'm bein' quiet is 'cause you're doin' all the talkin'."

"Because you won't say a word!"

"'Cause I don't like to talk about the Doc as much as you do!"

"Oh, so you're going to blame Jack now?"

"Y'see?" he smirked. "Can't go a minute without sayin' his name, can you?"

"Why does it bother you so much? What has he ever done to you?"

"He's done more than enough to me, cupcake. We ain't real fond of each other, in case you haven't noticed."

"No. But at least he tries, Sawyer. You just don't give a rat's ass."

"No. I don't."

"And that's why I'm with him and not you."

"Thank god for that."

"You know what? I – "

As luck would have it, the orchestra began and stopped Allison from finishing her thought. He smirked, and she sighed, looking up the isle and away from him. After a few chords, Liam's daughter Megan, the flower girl, started down the isle. Her dress seemed to follow her as she tossed the petals along her way. Aaron, the little ring bearer, tried his best to walk with the help of Claire's mom, as he brought forth the pillow with the rings. Next, a bridesmaid and her escort followed, smiling as they walked. They were followed by two more sets, and then came the "maid of honor" and "best man" – _Kate and Jack_.

Sawyer would have been irritated by that fact, had he not been mesmerized by Kate's appearance. Her flowing periwinkle dress brushed along the isle in folds. The color against her skin made her seem to glow. It fit snug against her curves, and formed a slight V at the neck, showing off a taunting amount of cleavage. The straps went up, halter-like and crisscrossed down her back. Her hair was swept up and parted to the side in a curly up-do. The simplicity of the dress was accented with a double-chained necklace scattered with jewels, and a bouquet of pink roses and lilies.

Sawyer couldn't take his eyes off of her. He'd never seen her in a dress before, and he had to admit it was something he regretted. He watched her part with Jack and take her place. She hadn't spotted him yet, he realized. She was focused on Claire, walking down the isle now, arm in arm with her father. He turned and forced himself to watch too, as she made it to the front and stood with Charlie in front of the priest.

Kate turned, but still glanced around, looking for Sawyer. She found Allison easily, quite noticeable in her bright red halter dress, and blonde curls. Figuring he had to be around there, she searched that particular area for Sawyer. He should have been somewhere around there. Then she realized he was sitting right _next_ to Allison. He half-grinned as he saw her eyes widen in shock. He wasn't wearing the suit! Instead he was wearing a tux. Well…almost a tux. He lacked the bowtie, but she didn't blame him. It probably would have looked ridiculous anyway. She stared at him incredulously. Black slacks, a white button down – of course he wouldn't be Sawyer if the first two or three buttons _weren't_ left undone – and a black jacket. He even had a white handkerchief in the pocket. She grinned at him, and he winked.

They ended their silent conversation between eyes and paid attention to the wedding again. Sawyer grinned to himself. It was all worth it just to see that face...

Soon time had passed. Charlie and Claire were making their vows.

"I always call it an accident that Claire and I met," Charlie started. "A good accident though. She happened to be pregnant with Aaron at the time. And she was having trouble getting her bags out from the parts of the plane it was stuck under. And since that first day I met her, I'd always tried to look out for her. Make sure she was all right. No one else did. No one else would. Everyone was scared of her, because she was pregnant – a time bomb of responsibility just waiting to go off, she called it. But I wasn't scared of her. I wanted to take care of her. Being stuck on an island with a baby is no day at the beach." He paused. "Sorry." He paused again letting everyone have a laugh. "We had been through a lot together on that island. And even though many bad things had happened, even though sometimes she probably wanted to _kill_ me, I never stopped loving her. She's this extraordinary woman who just lights up the room with her smile. She's got this beautiful personality…kind…gentle…_forgiving_…And throw in her astounding good looks…No one could ever compare with her." He took her hand and kissed it. "Claire, I love you. And I always will."

She nodded, tears streaming down her face. Kate snuck a glance over at Sawyer. He looked over at her too, and she looked away, sheepishly. She didn't want him to see her eyes starting to water too. It was Claire's turn now.

"The day I met Charlie, I knew he was a character. There was more to him than just the gentleman helping me with my stuff. There was a side of him that just hadn't shown itself yet. And at first, I thought I might hate him. I thought he'd be annoying, and just a member of some band that never lasted."

Everyone laughed, and Charlie pretended to look offended. Claire laughed too.

"But there _was_ more to him than just that. He was really this kind, caring man who was nothing but good to me. And yes, we had our bad spells but we got through them. And he was present at Aaron's birth, and played dad to him ever since. I couldn't be more grateful. He taught me things that I didn't know, and he made me realize that I'm not alone. He treats me with more kindness than any man had in the past. And I love him for it," she said softly, more tears pouring. She nodded. "I do. He is funny, and sweet, and even though sometimes he can upset me, I wouldn't want it any other way. I love you, Charlie."

She paused to look down and wipe her tears. Kate snuck another glance at Sawyer, unaware of the tears starting to fall from her own eyes. They stared at each other for a long time, the wedding around them suddenly forgotten. The words of the priest echoed and seemed to be far away. They knew that at that moment, they saw themselves up at the altar instead of Charlie and Claire. But he saw her vows in her eyes, and she in his. They didn't need words to express their love.

It wasn't until everyone stood and started to clap that they snapped out of their trance. Claire and Charlie were kissing, apparently having been pronounced 'husband and wife'. Kate smiled and joined the applause. Sawyer snapped out of it too and glanced around bewilderedly, clapping lightly.

The bride and groom walked down the isle, all smiles, followed by Kate and Jack, the bridesmaids, and the rest. Kate planned to wait for Sawyer to come outside afterward, but she was soon directed into a limousine with Jack, Claire's sister, Liam and the rest of the bridesmaids and men. She watched for Sawyer out the tinted window. He was talking with Allison when he came out. Actually, it was more like she was talking to him and he was looking around. She watched him turn and say something to Allison, which made her laugh. Then she said something to him and he stopped searching, giving in to talk to her.

"Anything interesting going on out there?" Jack asked.

Kate smiled and turned away from the window. "No."

"So, you hungry yet?"

"A little," she lied.

She was dining for two, these days. Of course she was hungry. Shouldn't Jack have known that?

"I saw Sawyer was well-dressed for a change. I'm guessing you did that."

"Surprisingly, no," she told him…


	24. Chapter 24

Quickie:

**LostSista** - Burlap sack? How about just nothing at all?...Hmm...did I just say that? Whoops. :)  
**xox-emily-xox** - "Greatest Hits" killed me too. I was bawling. And then in "Through the Looking Glass"...Dom's performance was just brilliant. sigh I don't know how I'll finish the PB&J fic I have going on now.

Hmm...

**Chapter 24**

When they got into the reception hall, Kate stood near the entrance looking around the room for Sawyer. Jack was already talking with Sayid and Jin while he waited for Allison to show up. Sun walked over to Kate, to say hello.

"You look beautiful, Kate," she said.

"Thanks." She smiled bashfully. "You do too."

Sun was wearing a crème colored floral dress that stopped at her ankles and had a V-shaped neckline. She donned a string of pearls around her neck and two clips held back her curled black hair.

"Where is Sawyer?" Sun asked.

"I'm beginning to wonder that myself."

"I'm sure he'll show up soon."

"Yeah."

Sun turned around. "Oh. Jin is calling me. I'll see you later."

"Bye," she said, smiling watching her go back to her husband.

Allison walked by her without as much as a 'hello'. Kate watched her saunter over to Jack and latch onto him. Kate rolled her eyes at the scene. Not much had changed.

"Reckon the guy who gets to take you home tonight's a pretty lucky man," someone said from behind her.

Recognizing the voice, she instantly grinned widely. When she turned around, there Sawyer, finally, was. He let his eyes travel her up and down.

"Well…lookit you."

She looked down, grinning. She suddenly felt shy around him, and couldn't figure out why.

"Look at _you_," she responded, looking up at him again.

He stretched his arms out and let them drop to his sides again, looking down at his attire.

"I thought you were wearing your suit?"

"Changed my mind."

"When did you even find time to get a tux?"

"While you and Goldilocks were out one day I went into town."

She nodded, studying him. "Looks good."

"Not as good as you."

She looked down, flushing. He took her hand and they started to walk toward their table.

"Lemme ask you somethin', Freckles," he said, eyeing her. "That dress…when you gotta give it back?"

She grinned slyly. "When I'm done with it."

He took hold of her arm, pulling her around and into his chest. He looked down at her with a smirk.

"_Good_."

They reached the table and Sawyer pulled a chair out for Kate. Slightly surprised, but grateful nonetheless, Kate sat.

"Thank you."

He winked. Just before sitting down, he glanced at the table and saw the place cards. There was one for him and Kate, _Allison_ and –

"Hey Jack," Kate said.

Sawyer looked up and saw Jack, Allison clinging to his arm. He sighed and sat down, reluctantly. If he ever found out who was in charge of seating, he'd make sure they knew just how big of a mistake they'd made.

"Well, ain't this somethin'," he remarked. "Whole family's here."

"Must be our lucky day," Allison retorted, sitting.

"Yeah. _Luck_."

As Jack and Allison settled at the table and engaged in conversation, Sawyer leaned over toward Kate.

"So how was it walkin' down the isle with Doc?" he murmured.

"Fine. Why?"

"Betcha you were picturin' you two gettin' hitched instead."

She grinned, and rolled her eyes. "Shut up."

"So when _were_ you gonna tell me you two were walkin' together?"

"Is that jealousy I hear?"

Sawyer backed off and looked away, unwilling to admit to it. Jack quickly included Kate into his and Allison's conversation, conveniently leaving Sawyer out. Instead of trying to insult his way into the conversation, he sat back and looked around the silver and pink decorated room. _Pink_…

He noticed the two empty seats beside him. He leaned over and read the place card of the seat next to him – _Ana-Lucia_. His heart jumped. _That_ could be a problem. He glanced at Kate, but she was still distracted by Jack and Allison. As sneakily as he could, he grabbed the place card and started slide his hand off the table. However, just as he started to slide it underneath the table, a hand caught his wrist. He looked up only to see Ana, her head cocked to the side, wearing a confused grin.

"You tryin' to get rid of me?"

He smirked. "What're you gonna do, shoot me?"

She sat down, smiling. "Careful, cowboy."

Kate looked over and saw Ana. Immediately she felt her stomach start to knot. She would've thought Claire would have known better. More importantly she hoped Sawyer would know better.

When Jack saw Kate frowning, he looked over too and realized why. He instantly turned white.

"Who's that?" Allison whispered.

"Ana-Lucia," Kate told her, quietly.

Allison's eyes widened with realization, then narrowed with immediate dislike. Ana looked at the three of them. Then she glanced at Sawyer, who raised his eyebrows.

"Looks like we're gonna have a real party here," she commented.

Sawyer looked back and forth between Jack, Allison, Ana and Kate. _Great_, he thought. _Just the three people I wanna be surrounded by_…


	25. Chapter 25

Quickie:

**bonboni** - Filled with Skate indeed. After all, this _is _a Skate story.  
**SassyLostie** - Oh lordy. More angsty? And I thought _I_ was writing a soap opera:)  
**xox-emily-xox** - "You have a great mind!"/ Well thank you. I like to think I do too. And I will _try _to work on PB&J. But it's going to be hard at first. Still getting over my beloved's departure. sniffles

Eeps! I'm getting to be so greedy for reviews and giving too many chapters. But you guys are just such amazing reviewers.

**Chapter 25**

"Hi…everyone," Ana greeted awkwardly.

"Hi Ana," Jack said quietly.

Kate looked down at her plate, unwilling to even look at Ana-Lucia. Ana glanced at her. She didn't expect Kate to say anything to her anyway. She guessed that Sawyer would have told her what had happened by now. That was reason enough for Kate to dislike her, and she knew it.

Her eyes slowly traveled around the rest of the table. Jack's greeting wasn't surprising, being that he was a _nice _guy. But the fourth person at the table, the blonde woman who sat between Jack and Kate, was shooting death glares at her. She wasn't sure if she really deserved _that. _Whoever this woman was, she didn't really have the right to look at her that way. Her only guess was that this woman knew who _she_ was. She grinned down at her plate then back up at them all. The table certainly was full of tension.

"Look if this is how it's gonna be, I'll find somewhere else to sit," she told them.

Kate looked up finally, apparently taking a liking to the suggestion. Sawyer, on the other hand, started shaking his head.

"You don't gotta do that. I'm sure we could all act _mature_ about this and get along," he said, glancing at Kate.

Kate peered at him, stunned. She couldn't decide whether or not to be angry or proud. She held his gaze for a moment, hoping that her eyes would pierce through him and change his mind. However, he challenged her gaze by raising his eyebrows. And she could have sworn his eyes were almost lit with amusement! She looked away from him in disbelief.

"Sawyer's right," Jack chimed in. "You don't have to leave."

_Of course Jack wouldn't want her to leave_, Kate thought, feeling a slight twinge of jealousy. She switched her gaze to Allison, whose eyes mirrored her own. She knew that Allison, of all people, wouldn't let him get away with it.

"Actually, Jack, I think maybe she _should_ go," Allison said.

"Allison," he warned, quietly.

"Jack…"

"_You_ don't even know her."

"But you _do_. And that's enough to make me hate her already."

"Gee thanks," Ana said.

"Not talking to you," Allison said. "Jack, I really don't feel comfortable with her here."

"Instead of telling him that, why don't you tell _me_ that?" Ana said. "'Cause I'll leave."

"Good. Then go."

Ana got up from her seat and pushed her chair in.

"Ana," Sawyer and Jack both said simultaneously.

Allison looked at Jack incredulously, Kate at Sawyer. Then they exchanged glances. Ana stood uncertainly, not knowing what to do. Finally, Allison pushed back her chair and stood, angrily.

"Forget it. Stay."

With that, Allison stalked off toward the bathroom. After watching her walk away, Kate stared at the centerpiece on the table. A moment later, she, too, was up and walking in the same direction Allison had. Sawyer sighed, and Jack looked down. Ana sat down again.

"Sorry about that."

"It's not your fault," Jack said.

"Yeah it is."

"They'll get over it," Sawyer said.

"Really, I don't wanna make trouble for you guys. I can go sit over there…by Jin and Michael…or something. And you can all go back to your happy little lives."

Sawyer snickered.

"What?"

"Nothin'."

* * *

"Can you believe them?" Allison's voice echoed in the bathroom. "It's pretty obvious that she's not welcome. Why do they have to be the good guys and make it okay for her to sit?"

"I wish I knew," Kate said, staring at her reflection in the mirror. It was almost hard to believe that she was looking at herself.

"I don't even know _who she is_ but I already don't like her."

"She's an ex. You have reason to not like her."

Allison laughed. "And you _don't_? Wasn't she the one that Jack cheated with?"

Kate looked down. "That's not the reason."

Allison leaned against the sink and started to tug on one of her curls. "Whatever the reason…"

Kate smiled. "It looks like we've actually found something to agree on."

Allison raised her eyebrows. They were both silent for a moment, looking down at the floor.

"You think maybe Sawyer's right?"

"I don't know," Kate replied softly.

"Well could _you_ handle sitting there with her?"

Could she? Could she really sit there and act chummy with the woman who Sawyer had practically cheated on her with? Was it possible? Her churning stomach still told her 'no' but her heart said otherwise. What had happened was in the past. And she couldn't blame Sawyer for it. Especially not after everything that had happened with Damien.

"I think we'll survive," she nodded.

"Really?"

"Yeah. As hard as it is to believe, Sawyer's right," she grinned. It was a nice to be able to feel proud of him..."We can all act mature about this. And who knows, maybe it won't be so bad."

"I'll be damned," Allison muttered. "He actually found someone to trust him."

Kate laughed. "It took some work."

"I'll bet." She stood upright again. "Well if you can stand her, I can stand her."

Kate nodded and together they left the bathroom and headed back to their table.

"Oh! By the way, congratulations," Allison said before rounding the table to her seat.

Kate stopped briefly, and exhaled softly. So Allison had found out too. She wondered which one of them had told her. She sat down again next to Sawyer, and the table was awkwardly quiet.

"You ladies all right now?" Sawyer asked.

Kate turned and stared at him. "Just fine."

His eyebrows lowered in confusion. She was still upset, he guessed.

"I'm sorry I made such a fuss," Allison apologized, mostly to Jack.

"Sorry I caused it," Ana said.

"It's okay."

Ana had to laugh. It didn't take her long to realize just how _modest_ Allison was.

"Don't apologize to _her_," Sawyer teased Ana.

Too fed up to sit quietly anymore, Kate reached for Sawyer's arm.

"I need to talk to you."

With that, she stood and waited for him to join her. He sighed and stood too. Jack, Allison and Ana-Lucia watched them disappear outside. The sun was still shining when they got out and gave Kate a beautiful glow. Sawyer was mesmerized by her for a moment until she started to speak.

"What's wrong with you?"

"What?" he snapped out of his trance.

"_What's_ wrong with you?" she repeated.

"With me? You're the one gettin' all upset. I should be askin' you that."

"That's not what I meant."

"I'm just tryin' to make peace. I know you don't wanna put up with her but – "

"I don't _care_ about Ana-Lucia, Sawyer."

"Then what are we talkin' about?"

"We agreed we weren't going to tell anyone else after Charlie and Claire found out."

"Yeah…"

"You mind telling me how Jack knows?"

"Doc knows!?"

Kate nodded. "Allison too. I'm just trying to figure out why, when we said we were going to keep this to ourselves, that you decided – "

"Hang on a tick. You ain't tryin' to pin this on me now, are you?"

"What am I supposed to think?"

Sawyer smirked. "You really think that I would tell Doc?"

Kate stared at him, wordlessly. Actually, now that she thought about it...

"Of all people that I would tell, _if_ we were tellin' people…"

She looked down sheepishly. It finally hit her. It wasn't Sawyer who had told Jack. It was _Charlie_. She should have realized that earlier. Sawyer would never tell Jack anything. She let out a small laugh and looked up at Sawyer, hoping he'd forget this mishap.

"I didn't think so," he said, still smirking.

"When Jack had told me, I just thought – "

"Yeah, yeah. Save it, Freckles."

She laughed. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, you'd better be."

"Or what?"

He put his arm around her and rested it on her lower back, pulling her closer to him.

"I think you know what."

She reached up fixing his collar. "Do I?"

He raised his eyebrows, surprised. She was practically giving him an open invitation. She slid her arms off of him and took his hand.

"We'd better get back inside."

"Yeah. For all we know, Ally could be bitin' off Ana's head."

_That wouldn't be _so _bad, _Kate thought.


	26. Chapter 26

Quickie:

**xox-emily-xox** - Aw. How did you manage to even write that??  
**SassyLostie** - Well, Charlie didn't tell everyone. Just Jack. (who told Ally)

I actually have no words for this one except Enjoy!

**Chapter 26**

Kate and Sawyer reentered the reception hall, hand in hand. They sat again with Jack, Allison, and Ana-Lucia, who were surprisingly content and conversing. Within minutes of their seating, they were quickly included in the conversation. However, it wasn't long after that they wished they hadn't been. Allison had been raving about Jack and the "miraculous" surgeries he'd recently performed. Thankfully, the lights in the hall dimmed and everyone quieted. A light shone on Charlie and Claire only, who looked confused.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," said a voice.

Everyone immediately turned toward the stage to see who had spoken. Charlie's mother stood on the stage, microphone in hand, a smile on her face.

"It's time for the bride and the groom to dance for the very first time as man and wife."

Now, everyone turned their attention back to Charlie and Claire who were laughing embarrassedly, and getting up to head to the center of the floor. The slow music was the only sound that filled the room. Charlie took Claire's waist and she rested her hands on his shoulders. All of the guests looked on as they danced gracefully.

Kate leaned her head back softly, against Sawyer's shoulder, watching.

"She looks beautiful," she whispered.

He glanced down at her, then back at them. He brought his left arm over hers and laced his fingers over hers. She looked down at them, and smiled to herself, nestling into his hold. Too soon, the song ended and the lights rose again, but not as brightly as before. Kate sat up again and Sawyer let her go. They joined the clapping crowd.

More music began and Claire and Charlie remained on the floor, but were joined by more couples. Others remained seated and began to talk once more. Kate glanced up at Sawyer and they shared a knowing look.

"Sawyer?" Jack intervened.

Sawyer turned to look at him. "What's up, Doc?"

"Would it be all right if I asked Kate to dance?"

Kate smiled, and looked up at Sawyer to see his response. He looked down at her with a smirk, then back at Jack, nodding toward the dance floor. She followed Jack. He held out his hand for her and she took it. He wrapped his other arm around her back and she felt a light fluttering in her stomach

"Having fun yet?" Jack asked.

She grinned. "Trying to."

"I'm sorry if I upset you at all before."

"You didn't."

He nodded. "Yeah I did. Clearly you weren't comfortable with Ana. Just like Allison."

"It's not a big deal, Jack. I can live with it."

Sawyer watched Jack and Kate for a few minutes then turned back again, facing Allison. He looked at her, questioningly.

"Not in a million years," she answered.

He smirked and looked down, shaking his head. He snuck a glance at Ana-Lucia, who caught him and held his gaze.

"What?" she half-grinned. "You wanna dance?"

"You askin'?"

She let out a laugh and got up. "Fine."

They entered the dance floor, not far from Jack and Kate.

"So," Ana started. "You managed to get your girl back."

"Thanks to you."

She grinned, somewhat bashfully.

"So where's your date? Running late or stood you up?"

"No date."

"No?"

She sighed. "Nope."

"Then why'd you come?"

"See old friends."

He grinned. "You callin' me a friend?"

"Who said I was talking about you?"

He chuckled. They were both quiet and Sawyer could hear Jack talking to Kate.

"I just remember you two were…well you weren't on the best terms," Jack was saying. "Things were really bad."

"Jack, everything is fine now. I promise."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. It's great."

Sawyer knew Jack didn't fully believe her. But apparently, so did Kate.

"He loves me," she said quietly. With a smile, she added playfully, "So don't ever think otherwise."

Sawyer smiled. She was sticking up for him. That was something that hadn't happened often.

Jack nodded. "I love you, too, Kate."

Sawyer turned his head to see her reaction. She stared at Jack for a moment, then looked down and leaned her head on his shoulder. He saw her eyes revert to the floor. There was almost sadness in them. He understood the expression completely. It was one he'd seen all too much. He turned back to Ana.

"Well, hot stuff, hate to have to cut this short, but I think it's time you took a rest. You're lookin' kinda worn out."

She laughed and let go of him. "If you wanna get rid of me, just say so."

He grinned. As she started to walk away, he called, "Why don't you go keep Allison company?"

She looked back at him over her shoulder, sardonically. His attention turned to Kate again. It was time to give her a break from Jack. He tapped Jack on the shoulder and Kate lifted her head, looking at him.

"Mind if I cut in?"

Jack smiled. "Sure."

Kate watched him walk back to his seat then looked back up at Sawyer. Instantly, a smile formed. He rested his hands on her waist and she wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning into him.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

"Anytime, Freckles."

She inhaled the scent of his cologne, feeling instantly comforted. Though, she wasn't sure if it was just the cologne that did that.

"So, what, you and Doc professin' your love for each other?" he taunted.

She grinned, knowingly. "And if we were?"

"Mm," he moaned in mock anger, holding her tighter. "You'd be in a helluva lot a trouble."

She laughed and looked down. When she looked back up at him, she was still smiling.

"What?"

She paused and looked down, then back up at him, again. Her eyebrows creased.

"Why did you do your hair like that?" she asked, referring to how he had it slicked back with gel.

"You don't like it?"

"Here," she laughed.

She reached up and ran her fingers through his hair until it wasn't stiff and hung shaggily as usual.

"Perfect," she said, softly.

He stared at her, fighting the urge to kiss her.

"Did you get a haircut?" she asked, slightly surprised.

"Maybe," he dimpled.

She laughed. "Hm. Just full of surprises tonight."

"So?"

"It's kinda nice," she said in a low, flirtatious voice.

She rested her head against his chest again. They danced for a while, losing track of time and forgetting about the wedding. When they finally took their seats again, everyone was eating and enjoying each other's company. Kate even found herself talking with Ana civilly.

After a couple of hours, the toasts began. Charlie and Claire's family were the majority of them. Jack was making a toast as well. Being the maid of honor, she felt somewhat obligated to make one too. She decided that when Jack finished, she would stand and make her speech. Unfortunately, he had finished sooner than she thought, leaving her struggling with what she should say. Kate grabbed her glass of water, and stood. She cleared her throat, nervously. Sawyer looked up at her, taken aback by her sudden impulse. She paused for a moment, trying to think of what to say. Then she realized...she already knew.

"I think it was pretty obvious when I first saw Charlie and Claire together that there was an attraction," she started. "And even through the hardships, and the times they were separated, that attraction forced them together again." She smiled. "I guess I never realized, until now, that it wasn't _just_ an attraction. Or if it was, it had turned into something more." She looked down, hesitant to go on.

Sawyer absorbed her words...

"It's that one type of love that is so hard to achieve - the kind of selfless love that everyone hopes to find. Some _have_ found it. Some may never find it. Some of us are still searching. But Charlie and Claire…they have it." She looked up at them. "Don't let it go." She raised her glass. "Congratulations, Charlie and Claire."

The crowd applauded and drank. Kate took her seat again, avoiding eye contact with Sawyer. He was almost sure that her speech had nothing to do with Charlie and Claire at all. In fact, he could have sworn it was more about _their_ relationship, but he wasn't entirely sure. She wouldn't look at him, which made him even more suspicious. When she snuck a glance at him, he caught it, but she quickly looked away again. That simple gesture told him all he needed to know. It _wasn't_ about the newlyweds. She was expressing herself in a way that she didn't have to directly tell him. And he completely understood.


	27. Chapter 27

Quickie:

**SassyLostie** - Call me, Dee, please- Crazee as I may be. (I've been meaning to change my penname but I don't want to lose anyone.)  
**bonboni** - Well, what do _you_ think?  
**Elie** - Nice to know you're always looking forward to this. Thanks. :-)  
**xox-emily-xox** - A ghost? I might have to go take a look at that one...  
**ElleSexy** - Umm...let's see. She's probably about 8-9 weeks into it. Or at least by the time they get home its about 9 weeks.  
**Mathildou** - Aw, I'm sorry. I don't mean to make you cry! Re: Jack's declaration...haha. It's ironic that this chapter was the one I had to put up so soon after the finale.  
**sivan** - She'll tell him when she tells him. Patience, luv.  
**LostSista - **I don't like it slicked back much. It's much more sexy when it hangs shaggily so. Gives him that rugged look. Mm. Glad you liked the speech, too. I had to really work with that one.  
**xxEllaxx** - Wow, thanks for reading them all and reviewing now. The more the merrier. I agree, Kate's a lot better off when she isn't annoying and shifty.

So wow. I felt obligated to reply to as many reviews as I could, being that I got so many. I heard a lot about the speech and am thrilled everyone approves. As I said to **LostSista**, I really had to work with that one. And I thank you all kindly for the reviews. Always appreciated.

Now, I know it's been a few days since I've updated, and I'm sorry for the wait. Though, I suppose I should try and put more space between updates being that I'm starting to get closer to the last of what I've got written. (Don't worry, I don't mean the end of the fic. I still have a WAYS to go. I just need to get more written. It's all still stuck in my head.)

This chapter is actually one of my personal favorites. And you all know how much I "love" my writing.

**Chapter 27**

The wedding was nearing an end with only a few hours before Charlie and Claire would decide to leave. Kate, Sawyer and Ana-Lucia sat, bored stiff. Allison hadn't quieted about Jack yet, and even Jack, as hard as he tried, couldn't get her to stop. Thankfully, he'd asked her to dance, relieving the table of her endless chatter. Sawyer sighed after they left.

"I'm gonna get another drink," he told them, standing up. "You ladies want anything?"

"I'm good," Ana replied.

He looked down at Kate who shook her head, wishing she could have had at least one alcoholic beverage. He left them alone, and immediately it became awkward. Kate looked down at her lap, trying to think of what to say. Ana-Lucia sat up and leaned over.

"Listen…" Ana started.

Kate looked up, startled.

"I know Sawyer must have told you what happened by now. You know…while I was there?"

Kate smiled slightly, and nodded. "He did."

"Yeah. Well, I just wanna say 'sorry' about that. _I_ never intended on anything like that. Not that Sawyer did either."

Kate nodded again. "It's okay. It's in the past."

"Right. I just wanted to make sure you knew. So," Ana paused to take a deep breath, "I'm sorry."

Kate looked up with a faint grin. "Thank you."

With perfect timing, Sawyer returned. He glanced between them.

"Everything good here?"

"Yeah," Ana answered.

"Everything's great," Kate said, too.

He looked at her, curiously. Just as he was about to open his mouth to ask, the music stopped. Claire was on stage now, a vision in white. Kate noticed she was holding her bouquet again.

"Okay ladies. I'm throwing the bouquet, so gather 'round!" she said excitedly.

The majority of the women gathered around the stage, with the exception of Ana, Sun, and Charlie and Claire's mothers. Kate stayed seated too.

"You ain't gonna go up there, Freckles?"

"No."

"Why not? Don't you think Claire'll want you up there?" he teased.

She groaned, feeling guilty. "I don't _have_ to...do I?"

"Go on. I wanna see you go crazy like the rest of 'em."

She laughed, shaking her head. As she rose up, she said softly, "I'll get you for this."

She joined the crowd and Sawyer watched her, intrigued. She stood near the back by Claire's sister, and Allison who instantly engaged her in excited conversation. The women counted down from three and watched the bouquet go flying.

The flowers landed in Kate's hands. She looked down at it, horrified. Her heart pounded in her chest, and she felt like her breathing had stopped. She immediately let the bouquet fall to the ground and took a step back as the women began to fight over it. Kate couldn't help but feel a flood of fear come over her.

She turned her head and saw Sawyer. His wide eyes matched her own. Their eyes locked and their world had stopped completely. Not a sound was to be heard, not a movement was made. Their mind was one, floating with thoughts of what had just happened, and what would almost have been assumed.

She was bumped by Allison and snapped out of her trance. Allison stomped her way past Kate and back to their table – empty handed. Kate followed, slowly, and took her seat next to Sawyer again. One of Claire's other friends had gotten the bouquet.

"That wasn't even fair," Allison pouted. "Kate had it first."

Kate looked down. Sawyer glanced at her, then away, trying to think of a way to ease the tension between them.

"It's gettin' to be kinda late," he said because it was all he could think of. It seemed to work, however, for Kate immediately looked up. Encouraged, he added, "Maybe we oughta get outta here soon."

He looked down at her and she nodded.

"Yeah. I think that's a good idea."

After saying a few fond farewells to Jack, Allison, and Ana-Lucia, Sawyer and Kate went around to the rest of their friends to say 'goodbye'. While Sawyer was still busy talking with Jin and Hurley, Kate went over to Charlie and Claire.

"We're going to get going," she told them.

"Oh, already?" Claire frowned.

"Yeah. I'm starting to get a little tired," she said, thankful, for once, that she could use her pregnancy as an excuse.

"All right," Charlie agreed, reluctantly.

"Feel better, okay?" Claire said. "And thanks for coming!"

She nodded and hugged Claire and Charlie, then waited at the door for Sawyer. He finally turned away from Jin and Hurley to look for her. He spotted her by the door and had to stop and stare for a moment. The lighting from his angle made her look amazingly appealing. She stared back at him, with seemingly the same thoughts in her mind. He had to hold himself back to say goodbye to Charlie and Claire, then met with her at the door and they, finally, left the wedding.

The first twenty minutes of the ride home were quiet. Kate stared out the window and Sawyer watched the road.

"Wanna go for a walk?" Kate asked slyly, breaking the silence.

"A walk?" he glanced at her sideways, bemused. "Where?"

She nodded ahead. "There."

Sawyer looked ahead and saw an empty beach, with a boardwalk running along it. _Well…_he thought to himself. That sounded like a damn good idea, as a matter of fact. Instead of answering her, he pulled the car over and parked at the entrance of the boardwalk. Kate grinned as she got out and they walked up onto the wooden dock. He followed her and they walked along until they found the stairs that led down to the sand. She left her heels on the steps alongside his shoes.

She welcomed the cool water that splashed over their feet, and let her toes sink into the sand as they walked.

"That was fun," she said, finally.

"It was all right," he replied. "Glad we got out when we did though. Don't know how much more of Doc and Ally I coulda taken."

"Yeah."

"All their _love_ business…"

She didn't say anything, but, then, neither did he. After another few seconds of silence, she stopped walking and looked down at the sand. A few steps ahead of her, he noticed and went back to stand in front of her.

"Are we like that?" she asked him.

"Hell no."

"Why not?" she asked, looking up now.

He peered at her. "'Cause we ain't _them_. They haven't been through all the things we been through. And they sure as hell don't feel the same way we do." After a short pause, he added, "Doesn't mean we ain't in love."

She nodded in agreement and they began to walk again. He took her hand in his and squeezed it. They walked silently for a few minutes, once more.

"You know," she started. "The first few days we were here, Claire and I had gone out to dinner."

He grunted. "I remember. I was stuck with Huey that night."

She smirked. "I remember that too. The Three Little Pigs, right?"

He looked down, trying to repress the memory. "So what about it?"

"Well, she said something…_interesting_."

He stayed quiet, waiting for her to go on, but she didn't.

"Well, you gonna tell me or you just gonna leave me hangin' here in suspense?"

She smiled weakly. She took a deep breath, trying to figure out how to say it. After a moment, she finally sighed.

"She asked me when we…_if_ we were going to…" she paused, hesitant to go on. "If we were gonna get married."

He looked down, watching his feet kick the sand as they walked.

"Who said we were gonna get hitched?"

"Well, no one. I mean…I don't know. Maybe she just – "

"Do you want to?"

She stopped and stared at him. He turned and faced her too.

"Are you asking me?" she asked softly.

He stared at her, studying her expression.

"No," he said, finally.

He turned away again, and they continued to walk, hands no longer linked. She stared down at her feet.

"Do _you_ want to?"

He stopped again, and smirked. "You askin' me?"

She smiled. "No."

They walked down the beach, following the ocean. Even though neither had given any real answer to the question, they had a silent understanding.


	28. Chapter 28

Quickie:

**LostSista** - Well, they wouldn't be Sawyer and Kate if they weren't, would they? I have to make sure to keep them as in character as possible. Hopefully I'm still doing a good job at it.  
**bonboni** - Yep. She got it, but didn't want it. So what does _that _tell you?  
**HannyHan - **Ooh new person - shiiinny! Hehe. Anyway, glad to hear I am keeping your interest.  
**LockeFan** - More new person! Locke is indeed great, but I don't see anywhere for him to fit in this story. I'm almost certain - and I'll check after this - that I mentioned he _stayed_ on the island in..."Like a Boomerang". Sorry. Glad you like the fic though!

Okay. Is that it? Yeah. That's it. I'm diggin' the more reviewers thing. (I mean compared to some who have..oh..100 reviews for only 11 chapters, I shouldn't be even opening my mouth. But oh well:-P ) You all know I love you right? Bah. Of course you know.

Anyhoot...you knew it was coming!

**Chapter 28**

Sawyer awoke the next morning in the guest room of Charlie and Claire's apartment. He turned over expecting to see Kate beside him, but instead, he only saw bed. After giving himself a few minutes to wake up, he walked out of the room to find Kate. He heard Claire's voice which was coming from the nursery.

"He likes to hear a story every night before he goes to sleep," she was saying. "So I've put a few of his favorite books in the bag."

"Okay," he heard Kate say.

Confused, he walked to the nursery and stood in the doorway. Kate wore an uneasy expression on her face. She was staring at Aaron who was standing in his crib, holding his wolf. Claire, on the other hand, was packing a few things into a very colorful bag.

"I usually put him to bed between seven thirty, and eight o'clock."

"Seven thirty, eight. Got it," Kate said.

Sawyer cleared his throat making his presence known. Kate turned around, eyes wide, and Claire looked up. Neither said a word.

"Morning," he finally said.

"Good morning, Sawyer," Claire said cautiously.

He stared at Kate whose wide eyes were instantly filling with guilt. He began to wonder why. She walked over to him and took a hold of his arm.

"I need to talk to you," she said quietly, pulling him out of the room.

He let her lead him back into their room and shut the door. This wasn't a good sign, he decided. But then again, it was never a good sign when she needed to talk to him.

"What's goin' on, Freckles?"

"I need you to promise me something," she started.

He already didn't like where this was going.

"Promise you, what, exactly?"

"You can't get mad, okay?"

This was an argument in itself already, he realized. What had she done now?

"Mad about what?"

She took a deep breath. "I kind of promised Claire we'd do her a favor."

"What _kinda_ favor?" he asked, his anger already brewing.

"Well, you know, they're leaving for their honeymoon tomorrow."

"Why don't you quit beatin' around the bush and just tell me?"

She nodded, slowly. "I said we'd babysit Aaron while they were gone."

He stared at her, incredulously. "You did _what!?"_ he said loudly.

"Sawyer, please," she said quietly.

"And you weren't gonna even ask me about this!?"

"I couldn't just say 'no'."

"Like hell, you couldn't!"

He turned away from her, walking toward the balcony. He couldn't believe that she'd done that behind his back.

"It's only for four days. You can handle that, can't you?"

"What if I had plans for when we got home!?"

She laughed. "_Plans_?"

He opened the door and walked outside, taking out his cigarettes. She sat on the bed, looking down guiltily.

"I'm sorry, okay?"

"Why the hell would you go and do somethin' like that?"

"I was put on the spot. I wasn't going to tell her we couldn't, when really, we could!"

"_We_? It was never about _we_. You did this all on your own, sweetheart!"

"I thought it would be nice to help!" she said, quickly getting angry.

"You thought it would be _nice? _To bring that damn kid into _my_ house!?"

She stared at him, hurt. "_Your_ house? Now it's _your_ house again?"

"Well it ain't gonna be _our_ house if _we_ can't make decisions."

She looked away from him, tears silently rolling down her cheeks. _Damn hormones_, she thought.

"Fine," she said, trying to keep her breathing steady.

He turned around in time to see her get up and leave the room, wiping her eyes. He sighed and tossed the half-smoked cigarette over the ledge.

"Son of a bitch."

* * *

Kate and Sawyer didn't speak the rest of that morning, nor even spare a passing glance at each other. Sawyer was still angry, Kate was hurt. They packed their luggage in silence, ignoring each other's presence in the room. Charlie and Claire had taken notice, but decided not to press the issue and kept to themselves.

Soon, they were all boarding the plane. Sawyer grabbed the window seat. Knowingly, Charlie took a seat next to him, and Claire settled Aaron between him and her. Kate sat in the isle seat. Sawyer stared out the window for a while, letting his angered thoughts get the better of him. Kate snuck a few glances at him before she was forced to close her eyes in an attempt to sleep. _Why did being pregnant have to make you so tired? _she wondered. She sighed, trying to get comfortable but, within an hour, she felt the morning sickness she'd been due for. She unbuckled her belt and made her way quickly to the nearest bathroom.

Sawyer watched her out of the corner of his eye. After a good twenty minutes, he started to wonder about her. He turned his head to look and see if she was coming out yet, but only saw a young girl standing near the doorway, apparently waiting for the bathroom to open again. Feeling compelled to go and check on her, and also in need of a bathroom himself, he unbuckled his own belt and carefully made his way out to the isle. He brushed past the girl and went into the empty men's room.

Kate, meanwhile, had just finished washing her face. She didn't know if it was her raging hormones or not, but after getting sick, she couldn't stop the flow of her tears. She'd finally _just_ calmed down and after looking in the mirror, decided she looked good enough to go. She opened the door to go back to her seat and almost jumped when she saw Sawyer coming out of the bathroom across from her. She moved out of the way to let the little girl use the bathroom, then got caught in Sawyer's gaze once more. He sighed and started to walk past her.

"When are you gonna stop being angry at me, Sawyer?" she asked softly, her voice still pained.

He stopped in his tracks and turned around slowly. His eyes shot through her, stingingly.

"I already said I was sorry," she tried, desperately. "Would you please – "

"Now ain't the time, Freckles," he said in a low, angry voice.

As he turned away again, she grabbed his arm. "James…" she said quietly.

That seemed to anger him more. She had to look down, unable to take the glares he was shooting at her.

"Later," he told her and turned away again.

Aggravated, she decided she wouldn't let him get away with it.

"James!" she called, louder.

She watched him tense up and sigh exasperatedly before turning around to face her. This time, she was ready for his cold stare. Before he could say something, the little girl walked out again. She looked up at them, then walked slowly away, watching over her shoulder. Kate sighed and pulled Sawyer into the ladies room with her. The confined bathroom made it hard for them to move away from each other. They were almost close enough to feel each other's heart beating.

"What do you want, _Kate_?" he said bitingly, taking a step back from her.

"Just stop, Sawyer!" she cried, feeling tears welling up again. She turned away, agitated, trying to hide them. _Damnit_, she thought.

"Right here, and right now, Freckles - this ain't the time or place for this."

"I don't _care_," she turned around sharply.

"We'll talk when we get _home_," he urged. "The flight's almost over, and – "

"Why do you always have to be mad at me?!" She stared at him, her eyes burning with livid tears.

He wasn't going to let her tears affect him, however – not this time. His glare only hardened.

"Every time I try to do something, it always has to annoy you and you have to make everything about _you_," she said, shoving him backward.

He took a step forward again, hovering over her. "Well maybe if you decided to _ask me_ once in a while instead of goin' _behind my back_ – "

"I thought I could help!"

"Well you thought wrong."

"And I've come to terms with that. I just wish _you_ would!"

"You can't just decide to bring these people into my house and think I'll be _okay_ with it!"

"It's our house, Sawyer - _our_ house!"

"Really?" he sneered. "Was that _our_ decision?"

She stared at him furiously. Why did he have to be so stubborn, and yet, so desirable at the same time? She wanted to kill her damn hormones.

Sawyer shook his head. "It doesn't even matter. You got what you wanted, Princess. I hope you're happy."

He tried to leave but she moved to block the door.

"I'm not!" she said, frustrated. "Can't you see that!?"

"What the hell do you want me to say!? That I'm sorry!? I'm _not_. I got nothin' to be sorry for!"

She turned away from him, tears pouring at full force now. She had to choke back a sob. As he tried to leave again, his arms just brushed against hers. She turned around sharply, grabbing his right arm.

"No!"

"Get off me, Freckles!"

He wrestled his arm out of her grasp, then seized _her_ arms, trying to move her out of the way. She wriggled against his hold and fell back against the plastic sink. She stood upright again and forced him against the wall of the tiny room. They were both panting now, snarling, practically. She saw his eyes burned with fury, matching her own.

Kate grabbed his shirt in her fists and pulled him to her in an angry, forceful kiss. He wrapped his arms around her tightly and she had to break the kiss to gasp in pain. She glared up at him and dug her nails into his chest, kissing him again. He lifted her, turning around to force _her_ against the wall now. Her hands wandered up into his hair, and around his head, her nails scratching and fingers tugging. He gripped her waist, forcing her shirt up slightly and started to unbutton her pants. She forced her body against him, causing him to stumble back against the opposite wall.

She broke the kiss to look down as she started unbuttoning his jeans. He looked down too, watching. She looked up and kissed him again, hungrily. He lifted her, and she latched her legs around his waist. Again, he turned them both around so she would be against the wall again. Her back slammed into the wall causing her to bite down on his lower lip. He pulled back sharply and she grabbed tightly onto his arms, spitefully. He pressed her against the wall harder and entered her.

As he roughly thrust, his hands carelessly wandered, explored her clothed body, and slid up her neck. He mischievously rested his thumbs beneath her lobes and lightly massaged, knowing exactly how it would affect her.

Her body was suddenly overcome by a pleasurable feeling and she felt numb with bitter delight. She kissed him again, furiously. He broke away sending kisses down her neck and dipped his head low as he started down her chest, shoving her shirt down lower. She was gasping for air but that was soon cut short as he encompassed her parted lips with his own and dove his tongue inside. She moaned in ecstasy, her eyes forcing themselves closed. She bit gently into his lip again and tugged it lightly.

The plane suddenly interrupted them and began to shake. Sawyer saw Kate's eyes fly open, widely and exchanged a worried glance. The plane shook again and Kate started to slide on the wall. Sawyer held onto her, and they waited. Three minutes later, the plane was normal again. Kate looked down, her eyes closed, forcing herself to breathe. The turbulence had stopped…


	29. Chapter 29

Quickie:

**Mathildou** - Well, aside from the plane's turbulence stopping, you're right about another. But I wasn't talking about the argument. LOL  
**lost crazy** - Um..what?

Have fun. :)

**Chapter 29**

Upon getting home, they all filtered into the house. Kate looked around the house, glad to be back. She missed Mackenzie and couldn't wait to get him back from Cassie. At least _he_ wouldn't be mad at her. After a while, she decided to help Charlie and Claire set up the upstairs guest bedroom for Aaron's usage. Sawyer decided that he needed a drink.

Later, Kate, Charlie and Claire (and Aaron) were sitting in the living room, talking. Sawyer walked out of the kitchen and the room quieted. Kate watched him grab his keys from the mantle and start for the front door.

"Where are you going?"

"Out," he said, coldly.

Sawyer pulled into the back lot of _The Parlor_. He walked to the door and entered the back door of the diner. He spotted Cassie heading out of the kitchen, her hands filled with plates.

"Hey Jerry," he greeted the cook.

"Howdy to ya, James. Cass is 'spectin' ya?"

"No," Sawyer grinned.

Jerry chuckled to himself and went back to his cooking. Sawyer took a look at the food, while he waited, and grimaced.

"Best of luck to the poor devil that has to eat that slop," he commented.

"Luck won't do 'im no good," Jerry grinned wickedly. "It's the health inspector's meal."

Sawyer smirked. "Then shouldn't you be tryin' to make your food _good_?"

"Oh it'll be good, all right. 'Til he hits the can, later."

Sawyer laughed. Cassie walked in the door and Sawyer walked over to meet her. She shrieked at the sight of him, having startled her.

"You _gotta_ come sneakin' up on me, James?" she said, annoyed. "Damn near gave me a heart attack!"

"Nice to see you too, Cassie."

"What're you doin' back here? You know you ain't supposed to be comin' in this way. If the manager was ta catch you – "

"Is he here?"

She paused. "Why?"

"'Cause that son of a bitch owes me money."

"Just 'cause you couldn't con his wife outta their money don't mean he owes you nothin', James."

"Whatever."

"What're you doin' here, anyhow?"

"Came to pick up the cat."

"Oh, Mackenzie? Sure thing, baby. He's upstairs. Door _should_ be open."

"Great," he said, sullenly.

"This is about more than just the cat, ain't it?"

"What? No."

"Jerry, tell Tabby to hold down the fort when she comes back in," she said. "I gotta take James up to get his cat."

"Sure thing, Cassie," Jerry replied.

He sighed and followed her up the stairs to the apartment that resided above the strip mall. She opened the door and stepped into her apartment, glancing around.

"Don't mind the mess. I haven't gotten 'round to cleanin' just yet," she told him.

"No problem."

He looked around the small apartment. Everything looked exactly as it always did. Clothes littered the wooden floors, and navy couch. There were clouded rings on the glass coffee table from cups left too long, and several magazines stacked.

"You want somethin' to drink?" she called from the kitchen.

"No thanks."

He sat on the couch, pushing aside some of the clothes. He was almost startled by Mackenzie who jumped up onto the arm of the couch beside him. He sat and watched Sawyer, then began to lick his paw.

Sawyer stared at the cat, his eyes pained. She loved that cat. She was always taking care of it and making sure it was safe and comfortable. It was a damn cat, for Christ's sake. Why the hell did she love it so much? What kind of pleasure could it possibly bring her?

Sawyer sighed and rested his arm on the arm of the couch, careful not to hit Mackenzie. Mackenzie stared at his hand, then lowered his head and nuzzled it. Sawyer looked at him, taken aback by the cat's gesture. He would've thought the cat hated him. All _he _did was kick him around and treat him cruelly. But here was Mackenzie, rubbing his face against Sawyer's hand affectionately, trying to make peace. Trying to prove that he could see past the cruelty and still love him. He lifted his hand and hesitantly gave the cat a pat on its head. Maybe it wasn't so bad, after all.

Cassie came out into the living room and smiled.

"I guess you found your little friend."

Sawyer looked up, bewildered, and immediately pulled his hand away from the cat. Mackenzie immediately ran away from him. He looked down, shamefully.

"_Friend_," he scoffed.

"Oh, well, pardon me." She sat on the opposite side of the couch on it's arm. "So what's on your mind?"

He looked down at the floor for a long time, lost in thought. When he finally looked up again, he shook his head.

"I gotta get the cat home."

"You sure, James?"

"Yeah."

He got up and walked over to the corner Mackenzie was sitting in. He easily scooped him up in one hand and held him. Then he grinned.

"She's waitin' for him."

Sawyer retrieved all of Mackenzie's things, and found a small box to put him in for the car ride. He set the box in the passenger's seat beside him and said 'goodbye' to Cassie. As he started to drive, he heard Mackenzie moving in the box. When he looked over, the cat's head was poked out and his big green eyes stared up at Sawyer.

"You gotta stay in there, pal," he said, gently shoving Mackenzie's head back in.

After another minute, Sawyer saw the cat's head poke out again, this time, accompanied by a paw as he tried to climb out.

"Oh, think you're funny, do ya?"

He pushed him back in and kept his right hand on top of the box for the remainder of the ride. In a few minutes he was pulling into his driveway and turning off the truck. Hoping that Kate was not in the living room, he took the box Mackenzie was in and walked inside. Luckily, no one was in the living room. He guessed she was upstairs with Claire and Charlie. And Aaron.

As he made his way up, he heard the voices coming from the guest room. The door was opened a crack. He walked quietly into his own room and placed the box on the bed, then closed the door. He walked back over to the guest room and knocked, then opened it. Charlie and Claire looked up, and Kate looked away.

"Sorry if I interrupted somethin'," he said.

"Not at all," Claire assured him.

"Was wonderin' if I could borrow Kate for a second."

She looked up at him, her eyes cold and hurt at the same time. Reluctantly, she got up and followed him out of the room.

"What do you want, Sawyer?"

He stopped walking and sighed. "I'm tryin' here, okay?"

"What're you talking about?"

He didn't answer her, but opened the door into their room, gesturing for her to go in first. She did and he followed, closing the door behind them. She took notice of the box on the bed, but didn't seem to care. She turned around and folded her arms staring at him.

"So what's this about?" she asked, impatiently.

He nodded at the box. "Call it a way to say…_sorry_."

She looked at him, confused, for a moment then slowly went over to the box. She looked back at him again, hesitant to open it. He looked away, seemingly embarrassed. Before she could make another move, a small meow came from the box. She looked down and smiled. She opened the box and saw Mackenzie. Sawyer watched her eyes light up as she lifted the cat into her arms. She pet him lovingly and he heard it purring. She looked up at him, her smile lessening.

"Thank you," she said softly.

And for an instant, she was the cat. And he was the dog that was always running after her, trying to hurt her. But, he realized, he didn't want to be that dog anymore.


	30. Chapter 30

Quickie:

**xox-emily-xox** - I have no idea where the ideas come from. It's kind of like my fingers type it out and do all the work, and then when all is said and done, I reread what has been written and edit it to make sure it's okay. Blame my fingers.  
**Diger** - Have they really? I haven't been noticing. I don't read fanfiction as much as I write it. That's a shame though.  
**chase.and.cameron.4ever.93** - No, Cassie is NOT Cassidy. Cassie is a self-created character.  
**Mathildou** - Changes? Sawyer? Are we talking about the same guy? Heheh. Kidding.  
**SassyLostie** - Welcome back! I hope you had a good time on vacation. (Was wondering where you were.) P.S. - Don't be embarrassed that you called me Crazee. It's fine. I know I said you could call me that, but I meant the actual word CRAZY. Teehee. Sorry. I realize that could be confusing. And uh, yeah. Yeah that was directed at you. My jealousy sometimes takes on a life of it's own. No, I'm kidding. I honestly don't mind. The fact that I even get reviews is enough for me. But kickass for you to have that many! You must be better than me.

SO! Everyone loved the ending. Thank you, thank you. I'm glad to hear it, as always. Also, as you may have noticed, I'm spacing out the updates more than usual. Sorry if it's an inconvenience but I've got to do it. It's for the best, I promise. Just try to get used to it. Besides, there's always the off chance I might feel generous some days and give you a freebie chapter. :)

And now I know the question on everyone's mind is _How's Sawyer going to cope with Aaron now?_ Well...you'll need to read to find out, now won't you? Enjoy it.

P.S. - Sorry it's so short. Didn't realize that until now.

**Chapter 30**

The next day, Sawyer was woken up early by Aaron shouting for his mother. He grabbed his pillow and stuffed it over his head, hoping Aaron would quiet down sometime soon so he could fall back to sleep. Unfortunately, the shouting did not stop, and soon woke Kate too. She rolled over onto her stomach shoving her face into her own pillow.

"What time is it?" she asked, lifting her head up groggily.

Sawyer glanced at the clock. "Seven thirty."

She let her head fall into the pillow again with a sigh.

Sawyer moaned. "How long are they gonna let him go on for?"

"Hopefully not too much longer," Kate sighed.

They both quieted, listening. Aaron had stopped and it was quiet again. Only a few minutes later, Aaron could be heard shouting loudly for Kate. Sawyer threw the pillow on the floor in exasperation.

"Don't they know how to shut their kid up!?"

"What time did you say it was?" Kate turned over on her side, apparently more awake than he was now.

"Half past seven. Why?"

She raised a hand to her head. "Their flight was at six."

"Oh that's just _swell_."

"I'll go get him," Kate said, sitting up and pushing her hair behind her ears.

"Better not be like this for all four days."

She stared at him as she walked out, silently agreeing. She walked into the guest room and there was Aaron in his portable crib, eyes shining.

"Kay!" he said loudly.

"Shh," she said, lifting him out of the crib. "Sawyer's sleeping."

"S'eeping?"

"Yes."

"Shh!" Aaron said, putting a finger to his lips.

"How about some breakfast? You like bananas?"

"Nana's!" he cried cheerfully, and loudly.

She heard a soft thud, guessing Sawyer had thrown the pillow at his door. Inwardly apologetic, she quietly crept down the stairs with Aaron.

"What's that!?" Aaron asked, suddenly clinging to Kate.

Kate looked over his shoulder and saw Mackenzie sitting on the couch, sleeping peacefully.

"That's Mackenzie. He's a cat."

"Kenzie?"

"Muh-kenzie."

"Kenzie," Aaron insisted.

"Fine," she smiled, setting him in his high chair. It'd been set up in the kitchen the night before, much to Sawyer's disliking.

"Where Kenzie go?"

"Mackenzie's still sleeping."

"Oh!" his eyes widened with realization. "Shh."

Kate had to laugh. He was more adorable than she would have imagined. She could get used to this.

Following Claire's instructions, Kate found a small bowl and poured the contents of the miniature box of Cheerios into it. She put the bowl on Aaron's tray and started to peel a banana. Aaron plucked a Cheerio from the bowl and stuffed it – along with his fingers – into his mouth. After a few minutes, he dumped the bowl onto the tray for easier access.

"Kay?" he said suddenly.

"Yes?"

"Juice!"

_Juice?_ Kate wondered. Claire didn't say anything about juice. And the only juice that was in the fridge was Orange Juice. Could she give that to Aaron? Were babies allowed to have Orange Juice? Kate looked through the diaper bag on the counter to see if there was any indication or any juice. When she couldn't find anything, she looked through the fridge, frustrated. She didn't know what to give him. She looked for the list of numbers Claire had given her but quickly stopped herself. Claire was still on the plane. Her phone wouldn't be on.

"Kaay!" Aaron continued. "Juice!"

"What juice, Aaron?"

"Apple."

She turned around and leaned over the counter, thinking. They didn't have apple juice. And Claire hadn't left any. What was she supposed to do? As if on cue, Sawyer sauntered into the kitchen, the morning's newspaper under his arm. She looked up, hopeful.

"Sawyer?" He grunted. She hesitated before going on, "Do you think you could watch him for a – "

"No."

"But I need to run to the store."

"What for?"

"Well…Claire didn't leave any Apple Juice. And he said that's the juice he drinks."

"So? We got Orange Juice," he said, sitting down and opening the paper. "Or Milk even. Give him that."

She looked down embarrassedly. _Milk_. Why hadn't she thought of that? She sighed and nodded, getting the milk out from the fridge. Sawyer lowered the paper and watched her as she searched through the bag for a bottle.

"You all right, Freckles?"

"Yeah," she said quietly.

_That's a no_, he thought. He wondered what was wrong and continued to watch her as she fumbled with the top of Aaron's bottle. She was actually almost shaking, he realized. He got up to help her, seeing that she was having trouble getting the top off. He took it from her hands, and she let him and continued to stare at the counter.

"You gotta turn it the other way," he said, twisting the top off easily.

She nodded as he handed it back to her, looking up at him gratefully. She poured the milk, closed the bottle and handed it to Aaron. Luckily, he was content with that. After setting the plate of bananas in front of Aaron, she sat at the table with Sawyer – who went back to his paper - in silence. She didn't even know to give him milk. Even Sawyer knew and he knew as little about kids as Kate did. How could she not have known? And how was she going to manage a kid of her own if she didn't know the basics? Maybe she really wasn't cut out to be a mother.

"What're you thinkin' on so hard?" he interrupted her thoughts.

"Nothing," she said. "Just tired."

Kate leaned forward, but then instantly sat back again. She grimaced, seemingly in pain, and crossed her arms over her chest. She looked up at Sawyer, who was staring at her questioningly. She smiled sheepishly.

"They're sore."

His expression changed and even though he tried to remain nonchalant, she could have sworn he looked almost scared.

"That's…that's normal, right?"

She laughed. "Yes, it's normal."

He nodded. "Right."

Sawyer felt something soft against his leg. He looked under the table and saw Mackenzie rubbing up on his ankle. He got up and grabbed Mackenzie's food bowl to start to fill it. Kate watched, intrigued. She watched as Sawyer filled both bowls with food and water, and gave Mackenzie a pat on the head. Then, he proceeded back to his seat. She smiled.

"Making friends with Mackenzie?"

He scoffed. "I was just gettin' him away from me."

"Okay," she said with a laugh.

Sawyer was about to retort but Aaron had started to whine. Kate tried to ask him what was wrong but he only started to cry. She looked helplessly to Sawyer.

"Don't lookit me," he shook his head. "I don't want nothin' to do with it."

While Sawyer sat once more, desperately trying to read his paper, she lifted Aaron out from the highchair. She grimaced at the pungent odor that suddenly filled her nostrils. She glanced at Sawyer. He had put the paper down, yet again, and sighed.

"I think I've figured out the problem," she said.

"Yeah, I can smell."

She looked at Aaron, unhappily. Sawyer stared at her, wondering what she was waiting for. She noticed, and sighed.

"Well…I don't know how to change a diaper," she explained.

"Well, neither do I."

"Sawyer…please?"

"What the hell am I supposed to do? Hold him while you clean it?" He raised the paper again. "I ain't gettin' within a ten foot radius of him until that's done with."

She narrowed her eyes, and said in a repressed voice, "I need your help, _James_. I can't do this on my own."

"You could bring him here on your own, though, right?" he muttered.

"What?" she asked, even though she'd heard.

"Nothin'," he said, getting up.

She rolled her eyes. "Fine. Grab the bag for me," she said, leading the way upstairs.


	31. Chapter 31

Quickie:

**Mathildou** - No, Aaron's not quite two years old yet. Although, actually, he probably should be if the story is already in mid-July...so yeah. Then he would be two. Wow. Betcha love how I just did that, huh? And no, you don't need to say it everytime. (But it never hurts. :-D )

I had intended on updating this on Saturday, but I'm very likely to be out all day and won't get a chance to. So lucky you, you're all getting the chapter early. Hope you like it.

**Chapter 31**

Working together, they made it through the first struggle – the diaper changing. Kate spent the rest of that day playing with Aaron. She fished out the toys that Claire had brought and they played. He seemed to be especially fond of the wolf that she had won him, which brought a smile to her face. She'd also properly introduced him to Mackenzie - needless to say, the two became inseparable.

Sawyer, on the other hand, utilized the day to work outside in his shed. He'd catch Kate when she'd glance out the window at the shed. She couldn't see him, and that was a good thing, because he was on constant watch to make sure she didn't come out. He refused to let her in on what exactly it was he was doing out there.

After dinner, Kate thought it would be a good idea if Sawyer gave Aaron his bath, being that they were both males. Sawyer, however, didn't take to the suggestion, as she'd expected.

"Isn't that illegal anyway?"

She rolled her eyes. "No, it's not illegal. Claire and Charlie entrusted us with Aaron for the few days."

"Whatever. I still ain't doin' it."

"It wouldn't kill you to help out a little," she said, cleaning Aaron's face. He'd managed to get more of the baby food around his mouth, rather than in it.

"I helped you with the diaper."

"Okay. I'll rephrase. It wouldn't kill you to help out a little _more_."

He rolled his eyes and walked out of the kitchen and into the living room.

"This is your mess, sweet cheeks. You get to clean it up."

She folded her arms, and, leaving Aaron in his high chair, followed Sawyer into the other room.

"Look. I know you could care less about this. And I know that you're still mad at me for bringing him here. But I can't do this on my own." When she saw she finally had his attention, she put her hands on her hips. "Now, you can either help me out, or - "

"Or what?" he smirked.

"_Or," _she grinned. "You can sleep on the couch."

He snickered. "You can't kick me outta my own bed."

"Our bed, isn't it?"

"Not according to the sales receipt."

She rolled her eyes. "Your choice, James."

He leaned over the back of the couch as she turned to leave.

"Hey." She turned back around. "Since when did you start callin' me _James_?"

She smirked and raised her eyebrows. "Since it caught your attention."

She went into the kitchen and he slumped against the couch, lowering his arm along the top of it. He hated when she called him _James_. And yet, there was something about the sound of his name on her lips that made it sound that much more erotic. He knew that her new infatuation with it wouldn't die down anytime soon. So he'd just have to deal with it. She came back out of the kitchen, Aaron in her arms - he was holding his wolf.

"So what's it gonna be?" she asked him.

He glanced at her, then at Mackenzie who was sitting in his new favorite spot – the arm of the couch. He seemed to be looking at Sawyer with contempt. He sighed.

"You can bathe him." He caught her frown out of the corner of his eye. "I'll read him a damn bedtime story."

Her face lit up again, and he watched her smile. He loved that smile. It was a smile he never got to see too often. She nodded and let her hand brush against his as she rounded the couch to go upstairs. He closed his hand, grinning to himself. The sooner that kid was asleep, the better.

After Kate finished giving Aaron his bath, and putting him in his pajamas, she headed downstairs to bring him to Sawyer. She noticed that Aaron seemed to feel warmer than he did earlier, but realized it was just because he'd taken his bath. She had to stop being so paranoid. She brought him to the couch and sat him down with Sawyer, who sighed.

"Where're the books?" he asked.

"They're in the bag."

"Fine. Where's the _bag_?"

"It's…upstairs. I'll get it."

Before she took a step, the phone began to ring. They both glanced in the kitchen.

"You get _that_. Me and Huey will go upstairs."

"Okay," she agreed.

"C'mon, tyke," he said, lifting Aaron. "Let's go find us a book."

"Pigs!" Aaron squealed.

"Oh hell no…"

Kate smiled as she watched them go upstairs, then went to answer the phone. Upon getting upstairs, Sawyer put Aaron in his crib and looked for the bag. Aaron stood, grasping the bars and watching Sawyer's every move.

"If I was a bag, where would I be…" he muttered to himself. Then he looked at Aaron. "If _we_ were bags, where would we be?"

Sawyer was only faced with Aaron's bright blue eyes. Of course he wouldn't understand. Then he spotted it on the floor near the bed. He searched through it and found three books.

"O-kay, Huey. You gotcher Three Bears, Goodnight Moon, and…_Three Little Pigs_," he sighed. "Take your pick."

"Pigs!"

"I thought so. But only once this time, okay?"

"Oh kay."

"Good."

Sawyer took a seat on the bed, next to Aaron's crib. He leaned his back against the wall and stretched his legs out. Aaron sat in his crib, imitating Sawyer.

"Once upon a time there was a mother pig who had three little pigs. The three little pigs grew so big that their mother said to them, 'You're too big to live here any more. You gotta go and build houses for yourselves. But take care that the big bad wolf doesn't catch you.'"

"Sawr!"

"Is that what they been lettin' you call me? Try it like this. SAWY-ER."

"Saw-er."

"Good enough."

"Sawer, big bah wolf," he held up his wolf plushie.

"That's right. Big Bad Wolf." 

"No. _Sawer_ big bah wolf," he said, followed by a giggle. He seemed to be amused by his own joke. The wolf suddenly dropped out of the crib, and Aaron got on his feet immediately. Sawyer narrowed his eyes and picked it up.

"Very funny," he said, tossing the stuffed wolf at Aaron. He cleared his throat and went on with the story, while Aaron lied down holding his wolf.

"'The three little pigs set off. 'We'll take care that the wolf doesn't catch us,' they said. Soon they met a man who was carrying some straw. "Please will you gimme some straw?" asked the first little pig. "I wanna build a house for myself.' The second little pig and the third little pig went on along the road. Soon they met a man who was carrying some sticks. "Please will you gimme some sticks?" asked the second little pig. "I wanna build a house for myself.'" He paused again. "Now what kinda idiot makes a house outta straw or sticks?"

"The same kind of idiot that's reading to a baby that's already asleep?" Kate said softly, appearing in the doorway.

Sawyer looked up at her and then at Aaron who was, indeed, fast asleep. He sighed and closed the book, putting it on the nightstand beside him. She walked over and sat beside him, stretching her own legs out.

"Who was on the phone?"

"Claire. She wanted to know how Aaron was doing."

"Oh."

"James?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you," she said, resting her head on his shoulder.

"No problem, Freckles."

She sat up and leaned over to kiss him softly. However, she should have realized that it never worked that way, for his hands found her face now and she felt herself leaning into him more. The kiss grew more powerful and they lowered into the bed. Kate instantly stopped him. He stared down at her, confused.

"Not while he's right there."

He glanced away then back at her. "Then we'll go in our room."

"But wouldn't it be…I don't know. Strange? And what if he wakes up?"

"What're you talkin' about? Kid's out cold."

She shook her head. "I just…can't. Not tonight."

He rolled onto his back beside her, sighing. "Fine."

She turned on her side, looking down at him, sympathetically. "I'm sorry."

He got up and walked to the doorway. "You owe me," he grinned over his shoulder.

She smiled and watched him pull his shirt over his head as he walked down the hallway to the bathroom. She turned her attention back to the sleeping Aaron. His wolf was slipping out of the crib, but Kate picked it up and put it next to him. She pulled the blanket over him and turned the lights out.


	32. Chapter 32

Quickie:

**SassyLostie** - "Glad someone thought of that": I'm surprised that was a reaction. Because other readers were disappointed in Kate! Believe that?? Hehe. P.S. Growing up with two baby brothers gives me some good experience in writing Aaron. :-)  
**bonboni - **Aaron isn't sleeping in their room. Oh could you imagine what kind of fight Sawyer would have put up?? No, there's a guest room down the hall from their room that Aaron is taking residence in.

So so so so sorry I haven't updated lately! I hate having to deprive anyone. (Not like this is some kind of drug or anything. LOL That would be a little odd...) My cable has gone out, and with that goes the internet, so I'm internetless for a short while now. I'm at my mom's - who has internet, obviously - so I'll try to update while I'm here during the week. Sorry this is so delayed. ENJOY!

**Chapter 32**

A new day dawned. That morning, Kate was forced to get Aaron, yet again, due to Sawyer's heavy sleeping. Or…so he seemed to portray. She barely minded, however, and took Aaron downstairs to the kitchen to feed him. As she carried him down the stairs, she realized he felt warmer than he probably should have. She sat him in his highchair and inspected him, finding no other problems. Thinking she was just overreacting, she began to prepare his breakfast.

A little while later, Sawyer walked into the kitchen and saw Kate spoon feeding Aaron.

"Sawer!" Aaron cried happily.

"Mornin', Huey." He looked at Kate with a smirk. "Mornin' Freckles."

She smiled and put the bowl down on Aaron's tray as Sawyer leaned over for a long good-morning kiss. Aaron took this opportunity to grab the bowl and dunk his fingers into it. This caused the bowl to turn over on the tray and emptied the contents. Kate broke away from the kiss after hearing the noise.

"Oh! Aaron, no, no."

She lifted his fingers and turned the bowl back over, while Sawyer went to get a cloth to clean it. He handed her the wet cloth and she covered Aaron's hands with it, washing off the mushy baby food. Sawyer peered at Aaron.

"What're those spots?"

"What spots?" Kate scrunched her eyebrows.

"Lookit him."

She lifted the cloth and saw little red bumps on Aaron's hands. Then she looked up at his face and noticed a few there too. Her eyes widened.

"They weren't there a few minutes ago." She felt Aaron's head again. "Does he feel warm to you?"

Sawyer sighed and hesitantly put a hand to Aaron's head, and nodded. Kate's face melted into an expression of worry.

"You think it's – "

"Chicken Pox," Sawyer nodded.

Kate sighed and sat in thought, trying to think of what to do. How was she supposed to treat Chicken Pox? She didn't know who to ask either. She couldn't bear to call Claire. It would only worry her and probably ruin the rest of the honeymoon. But who else was there to call? She stared at Sawyer who seemed to be sitting farther away than he was before, and strangely quiet.

"Hey," she said, getting his attention. "What's the matter?"

He stared at her, pained. She could have sworn there was a look of fear in his eyes. Now _he_ was worrying her.

"I never had Chicken Pox," he admitted.

She gazed at him sympathetically, then down at the floor. She looked up again, nervously.

"I don't remember having them either," she said.

They exchanged a worried glance. Kate looked back to Aaron who was scratching his face, frowning.

"Oh. Aaron don't do that, okay?" she told him, pulling his hands away gently.

His lips began to quiver and he tried to pull away. Kate frowned now, knowing what was coming. In an instant, Aaron began to cry. She lifted him from his chair, whispering "shhs" to him.

"I'm sorry, Aaron. But you can't scratch it."

"Mommy!" he cried.

She looked to Sawyer, miserably, wishing she could do something for Aaron. Having never had Chicken Pox before, she didn't know what to do. Then suddenly, her expression changed and she handed Aaron over to a bewildered Sawyer.

"Oatmeal," she said as Sawyer took Aaron from her arms.

Sawyer stared at the crying baby, unsure of what to do. He sat Aaron on his lap, holding his back, and watched Kate start rummaging through cabinets.

"_Oatmeal_?" he stared at her, bemused.

"I had Poison Ivy when I was a kid. My dad gave me a bath in oatmeal and it stopped the itching."

Sawyer stared at Aaron. Even he looked repulsed by the idea.

"And you think it'll do the same for him?"

"I _hope_ it will." She looked at him. "You have to have oatmeal, don't you?"

"Hell if I know. I hate the damn stuff."

She sighed and Aaron started to cry louder. Sawyer looked back at him with wide eyes.

"C'mon, Huey. It ain't that bad, is it?"

Aaron quieted, but he still frowned at Sawyer. Sawyer tapped his foot lightly and let Aaron bounce gently, which seemed to soothe him. He stared at the boy. Was this what it would be like when they had _their_ kid? They wouldn't know exactly what to do and everything would be harder than it seemed? _He_ didn't know how to tend to a sick kid, nor did Kate. Maybe he was just overreacting, but the whole idea of fatherhood was starting to scare him. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all.

"Ah!" Kate broke his concentration. "Found it."

"Good."

"I'm gonna go draw him a bath. Don't let him scratch," she said, leaving the room.

He rolled his eyes. What did she think he was holding the kid's hands for? The more Sawyer thought about it, the more he started to realize he wasn't cut out to be a father. He didn't do well with feeding, and bathing – he barely even liked the bedtime stories. He almost didn't want anything to do with Aaron. The kid was cute, he'd give him that. But with him came all the responsibilities. What if he'd wind up being the same kind of father _his_ father was? He scoffed. He couldn't take a chance at letting that happen.

Kate returned a few minutes later, seemingly more assured. He stared at her, and stopped tapping his foot. Instantly, Aaron climbed into Sawyer's arms and hung onto him, yawning. Kate sat down at the table with them.

"The water's running," she told him. "And I called up a doctor to ask about what we could do for him."

"Who, _Jack_?"

She rolled her eyes. "He's not the only doctor whose number I could call."

"Fine."

"They said not to let him scratch it because it would only make it worse."

"But you knew that already."

"He'll probably sleep a lot today," she ignored him. "He'll need to rest so he can bring down his fever and get better."

"Good. That'll give _us_ a break," he said, watching quizzically as Aaron backed away and sat on the table in front of him.

"Yeah. That's if we can get him to sleep."

"What do you mean _if we can get him to sleep_? He passed out to the 'Three Little Pigs' last night."

"But it was his bedtime. He's used to going to sleep at that time."

"So? Babies take naps all the time."

That was true, she realized. She looked down silently, wishing she wasn't so uneducated when it came to kids. Sawyer noticed Aaron was scratching his arm intently, and pulled his hand away to force him to stop. Aaron looked at Sawyer, displeased, but Sawyer's gaze was transfixed on Kate. He sighed.

"Look. I'll just read him his story after the bath. _Hopefully_ that'll do it."

"Sounds good." She got up from her seat. "All right. I think the water should be ready by now."

"Good luck, Huey," Sawyer said, lifting Aaron for Kate's taking.

As _luck_ would have it, Sawyer's plan worked. After Kate gave Aaron his oatmeal bath – difficulty included – she left the two of them alone and went back downstairs to call Claire. After all, she couldn't keep this from her, but at least she could assure her that he was okay. Sawyer came down a little while later – two readings of The Three Little Pigs later, to be exact – and joined Kate in the living room.

"He's asleep?" she looked at him, surprised.

"Yeah."

"Wow."

"Just promise me we won't have The Three Little Pigs as an option when it comes to bedtime stories."

She smiled. "I promise."

"I could probably recite the whole damn thing by heart now."

"You know, I don't think I've ever actually read that story," she grinned, teasingly.

He eyed her suspiciously. "You ain't gonna ask me to read it to you, are you?"

She laughed. "No."

"Good."

"You could give me the short version though, if you want," she said playfully.

"How 'bout I give you the short version of somethin' else?" he said jokingly, forcing her down into the couch.

"Sawyer!" she shrieked, trying to shove him off her.

He climbed on top of her, holding her arms down. She grinned up at him, and he knew she was bound to start up her refusal any minute. Well, she could lie all she wanted and say it would be strange or whatever, but he knew that she truly thought otherwise.

"Now that I got you where I want you…"

"Cheater," she murmured.

"You owe me, remember?"

"Well who said that meant now?"

"I don't think you have a choice, Freckles."

She stared up at him for a moment, then broke her gaze and tried to wriggle free. It was no use, she was stuck. She turned her head to the side, looking at the floor for a moment. Then, she grinned back up at him.

"Fine," she said. Just as he was about to lean down and kiss her she opened her mouth to speak. He paused. "But if he wakes up, he's _your_ problem."

Sawyer scoffed and decided she needed to forget about Aaron for a while. And he was just the guy to help her with that…


	33. Chapter 33

Quickie:

**Jerseygirl92** - I'm pretty sure anywhere you look up Chicken Pox, you'll find Oatmeal as a remedy. Plus, having experienced the Oatmeal bath when I had the pox, I figured I'd throw in the personal reference.  
**xox-emily-xox** - Aw. Thank you for thinking of me. But please, no police. And pointless stories are fun! Know what? I have a chicken pox scar on the corner of my left eye. Hehehe.  
**LostSista** - I thought the immunization to _prevent_ the pox wasn't created when they were kids? Maybe I was mistaken. I'll have to check now.

I am SO sorry for the delay. I remain internet-less for this week as well. I'll try hard to find another source of internet so the intervals between updates aren't so terribly long.

**Chapter 33**

That night, Kate and Sawyer sat watching TV together, a bowl of popcorn between them. They were still waiting for the food they had ordered _an hour ago_ to arrive. Aaron had been put to bed already, after spending the remainder of day watching cartoons with Sawyer. Kate decided it would distract him from scratching – it didn't. But now that he was asleep, they had the rest of the night to themselves.

They were watching a movie that neither of them had really wanted to watch, but there was nothing else appealing so Sawyer kept it on.

"Bet that guy's gonna die," he commented, grabbing a handful of popcorn.

"Do you have to give a commentary every time we watch a movie?" she rolled her eyes, reaching back to scratch her back.

"Oh come on," he said, watching her scratch. She was wearing one of his shirts again, he noticed. "You don't wanna watch this movie just as much as I don't."

She laughed. "Well, I'm _trying_ to watch it."

"Oh yeah? Then what's that guy's name right there?" he pointed to the screen.

She quieted, and stared at the man. She honestly didn't know the guy's name. She knew she wouldn't win this fight, but she wasn't going to sit back and forfeit.

"Kyle."

"Wrong, his name's Adam. And that girl right there – that's Christine."

She stared at him, amazed and pityingly.

"Do I even want to know why you know that?"

"Well, if you'd been _following_, you'd know," he said, accusingly.

She smirked then picked one of the pieces of popcorn from her hand and tossed it at him. It hit his arm and fell into his lap. He stared at her in awe.

"You just throw popcorn at me?"

In response, she popped two pieces in her mouth. He nodded and looked back at the TV.

"You're gonna pay for that," he said.

"Oh yeah?"

He raised his eyebrows. "Yeah."

She stared at him, skeptically, but he only grinned. She reached back and scratched her back again.

"What's goin' on back there?" he asked, eyeing her suspiciously.

She grinned. "I have an itch."

"You catchin' them Chicken Pox?"

Her expression immediately changed. "I don't know."

She turned around and lifted her shirt up to let him examine her back. He sat up and positioned himself behind her to take a look.

"Damn…"

"Is it bad?" she asked, worriedly.

"Nah, you just have a really cute back," he grinned, grabbing her bare sides to pull her against him.

She jabbed her elbow backwards, causing him to let go, and pulled her shirt down again.

"Hell, woman. If you wanted to play rough, you coulda said so," he said, turning back around.

"Were there any red bumps or not?"

"No. Just looked kinda pink. Probably 'cause you keep scratchin' it."

"Just like you're scratching your stomach right now?" she grinned, eyeing his stomach.

He looked down and stopped his hand. "I ain't got nothin' on my stomach."

"Are you sure?" she said softly, tucking her knees under her as if she was sitting up to get a better look.

"Oh, you wanna see? Fine."

He lifted his shirt revealing only his tanned, but pink from scratching, stomach. She glanced up at him slyly, and then climbed over into his lap.

"Now you got something on your stomach," she beamed.

"I sure do," he said, sliding his hands underneath her shirt and up her sides.

She leaned down and, resting her hands against his chest, kissed him tenderly. His hands slid down again, gripping her waist and the kiss became fiercer. A loud series of knocks on the door interrupted them.

"I'll get it," she said, still panting.

Then, she held his gaze and slid her hand into his jeans to get the money. He laughed while she climbed over him and off of the couch to answer the door. Sawyer watched as she took the food and paid the all too observant delivery guy. She shut the door and sat down next to him once more, placing the food on the table before them.

"You know that guy was checkin' you out like there's no tomorrow," he informed her.

She smiled, uncertainly as she opened the bag. "Maybe he just liked the shirt."

He snorted. "Not the way he was lookin' you up and down."

"If it bothers you that much, why don't you go after him and beat him up?"

"Puh-leeze. I could care less."

She glanced sideways at him. "James…"

"_Kate_…" he challenged.

"Stop scratching your stomach!" she changed the subject.

He stared at her. "Sorry that I got an itch!"

She sighed and moved his arms away, then lifted the shirt up. She lowered her head so she could do a closer inspection. He smirked.

"Try a little lower," he teased.

"Pervert," she thwacked his stomach with the back of her hand, getting up and back to her seat.

"Ow."

He watched her curiously and she and her container of food shifted further from him onto the arm of the couch.

"Oh come on. You ain't really gonna sit all the way over there, are you?"

"Yeah I am. You can keep your Chicken Pox to yourself."

"Chicken Pox?" he looked at her wild with worry.

"Yeah."

He stared at her for a moment. "Bull puckey."

She laughed. "Look for yourself."

He sighed and pulled off his shirt to look, but saw nothing. When she saw this, she put her food down on the table and sat close to him again.

"There," she poked his abdomen. "And there. And there's one there too."

He stared down at the three dots. By tomorrow, probably, several more would form. _That damn kid_…

"Son of a bitch!"

She retrieved her food and backed up onto the arm of the couch once more.

"Looks like I'll have to draw another oatmeal bath," she joked.

"Yeah right," he said, and scratching yet again.

"_Stop_ scratching."

"It _itches_!"

She shook her head and went back to her food. However, a few minutes later, when she glanced his way, she noticed him starting to scratch more.

"Stop!" she urged.

"Make me."

Kate tried to grab a hold of his hands but instead, he had gotten a hold of hers. She tried to wrestle free, but, as usual, was unsuccessful. Finally, she maneuvered herself around so she was sitting in his lap, her back against his stomach and he had let go of her hands.

"There," she said, triumphantly.

He started to lift her shirt up.

"Sawyer!" she turned around sharply.

"Oh you callin' me Sawyer again?" he smirked. "What happened to _James_?"

She turned back around, her still bare back now against _his_ bare stomach. Suddenly, she almost felt aroused. She knew she shouldn't, but how could anyone control hormones as strong as hers?

"Well, well. What do we have here?"

"What?" she glanced at him over her shoulder.

"You might have to make that oatmeal bath for two."

"What're you talking about?" she said, suddenly panicked.

"You got a few spots here too."

She rolled her eyes. "Freckles."

He had to pause and take in the moment. He'd never heard her utter the word "freckles" until then. It sounded that much more exotic on her lips rather than his. Somehow, he would have to get her to say it more often. Then he remembered their current conversation.

"These ain't freckles."

Defiantly, she got up and went into the downstairs bathroom. He heard her groan from the other room, and smiled to himself, satisfactorily. She came back and sat beside him, frowning. He leaned back, folding his hand behind his head.

"So how's about that bath?"


	34. Chapter 34

Quickie:

**meijkej -** Yes, I realize that. But that's the beauty of fiction.  
**domaholic** - Read the above.  
**Mathildou** - It might be...  
**Lockefan - **In response to your PM, thank you so much! I love when you review. ;-)

Hmm. How ironic now that I have a bug bite that will NOT stop itching! I guess it's payback for fictional torture, eh?

**Chapter 34**

The next day was a difficult one, and only seemed to be getting tougher by the minute. Aaron was refusing to eat his breakfast, and Kate couldn't get him to stop scratching – let alone herself, for that matter. She gave him another oatmeal bath, and splashed some of the water on herself while he played. But after the bath, things began to go down hill. Aaron wouldn't stop crying for his mother, and she couldn't get his temperature to go down.

Also, as if she wasn't having enough trouble with Aaron, Sawyer seemed to be acting like another _kid_ she had to take care of. He wouldn't stop scratching all of the sores, and declined all of Kate's offers to draw him an oatmeal bath. To add to the day's miseries, his short-fused temper seemed to be in high gear. They were arguing, all of a sudden, and he became 'Sawyer' again – not 'James'. This time, it wasn't by accident.

"I'm sorry that you caught Chicken Pox, okay? But it's not my fault. And _I_ have them too!"

"Yeah, well, this never woulda happened if _you_ didn't bring a damn kid in this house!"

She paused, hurt by his words. Just what did that mean for the child that was dwelling inside of her at the moment?

"And how was I supposed to know that he'd get sick?" she finally said. She had to shout over Aaron's loud cries.

"I'm not sayin' you knew this would happen. But you're the one who brought him here in the first place!"

"And that makes everything my fault?"

"In a sense, yeah!" His head pounded with Aaron's screeching. "Can't you shut him up!?"

"I'm _trying_," she said, patting Aaron's back as he coughed, "but I need your help!"

"What the hell do you need _me_ for?" he asked, scratching his bare chest.

"Sawyer, if you don't stop scratching I'm going to call in for backup."

"_Backup_?"

"Jack," she said, threateningly.

His glare hardened. "Why do you always gotta bring him up?"

"Why does it always bother you?" she cleverly retorted.

"You _know_ why," he said in a low coarse voice.

She rolled her eyes. "Get over it."

With that, she walked around him and up the stairs; Aaron's crying echoed through the house. Sawyer sat down on the couch after getting a wet cloth from the kitchen to put across his stomach. He and Kate had discovered this technique relieved the itching. After a few minutes, Aaron's crying still hadn't stopped. And Sawyer's headache seemed to be getting worse.

"Don't you know how to shut that kid up?" he shouted to her.

He waited to hear a snooty response, but she said nothing.

"Freckles?" he called.

Again, nothing. That couldn't be good. He threw the cloth off of him and headed upstairs to Aaron's room. Aaron was sitting in his crib, crying his eyes out. He looked up at Sawyer as soon as he entered, and stood, motioning for Sawyer to let him out of his prison. But Sawyer was focused on Kate, who was lying on the bed, seemingly passed out. Panicked, he hurried over to her to wake her up.

"Freckles, wake up," he said, shaking her shoulders. "Freckles?"

Kate moaned and her eyes slowly opened. She looked up at Sawyer confused.

"What…what's going on?" she said sleepily.

"You all right?" he asked her worriedly.

"I think so…" she sat up. "What happened?"

"You tell me."

She looked around, uncertainly. "I don't know," she rubbed her head. "I guess I fell asleep."

"I think you passed out is what happened."

"How could I…" her eyes rested on Aaron. "I need to…"

He watched her struggle to sit up, but put a hand on her arm to stop her.

"I got him."

She nodded and slid back down on her side. Sawyer lifted Aaron out of the crib and in the minute that had taken him, Kate was passed out again. His heart was beating rapidly now.

"Hey," he said loudly.

She stirred and he let out a sigh of relief. At least she wasn't too far gone. Her eyes fluttered open and she stared at him, eyes wide, turning onto her back.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I don't…I don't know," she raised a hand to her head.

"All right, that's it," he said, shifting Aaron to his side. "Get up."

"What?" she gaped.

"_Get up_," he repeated.

She sighed and got up, but as soon as she stood, she immediately sat back down and gripped the edge of the bed. Her breathing was heavy.

"What?" he asked, worry quickly consuming him again.

"Dizzy."

"All right. We'll take it slow," he said, holding his hand out for her to take.

She gazed at it for a moment, took a deep breath, and took it. He held onto it tightly before she could fall back down again. She glanced up at him, and they shared a long understanding look. When she broke her gaze, he nodded his head toward the doorway and slowly, but surely, they descended to the first floor.

Once downstairs, Sawyer had made her stay with him to find Aaron's car seat before going outside. He wouldn't risk her passing out anymore. They made it to the truck. And while Kate sat on the passenger's side, leaning against the window, Sawyer tried to buckle the seat into his truck. Aaron was put in the back of the pickup, watching Sawyer through the back windows. Finally giving up, Sawyer decided to just tie the seatbelt onto the chair. Kate's doctor was only a short ride away anyway. He buckled Aaron in and the three of them set off.

As he expected, Kate stayed quiet as she rested her head against the window. Her eyes were closed, but he saw her chest rising every few seconds. Her breathing still wasn't too good. He couldn't imagine what was wrong with her. His only focus was on getting her better – and scratching his pox.  
When they got to the doctor's office, the waiting room was completely empty. Sawyer sat Aaron down on one of the chairs, and sat Kate in one next to him. Then, he went over to the nurse's station. The nurse spun around in her chair to face him, confusedly.

"Can I help you?"

"Is Dr. Park in?" he asked anxiously.

She squinted at him. "Do you have Chicken Pox?"

"Look, is she in or not?"

"Sorry. It's her lunch break."

"Yeah, well she's gonna have to cut that break short. I got an emergency here."

"Sawyer, I'm fine," Kate insisted from across the room.

He shook his head, disregarding Kate. "You gonna get her for me or you gonna live with _her_ blood on your hands?"

The nurse looked around him and saw Aaron and Kate sitting in the chairs.

"All of you have it?"

Sawyer glared in response, which caused the nurse to have a change of heart and get up. She walked around the desk and opened the door for Sawyer to enter. He retrieved Aaron and took hold of Kate's hand, following the nurse into one of the empty rooms.

"She'll be right with you."

Kate sat in the seat, feeling an all too familiar wave of fear coming back. She felt like she was there for the first time again, and all of the feelings she had felt then came rushing back. Doctor Park walked in momentarily wearing a concerned expression. Her eyes widened at the sight of the shared Chicken Pox.

"Kate," she greeted.

Kate smiled in response.

"I was told there was an emergency here. But no one said anything about an entire family of Chicken Pox…"

"She ain't right, doc," Sawyer said.

"I'm _fine_," Kate insisted again. "You're overreacting."

"Why don't you tell me what's wrong with her," Dr. Park asked.

"She passed out twice."

"Well with pregnancy that's normal."

"Dizziness too?"

She paused. "Generally, yes."

"What about heavy breathing? And you can't tell me that when she passed out the minute I turned my back – that's just the pregnancy?"

Dr. Park quieted. "Mr. Ford, I'm going to have to ask you to leave the room. And I'll need you to take…"

"Aaron," Kate answered for her.

"…_Aaron_ with you."

He stared at her suspiciously. "Why?"

"I need to run a few tests. Do a few sonograms. Make sure everything is as it should be."

"I thought we weren't doing the sonograms until next week?" Kate asked quietly.

"Well, one week early won't do any harm," she smiled, then turned back to Sawyer. "Mr. Ford?"

He took a step closer to her and lowered his voice. "You're gonna tell me whatever's wrong with her."

"Is that an order?" she retorted.

"Damn right it is."

"Please leave us, Mr. Ford."


	35. Chapter 35

Quickie:

**SassyLostie** - Glad you like my "protective Sawyer". Hehe. I always like to hear that I'm writing these characters well. One of the insecurities about writing fan fiction.  
**LostSista** - Two babies IS a lot to care for! Especially when Sawyer is one of them. Hehehe. We'll find out what was wrong.  
**bonboni** - Hmm. There are some good combinations - like Sawyer and Kate. There are some bad combinations - like...well, you'll see.  
**sivan** - Nice to see your name appear in a review again. Don't worry about not being a frequent reviewer. I don't mind. I'm glad you're enjoying the story!

Well, I've finally moved into my new apartment, and I'm here for good. I haven't gotten internet yet, but luckily, someone has it in this building and I can secretly mooch off it! Hurrah! So I can get back on track with updates. Cue all the reviewers jumping with joy...Teehee.

All right. Enough of my rambling. I'm just stalling to keep you all from reading what you want to read. So..drumroll please! Oh, and enjoy!

**Chapter 35**

Sawyer waited impatiently in the waiting room, keeping Aaron quiet on his lap, letting him bounce again. He was holding Aaron's hands so as to keep the_ both _of them from scratching. He kept glancing at the clock hanging up on the wall, but each time only another minute had passed. Why was it that when something important was happening, time could never move fast enough?

Aaron soon grew restless so Sawyer plucked one of the "kiddy" magazines from the table and let him look at the pictures. He glanced at the clock again, but the hands didn't seem to have moved. His fingers tapped against the arm of the chair, eagerly. _What_ was going on in there?

After a half hour passed, one of the nurses came out and sat next to him, wearing a small smile. Her strawberry blonde ponytail bobbed as she glanced at her clipboard, then back at them. She had freckles, he noticed. Fancy that…

"Dr. Park wanted me to ask you a few questions, if that's all right," she said hesitantly.

"Shoot."

She smiled at Aaron. "How long has he had them?"

"Since yesterday morning."

"And you?"

"Last night."

"Have you ever had the varicella zoster virus before?"

He paused for a second, wondering what she was talking about. Then he remembered she was a nurse and she wouldn't use the common terms. She had to be elaborate and _medicinal_.

"No."

"Okay, that's good." She quieted as she wrote things down on her clip board. She smiled up at them again. "That's all I need."

"Hey," he called as she started to walk to the door. "You know anything 'bout her?"

"No," she said after a pause. "But if I find out anything, you'll be the first to know."

He looked away, his expression pained. He had to give her credit for trying. But who better than he knew when someone was lying? No one would tell him what was going on, and he needed to know that Kate was going to be okay. He sighed. He knew it would be only a matter of time before there'd be another disturbance. But so soon?

Sawyer spotted Dr. Park coming out from the room she was in with Kate and walk over to speak with the nurse at the station. His heart began to thump against his chest rapidly. He grew quickly impatient and stared her down until she turned and headed toward the door to him. He sat up straighter as she got closer and tried to, but couldn't, read her expression. It looked like a mix of sympathy and concern, but he couldn't be sure.

"You can go see her now, Mr. Ford."

He leapt up from his chair to follow her, moving Aaron to his side again and holding him with one arm. Aaron frowned, not quite done with his magazine yet, and began to whine. She stopped at the door and turned toward him.

"Why don't I take Aaron from you? I'll check him out in the other room and make sure he's all right."

He looked down at the boy, curiously, then back at her and agreed. He handed Aaron over to her and she smiled at him. They walked through the door and to the room he was in over a half hour ago. Dr. Park nodded and left him on his own. He watched her until she disappeared into the room beside them, and opened the door.

Kate was lying on the bed, somewhat curled up. Her pained eyes focused on the floor, and her eyebrows were scrunched. She was in a hospital gown – white with blue dots sprinkled all over it. Her clothes were in a pile on the chair beside the counter. Sawyer stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked over to her. Now that he had a better view, he noticed her distress and he could see she was clearly fighting back tears.

"You all right, Freckles?" he said quietly.

"She said it was just over-exhaustion," she said in a solemn voice.

"Oh."

She finally lifted her eyes to his and her lips started to quiver. She tore her eyes away from his and stared at the floor again. The tears instantly filmed over her eyes. He leaned down closer to her, his heart filling with dread.

"What's wrong?"

Instead of saying anything, she turned her face into the pillow and began to sob uncontrollably. He put a hand on her back and smoothed her hair down with the other. He could only guess what was wrong. _Again_, he thought.  
She turned over and looked up at him with teary eyes. Her sobs quieted and she swallowed a few times, trying to breathe.

"Dr. Park…ran some tests," she finally managed to get out.

"Okay…" his eyebrows lowered.

"She said…" she looked down again, her lips beginning to tremble more. "She said that it's…that it's going to affect the pregnancy."

"What is?"

"The Chicken Pox, James!" she cried.

"Oh," he said quickly. He should have figured. While she silently wept, he realized that his assumption had been wrong. He wished he could have been relieved to hear it…

"She said that it might be born with deformities or…there might be complications, or something, I don't know…" she said, the last few words breaking off into another sob.

He looked down at the floor, then back at her, uneasily. "Deformed?"

"What're we gonna do?" she cried in a whisper.

He let out a long unsteady breath. "I don't know."

"Do you think…should we still…"

"I don't know," he repeated.

She glanced at the floor again, then around the room.

"I don't know if I want this anymore," she admitted. When he didn't say anything, she added, "There's so much I still don't know…"

"Yeah…"

"I'm still…" she trailed.

"Scared?" he offered.

She lowered her eyes to the floor once more and pressed her lips together.

"Yeah."

"Me too," he finally confessed.

Her eyes raised to his again, shocked. "You are?"

"Scared to death." A moment of silence passed as he stared down at the floor angry and saddened. "I don't wanna turn into my father."

She stared at him sympathetically, fighting back more tears. "You won't."

"I might. And I don't want it to happen. But whose to say I have any control over that?"

"You're a different man, James," she said, sitting up.

"How do _you_ know?" he said bitingly. "_I _don't even know."

She said nothing. There was no arguing with that fact.

"And I don't wanna know."

She swallowed and looked down. "Are you saying you don't want to do this anymore?"

He didn't answer her.

"I don't think I do either," she said after a long silence.

"You don't?"

"No," she shook her head. "At least…not yet."

"Yeah," he agreed quietly.

Just then, Dr. Park returned to the room and their heads turned. Kate's brow furrowed when she saw the doctor empty handed. Park immediately caught on.

"I left Aaron with Amy," she explained. When she saw Sawyer's confused face, she added, "The nurse you spoke with a little while ago. He seems to be doing okay with the pox. I have a few prescriptions here for you. One is for him, and one is for the two of you. It's a cream that will relieve the itching, and it will get rid of the pox faster. Plus, it's easier than taking ten baths a day. Not to mention all of the oatmeal you'll save," she smiled.

Kate put on a small smile. "Thank you."

Dr. Park's expression changed into an understanding one. "Have you two decided what you'd like to do?"

Kate glanced at Sawyer uncertainly only to be met with the same look. They both knew what they wanted to do. _And it was for the best_, Kate thought. _Wasn't it?_ She took a deep breath before speaking.

"I don't think either of us is ready for this," she said softly.

"I understand. But I strongly urge you to reconsider. There is no definite confirmation of any trauma yet, and - "

Kate shook her head. "I can't," she said, barely audible.

Dr. Park nodded, disappointedly. "Okay." She paused. "Well, if you like, we could postpone the procedure and keep a close watch on the fetus. I'll monitor it's progression through the rest of the first trimester and we'll see what the outcome is. As I've said, it's only at high risk. That doesn't mean that it's definite."

Kate looked to Sawyer to see his reaction. He raised his eyebrows, seeming to leave the decision up to her.

"It's only five weeks more. You'll be giving this baby another chance. What have you got to lose?"

Dr. Park's last words had a great impact on Kate's thoughts. It seemed to be a theme throughout her life – second chances. And she was right. There was nothing to lose – except the baby, of course. Which…wouldn't be the end of the world…would it?

"Okay," Kate said.


	36. Chapter 36

Quickie:

**bonboni** - You can see that she doesn't want to keep it, but Dr. Park convinced her to at least let her monitor until the end of the trimester. When that time comes, a decision will have to be made.  
**sivan** - Oh old memories. The fortune teller's words may or may not have correlation with the pregnancy situation. However, it may or may not be something completely different as well. That's the trick of it. You never know because I'm just so darn tricksy! Teehee. As for Jack and Ally, I'm not sure at this point if they'll return. I'm still pondering it. Johanna and Kate's probation I've dismissed because I had forgotten about that, but it's still on my mind, so we'll see.

Everyone has such views on abortion. I love it. Hehehe. For the record, I myself am on the borderline with it. I don't oppose it, but I'm not completely for it. But you know, this is completely beside the point so we won't continue this. Not that I haven't enjoyed everyone's re_veiws_. Heh.

I'm getting angsty Skate requests...I'm getting fluffy Skate requests. I wonder if I can magically do both in one chapter? giggle

**Chapter 36**

Upon arriving home, Kate took Aaron up to his room for a nap. He was still cranky and trying to scratch his pox, so she used the cream they had just purchased to relieve the itchiness. He fell asleep almost instantly, and she crept back downstairs. She found Sawyer sitting outside on the patio, swinging with a bottle of alcohol. He glanced at her as she sat down beside him, then stared back out at the horizon.

"You okay?" she asked softly.

"Fine."

There was a long silence between them, and all that could be heard was the rocking of the swing – back and forth, back and forth.

"Do you think we're doing the right thing?" Kate asked suddenly.

Sawyer's response was the sloshing of the liquor as he took a long gulp of it. She sat back and looked out at the forest, deciding not to push any further. When she was certain he wasn't paying attention, she pulled out a small folded paper from her pocket, and opened it. Sawyer glanced down at her upon hearing the rustling.

"What d'ya got there?" he said quietly.

She shook her head and started to fold it again. "Nothing."

Sawyer plucked it from her hand before she could protest and unfolded it. It was a picture of a sonogram.

"Where'd you get this?" he asked, surprised.

She looked down. "At the doctor's office. Dr. Park printed it out for me while running the tests."

Sawyer looked down at it again, trying to make out what was what. Kate looked up finally, but only at the photo. Sawyer pointed at it.

"Is that…"

She smiled slightly. "Yeah. That's the head."

His eyebrows rose. "It is?"

She nodded. "And there is what's supposed to be the feet," she pointed.

"Really…"

She looked up at him and saw his awestruck expression. A smile formed across her face. He glanced at her, then away, embarrassedly, and handed her back the paper. She stared down at it for a few more moments then folded it again and set it on the swing between them. She leaned forward, leaning her elbows on her knees.

"It's not the end of the world, right?" she said, looking down. "I mean, we could always just…try again. I-if we wanted to."

"Could we?" he asked cynically.

Kate frowned, knowing as well as he did that their chances had grown thin. With this realization came sudden tears of grief. They were silent, and she preferred it that way. She didn't want to upset Sawyer anymore. The sound of Aaron crying from upstairs filled her ears. Thankful for an excuse to leave before he could discover her tears, she rose.

"I'll get him," she said softly.

Sawyer watched her walk inside and sighed. He looked down at her empty seat and saw the photograph still sitting there. He picked it up and looked at it again. They were doing the right thing. Weren't they? 

* * *

The next night, Charlie and Claire returned from their honeymoon in the Alps. (They claimed they had had enough of island paradises.) They were shining with happiness, and that only heightened when they were reunited with Aaron. Sawyer noticed Kate's smile and behavior was entirely staged and with just reasoning. He had to give her credit though – Charlie and Claire seemed to be buying it. He was annoyed to learn they had to spend one more night at his house, but, privately, Kate reassured him they would be gone before he woke the next morning.

Since the visit to Dr. Park, they hadn't been acting the same towards each other. Kate grew distant and kept making small talk with the Pace's. He shrugged it off, knowing it was just her way of keeping her mind off their situation. But whatever was to happen once Charlie and Claire left, he didn't want to contemplate. He knew they wouldn't be able to escape each other anymore. And the situation would arise again.  
He sat thinking about their decision. At the time, it seemed the right thing to do. If there was any trauma, there would be no child. But if there wasn't, would there be? He didn't think so. Kate didn't want it anymore, and it was ultimately her decision. It was her body, after all. He _thought_ he didn't want it either. He couldn't risk being a terrible father, and there was no way to find out if he wouldn't be. But maybe…just maybe, there was a small part of him that did. Perhaps, inside, he kind of wanted to see a little rug rat of theirs running around the house. He would never admit it to Kate. But he had grown somewhat fond of the idea. That is…until they went to Dr. Park…

Then, the more he thought about it, the more he had to wonder if their choice was the right one. He didn't mean to be so superficial, but how could she expect him to raise a kid with three fingers, or no hair, or one leg, or – okay, now he was really being shallow. The doctor had said deformities _or_ complications. Complications – what did that mean? Did that mean it wouldn't live past its birth? Did it mean _Kate_ wouldn't live past its birth? If that was the case then there would be no question about what they'd do. He wouldn't lose her to a _kid_.

"It sounds like you two had a great time," Kate was saying.

Sawyer had forgotten he'd been sitting on the couch beside her and that they were discussing the newlyweds' honeymoon. He couldn't be bothered to listen, but her voice brought him out of his trance.

"Oh it was amazing," Claire said. "Lots of beautiful white snow – the powdery kind. And there was a fireplace in our room. And complementary hot cocoa and all kinds of things."

Kate looked down and smiled. Sawyer noticed that for the first time all night, it was a real smile. She snuck a glance at him and he finally understood. They shared a secret moment of reminisce.

"You'll have to go there sometime," Charlie said. "I highly recommend it."

"Maybe for your own honeymoon," Claire suggested with a smile.

Kate and Sawyer's heads simultaneously snapped up. They exchanged a quick glance, then Kate shifted uncomfortably and Sawyer turned his head away.

"Or…or not," Claire tried to save herself.

There was a long awkward silence in the room until Kate cleared her throat.

"It's um…it's something to consider."

"Well I definitely would," Charlie tried to break the tension.

"I'm going to go put Aaron to bed," Claire said, quietly.

Charlie and Kate watched her disappear upstairs then faced each other again. Kate smiled politely.

"So…" Charlie started. "No marriage then? Or just not yet?"

Kate looked down, wishing these two would just drop the subject. Charlie evidently caught on.

"Even with a little one coming?"

Sawyer instantly got up and left the room. Kate watched him, frowning. Charlie glanced at her, confused.

"What's _that_ about?"

Kate shook her head. "I'm sorry, Charlie."

She too rose and went into the kitchen where she'd seen Sawyer head. He was outside now and walking toward his shed. She stood outside on the patio, watching him fling open the doors angrily. She jumped a moment later, when she heard a loud bang.

Cautiously, she walked over toward the shed, following the sounds of Sawyer's grunts. When she reached the opened doors, she stopped and looked in. Sawyer was leaning his lower back against the tool bench, gripping it tightly. In front of him lay a pile of long broken pieces of wood.

Kate stared at him sympathetically. He looked up at her finally, his eyebrows lowered over his pained bluegreen eyes. She walked over to him and stepped over the pile. They stared at each other for a moment, aggrieved. Then, slowly, Kate wrapped her arms around him and rested her head against his chest in a loving hug. He lowered his head against hers, hearing her breathing keeping rhythm with his.


	37. Chapter 37

Quickie:

**SassyLostie** - It_ was_ a little weird for Sawyer to be so outwardly upset. But as it said in the chapter, Kate was trying to compose herself for the sake of Charlie and Claire. And of course we all know how good she is with secrecy. Sawyer, on the other hand...

All righty guys. Buckle your seatbelts. It's gonna be one hell of a ride!

**Chapter 37**

The next morning, Sawyer woke up before Kate and headed down the hall. He glanced in the room that Charlie and Claire had stayed in and saw it was empty and perfectly clean. He sighed in relief, glad to have his house back. Now he could really enjoy being home again.

While he started to make a pot of coffee, he realized the house was eerily quiet. Without Aaron, there was no noise, and he'd forgotten that fact. Hell. Did he actually _miss_ the little guy? Well, maybe a little. He knew he wouldn't miss reading The Three Little Pigs to him, but the kid definitely left his mark. _Quite literally too,_ Sawyer thought while he scratched at the pox as he sat down at the table.

"Stop that," Kate said upon entering, proceeding to yawn.

Sawyer obeyed and followed her with his eyes as she walked over to the counter. He watched her fill a cup and take a roll. That was when he realized – she was starting to put on the first few pounds. She wasn't too noticeably heavier, but she wasn't the usual stick she always was. She turned around and caught him staring.

"What?"

He opened his mouth to speak but stopped himself, knowing it probably was _not_ the best thing to say right now. No, it wasn't the best thing to say _ever_.

"Nothin'."

She looked down and sat across from him. He knew exactly what was coming and instantly filled with dread.

"Look," she started. "Instead of talking about it, and thinking about it, let's just not."

Maybe not. "Okay."

"And, when the time comes for us to make another decision…we'll…make it. It'll be a lot easier than pining over it for the next few weeks."

"Yeah."

"I, uh," she paused, pushing her hair behind her ears. "I do have one question though."

"What's that?"

"What was that about last night?"

He didn't answer her, but instead got up and helped himself to a cup of coffee. He held it for a moment, then turned around leaning against the counter.

"Just pent up anger."

"Anger at what?"

He sipped his coffee.

"At Charlie and Claire?"

He sighed, still refusing to answer. Kate paused too, before continuing.

"At me?" she asked, keeping her eyes on the floor.

"No."

She looked up at him.

"I was just angry about what happened."

She smiled sheepishly. "The way you behaved with Aaron, I'd think you'd be relieved."

"I am," he said too quickly. "I _was_. I don't know."

She nodded in understanding. "We won't talk about it anymore."

"Good."

He walked back over to the table and sat with her. They were awkwardly quiet, unsure of what to say or do now that it was only the two of them. Kate picked at the roll she had taken and ate little bites of it. Only moments later, she hurriedly got up and ran to the bathroom. Sawyer forgot she still had morning sickness. Probably because he wasn't able to focus entirely on her for the past few days. Kate returned and sat with him again, forcing a smile.

"Can't wait until _that's_ over," she tried.

He grunted, staring into his coffee cup.

"This doesn't have to be so awkward, you know."

"It ain't."

"Feels like it."

"Why?"

"'Cause it's so quiet."

"That's just 'cause Huey ain't here anymore. You got used to the noise."

She smiled. "I do miss him. A little."

"Well, every time you go to scratch one of those pox, you can remember him," he joked.

She looked down, not wanting to think about the pox. If she thought about them, she'd think about the child – something she really hadn't wanted to do anymore.

Mackenzie wandered into the kitchen and toward Sawyer. Without thinking, he reached down and gave the cat a pet. Kate noticed and smiled.

"Looks like you've finally warmed up to him."

He looked up, embarrassedly. "I'm not – "

"Don't try and deny it," she laughed.

"Whatever," he said, bringing his hand back up to the table.

He noticed quite a bit of the cat's fur clinging to his hand, and shook it off. The cat wandered over towards Kate now, and she scooped him up into her lap to pet it.

"See? All you needed was to give it a little time," she looked up at him.

He snickered and just shook his head. Noticing, she smiled inquisitively.

"What?"

"You're just really somethin'."

It was her turn to look away, embarrassed. She continued to pet Mackenzie as they sat in silence, shaking off the shedding fur.

"So, I was gonna clean out the shed today," Sawyer started.

"Oh." Mackenzie hopped off of her lap leaving a small mass of fur. "Okay."

"You wanna help?" he grinned.

She smiled. "What would I have to do?"

"Baby, you could just stand there and look cute, if you like."

She laughed. "All right. I'll help."

In a little while, Kate and Sawyer had formed a nice neat pile of firewood in one corner of the shed. While Kate started to straighten up his workbench, he began to pick up the pieces of wood he'd broken the night before from the ground.

"What was that, anyway?" Kate asked.

"Nothin'. Just extra wood."

"Looks like you had it cut to make _something_," she said, standing behind him.

"I uh…I was makin' another shelf for the bench," he decided to tell her.

When he turned around, she was practically against him. He peered down at her, and caught a glimpse of a smirk.

"That's all?"

He grinned, trying to play it off. "That's all."

She stared for a moment longer, then let it go. "Okay."

He sighed in relief, glad that she took so easily to his fib. He definitely hadn't expected that.

"You know, it's quite a lot of pieces for a shelf."

He groaned. Spoke too soon.

"What the hell does it matter what it was? It ain't nothin' _now_."

"Well, you were out here for a few days working on it. I think I have a right to be curious."

"Well maybe you oughta keep your nose outta other peoples' business," he teased quietly.

She grinned. "When it comes to _you, _when have you ever known me to do that?"

"Point taken."

They were silenced again until Kate suddenly let out a gasp of pain. Sawyer looked over and saw her grimacing at her finger. He dropped what he was doing and went over to her.

"What happened?"

She smiled up at him. "Maybe you should just mind your own business, James."

"Ha ha. Very funny."

She held out her left hand for him to see. In the center of her ring finger was a long piece of wood caught under the skin.

"Hell of a splinter, Freckles," he said, examining it.

"Here, I can get it," she said trying to pull away.

"I got it," he pulled back.

"I can do it myself," she tugged again.

"I said I'll do it."

"You don't have to – "

"Would you just hold still?"

"Really, I can – OW!"

He held out his hand and smirked, triumphantly. When she looked down at it, she saw the splinter lying in his palm. She grinned.

"Thank you," she said, defiantly. Then she started toward the house again to stop the bleeding wound.

"You're welcome."

He followed her into the house and into the bathroom downstairs. While she ran her finger under water, he rummaged through the closet for a band-aid.

"Damnit," he muttered.

"What?"

"They're upstairs. I'll be right back."

There was a short knocking at the door as he started to leave the bathroom. They stared at each other, quizzically.

"I'll get it," she said.

As he proceeded up the stairs, Kate wrapped a paper towel around her finger, and walked over to open the door. Her eyebrows creased when she faced the visitor. She spoke before Kate could.

"Lucy?"

Kate's eyes widened and she stepped out of the house, pulling the door _almost _closed behind her. She hadn't been called 'Lucy' in a long time.

"What're you doing here?" Kate asked.

"I was about to ask you the same thing."

"How did you find me?"

"I didn't come here for _you_."

"Hey, Freckles!" Sawyer called, armed with a box of band-aids. "Who's at the…"

Sawyer trailed as he opened the door and saw Kate standing face to face with Cassidy. As his face formed into a glare, Cassidy's formed a sly smirk.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he asked.

"Nice to see you too, Sawyer."

Kate stared back and forth between the two of them, confused. Then it finally dawned on her that Cassidy was here for _Sawyer_, and not her. Which meant that…Sawyer knew Cassidy? But…how? Then she slowly realized - she already knew the answer…


	38. Chapter 38

Quickie:

Hmm. You know, I just don't know what Sawyer was working on. ;-)

**Chapter 38**

Sawyer, Cassidy, and Kate had all migrated into the kitchen for discussion. It was silent for a long few minutes, and Kate kept glancing between the two of them. She couldn't get it out of her head that Sawyer was the man that Cassidy had been talking about – the man who she was still in love with, and whose child she'd been carrying. Was Cassidy still in love with Sawyer now? Was that was this was about? Or maybe, just maybe, it had to do with the kid. The irony was just a bit annoying.

"It's been a long time, Sawyer," Cassidy finally said.

"Not long enough," Kate heard him mutter.

"And how the hell did _you_ wind up here Lu – _Kate_?"

"It's a long story."

"Well, how 'bout _you two_ tell me how it is you know each other?" Sawyer asked.

Cassidy glanced at Kate, then said, "It doesn't matter how we met."

Kate shook her head. Even though Cassidy's intentions might have been honorable, Kate didn't intend to keep this from Sawyer. There was no need.

"We crossed paths a while back while I was on the run. I helped her, she helped me. Then we parted our ways."

"You _helped_ each other?" he said dully.

"I needed to get through the police to talk to my mom. She needed her _con_ to go through," she said teasingly, exaggerating the word.

Sawyer looked away angrily.

"Look. I don't mean no harm by comin' here. I'm just here for one thing," Cassidy said.

Before she could go on, Sawyer looked up anxiously and cleared his throat.

"Can you excuse us for a few minutes, Freckles?"

"Why?" Cassidy said, stopping Kate as she stood. "You mean you haven't told her about our _daughter_?"

His eyes widened and he risked a glance a Kate. Her eyes were a mixture of confusion, and yet, sympathy. He stared back at the table, pained, knowing this was probably just fuel for yet another argument with her. Well it'd have to wait until later – as usual.

"Kate, please?" he said in a quiet voice.

Respecting his wishes, she left the room and went upstairs in search of Mackenzie.

"Why're you here, Cassidy?"

"Clementine."

"Who the hell's – "

"Oh don't try and play dumb. You know exactly who she is."

"I already told you that ain't my – "

"Hell if she ain't! She's got _your_ eyes!" She added quietly, "And no one in MY family's got dimples so deep."

"So what. She's your problem, not mine."

"Like hell she's not!" She sighed, trying to contain herself. "Look, I want her to meet you. At least once."

He scoffed.

"Do you know how many times she's asked me where her _daddy_ is? I can't let her grow up not ever knowing you. I won't do that to her!"

"She's NOT mine!" he shouted, rising from his seat and leaving the room.

Cassidy lowered her head into her hands in frustration. Hearing Sawyer's shouting, Kate ventured downstairs again. She stopped midway seeing Sawyer at the base. He turned away and, instead, grabbed the keys from the mantle and left the house. Cassidy suddenly appeared in the doorway and she and Kate spotted each other.

"He just _left_?" Cassidy asked in disbelief.

"I guess so," Kate replied, heading down the rest of the stairs. "Is everything okay?"

"Just a misunderstanding."

Kate followed her back into the kitchen.

"Coffee?" Kate offered.

"Thanks."

Kate busied herself making a pot, while Cassidy took a seat yet again.

"Small world, huh?"

"Real small," Kate agreed.

"Never would've dreamt of seeing _you _here, of all people."

"Likewise."

"So how _did_ that happen?"

Kate took a seat and let the coffee maker do the work.

"We were both on the plane from Sydney – Oceanic 815?"

"Oh right. The one that crashed over the Pacific. Ya'll met on the plane?"

"Not exactly. We met on the island."

"He try and con you too?"

"Not yet," Kate smiled.

"Huh. Well don't be fooled by his charm. I was and look where it landed me. With a six-year-old who's beggin' to meet her jackass of a father."

Kate looked down. "I don't know. Maybe he's changed."

"Doesn't seem like it. He still won't see her."

"You're sure it's his?"

"If I need to do a paternity test, I will," Cassidy said, digging into her purse and pulling out her wallet. "But does she look like I really need to?"

Kate took the photo and stared at it. The little girl definitely had Sawyer's determined blue green eyes. And her dimples were hard to miss. The rest of her face resembled Cassidy's, but those eyes and dimples - it was slightly stomach-turning. She handed the photo back to Cassidy, having seen enough.

"I just wish he'd man up and take responsibility for his actions, you know?"

"Yeah. But…maybe he's just afraid."

"Afraid?" Cassidy laughed. "What world are _you_ living in?"

Kate got up to get the coffee, slightly disturbed by Cassidy's view of Sawyer. She wasn't even trying to listen to Kate reason with her. Sawyer really wasn't that bad. Well, not to _her_. But she just couldn't see him going back to his old ways. Not after everything they had been through, and all the progress made. He had definitely changed – and for the better.

To be honest, she already knew why he wouldn't take responsibility for Clementine. It was the same reason he didn't want to take responsibility for what would have been _their_ child. But at least with their situation, there was still a choice left. It was too late for him to neglect Clementine. And she realized, by doing what he was, he was only turning into what he was avoiding - the type of father _his_ was. Was that why he refused?

"I'm not saying he has to pay support or anything like that. I just want him to meet her. This way, at least she could go through her life having laid eyes on her father. Even if it's just once."

"Do you ever think maybe she's better off?"

"Nobody's better off not knowing their parents."

Kate looked down. She better than anyone knew that. Just look at what had happened after not knowing who _her _father was. Now he was dead. And it was too late. Cassidy had a point.

"If you just give him time, he'll come around."

"Looks to me like we're not talking about the same Sawyer."

"Maybe he's not the same man as he used to be," Kate said, realizing the truth behind her own words.

"You sure are defending him a whole lot."

"Because you keep putting him down."

"Well lookit what he's left me with. And I don't doubt he'll do the same thing to you."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"No, Kate. _You_ don't know what _you're_ talking about. He will take anything you've got and leave you on your ass. Probably with a kid, like me, if you let him get that close."

"I don't _have_ anything for him to take," Kate said in his defense. She wasn't going to sit and listen to this anymore. "I have nothing to offer him, but he's letting me _stay_ here anyway. Out of the goodness of his heart."

"What heart?"

"He _has_ a heart, Cassidy. Believe it or not. You just don't know him well enough to see it."

Cassidy sat back in her chair and stared at Kate in wonder. Then she started to nod.

"You've fallen for him, haven't you?"

Kate pressed her lips together. A long silence overcame them both.

"Look, I'm not tellin' you to stop lovin' him, Kate. I'm just warnin' you so you don't make the same mistakes I did."

"Thanks, but no thanks," Kate replied, coolly.

"I think I'm gonna head out. I have to get back to our daughter."

Cassidy rose from her seat, grabbing her coat and bag. Kate followed her to the front door to see her out.

"Can't imagine she's holdin' up well in that motel," she said bitingly.

"She's _here_ – in Tennessee?" Kate asked, quietly, hanging onto the doorknob.

"Damn right she is. And he's gonna meet her, one way or another." She turned back one last time before walking to her car. "Bye, Kate."


	39. Chapter 39

Quickie:

**LostSista** - Thank you for calming my insecurity about Cassidy's characterization. It helps - really, it does.  
**Jerseygirl92** - Cassidy? Leave a 6 year old in a motel alone? Pfft. No. I...just, didn't explain that. Doh! Another blemish to cover up..  
**Mathildou** - The three of them in one room together has always been a mind-blowing idea to me. I tried to be a close to realistic as I could with it, so I hope it worked. It'd be amazing to see it really done though. You know, if any of the producers happen to be reading this story by chance...;)  
**SassyLostie** - You know, what happened? You used to be such a dedicated reviewer and now I get barely anything out of you. Well fine. Go ahead and be cheap! Not like I _care_ or anything. You and your short reviews...pshaw.  
(Kiiiiiidding!!! I couldn't help that one.)

Well, well. I won't be around to update for two days. And if I forget, it might well be five... So don't let me forget! Then again, I haven't my own internet access yet, so internet is always here and there. Hopefully I'll be able to update again within 5 days. (_Within_, not _in_.)

My only words: I...don't like the unrealistic-ness of this chapter, but it's open to interpretation. Enjoy.

**Chapter 39**

Kate was left alone for a while, until Sawyer returned a couple of hours later. He dropped his keys on the mantle and found her in the kitchen flipping through a magazine.

"She's gone?" he asked.

Kate looked up, startled.

"Cassidy," Sawyer clarified.

"Yeah," she looked down at the page. "She's gone."

"Good."

He walked around the table toward the empty chair across from her.

"James…" she closed the magazine. "We need to talk."

He sighed, still standing and holding onto the top of the chair.

"Look. I didn't wanna say anything about it 'cause I don't want nothin' to do with that kid."

"No, not about that."

"No?"

"She's here."

"What're you – "

"Clementine, isn't it?"

"What do you mean she's _here_?"

"Here, in Tennessee. Cassidy's staying at some motel, and she said Clementine was there."

"Bull Puckey."

"She said that you were going to meet her, one way or another."

"She said that?" he said, disbelieving.

"Yeah. Why, you don't believe her?"

"Do you?"

"Well give me a reason not to."

Sawyer finally sat down, sighing. This was the last thing he needed right now.

"How long ago she leave?"

"A few hours. She stayed for about fifteen minutes after you left."

"And you two, what, talked?"

"A little."

"What about?"

"You, actually." She looked down for a second. "I guess you really must have hurt her."

He quieted. "Why do you say that?"

"The way she was talking about you. It was like she wouldn't believe that you've changed."

"Have I?" he said with a glare.

"What do you mean _have you_?"

"Whatever…" he muttered.

She stared at him incredulously. "Well if you don't think you did, then I guess everything I said to her is shot to hell."

He peered at her. "Why?"

"I _defended_ you, Sawyer." She got up, shaking her head. "I tried to tell her that you _have_ changed. But maybe I was wrong."

Sawyer watched her leave the room, disgraced. He was reduced to _Sawyer_ yet again. But this time, he decided she wasn't going to get the last word. He got up out of his seat and ascended upstairs. She was in their room, as he expected.

"What did you say to her?" he demanded.

She turned around, startled, but refused to speak. He walked more into the room, towards her, still glowering.

"What did you say, _Kate_?"

She tried to remain, unaffected, but blinked furiously.

"I told her that you're not the same man you used to be."

"What else?" he said, taking another step.

"I said she needed to give you time."

"_What_ else?"

Another step closer and then they were inches apart. She looked up at him, hesitating.

"I told her that even though she might not believe it, you _have _a heart."

"Why would you say that?"

"Because you _do_," she said, softly. "This whole self-loathing act has got to stop, James. It's not who you are."

"You don't know who I am," he muttered, turning away from her.

"Yes, I do," she said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

She walked around so that she was facing him again, and placed her hands upon his face.

"You're better than the man you used to be."

He scowled. "The man I used to be – "

" - is gone now. Maybe not entirely, but for the most part. And that's a _good_ thing, James."

He stared down at her, his eyes pain filled.

"Trust me," she whispered.

Kate leaned up and kissed him, softly and tenderly, with love. When she pulled away, he stared down at her for a moment, gratefully. Then he leaned down for another kiss, which grew more forceful than the first. In a minute's time, they were already pulling off each other's shirts, longing for the feel of skin. She shoved him lightly, breaking the kiss, then pushed him backward, sending him down on the bed.

It seemed like it had been so long, even though it hadn't. She let her hands explore his rock hard body as she kissed down his chest. When she reached his face again, she smiled down at him, and he admired the way her long brown curls poured over her shoulders and down over her breasts. He slid his hands around her face, pulling her down for another kiss, drinking her in. They came together, forgetting the pain from a moment ago...

Almost two hours later, Kate was lying in bed, and Sawyer stood next to the window smoking a much needed cigarette.

"Wow," he said suddenly.

"Wow?"

"Yeah. That thing you did…"

As he smashed the butt into the sill, she laughed and looked down, hiding her flushed face. He sauntered over and sat next to her on the bed again.

"Where'd you learn to do that?"

She turned on her side, leaning her head in her hand and looked up at him flirtatiously.

"Girl scouts."

He grinned. "You earn yourself a merit badge for that?"

"I earned my fair share of merit badges for _all_ kinds of things."

He raised his eyebrows, fascinated. "Like what?"

Instead of answering, she quickly jumped from the bed and grabbed her robe.

"I'm gonna go start breakfast," she said, tying the knot.

"_Breakfast_? At two in the afternoon?"

"Fine, brunch."

"You already made the coffee, hours ago," he pointed out with a grin.

She turned her head and glanced at him over her shoulder.

"Well if you want to know what other _merit badges_ I earned, I'm gonna need to replenish my energy."

He leaned back in bed, folding his hands behind his head. What a turn this day had taken…

Kate made her way down to the kitchen. The phone rang suddenly as she was leaning down to get a frying pan. _Who could that be?_ she thought to herself. _Cassidy?_

"Hello?" she answered it.

"Hello, Kate? This is Amy from Dr. Park's Office. How are you?"

Her stomach twisted. "Hi Amy. I'm good, thanks."

"Dr. Park wanted me to inform you that she's been examining the test results from two days ago. As it turns out, she hasn't seen anything that should provoke deformities or complications in the embryo or you."

"Okay…"

"What this means is that there is a ninety-eight percent chance that your baby – and you – will escape any deformities or complications."

Kate held onto the phone, speechless. Two days ago there was a huge uncertainty, and now there was a great chance that nothing would be wrong?

"Kate? Are you there?"

"Yes. Sorry. I'm here."

"I know there's that small percentage of a chance, but Dr. Park assures you that it's nothing to worry about. I'd have her tell you herself, but she's busy with a patient right now."

"Oh," Kate said, uncertainly, still not fully registering Amy's words. "Are you sure?"

"Positive. You should have nothing to worry about. Of course, Dr. Park will be monitoring just in case, but it's hardly an issue. Your baby and you should remain healthy and unscathed."

Kate dropped the phone and fainted. Sawyer heard the thud from the head of the stairs and hurried his way down to see if Kate was all right. He saw her sprawled on the kitchen floor, the phone at her side.

"Kate!" he rushed to her. "Kate, are you alright? Wake up!"

Slowly, she started to come together.

"The baby…" she whispered.

He stared at her, confused. "Okay. We'll go see the doctor right away."

"No, I mean the baby is _okay_."

"Yeah, but I don't know how hard you hit your head when you fell. We should go check it out anyway."

"James, you're not listening to me," she said, slowly sitting up. "_I'm_ fine. The _baby_ is fine! The doctor's office just called."

"What?"

"The test results. She said that she didn't see anything that would trigger the deformities or complications. We should be fine."

"What do you mean _should _be?"

"Well, there's a small chance, but – "

"How small?"

"Two percent. But that other ninety-eight says we'll be okay. The…the baby and I."

He looked away for a second. "Well, I guess this changes things a bit, don't it?"

"A bit?"

"Well, _a lot_."

He helped her up and they both took a seat at the table. They both avoided eye contact, suddenly. Kate looked down at the floor, while Sawyer stared at the table. She spared a glance at him.

"So now what?"


	40. Chapter 40

Quickie:

**SassyLostie** - That review was too short. ;)  
**jadeandsugar** - Wowza! That's dedication. _Master of Skateness_?? Aw shucks...

It's been a bit longer than usual between updates. So sorry. Nevertheless, enjoy!

**Chapter 40**

After a long silence, Sawyer had decided he needed time to think about what they should do now. Kate agreed with this, and then they were quiet once again. Eventually, Sawyer got up and retreated to the living room, and Kate migrated outside on the swing.

As she rocked the swing slowly, dragging her feet along the slate patio, Kate stared down at her stomach. It wasn't flat anymore. The baby was already starting to grow, as well as she. She wondered if Sawyer had noticed it – if it was _that_ noticeable. It seemed to be, to her. But she couldn't be sure. She wouldn't ask him, either. He'd just lie and say she looked the same.

Was it worth it to gain all this weight and go through all of the nausea, the cravings, the pain – for a kid? _Their_ kid. Fear flooded over her again as she let her thoughts consume her. What would she do with a child? She had no idea what to do with a newborn - how to feed it, take care of it, love it. She was still constantly learning how to love _Sawyer_. Another person to take care of might just wear her out. Maybe. She didn't know. She knew nothing about kids.

She'd learned how to change the diapers, at least. Thanks to Aaron. That was something. And she learned how to feed him, and how to make him laugh. Could the same things be applied to her own child? Maybe. Did she really want to find out? Why shouldn't she? And why was her mind suddenly filled with so many questions? Why couldn't she answer any of them? Kate sighed, wishing she could figure out what she really wanted to do.

Sawyer, on the other hand, was flipping through channel after channel after channel, trying to find something to set his mind on. And then he realized that he couldn't set his mind on anything because his mind was stuck on wondering what to do about the kid. _Their_ kid, he had to remind himself. He didn't know if he really wanted to have this kid anymore. He thought he had made that clear to himself when he said it aloud to Kate in the doctor's office – but apparently, his mind had other ideas. He wanted the kid, he didn't want the kid. It was a constant argument in his head. And he couldn't decide which side to stick with.

One side of him said _yes_, he wanted to keep this child. It would be another adventure for him and Kate to pursue. Another way to bring them closer – not that they weren't close enough, but physical and sexual closeness sometimes couldn't take the win. Apart from that, he wanted to see a kid of theirs running around the house. A part of him and a part of Kate all in one - something truly special. And maybe he had even enjoyed reading to Aaron, as much as he despised the book. He created a bond with Aaron during his stay, although, he would never admit it.

The other side of him said _no_, he wanted to be done with this whole kid business and go on with his already happy life with Kate. They didn't need a kid to prove anything. Not to mention the very _high_ possibility that he could turn out just like his father. He wouldn't want to make a kid suffer the same way he had. Nor Kate. But was it preventable? Could you escape the inevitable fate of genetics? Probably not. But either way he didn't want to find out. And anyway, what the hell would _he_ do with a kid? They were always crying, and whining, and most of them were just bratty little things. Headaches are what they were - headaches that he didn't _need_.

And then…there was Clementine. He thought he had escaped that already, but of course fate had to come crashing down on him. And he knew from the moment he saw Cassidy at the door, he wasn't going to be able to escape it again. There was still a question as to what he'd do with her. Although, Cassidy had her heart set on him meeting her.

He tossed the remote down, frustrated, wishing he knew what the hell to do. When he glanced at the clock, he realized an hour and a half had passed. He wondered if Kate was having this hard a time deciding. When he turned around to see if she was still outside, he saw her standing in the doorway of the living room.

"Been here long?" he asked.

"No. I just…wanted to see what you were doing."

He turned back around. "Watchin' TV."

She hesitantly walked over and sat on the arm of the couch, a ways from him. When she looked at the TV she saw cartoons on the screen.

"Powerpuff Girls?" she smiled at him.

He glanced at the TV, then grabbed the remote and turned it off. The room was silent.

"So," Kate started.

"So?"

"Any ideas?"

"I got nothin'. You?"

"No."

"_Great_."

After a long pause, Kate asked quietly, "What about Clementine?"

"What about her?"

"Do you know what you're going to do?"

"No."

"Maybe you should figure that out first."

"I've been tryin'."

"And what's the problem?"

"Problem is, Freckles, I don't want nothin' to do with that kid. Haven't had to deal with her for the past six years of her life. Why start now?"

"Every child needs a father, James."

"Not a father like me."

"You mean a father like yours?" she retorted.

"What?"

"Because that's who you are, right now. You're acting justlike him."

"Where the _hell_ do you get off – "

"You're only becoming him by not taking responsibility for her."

"Oh, so now you're on _Cassidy's_ side?"

She forced her eyes closed, and opened them again to speak.

"I'm on your side, James."

"Then why the hell would you say that?"

"Because…you have the choice to stop it. You could give Clementine the father you never had."

"Why would I do that?"

"Well, I don't know, James. Do you want to be like him or not?"

He sank back into the couch, struck by the revelation. There it was in plain sight – he was his father. And he hadn't even realized it. His eyes filled with agony as he stared at the floor. Kate looked on, sympathetically.

"You don't _have_ to be like him. You can change, and be her father."

"What's gonna happen with us?" he asked softly.

"Nothing happens with us."

"Nothing?"

She laughed. "So you have a daughter. It's not going to make things between us any different."

"And what about…" he nodded at her stomach.

She looked down, then back at him.

"Well…who's to say there'll even be…"

"Right…"

"For now, let's just worry about one thing at a time, okay?"

"Yeah."

"So, are you going to call her?"

"No!"

"Why not?"

"Let her call me. Why do I gotta be bothered?"

"It will show her that you've changed?"

"She can wait."

Kate paused, trying to think. "It'll get her out of Tennessee that much faster. Leaving us alone again…"

She watched as Sawyer seemed to really think about that. That was the one thing he'd been desperate for, ever since they had gotten back from Los Angeles with Aaron. It hadn't even been four days and Cassidy was already at the door. Talk about timing. And the sooner he talked to Cassidy and settled this whole Clementine business, the sooner he and Kate could be left alone in their peace.

"Where's the phone?" he said, defeated.

Kate pulled it out of her back pocket and held it out for him. He stared at it, then looked up at her in disbelief.

"You had it the whole time?"

She smiled sheepishly. "I kind of figured you'd come around."

"And how'd you figure that?" he said, taking the phone from her hand.

Grinning, she slid off of the arm of the couch and closer to him.

"You don't give me enough credit, you know."

"Oh. Well ain't you the modest one."

She laughed. "When you got it, you got it, right?"

He put an arm around her, pulling her closer.

"Damn straight."

She leaned up and kissed him, then whispered, "Call her."

With that, she rose from the couch and exited the room, leaving Sawyer to make the call.


	41. Chapter 41

Quickie:

**SassyLostie** - Yay! I'm doing well with Cass and Clem even though you don't like them! Yay!! Hehehe.  
**Asherlay** - Oh then you're slightly ahead. Silly beans, why are you still over here?

Well, I told you that there were going to be longer breaks between chapters. I'm trying to keep to a 5-day schedule though so it's longer, but not TOO much longer. Enjoy!  
P.S. Sorry for the shortness. :)

**Chapter 41**

When he finished the call with Cassidy, Sawyer got up to find out where Kate had gone. He found her upstairs in their bedroom, lying on the bed with Mackenzie. Certain she was asleep, he turned to leave the room.

"Hey," she called.

He turned back around and she was sitting up now.

"How'd it go?"

"Fine."

She waited for him to continue, but he didn't, and her curiosity got the better of her.

"That's it? Just_...fine_?_"_

"Yeah." He sighed, and sat with her on the bed. "It's all good and settled."

"What's settled?"

"She wanted to make some sorta agreement about seeing Clementine."

"So what was all the yelling about?"

"Cassidy wants her to spend the summers here, and come for a weekend during Christmas vacation."

"Well…that doesn't seem so bad."

"Not so bad? I was hopin' that she'd be gone after that phone call. Guess it was wishful thinking."

"Wait. What are you talking about?"

"She wants to _leave_ Clementine here for the rest of the summer," he said miserably.

"What??"

"Yeah. You happy now, sunshine? Now we gotta take care of _another_ kid."

"What do you mean am _I_ happy now?"

"_You _wanted me to do this!"

"I wanted _you_ to _want_ to do this."

"Well maybe you shoulda listened when I said I didn't _want_ to!"

"_You _said yourself you didn't want to turn into your father! I was just assuming – "

"Yeah well maybe you shouldn't _assume_ things."

"I'm sorry that I was trying to help!"

"Don't be. Just _stop_!"

Sawyer got up and left the room, but Kate quickly followed him out into the hallway.

"Stop what?" she called.

His shoulders slumped, he sighed, and turned back around.

"Tryin' to help!"

She walked over, and they were face to face now, at the top of the stairs.

"All you ever wanna do is _help_. Maybe nobody wants your help, Kate!"

She stared at him, trying to hide the hurt in her.

"You think I don't know what you're tryin' to do? Helpin' people ain't gonna change who _you_ are, Princess, or what you done. So quit pretendin' you're foolin' everyone."

When he saw her look down without a response, he turned to start going down the steps.

"Is it so hard to believe that I'm trying to start over, Sawyer?" she said quietly.

He stopped on the second step and leaned back against the railing. Holding his attention, she gained the courage to look up at him again.

"That's _all_ I've been trying to do since I've been here. I'm not trying to change who I am, or what I've done. I'm _just_ trying to put it behind me and start fresh." She paused. "And you know - helping each other out - that's part of what a relationship is. You help me, I help you. That's how we take care of each other."

He lowered his gaze, slightly stunned by her words. After another few seconds, he looked up again.

"So what part of starting over includes havin' to help _everyone_?"

"_Everyone_?" she said with a laugh.

"Charlie and Claire?"

"They needed a favor. I was being a friend."

"I'm sure they woulda found some other _friend_."

"Well it was a good learning experience. And I think even _you_ managed to have _some_ fun."

"Tell it to the pox," he denied it.

She smiled. "The point I'm trying to make is everyone should be allowed to realize their mistakes, so they can move on and start again, and know better the second time around."

He grunted.

"Like with Clementine. You get a chance to start over with her."

"Who said I wanted to start over with her?"

"Don't be like that."

He sighed, and said quietly, "What if she doesn't like me?"

She grinned. "What's not to like?"

"You and her might have differing opinions, Freckles."

Kate stepped down the two stairs, and looked up at him, smiling. Then, she wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Well, either way you'll still have me."

He wrapped his arms around her back, and pulled her closer with a smile.

"Guess it's a win-win kinda situation then."

"Guess so," she laughed, leaning up to kiss him.

Just then, a knock at the door interrupted their moment. Kate looked up at Sawyer, surprised.

"Already?"

"I didn't know," he reasoned.

She looked up at him and noticed the uneasiness in his eyes.

"Do you want me to answer it?"

"No, I got it."

She nodded and released him so he could head down the rest of the stairs. Slowly, Kate went down the rest of the steps as Sawyer opened the door to meet his daughter for the first time ever.


	42. Chapter 42

You guys and these funny feelings. "Wait, is it really Cassidy and Clementine?" I must have done a real number on you all. And I can't help but giggle...

**Chapter 42**

Those few steps from the stairs to the door were the longest few steps Sawyer had ever taken. His heart pounded in his chest with fear. In a moment's time, he would go from being Sawyer to 'daddy'. The door was the only thing stopping the transformation from taking place – a thin plank of wood held up by hinges, and that was all. He heard Kate's footsteps as she slowly walked down the rest of the stairs, and knew he had to stop stalling. He reached for the knob and pulled the door open to see Cassidy and...no one else. Sawyer glanced around then back at her.

"She's hidin'," Cassidy explained.

And for a split second, he saw a flash of blonde hair by Cassidy's thigh.

"You gonna let us in, or are we gonna be standin' out here all day?"

Sawyer moved aside and let them in. Clementine clung to her mother, not sparing a glance at him, so he could only see the back of her head. Cassidy stopped when she saw Kate by the staircase.

"Hi, Kate," she greeted.

"Hi."

Sawyer closed the door and they all stood awkwardly. He cleared his throat.

"Sit, if you like."

And Cassidy did, Clementine sitting behind her a ways from Sawyer.

"Why don't you sit too, James? You're not so scary that way," Cassidy said softly so Clementine couldn't hear.

Kate and Sawyer exchanged a glance, both surprised to hear Cassidy say his name. Sawyer forgot she had known and it made things ten times as awkward. He sat down and Kate stood behind him, putting a comforting hand over his. He took hold of it instantly.

"C'mere, pumpkin," Cassidy said, lifting Clementine onto her lap. "There's someone I want you to meet."

Sawyer looked on, finally getting a full view of Clementine. Her wavy blonde hair curved around her face and ended at her shoulders. It was a darker blonde than his, he realized. Cassidy was right about her eyes, though. He felt like he was looking in a mirror in her eyes. They were the same color, same shape, and filled with fear. Did that mean he was as scared as she was then? Or was _she_ as scared as _he_?

"Clemmy, this is your father," Cassidy said softly.

They stared at each other, curiously. Clementine looked up at her mother in disbelief.

"Say somethin'," Cassidy quietly urged him.

"Uh…hi."

He saw Cassidy roll her eyes, but at the same time felt his hand squeezed by Kate's.

"It's _okay_," he felt her breath on his neck.

"That's my daddy?" he heard Clementine whisper to Cassidy.

"Sure is. Ya'll have the same eyes, did you see?"

Clementine looked at Sawyer again, and stared.

"And you know those cute little dimples you get when you laugh? He's got 'em too."

Then, Cassidy began to tickle her and she erupted with laughter. Sawyer took the moment to glance up at Kate and she put on a small comforting smile. He looked down. When she finally calmed down, Clementine looked at him again, shyly.

"What's your name?" Clementine said quietly.

He thought for a moment – there was no use in telling her his name was 'Sawyer'. Cassidy would put up a fight anyway.

"James."

"How old are you?"

"Pretty old," he said with a sigh. "How old are _you_?"

"I'm six."

Sawyer's eyebrows rose. It had really been that long?

"I just graduated Kindergarten."

"Well, how 'bout that?"

Clementine looked down, seemingly out of questions for the moment. Mackenzie walked over, spying Clementine. She jumped when he hopped onto the arm of the couch next to her, clinging to her mother.

"It's just a cat, baby," Cassidy explained. "It ain't gonna hurt you."

"_He_'s a very nice cat," Kate added.

Clementine looked at Kate now, appearing to just realize her presence.

"What's his name?" she asked hesitantly.

"His name's Mackenzie," Kate told her, lifting Mackenzie in her arms. She pet him a few times then spied Clementine watching. "Do you wanna hold him?"

Clementine looked up at her mother for her approval – Cassidy nodded. She put her arms out to take the cat. She held him carefully at first until he eased into her arms comfortably. Thoughtfully, she stroked his back and he began to purr. She smiled up at her mother, taking a liking to her new friend.

"Does he have any brothers or sisters?"

"No," Kate answered. "We found him all by himself."

"Where was his mommy and daddy?"

"I don't know."

"Are you his mommy now?"

"I guess you could say that."

She looked at Sawyer now. "And you're his daddy?"

He shrugged. "Sure."

Her little eyebrows creased. "Does that mean he's my brother?"

They all laughed. Cassidy explained to her that Mackenzie was not, in fact, her brother. It took her a few minutes to understand, but once she did, the room fell silent again. Kate pulled her hand from Sawyer's grasp, having an idea. He looked up at her, bewildered. Since when did he say she could let go?

"Would you like anything to drink, Clementine?" Kate asked. "Or maybe a snack?"

"Juice, please."

"Sure." She paused. "Cassidy, do you think you could give me a hand?"

After a moment, Cassidy caught on and rose from her seat. Sawyer stared after Kate begrudgingly. He wouldn't let her get away with this, later. He turned back, facing Clementine now. She was swinging her feet over the ledge of the couch. He sighed, knowing he was stuck, and decided he had to give into it.

"So…" he started, uncertainly. She looked up at him with bright eyes. "What, uh, what kinda things…do you like?"

"I don't know," she said, shyly.

"You don't know?"

She smiled a little. "I don't know."

"Well what kinda toys do you play with?"

"I have dollies."

"'Dollies'," he mimicked. That was something he'd need to ease into..._very_ slowly.

"Do you know how to play tea party?"

"Tea party…?" he grimaced. "I guess."

"Wanna play with me?"

"Now?"

"No," she giggled. "Later."

"Maybe."

"But you have to wear a hat and necklaces, okay?"

"What??"

"You can't go to a tea party in regular clothes. You hafta dress up."

"Why do I gotta dress up in a hat and necklaces then?"

"What else are you gonna dress up in?"

"Can't I wear what I got on now?"

"Nu-uh. You have to be fancy."

"I _have_ to?" he smirked.

"Yes. You do."

He sighed. "You're a trip, you know that?"

She swung her feet again, but stopped abruptly.

"My shoe's untied," she said, simply.

"So tie it up."

"I don't know how to yet."

He sighed and slapped his knee. "Put 'er here."

Clementine turned sideways so she could raise her foot to his knee. She watched, intrigued, as he tied the shoe in a few quick movements.

"There. Good as new."

"How'd you do that?"

"What? Your mama hasn't shown you?"

"She ties it differently. With two bunny ears."

"Bunny ears??" he shook his head. "That's the pansy way to do it."

"What's a pansy?"

"Uh…Well…" he paused, then grinned. "Ask your mother."

In the kitchen, meanwhile, Cassidy and Kate stood away from the doorway, talking quietly.

"What do you think so far?" Kate asked.

"To tell you the truth, I'm surprised he's takin' to her so easily."

"Well, maybe he realized it was time to man up."

Cassidy peered, smiling. "You had somethin' to do with it, didn't you?"

Kate laughed. "I might have given him a little push."

"Well, that's more than I could ever do."

"She's taking to him pretty easily, too, you know."

"That's to be expected though. They're two of a kind, you know?"

"Why's that?"

"You wouldn't believe how like him she is. She's stubborn as ever."

Kate smiled. "That sounds about right."

"Got a good heart though, she does."

"So does he."

"Yeah. I'm startin' to realize that. But I'm guessin' you had something to do with _that_ as well."

Kate looked down, flushing. "I don't know if you could say that…"

"Quit bein' so modest, wouldja? He was _never_ like this with me."

"Why does that mean that I changed him then?"

"Cause it wasn't 'til he met you that he changed."

"How could you be so sure? You haven't seen him in – "

"I haven't seen him since I visited him in prison. But that wasn't too long before he was on that plane of yours."

"What makes you think it was _me_? There were forty other people on that island."

"And _you're_ the one he wound up with."

Kate stared at her, then looked away.

"I think there's something you should know, Cassidy."


	43. Chapter 43

Quickie:

**SassyLostie** - Mm...yeah she might be a little old to be asking. But then again, like you said, she doesn't have any older siblings to teach her. And not that Cassidy hasn't taught her but...well you know what, it's just the way she wound up being written. xD P.S. - Remember it's Sawyer who said the Bunny ears was 'pansy', not me. Bunny ears are...kidney cute. :)  
**sivan8** - No such thing as a too long review. Just ask Sassy up there. Hehe.  
**bonboni** - Again. No such thing as too long!  
**xox-emily-xox** - Hmm. Who are you? Are you a new reviewer? Nyah nyah.

Well, now that you guys are all wondering what the heck Kate has to tell Cassidy, even if some of you may have an idea of what it is, I'm sorry to inform you that this chapter won't give you the satisfaction of finding out. I know. I'm horrible. I'm terrible. How could I do such a thing!? Don't worry. You'll find out, I promise. For now, ENJOY!

**Chapter 43**

Kate and Cassidy reentered the living room a few minutes later. Kate gave Clementine her juice and sat next to Sawyer on the arm of the couch.

"How's it goin', you two?" Cassidy asked.

"Good," Clementine answered. "He's gonna play tea party with me."

Sawyer hung his head, sparing a glance at Kate – she was repressing a grin. Damn her, he thought. She was always getting the last laugh…

"That so?"

"Uh-huh."

"And just when were you plannin' on havin' this party?"

"I don't know yet." She swung her feet. "Look! He tied my shoe!"

"Well that was nice of him," she smiled at Sawyer.

He shrugged.

"But he did it differently than you, mommy. He said you did it like a pansy."

She glanced at him, glaringly. Kate elbowed his back, teasingly, and he grinned at the floor.

"What's a pansy, mommy?"

"Nothin' you need to know about yet."

"But he said you'd know."

"Oh he did, did he?" she asked, staring at him.

"She asked!" he argued.

"Well, I'm glad you two could get to know each other better."

There was a long awkward silence between them all.

"How come you live _here_, daddy?" Clementine said, finally.

Both Cassidy and Sawyer grew uneasy, and Kate immediately noticed Sawyer tense.

"'Cause…this is my house."

"Why don't you wanna live in _our_ house?"

Sawyer pondered the question, trying to figure out how exactly to tell her. But he had no idea. He looked to Cassidy for help. She seemed about as thrilled as he was to hear the question.

"Well, daddy lives here, baby. With Kate."

"Who's Kate?"

Kate smiled. "That would be me."

"But why can't he come live with us?"

"And leave Kate all alone here?"

Clementine nodded, carelessly.

"That's just the way it is, Clemmy. You'll understand when you're older."

"Will I still see daddy then?"

"Of course you will." After a pause, she added, "In fact, how would you like to stay here a short while - a couple of weeks?"

"Are you gonna stay too?"

"Me? Why would I stay? Don't you wanna spend time with Daddy? Get to know him better?"

She crawled higher up on her mother's lap. "I don't want you to go."

Cassidy looked to Sawyer, but all he did was shrug. What did she expect _him_ to do anyway? He couldn't make her stay if she didn't want to.

"You'll have fun here, Clemmy. I'm sure he's got all sorts of things for you. And what about your tea party?"

Clementine frowned, and her lips began to quiver as she shook her head.

"You don't have to stay if you don't wanna," Sawyer spoke up.

Cassidy looked up, peering at him. He challenged her stare, however.

"I don't."

"Are you sure?" Cassidy asked.

"I want you to stay."

"I can't stay here."

"Why not?"

She exhaled, trying to think of how to reason with her daughter.

"Because mommy has stuff to do."

"You're lying," Clementine said, folding her arms.

Sawyer sat back, repressing a laugh. Maybe she wasn't as bad as he thought. She sure had a lot of spunk, reminding him slightly of himself.

"Why don't you just give it a try, okay?"

"I'm _not_ staying," Clementine replied, as a matter of fact.

"James, can't you persuade her?"

"She doesn't wanna stay," he reasoned. "I'm not gonna force her."

"So you're gonna take her side?"

"Well she's my kid, ain't she?" he retorted.

Cassidy sighed, frustrated, then turned back to Clementine.

"Why don't you just stay for at least a week? And if you don't like it, I'll come right back to pick you up?"

"No."

"What if he took you to the _zoo_?"

Sawyer saw Clementine's eyes light up and she turned her head sharply around to face her mother. His shoulders slumped.

"Really?"

Cassidy and Clementine looked at Sawyer, and he shook his head, sighing.

"That ain't fair."

"Oh, you wanna talk about fair, do you?" Cassidy challenged.

"Don't start, Cassidy. Not in front of…" he nodded toward Clementine.

"Start what in front of me?" Clementine chimed in.

"Nothin'," he told her.

"So what about it, James? You gonna take her to the zoo, or what?"

"You're gonna bribe her to stay when she clearly doesn't wanna?"

"It's not a bribe, it's…just…" she trailed.

"A bribe," he laughed.

"What's a bribe?" Clementine said.

"A bribe's when someone gets you to do something by giving you what you want."

"And don't you know that well enough," Cassidy muttered.

"You wanna talk about this right now, Cassidy? 'Cause I sure as hell don't have a problem with it. We can talk all you want."

Clementine gasped. "You said a bad word!"

"What, hell?"

"You're not supposed to say that! One of the boys in my class used to say it, and he got in trouble."

"That's 'cause he was dumb enough to say it around the teacher."

"James!" Cassidy warned.

"_What_?"

"Clementine, why don't we go and find Mackenzie?" Kate suggested. "Your mom and dad need to talk by themselves."

"You don't need to – "

"James," Kate said quietly warning him.

He sighed, and kept quiet until she and Clementine were up the stairs. Cassidy sat back, aggravated.

"So you'll listen to her, but not me."

"What?"

"Kate," she explained. "I tell you to stop – nothing. But then when _she_ tells you to stop..."

"Whatever."

"She knows how to work you, I'll give her that."

"Leave her outta this."

"Oh, I'm sorry. God forbid…"

"You see the door?" he pointed to the front door. "Anytime you're ready."

"What's wrong with you, James? You said the agreement was fine, and now you're gonna back out?"

"I'm not backing out. _She_ doesn't wanna stay. I'm not gonna force her."

"That's not the way our deal goes."

"Well maybe you shoulda figured in _her_ feelings. You can't just toss her around like she's nothin'. She's got a say in it too."

Cassidy stared at him, stunned. "Who are you?!"

"What? I'm just lookin' out for my kid. Ain't that what you wanted?"

She shook her head. "It's not that. When did you suddenly start to care?"

"What's it to you?"

"It's just not what I expected."

"Well I'm tickled that you're proud, or…whatever. Really, I am. But can we get back to the point?"

"What point?"

"Clementine doesn't wanna stay here."

"Well she's going to have to. You can't know her in just one meeting."

"Then we'll meet again some other time."

"Oh please. You say that now…"

"And you think I don't mean it?"

"Because you don't."

"That ain't true."

"Oh really?"

"Why don't we leave the decision up to her?"

"So you can get a free ride? I don't think so."

"It ain't about that. It's about her, remember?"

"I'm not gonna let her just choose."

"Some mother you are."

"_Excuse_ me?"

"You heard me."

"Don't you dare criticize my mothering habits. I have been raising her _on my own_ for six years now. And she is just fine."

"Then how come she's turned out to be less like you?"

"I can't stop genetics, James."

"We leave the decision up to her, or I back outta the agreement."

"Fine," she agreed, reluctantly.

"_Fine_."

After a long silence, Cassidy sighed.

"I know it was you," she said finally.

"What was me?"

"The money."

He glanced away, unwilling to admit it. She rolled her eyes, figuring he wasn't fully understanding her words.

"The account in Clementine's name?"

"What're you talkin' – "

"They wouldn't tell me who it was from. But I know it was you. I mean, who else would it be, right?"

He scoffed. "I didn't do no such thing."

"Fine. You can deny it all you want."

She swallowed, and refused to look at him.

"Thank you."


	44. Chapter 44

Quickie:

**SassyLostie** - You'll kidney never hear the end of it, as long as I remember. :-) Father-knows-best? Hang on there. I don't think he's all that developed! Haha. You're not really onto anything except that you notice how I forget to clarify things frequently. I guess I should have worked Cassidy's character more into a mother, rather than...well...Cassidy.  
**LordXwee - **I just want you to know that every time I see your username before the review I laugh. Hehehe.  
**lost-crazy** - 'pretty good'? That's all I earn from you? Darn. Now I have to go and work harder and write away every night so that I cacn get more out of you.

So remember when I said I'd be giving you guys freebies sometimes? Well...here ya go!

**Chapter 44**

Little rapid footsteps sounded the hallway and stairs until Clementine appeared with Mackenzie in her arms, and Kate trailing behind her. Cassidy and Sawyer looked up, and Clementine smiled.

"I found the kitty."

Cassidy smiled nervously. "That's very good honey. But, um, why don't you come and take a seat over here, pumpkin?"

"Okay."

She did as she was told, taking a seat on her mother's lap, continuously stroking Mackenzie.

"Your father and I are gonna leave the choice up to you. You can stay here for a little while with Daddy and Kate, or you can come back home with me. Okay?"

Clementine let Mackenzie go, and tapped her index finger against her lips, thinking.

"How long do I have to stay?"

"However long or short you want to. But only until the week before school starts again."

"Hmm," she tapped her chin, and looked at Sawyer. "Will you really take me to the zoo?"

He glared at Cassidy. "We'll see."

Once again, she glanced at her mother. Then, she put her small hands on both sides of Cassidy's face, forcing her to make eye contact.

"You promise you'll come back for me?"

"Of course I will," she said, peeling her daughter's hands off of her face and holding onto them. "And I promise you you'll have tons of fun."

Her eyebrows creased. "Are you sure?"

"Oh yeah," Cassidy nodded.

"Well….." Clementine looked down at the floor. "Okay. But you have to call everyday, okay?"

Sawyer sighed in defeat. Kate walked around the coffee table and sat on the arm of the couch beside him, lacing her fingers with his.

"Okay," Cassidy agreed. She looked to Sawyer. "Okay?"

"Okay," he said, dully.

"Daddy?"

Sawyer felt uneasiness in the pit of his stomach upon being called 'daddy'. He would have to get used to that, but he was sure it would take a while.

"Yeah?"

"Are there other kids around here too?"

"In the park or by the lake, probably."

"Can we go there?"

"We'll see."

"Hey, Clemmy," Cassidy said. "You wanna know a secret?"

"Yeah!"

"I think there's a good chance you might be a big sister soon," she said, glancing at Kate.

Kate felt Sawyer's hand slip out of hers, and looked down before she could see him glare. She felt his eyes piercing through her, but dared not look up. In a moment's time, Sawyer was up from the couch and excusing himself and Kate from the room.

Kate let Sawyer drag her into the kitchen, and then outside onto the patio to talk, without any protest. She knew it was coming. But she also knew that while he wouldn't have wanted Cassidy to know, she needed to. If Clementine was going to be a part of their life, then Cassidy needed to know that there was a chance that a child of theirs would be a part of Clementine's.

"Before you start to yell at me," Kate began. "You have to understand why I did it. I mean…"

Sawyer glared at her, without an idea of even where to begin. He walked to the edge of the patio and stared out at the woods.

"I thought she should know. I didn't…"

He then walked back to her, but he didn't open his mouth. He sighed, shaking his head, and walked back to the edge of the patio, sitting down on the slate. Confused, she walked over, standing a few feet behind him.

"James…"

"What're we doin'?"

"What?"

"_What_ are we _doin_'?"

She sat beside him. "What do you mean?"

"If we're still not even sure what we're gonna do, then you mind tellin' me why you told her?"

Kate stared up at the sky in thought. He was right. They hadn't made a decision, and she had already told Cassidy. Did that mean she actually made the decision, without realizing it? Maybe it was just a way of telling her that they _needed_ to make a decision already. But it slipped out so easily…

"I don't know."

"Of course you don't," he muttered.

"No, I really don't."

She lowered her head into her hand, resting her elbow on her knee, and faced him.

"I can't figure out what it means."

"What?" he stared at her, confused.

"It came out so fast, I just…" she trailed.

A few minutes of silence passed. Sawyer kicked at the dirt, forming a shoe-shaped hole.

"You really wanna do this?" he finally asked.

"Do you?"

He dimpled. "I asked first."

She smiled. "I don't know yet. It just felt like the right thing to do. Tell her, I mean."

"Why's that?"

"Well, if Clementine's going to be a part of _our_ life…"

As if on cue, the sliding door opened and Clementine walked out. They both turned their heads and she glanced back and forth between them.

"Mommy wanted me to make sure you were okay."

"Which one of us?" Sawyer asked.

Clementine pointed at Kate. Kate looked down, laughing, then smiled back up at her.

"I'm fine."

"What're you doing?"

"We're just talking."

She looked around. "Your outside is empty."

Sawyer looked around too. "Yeah. It don't get much use."

"Why not? Don't your friends come over to play?"

He grinned. "I ain't got many friends."

"Kate's your friend," she pointed out.

"She's a _real_ good friend," he grinned, devilishly.

Kate flushed, and forced herself to look away from him. Clementine smiled.

"Is she your _beeest_ friend?"

Kate looked up now and shared a long look with him. He smiled, finally.

"Yeah."

"I thought so."

He laughed. "You did, huh?"

"Yes."

"And why'd you think that?"

"Because she lives here with you."

"Just 'cause she lives here doesn't mean we gotta be friends."

"Then why else would she live here?"

"How do you know I ain't rentin' her a room?"

"Huh?"

"Never mind," he grinned.

A moment later, Cassidy appeared at the doorway to the patio. All three looked up at her.

"Looks like I'm missin' out on the party," she said, stepping out.

"What party?" Clementine asked.

"Not a real party, Clemmy."

"Oh," she looked down, disappointedly.

"So what's going on out here?"

"Just talking," Clementine answered before either Sawyer or Kate could.

"Well thank you Clem, but I was talkin' to them."

"Oh."

"Maybe we should go back inside," Kate suggested.

"Yeah," Sawyer agreed.

They followed behind Cassidy and Clementine and reverted back to the living room. Cassidy sent Clementine on a search for Mackenzie so the grown-ups could talk.

"Did I miss somethin' before?" Cassidy started.

"No," Kate and Sawyer said, simultaneously. They glanced at each other, weirdly.

"O..kay." She paused. "Was I not supposed to know about the pregnancy?"

Kate looked down, leaving Sawyer to answer her. But Sawyer didn't say anything either, so Kate was forced to take the initiative.

"I…_We_ don't know what we're doing about it yet. I shouldn't have told you," Kate confessed.

"What do you mean you don't know what you're doing?"

"We're just not sure it's a good time right now."

"There is never a good time for kids. Believe me," she said, glancing at Sawyer.

"Oh I believe you," Sawyer shot back.

"How far along is it?"

"Ten weeks," Kate answered.

"Well, hell! Two and a half months - you've almost finished the first trimester. That ain't much time to decide."

"I know."

"What's the problem with keepin' it?"

"We just don't know if we're ready yet."

"Which one of you ain't ready?" Cassidy said cynically.

"Both…" Kate said hesitantly. "Both of us."

"Are you sure about that?"

Kate glanced at Sawyer, but he was wearing the same blank expression as she was.

"Pretty sure," Kate nodded.

"Well what about Clementine now? You'll get some good experience with her around."

"Look, Cass, why don't you just leave this to us, all right?" Sawyer intervened.

"Fine."

"Good."

"Well, in that case," she said, rising from the couch. "I'll go get her things and check out of that motel. Then I'll leave the two of you to it."

"Hold it," Sawyer stopped her. "You're gonna leave _now_?"

"Why shouldn't I? I have a life to get back to, after all."

"What about Clementine? You're just going to leave her here?" Kate chimed in.

"Clementine will be fine. She's already taken a liking to you two and Mackenzie for that matter."

"You realize that by leaving so abruptly – "

"Don't try and tell me about my kid, Kate," Cassidy snapped. "You don't know nothin' about her."

"No, but I know you."

"And?"

"And if you run away this quickly, she's not going to be happy."

"As much as I hate to admit it, she's right," Sawyer agreed.

"Well, she's your problem now, ain't she?"

Kate narrowed her eyes. Cassidy called herself a mother? She shook her head in disgust, then glanced at Sawyer. He raised his eyebrows, out of ideas. He couldn't stop Cassidy from leaving, and at this point, it would be a good riddance. He just wished Clementine wouldn't have to pay for it. Cassidy walked to the door, but stopped, holding onto the knob and turned halfway around.

"I'll bring her things inside and be on my way."


	45. Chapter 45

Quickie:

**SassyLostie** - Well of course they're treating the baby as an item. Neither really know what to do, and they're afraid. But they do know that their chances are wearing thin. P.S. - Kidney. I'm not going to let you live that down, you know. Hehehe.  
**LordXwee** - I know how it's pronounced. And yeah it makes me laugh. I'm weird. I know. It's me, not you. P  
**bonboni** - I know I didn't do well with Cassidy's character. Something I realized too late. I wish I could have made her more human before I posted but...oh well. And about them giving up on the kid. They certainly CAN...but it's a question of whether they WILL.  
**Mathildou** - Again, did a poor job with Cass's character. As for the decision, where did you assume it's been made? I guess you'll see your mistake soon...hehehe.

Now, I know it seems like it's been a long wait. I'm sorry to have to say get used to it. I've been updating on another site and now you guys are finally caught up with them. So I'm going to try and keep to updating both sites at the same time. On the other site, the restriction for updates was one every 5-7 days. Right now, it's the same for you all too. Again, freebies are a possibility. I'm sorry if this is an inconvenience or anything, but the story isn't fully finished yet and I don't want to run out of chapters.

Also, I was recently asked by a reader via MSN how long this story would be. Right now, my ballpark estimate is about 60 chapters. Might be more. Might be less. But around 60. Figured I'd let you all know.

So...Yayyyy everyone likes Clementine! Good! Sorry this chapter's a bit on the short side.

**Chapter 45**

Sawyer and Kate remained on the couch after Cassidy left, in silence. Neither knew what would come when Clementine found out her mother had abandoned her. They could only hope for the best. But why was it that hoping for the best didn't seem to leave them with much hope at all? Maybe from experience with Aaron. Or so Kate was thinking. She looked up at Sawyer, and his expression was pained.

"Hey," she said softly to gain his attention. When he looked up, she said, "It's going to be okay."

"If she's as like me as Cassidy says, it ain't gonna be okay, Freckles."

"Well, we'll just have to deal with it in our way."

"And what way is that?"

Kate sighed. "I don't know."

"Right."

"Give me a break," she smiled slightly. "I'm trying to help. And don't you dare tell me not to."

"Wasn't gonna," he smirked.

"Good."

Clementine, having been present for the whole conversation between her parents and Kate, finally came out from her hiding spot – the top of the stairs. Slowly, she made her way to the bottom, and stood thoughtfully before them. Sawyer looked up at her, bemused.

"Can I help you?"

"Mommy left," she said.

"Yeah. Yeah she did."

"She'll be back though," Kate added, gently.

"I know."

"She's not leaving you here for good."

"I know."

"She _will_ be back."

"I _know_. When Summer's over."

"Right…"

"She said 'bye' already."

"She did?" both Sawyer and Kate asked.

"Yeah. When you were outside." She paused, looking around. "Do you got any toys?"

"Wait," Sawyer spoke up. "So, you're _okay_ with this?"

"Uh-huh."

"You're sure?"

"Yes."

"And how's she s'posed to be like me, exactly?" he whispered to Kate.

She laughed silently. "Did you bring any toys with you?"

"Just my tea set," she said, smiling widely at Sawyer.

"Oh no. I ain't doin' that _now_."

"We could play with my baby doll!" she cried, running to her bags. "Her name's Emily. Come on, Baby Emily. Let's go see Daddy."

Sawyer glanced at Kate, helplessly. Unfortunately, she seemed to be too amused by the situation to notice his dread. And then she came at him – the three foot terror armed with a pink plastic baby, whose rosy cheeks were brighter than the pink jumpsuit it wore and were coincidentally dotted with freckles.

He felt fear pounding in his chest as he envisioned the doll taking on a life of its own, crying and drooling and cooing. And, oh! The freckles – they reminded him of Kate, but then, it was his and Kate's child that was in Clementine's hands. And suddenly, he couldn't breathe.

Before he could stop himself, his arm thrust and his hand smacked the doll out of his daughter's arms and onto the floor. The loud thud it created snapped him out of his trance. He got up and walked out to the back yard for a much needed breath of air, and a much needed cigarette. Shocked, Kate stared after him, disregarding the appalled look on Clementine's face for the moment.

"Why'd he do that?" Clementine whined.

"Um…" Kate trailed. "Clementine, I'll be right back, okay?"

Without waiting to hear Clementine's answer, Kate got up and followed Sawyer outside. He was sitting on the swing, smoking a cigarette faster than she'd seen before. She hung onto the side of the swing, and looked down at him, but he wouldn't look up at her.

"What was that about?" she said softly.

He said nothing, and only continued to smoke. She stared at him, waiting, but got no response.

"James?"

Finally, he looked up at her, but a moment later, his eyes were back on the trees. Frustrated, she stopped the swing from moving. Still, Sawyer refused to look up at her.

"Sawyer, talk to me."

"I don't wanna talk, Freckles."

"Why not?"

"Just…forget it," he said, in a repressed voice.

She let go of the swing and walked in front of him, rolling her eyes.

"Sawyer, just tell me."

For a split second, she caught a glimpse of his eyes – they were filled to the brim with fear.

"What is your problem?"

"Nothin'."

"You can't just hit a doll out of your daughter's hands and expect me to think nothing of it." She quickly grew agitated. "Hey! Would you please look at me?"

"Just…leave me alone, all right?!" he snapped.

"No. I _won't_ leave you alone. Not until you tell me what it is that – "

"I _can't_ do this!" he said, loudly.

"Do what?" she peered.

In response, he looked at her stomach. She saw it and, too, looked down at it. Then, she looked back at him.

"You don't want to have it."

He sighed. "No."

She kneeled in front of him. "That's it?"

He exhaled, looking down again, and so did Kate.

"You know," she started. "No one said we _had_ to do this."

"I know that," he muttered. "But my word can't be the final one."

"No." She looked up at him. "But I'm not going to make you do something if you don't want to."

"Don't do that, Freckles," he said, finally meeting her eyes.

"Do what?"

"Make the decision 'cause of what I said."

She shook her head. "Why shouldn't – "

"It ain't up to me. It's up to _us_."

She looked down, smiling. "Wouldn't have expected that from you. Not after everything _I've_ put you through."

He smiled, slightly. "Well, lucky for you, I'm nowhere near as bad as you."

"Oh really?" she laughed.

"Hell, I might be bad. But you're worse."

"I'll remember that," she teased.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

Grinning, she stood again and walked toward the doors. But she stopped herself, and turned toward him again.

"Just wait until tonight."

"That a threat, Sassafras?"

"Let's just say you better be fond of that couch."

He scowled as she walked back inside. Instantly, he got up, following her in.

"Now hang on a tick," he called after her.

Just out of the doorway to the living room, Kate turned around, and leaned against it, waiting for him to go on. He slowly walked over toward her.

"I'd be careful of what you say, James," she said challengingly. "Your daughter's right behind me."

He glanced over her shoulder and spotted Clementine sitting on the couch with 'Baby Emily'. He grunted in defeat.

"Fine. But it'll be your loss, sweetheart."

She laughed. "A nice big bed all to myself? I'd hardly call that a loss."

"You'll see," he said, brushing by her.

Glancing over her shoulder, she watched him join Clementine on the couch, puzzled by his last comment.


	46. Chapter 46

Quickie:

**SassyLostie** - I'm kidney getting used to it to. It's gonna be a new fad. Hah!  
**bonboni** - No, they haven't decided yet.  
**LordXwee** - Ooh counting the days? I might have to persuade you to keep me updated with each review. Ha ha! Kidding.  
**LostSista** - He will, don't worry. All in good time...  
**lost-crazy** - Me too!  
**xox-emily-xox** - Sorry, Em. I'm immune to the jedi mind tricks. But I did realize that I named the baby doll Emily. And when I realized it, I thought, "Oh. xox-emily-xox's going to love this..."

I love all you reviewers. I really do. Hehe. So, Enjoy!

**Chapter 46**

Later that night, Kate lay in bed, trying to fall asleep. Sawyer had kept to his side of the bargain, surprisingly, and had taken up residency on the couch. As promised, she was left all alone in the king-size bed. As she turned on her side facing where Sawyer always slept, she realized the bed was too big. There was too much space in it for one person. Sighing, she turned onto her back again, and stared at the ceiling.

The house was quiet and all she heard was the chirping of the crickets in the woods. She could even hear the creaks of the settling house. Frustrated, she turned on her side again, trying to relax. The clock on the nightstand read 2:47 A.M. She sighed, and turned the other way, determined to get some sleep. However, it was no use. Now she was even more awake than before.

_Damn him_, she thought. She had finally realized what he'd meant when he'd said "You'll see". It _was _her loss. The huge bed felt so empty without him at her side, and she longed for his embrace. There were no comforting arms, or the scent of cologne, or feel of his hair against her forehead. She wanted to prove him wrong – she didn't need him to be there to fall asleep. He wasn't her security blanket.

Now if that was the case, she thought, then she would probably be asleep by now. As naturally as lying came to her, there was never a time when she could lie to _herself_. She knew that Sawyer's absence was the reason why she couldn't sleep, and she knew she wanted him back beside her. But she knew that if she did that, he would win. Her dignity would become non-existent, and he would be getting exactly what he wanted. Was it worth it?

As she found herself kicking the covers off and getting up out of bed, she knew the answer was _yes_. Quietly, she crept down the stairs. Halfway down, she stopped and watched him sleep. She noticed that he was sleeping on an actual bed, or at least as close to a bed as you could get. So, the couch had a pull-out. Why hadn't he ever told her that? This must have been the answer - so that when she had damned him to the sofa, he wouldn't be missing out on sleeping in a bed.

Watching his bare chest rise and fall, she crept down the last few stairs. She observed him for another minute. One arm lied on his stomach, and the other was hanging off the top of the bed. On her tiptoes, she walked over to the bed and sat on it next to him. He didn't stir, and she was thankful. She stretched her legs out and fixed the blanket over him, then pulled it over her. Before laying back, she pulled up the arm that was hanging off and snuggled into it. She rested her head on his chest, breathing in the scent of his cologne, and instantly felt better.

Still asleep, he turned on his side, holding her closer, and she quickly drifted into a sound sleep. 

* * *

The next morning, Sawyer was woken up by something soft against his chest. He looked down and saw Kate – her hair was the culprit. He smiled to himself, and brushed it behind her ears. She moved, slightly, and her eyes slowly opened. 

"Mornin'," he murmured.

"Morning," she smiled.

"Fancy meetin' you here."

She smiled, sheepishly. "Couldn't sleep."

"Oh? I wonder why?"

She shoved him lightly.

"I hate bein' right," he grinned.

"All right," she groaned, starting to get up. "I'm out of here."

"Where do you think you're goin'?" he said, pulling her back.

"Somebody's gotta make your breakfast."

"Who said I was hungry right now?"

He leaned down to kiss her, but she pressed her hand against his lips.

"Oh no you don't," she laughed. "Clementine's bound to wake up any minute."

"I'm already awake," came a voice.

Sawyer and Kate turned their attention toward the stairs, and Clementine came down.

"I've been awake since eight o'clock."

"What time is it now?" Sawyer asked, sitting up.

"Twelve twen'y-four."

Kate sat up too. "You've been sitting there all that time?"

"Mm-hmm. Baby Emily too," she said, holding up her doll.

"You should have woken one of us up," Kate said.

"I didn't want you to be mad at me."

"Well next time, don't worry about it. You can wake me up," Kate said, standing.

"Yeah. You can wake _her_ up," Sawyer added.

Kate rolled her eyes. "Come on. I'll get you something to eat."

"Okay."

Sawyer watched Kate take Clementine's hand and walk into the kitchen.

"Why were you and daddy sleeping in the same bed?" he heard Clementine say.

Groaning, he fell back into the bed, sighing. This kid was going to be the death of him. Rapid footsteps forced him to open his eyes again, and he saw Clementine rushing upstairs.

"Hey Speedy," he called. "Where you off to so fast?"

Clementine stopped midway, and turned around. "I forgot Baby Emily's high chair."

And with that, she was off again. Sawyer sat up, rubbing his head. Since when did plastic babies need high chairs? Just then, Kate appeared in the doorway, Emily in her hands.

"Why am I suddenly having a flash to the future?" she grinned.

"What?"

"Me with the baby, you lounging on the couch," she smiled, teasingly.

He turned away, rolling his shoulders. Kate frowned, and walked over to sit next to him.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothin'."

"Why is it that ever since she got here, you've been acting different? Like…some kind of zombie or something." She stared at the back of his head, frustrated. "You won't even look me in the eye anymore!"

Defiantly, he turned toward her and looked her straight in the eyes.

"What's the matter with you?"

"Nothin's the matter. It's just gonna take some gettin' used to."

"You were doing fine until she took Emily out," she said, looking down at the doll.

"It's just a doll," he sneered.

"Then why are you making it so much more than that?"

He only sighed.

"It's because of the pregnancy, isn't it?" He still refused to speak. "I don't get why you're acting like this." She sighed. "Would you please just answer me!?"

"I'm afraid!" he finally snapped.

She gazed at him, taken aback by his words. He sighed again.

"Well…why couldn't you just tell me that?" she asked quietly.

"You think it's easy to admit that?"

"It doesn't make you any less of a man," she smiled. "Besides, what's there to be scared about? You said you didn't want it."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean you don't. And…maybe I changed my mind."

"What?" she laughed.

"I don't know. I'm still thinkin'."

She nodded. "Okay."

They heard Clementine's steps sounding the stairs, and glanced at each other.

"We'll talk about it later," she said quietly.

But they _didn't_ talk about it later. In fact, they didn't talk about it the next day either. Or the day after that. Instead, they hardly talked at all. They spent their time on Clementine. Kate would take her out to toy stores, and had even taken her shopping for clothes so she would have some to keep at the house. Sawyer took her to the park to play, and to the zoo – as promised – which he even found himself enjoying (except when it came to the polar bear). He was spending more time with her than he was with Kate - which shouldn't have been a bad thing, but for Kate, it was. Her energy levels were quickly decreasing. The exhaustion brought on by the pregnancy wasn't helpful either, but it was the nightly routine that was more to blame.

At night, either Sawyer or Kate would tuck Clementine in, and then Sawyer would retreat to the couch to watch TV until he got tired. Kate would clean up any of the day's messes, or go upstairs to bed early. She never knew when Sawyer would come to bed, because he would always wait until she was already asleep. But every morning she woke up beside him, yet, not close to him. Most nights, however, he slept on the couch, and she got no sleep at all.

One night, Kate was awoken by a small squeak-like sound. She sat up in bed, careful not to disturb Sawyer - who had, shockingly, come to bed for a change - and looked around. There was a faint light in the room, which she soon realized was pouring in from the opened door. _That's strange_, she thought. He always closed it at night. Quietly, she threw off the covers and walked over to the door. There, she found the source of the sound she'd heard – Clementine was sitting outside their door, crying softly. She opened the door and Clementine looked up, her eyes puffy, and her face red and tearstained. Kate kneeled down in front of her.

"Clementine, what's wrong?"

"I had a bad dream," she sobbed.

Kate frowned, and smoothed Clementine's hair away from her forehead.

"Come on," she said, standing up and holding out her hand. "Let's go back to your room so we don't wake your dad."

Wiping her nose, Clementine scrambled up and took hold of Kate's hand. When they were in the room, Kate lifted Clementine back into her bed, and tucked her in again. She sat next to her, continuously smoothing her hair.

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

"There was a monster," Clementine said, sniffling. "And he was chasing me. And he took Baby Emily from me!"

Kate smiled. "You know…there's no such thing as monsters."

"I know, but he was scary!" she reasoned. "He had big yellow eyes, and HUGE teeth!"

"You know what my mom told me to do when I had a bad dream?" Kate told her, grabbing Emily and handing her to Clementine.

"What?"

"She said anytime you have a bad dream, instead of crying about it, laugh. She said to imagine the dream turning real, and laugh at it."

"Laugh?" Clementine asked, uncertainly. "But it's scary."

"Well, think about it. How silly would it be to see a monster with Baby Emily? Just running around with a baby under his arm, trying to look all scary. It's not very scary, now is it?"

Clementine smiled. "No."

"Pretty silly, huh?"

"Yeah. It's real silly," she giggled.

Suddenly, Clementine broke into a fit of laughter. Kate smiled.

"See? If you imagine it becoming real, it just makes you laugh."

"Yeah."

"Besides, I think you could beat up any monster that tries to take Emily from you."

"Yeah!"

"Do you think you can get back to sleep now?"

Instantly, Clementine's smile melted into a frown.

"I guess so."

"Okay. Good night, Clemmy," Kate smiled, tucking her in again.

"Good night." As Kate turned to leave, she called, "Wait! You forgot to say good night to Baby Emily."

Kate grinned. "Good night, Emily."

"Kate?" Clementine called again.

"Yes?"

"Will you stay until I fall asleep?"

After a brief moment, of contemplation, Kate nodded.

"Of course."

Clementine moved over in the queen-sized bed so Kate could lie beside her. About twenty minutes later, after Clementine had fallen back to sleep, Kate lay in thought. So, she had the maternal gene in her after all. It had taken a while to find it, and sure it wasn't as sharp as most. But she would get the hang of it, and she would learn.

That was when she realized, without any more self-analysis, and some help from Clementine, her mind had been made up - she wanted to keep the child.


	47. Chapter 47

Quickie:

**Diger** - Sawyer will make up his mind at some point. His decision is the only thing you need to worry about, not when it happens. Hee!  
**LordXwee** - Awesome German review. What's next, a Russian one? Dutch? Czech? Hah. You're awesome.  
**xKatie-Bearx** - "Cute" review. )  
**freckles1230** - A girl, huh? Guess we'll have to wait and see what Doc says.  
**sofie** - Wow! Such dedication! Thank you!  
**bonboni** - Well, _Kate_ has decided she wants to keep it. But it takes two to tango, so we have to wait for Sawyer's decision too.  
**Mathildou** - Again, _Kate_ wants to keep it. But the question that remains - does _Sawyer_?  
**xox-emily-xox** - I made up the laughing thing for the story. My mom gave me a dreamcatcher for the nightmares. That was her way of helping me deal with them.

Hey guys. I'm really sorry that this chapter took so long to get posted. I've been going through a lot of stuff lately, and I haven't been able to update. But I do appreciate all the love in the reviews, as always. You all rock!! As always, enjoy!

**Chapter 47**

Sawyer woke up the next morning in an empty bed. No surprise, he thought, because these days, she was always up before him. He got out of bed and went into the bathroom to do his usual morning business – urinate, a splash of water on his face, and brushing his teeth. When he was finished, he walked down the stairs and into the kitchen, where he knew Kate and Clementine would be. However, to his surprise, they were not. In place of the two of them at the table, there lied a note. He picked it up and read it aloud.

"James. Clementine and I have gone out for breakfast by Cassie. Didn't want to wake you, but we'll bring you back somethin', if you can hold out that long." He paused, before continuing. "P.S. – We need to talk."

He scoffed. If she wanted to talk, fine. But he wasn't going to be the first to speak up. He looked over at the microwave for the time – 10:42 A.M. – and wondered how long ago they had left. After helping himself to a cup of coffee, he went out to the front of the house to retrieve the newspaper. To his dismay, there was his truck – Kate and Clementine inside – pulling back into the driveway. When it disappeared along the side of the house, he walked back inside and took a seat in the kitchen.

A few minutes later, the door opened and Clementine's loud chatter filled the house.

"And then, then he told me that Santa's not real. And that all the mommy's and daddy's just buy the toys for all the kids. But I didn't believe him. Because there's too many toys and not all mommy's and daddy's got enough money to buy them. So I told him that he was making it up, and that if he kept lying, Santa wouldn't bring him toys next year. But then he called me a baby!"

"He did?" Kate answered, following her to the kitchen.

"Yeah. But I told the teacher on him and he got a time out."

Kate smiled, but it faded away when she saw Sawyer sitting at the table.

"Hi daddy!" Clementine greeted, skipping over to her father for a hug.

"Hey Clemmy. How was breakfast?"

"Good. I had five whole pancakes!" she exclaimed, holding up her hand. "But they weren't the big pancakes. They were the baby ones."

"Sounds good."

"There's some for you too."

He glanced up at Kate who was fidgeting with the bag, avoiding eye contact. Instead of saying anything, he looked back at Clementine.

"Know what, Clemmy, why don't you go set up that tea party in your room? You can come and get me when it's ready, all right?"

"And you're gonna wear the hat and necklaces, right?"

He exhaled. "If I have to…"

"Good."

As soon as he heard her footsteps up the stairs stop, Sawyer sighed.

"Here," Kate said, setting the bag on the table before him.

"Thanks," he said quietly.

"Cassie said it's what you usually order. Pancakes, an omelette, and – "

"Bacon, yeah."

She nodded, and then started to leave the room. Confused, Sawyer turned around in his chair.

"Hey," he called after her. "Thought you wanted to talk?"

"Eat first."

"I can wait to eat."

"_Eat_ first," she insisted.

Curiously, he stared after her until she disappeared from view. He heard her going up the stairs and opened the bag to eat the food she had brought him. Now he was wondering what it was she wanted to talk to him about. And why, if she wanted to talk so bad, did she make him sit and eat first? Was she his girl or his mother? Thankfully, his hunger overthrew his thoughts, and he indulged.

A mere fifteen minutes later, he had finished. He heard Kate come back downstairs and walked out of the room, spotting her on the couch – she was reading a magazine.

"Good read?" he asked, slowly sauntering over.

"I've read better," she responded.

"What is it?"

"Jack."

He stopped where he was. "What??"

She turned sideways on the couch and held up the article she was reading. There, indeed, was Jack Shephard's picture underneath the bold headline, "The Island of Doctor Shephard" – a play on a movie title. _How clever, _he thought, sarcastically. He scoffed. So, Jack was still yukking it up, even when it had been over a year later. Well, for one thing, if this was the way she wanted to start the conversation, it couldn't be good.

"He say anything worth readin' in there?" he asked, sitting next to her.

"Oh yeah," she smiled, closing the magazine. "He's revealed all your deepest darkest conning secrets."

"Cute." He paused to let her start, but she didn't. "So, what're we talkin' about?"

Kate took a deep breath, leaving Sawyer feeling extremely uncomfortable.

"I've been thinking. About our…situation."

"Thinkin' what?"

"I think…a decision needs to be made. Before tomorrow."

"Why tomorrow?"

"Well," she laughed nervously. "I have an appointment tomorrow. And there's only one week until the first trimester is over."

"So?"

"There's a certain point when termination is no longer an option, James."

"And you wanna get rid of it, that it?"

"I didn't say that."

"Then what're you saying?"

"I'm saying…I think we should give it a try. But…as you've said, it's not up to me. It's up to _us_."

He smirked. "You're gonna include _me_ in this one?"

"Funny."

They both heard Clementine's door open and knew their discussion time was wearing thin.

"What do you think?" she asked quickly.

He sighed, looking away from her. Before he had the chance, Clementine appeared. Instead of giving Kate an answer, he stood, shaking his head.

"James…"

"I got a tea party to get to," he said coarsely.

She watched him and Clementine disappear upstairs, disappointedly. And yet, at the same time, she couldn't help but be curiously amused. Did he _really_ just say that?

A little while later, the phone began to ring while Kate was doing the dishes. She turned the water off and dried her hands, hurrying to answer it. It was Cassidy, calling to check up on Clementine. Putting her on hold, Kate went upstairs to notify Clementine. She had to stifle back laughter upon entering the room. Sawyer was sitting on the bed across from Clementine, wearing a pink "flapper" hat that tied around his chin, with one large feather at the top. He also donned two "pearl" necklaces. He looked away, shamefully.

"Clementine, your mom's on the phone downstairs," she said, trying hard not to laugh.

"Yay!" she cried, hopping off the bed and downstairs.

Kate looked down, still standing in the doorway, holding back her amusement.

"Don't say it," he warned her.

"How's the party?" she said, still forcing her eyes downward.

He pressed his lips together, glaring at her. She walked in the room and sat in Clementine's seat, then looked up at him, unable to repress a smile.

"Nice hat."

He ripped it off his head, and threw it on the bed. That broke Kate's concentration and the giggles slipped out.

"Oh it's real funny, ain't it?"

"I'm sorry," she laughed.

"Yeah right," he muttered.

"You know, I think pink's a good color on you."

"Have your fun, sweetheart. Laugh it up. Just wait until it's your turn."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she said, her laughter subsiding.

"When you gotta do somethin' you don't like to do."

"I don't mind doing anything with Clementine."

"I'm not talkin' about Clementine."

She stared at him, the corners of her mouth turning upward.

"You'd better hope it ain't a boy," he smirked.

She maneuvered around the tea set so she was next to him, and looked up with a smile.

"I think I could handle a boy."

"Oh really?"

"Well, if I can handle _you_, I think I can handle anything…"

"That's it!"

He grabbed her sides and began to tickle her until his mouth found hers and he tasted her delight…


	48. Chapter 48

Quickie:

**SassyLostie** - Don't you mean that _kidney_ sort of rhymed? Gosh I really scarred ya'll. Thinking of the worst all the time now...  
**bonboni** - You think it'll be a boy? Well, now I got people guessing the gender. One says it's a girl, other says it's a boy. What if it's twins? Or _triplets_? Dear god. Someone had better shoot me before I do that to Sawyer!  
**sivan** - Aw. I scarred you too!? Grr...  
**LordXwee** - First off..._WHAT did you say?_ Second off...I seriously doubt that. They're too sneaky to actually just SAY that. But don't spoil meh anymore please. ) Trying to lay off them.

Well, did everyone enjoy that Tea Party? Hehehe. I knew you would...And you were all worried. I hate having to update in such long periods of time. Because you all come and review so quickly - unlike the other site I post on... And I love that. But I'm a little anal so I like to keep things on track.

!!Update!! - I had told you guys in an earlier chapter that this story would probably be 60 chapters. I'm having trouble seeing that happen, so I think it might wind up being something liek 65 chapters or so. Just figured I'd let you all know.

Enjoy!

**Chapter 48**

The next day, Kate hurried to get ready for her appointment in their bedroom. However, Sawyer wasn't making it easy. He was putting up a fight against staying home with Clementine.

"You don't _have_ to come," she was saying.

"I already told you the first time: if we're gonna do this – "

"James, please. I need to get out of here," she said, brushing past him into the hallway.

"So let me go with you," he followed her down the stairs.

"I'm not letting you take Clementine with us!"

"Why not? She can wait in the waiting room."

"_Alone_?"

"No…" he said, trying to think of something quick. He looked around the living room and spotted Clementine sitting with her doll on the couch. "Emily will be with her."

Kate rolled her eyes. "Nice try, but a doll doesn't count."

"Oh come on. What's the harm in it, Freckles? So she learns where babies come from. Big deal."

"It _is_ a big deal. Or at least it will be to her mother. She's only six years old."

"So? That's her problem, not ours."

"I gotta go," she said, opening the front door.

"You takin' the truck?"

"I could walk, if you need it."

"What're you, crazy?"

She smiled. "I'll be back soon."

She gave him a quick peck on the lips, and walked out the door. He stood at the doorway, watching her walk down the path.

"Pain in the ass!" he called after her.

She turned around, grinning, continuing to walk backwards.

"Love you, too!"

They waved to each other one last time, and he closed the door. Then, he turned around and saw Clementine watching him.

"It's just you and me now, sunshine."

Clementine smiled, deviously. "Can we have another tea party?"

* * *

Kate lay on the bed in the empty room, awaiting Dr. Park's arrival. Nervous butterflies filled her stomach, which she instantly looked down at. She found herself wishing Sawyer _was_ there, wanting to have his hand to hold. But it was better that he wasn't. She certainly wouldn't have him tagging along at every appointment, so she decided she had better get used to going it alone. 

A moment later, Dr. Park entered with a warming smile.

"Hello, Kate. How are you today?"

"Good, thanks," Kate smiled back.

"I can see that - you're glowing. That's a sign of a healthy pregnancy."

Kate smiled, unsure of how to respond. So instead, she changed the subject.

"Amy had mentioned on the phone you looked at the test results, and – "

"That's right," Dr. Park said, writing on her clipboard. "I'll still be monitoring, of course. But there's hardly cause for worry."

"Okay," Kate said, somewhat reassured.

"The morning sickness has stopped?"

"Almost. It's sporadic. And it doesn't last as long."

"Uh-huh. That's good. Oh, and you're gaining that baby weight already," she smiled again.

Again, Kate smiled uncertainly. Was that supposed to be a compliment?

"Okay. Let me just hook few things up here and we can get started."

"Okay."

"Where's the father today?"

"Home with his daughter."

"He has a child already?"

"Well, she's fairly recent news."

"I see. How old?"

"Six."

"Good, good," Dr. Park nodded, obviously not all too interested. "Okay, good to go. I need you to lie back, and lift your shirt up."

Kate did as she was told, with some assistance from Dr. Park.

"This might be a little cold," Dr. Park told her, squeezing the petroleum jelly onto her stomach.

Kate almost arched at the coldness of the jelly. 'A little cold' wasn't warning enough, if you asked her. She listened to the weird noises as the doctor examined. There on the screen was the fetus growing inside of her. It was bigger than last time – exceedingly so.

"There's the heartbeat," Dr. Park, smiled. "Strong and clear."

Kate smiled, astounded. There was a little person in her. Now she had _two_ hearts to look after…

"So have you two decided on what you'd like to do yet?" Dr. Park asked, suddenly.

"Yeah," she said, after a pause.

"Well don't leave me hanging in suspense here…"

Kate laughed. "We want to keep it."

* * *

Kate walked into the house a little more than an hour later, dropping the keys to Sawyer's truck on the mantle. She followed the voices she heard to the kitchen, where she found Sawyer and Clementine playing a card game at the table. From the looks of Clementine's heaping pile of pennies, Sawyer was losing. 

"Hit me," Clementine said.

"You sure about that, sunshine?"

"Just do it," Clementine sighed.

"Hey you two," Kate greeted.

"Hey yourself," Sawyer said gruffly, slapping a card down on the table.

"What're we playing?" she asked.

"Blackjack," Clementine answered. "_I'm_ winning."

"Yeah, well, unless you got an Ace under there, you just lost."

Clementine flipped over her facedown card to reveal the Ace of hearts, and smirked.

"Unbelievable!" Sawyer cried.

Clementine giggled as Sawyer scooped the cards across the table. Kate took a seat at the table beside Clementine.

"Daddy said he'd take me for ice-cream if I win," she told Kate.

"Oh? Well, it looks like you're almost there."

"I beat him eight times in a row," she whispered, laughingly.

"She's a cheater," he broke in.

"Me?" she stared at him, innocently pointing her index finger at her chest. "I got no idea what you're talking about."

"Save it, you little hustler."

Kate laughed. "Are you saying you got _conned_ by your daughter?"

"Ha ha."

"See? I told you you can beat any monster," she said to Clementine.

Clementine broke into a fit of giggles at Kate's joke. Sawyer, on the other hand, exhaled sharply.

"Hit or Stick?" he grumbled.

"Stick."

He dealt himself another card, making his hand equal to 20. Clementine turned hers over and revealed an Ace and a Queen – 21.

"Son of a...how in the hell do you keep doin' that?"

"_You_ taught me how to play," Clementine said teasingly.

"You better stop lyin', little girl. You want me to tell your mommy?"

Clementine gasped, covering her mouth with both hands.

"You're going to rat her out because you're a sore loser?" Kate teased.

"I'm not a sore loser…"

"Looks that way."

"Know what? I'm done with this game," he said, slapping the deck down on the table.

"What about my ice-cream?" Clementine objected.

"You'll get it."

"Right now?"

He sighed. "Fine. Go get your shoes on."

"Okay!"

She hopped out of her seat and ran upstairs. Sawyer turned to Kate.

"I heard the heartbeat," she said before he could ask. "Dr. Park said it was strong."

His shoulders slumped. "You heard it without me?"

She laughed. "Don't worry. You'll get your chance."

"What else?"

"She just told me what to expect with the second trimester."

"Which is…?"

Before she could answer, Clementine was back and their conversation was cut short. After all, ice-cream called…


	49. Chapter 49

Quickie:

**xKatie-Bearx -** It's actually not supposed to be suspicious. It's just my inability to end the chapter. I promise.  
**bonboni** - Well, think what you may. I am not revealing anything!! Hehe.  
**SassyLostie** - folds arms You're usually the first to review and suddenly you're now the last. Tsk tsk. What ever will I do with you? Well...since I seem to have kidney mussed you up already...I'll be nice and forget it ever happened. In response to your "Which is what??"- ness, read what I told Katie.

I miss being able to update this every few days. It seemed like more people reviewed back then. NOT that I am complaining! I'll take what I can get. Hehe. Since a few of you seemed worried with the end of that chapter, I'll emphasize once more that it isn't anything to worry about. It's just me lacking the skills to end the chapter. Hahaha.

So enjoy it! While it lasts...dun dun DUN!!!  
Teehee!

**Chapter 49**

The last two weeks of Clementine's stay flew by in the blink of an eye. She had grown increasingly fond of Kate and Sawyer, and almost never let Mackenzie leave her side. It was the last day of her stay, and Cassidy was bound to show up soon. They were sitting in the living room, preparing to have a tea party – Kate had been invited this time.

"Before we can have the party, we gotta look pretty," Clementine told them.

"I don't do 'pretty'," Sawyer told her.

"Can I do your hair?" she asked him, with a wide smile. "Pretty please!?"

"Why don't you do Kate's hair?" he suggested.

"Your hair's prettier," she said. "Please daddy?"

He looked to Kate for help, but all she did was raise her eyebrows and grin.

"You ain't gonna put bows in it, are you?"

"No bows."

He sighed. "Fine."

"Yay!" she jumped up from her seat. "I'm gonna go get my stuff."

Sawyer sat back in the couch, groaning.

"Thanks for backin' me up, Freckles."

She smiled. "Why should I back you up? You've got prettier hair than me."

"She's a kid."

Kate laughed. "I know." After a pause, she said, "Do you think you'll miss her?"

"Clementine?" He saw her nod. "You kidding? I can't wait until she leaves."

"Yeah, right," she grinned.

He half-smiled. "It'll be a hell of a lot quieter."

"You're not going to miss all the tea parties, and Baby Emily?"

"Oh yeah. I'm gonna miss wearin' pink hats, and gettin' my hair done."

"And playing in the park and taking her to the zoo?"

He quieted for a moment. "Sounds like you're gonna miss her more than I am."

"So you admit you'll miss her then?"

He opened his mouth to speak, and realized he was caught. Kate grinned satisfactorily. Before he could try and save himself, Clementine reappeared.

"Okay. All ready."

"Hey Clem, don't you want some lunch before your tea party?" Kate asked her.

"Peanut butter and jelly, please," she smiled.

"Okay."

She left the room to let Sawyer be "pampered" by his daughter. They were quiet at first, as usual. But as expected, they started to yell at each other. _Like father, like daughter_, Kate thought to herself.

"I thought you said no bows?!" he shouted.

"It's _not_ a bow!" Clementine shouted back. "This is a barrette!"

"Well whatever it is, you ain't puttin' that in my hair!"

"You promised!"

"So did you!"

"Don't be such a baby."

"Oh you're cruisin'."

"I'll tell mommy on you."

"I'll tell mommy on _you_!"

"What's going on?" Kate reentered with two sandwiches.

"She's tryin' to put some frilly little bow in my hair when I already said no!"

"It's not a bow!" Clementine argued again. "See?"

Kate smiled slightly, putting one of the sandwiches on the table next to Clementine.

"She's right, you know," she said, sitting on the arm chair with her sandwich.

"It's a barrette. And even Kate said so. So now you _have_ to let me put it in."

"Since when is Kate the boss?" he grumbled.

"Since girls are better than boys are," Clementine answered.

"Who in the hell told you that?"

"Don't say that!" Clementine and Kate both said simultaneously.

"Whose kid are you, sunshine?"

"If you don't let me put the barrette in, I'll tell Kate about _you know what_."

Sawyer's face immediately changed, and he snuck a nervous glance at a curious looking Kate.

"What'd I tell you about talkin' about that?"

"Will you let me put the barrette in?"

He scoffed. "You little con."

"Can't imagine where she gets it from," Kate said, proceeding to take a bite of her sandwich.

He glared at her. "I'll deal with you later."

"Mm-hmm…"

"Well?" Clementine asked, exasperated.

He sighed. "_Fine_."

"Good. Now don't move your head."

While Clementine got to work on Sawyer's hair, he and Kate were having a silent conversation between eyes. She stared at him, curiously, and he knew she was wondering what Clementine was talking about when she had mentioned the "you-know-what". He narrowed his eyes, unwilling to give her even a hint. She continued to gaze at him though, challengingly. He raised his eyebrows in amusement. She raised hers too, warningly, rather than amusedly. He cocked his head to the side, repressing a smirk, and Clementine sighed.

"No moving!" she told him.

"Sorry," he said, insolently.

Sawyer glanced at Kate again, and she was biting into her sandwich with a smile, avoiding his eyes. He put on a small smirk.

"How's that sandwich, Freckles?"

She looked up at him, cautiously, but still smiling.

"Fine."

"Why do you call her 'Freckles'?" Clementine asked. "Her name's Kate."

"Yeah," Kate smiled cunningly. "My name's Kate."

"Why don't you just focus on what you're doin', sunshine?"

"I am. But you should call her Kate. Because _that's_ her name."

"You don't have any problems with me callin' you Sunshine."

"'Cause that's a nickname."

"Well so's Freckles."

"No. Freckles is things."

"Know what, in a minute I'm not gonna play tea party with you."

"That's not fair!"

"Don't worry, Clementine. He'll play with you," Kate told her.

Sawyer turned and looked at her, bemused. She switched her gaze to him.

"If he doesn't, I'll punish him."

"Ha ha," Clementine taunted. "You hafta play or you'll get in trouble."

"How you gonna punish me then, sassafras?"

Instead of answering, she continued to eat her sandwich. They stared at each other for a long time, until a knock at the door startled them both.

"Bet that's your mom," Sawyer told Clementine, tauntingly.

"Aww."

Forgetting about his hairdo, he opened to door to let her in. She grinned.

"Havin' a tea party?" she glanced at his hair.

"Yeah, yeah. Real funny," he said, pulling the barrettes out as she walked by him.

"Mommy!" Clementine shouted.

She ran to her mother who scooped her up in a tight hug.

"Hey, Clemmy! You have a good time here?"

"Yes."

"You were a good girl, weren't you?"

She turned her head and looked at Sawyer mischievously, then turned back to her mother.

"Yes. I was very good."

Sawyer shook his head in awe. But she _was _his daughter…

"So you had fun, huh?"

"Uh-huh. We did lotsa things. We went to the park, and the zoo, and buyed clothes and toys."

"Wow. Sounds like a lotta fun."

"Yeah. And we even got stuff for Baby Emily for when she comes here."

"She'll be coming here again?"

"Well when I come here again, she can come again. Right?"

"You wanna come again?"

"You said in the summertimes..."

"Well as long as it's all right with your daddy."

Clementine turned and looked at Sawyer, hopefully.

"You can come see me and Kate any time you want, sunshine," he told her.

"Okay," she smiled cheerfully.

"What do you say we hit the road home, Clemmy?" Cassidy asked.

"We have to go right now?" she frowned, pulling away from her mother.

"Well we got a long way to go, you know."

"But I don't wanna go yet," she ran over towards Sawyer. "I wanna play tea party."

"We can play next time, Clem," Sawyer told her.

"No, I wanna play now!"

"Clementine, we have to go," Cassidy said. "You can have a tea party at home with your animals."

"I wanna have a tea party with daddy!" she snapped.

"Clementine Philips, don't you raise your voice at me!" Cassidy scolded.

"I want my tea party!"

"Go get in the car," Cassidy demanded. "NOW."

Lips quivering, Clementine looked down at the floor angrily and stomped outside. Kate and Sawyer stared at Cassidy in shock.

"You didn't have to go make her cry, Cassidy," Sawyer said, sighing.

"She'll be fine."

"We coulda had a quick little rendezvous and you coulda been on your way without all the trouble."

"Thank you, James, but I can deal with my own daughter."

"She's my daughter too," he argued.

"Where are her things?"

"I'll go get them," Kate said quietly, and disappeared upstairs.

"Don't try and treat me the way you treat her, Cassidy," Sawyer said. "I ain't some kid you can push around."

"I know that. And don't you accuse me of pushing my daughter around. You don't know what goes on."

"No, but I know well enough how to take care of my kid!"

"You say that now, James. But I'd like to see what you do with a kid, full on."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know what, I'm not here to argue with you, James. I'm here for my daughter, so if it's okay with you, let's just end the discussion right now."

Before he could object, Kate returned with Clementine's belongings and Cassidy went outside to be on her way. Sawyer quickly followed, and went to the backseat window of the car where Clementine sat, sulking. Upon seeing Sawyer, she pressed the button to roll it down.

"You be a good girl, all right, Sunshine?" he told her.

She nodded, sadly.

"I'll see you for Christmas and we can make a snowman or somethin'."

"Okay," she said quietly, a small smile tugging at her lips.

"C'mere," he said, leaning in closer.

She leaned out slightly and he kissed the top of her head.

"Bye daddy," she whispered.

"Bye Clemmy."


	50. Chapter 50

Quickie:

**SassyLostie - **Yes, you were first this time. Very good. Hehe. Kidding. But your review baffled me a bit. There was no kidney! What is the world coming to!? p.s. Oh I wonder wonder what Clemmy threatened to tell...  
**Mathildou** - Chapters left...hmm. I have up to Chapter 53 written. But that's not the last chapter. There's a lot I need to get out of my head and down on paper. Well...Microsoft Word. I guesstimated before that the story would end at 60 chapters, however I think it might be more like 65 chapters. Maybe more. I don't know. It depends on how things work out when I finally get them written.  
**sivan** - Clementine was talking about the little secret she and Sawyer share. That none of you guys know a thing about yet! Hehe.

Now...

I got a lot of complaints about Cassidy again. And while last time she was around, she behaved the same way and I said I felt bad about that, I now realize why I made her so...need a pg-13 word for this..._grouchy_. Hah. I think it's the fact that I just don't like her at all...and I didn't really want to writer her character but I had to. _I know_ I should have humanized her more, but what can ya do?

Lots of chit chatter about what Clementine meant when she said she'd tell Kate about "you know what".  
Kids just say the darndest things, don't they!?

Anyway, just before the chapter, I feel kind of weird about this one. I don't know why. You'll let me know what _you_ think though. And by the way, I'm really happy to be reviewing today. Hehe. I'm just in a crummy mood and whenever I update and get your reviews it makes me happy. So I'm looking forward to that feeling. Cheerio!  
(Sorry, I'm eating Cheerios. lol)

**Chapter 50**

For a few minutes, Sawyer stood rooted to his spot, gazing down the empty road. Kate, who had been standing at the front door all the while, finally walked over to him.

"She'll be okay," she told him.

"I know."

"You _are_ going to miss her…" she said quietly.

Silently, he turned around and started walking back toward the house. Kate followed, slowly. She wanted to say something, but could think of nothing. When they got inside, Sawyer sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. Kate left him alone, knowing he needed his space, and went about finding little things to occupy her time. Be it a magazine, playing with Mackenzie, or chores, she found ways to keep busy all day.

When she walked back into the living room that evening, Kate noticed the tea set still sitting on the coffee table, and wondered why it didn't seem to faze him. Walking around to the opposite side of the couch, she grabbed the remote and turned the TV off. His first impulse was to turn his head and stare at her.

"Are you going to walk around like a zombie now that she's gone?" Kate asked.

"No," he said, seemingly surprised at the question.

She stared at him a moment longer, then turned the TV back on. His attention switched immediately back to the TV. Kate, on the other hand, began to gather up the remnants of the tea party into the basket it had been in.

"It's all right to miss her," she told him.

He rolled his eyes. She looked down.

"I'm just saying…"

Sawyer remained silent, trying to focus on the television screen. Kate toyed with one of the miniature tea cups, contemplating how she could get him to speak to her - more than one or two words at a time.

"I have another appointment next week," she said.

He glanced at her. "When?"

"Tuesday morning."

"Why's it always in the morning?"

_That's a start_, she thought. "I don't know."

"You can't ask them for a better time?"

"Well no one said you had to come."

He quieted again.

"But you can, if you want." She smiled. "If you think you can wake up on time..."

"We'll see."

"Maybe you should. It would get your mind off Clementine. And…back on larger matters."

"Fine."

Kate sat on the coffee table, sighing.

"What should I do?"

"About what?"

"About _you_. You've been sitting here all day, staring at the TV screen in a funk."

"Called watching TV, Freckles."

"You haven't changed the channel once. There's no way you would sit and watch the same channel _all day_."

In response, he sneeringly picked up the remote and switched the channel, then threw it back onto the couch. Kate sighed.

"You also haven't eaten anything since breakfast."

"I'm not hungry."

"Not at all?"

"Nope."

"So I'm just overreacting, then?"

"Overreacting about what?" he asked, cynically.

"You're moping around!"

"So what if I am?"

"You know what? When you get over it, let me know," she said, getting up.

With that, she walked upstairs and left him to stare at the TV screen. He sat for a few more minutes, no longer able to concentrate on the television, then proceeded to turn it off and go upstairs to join Kate in bed.

* * *

Four days later, Kate's appointment came up and she and Sawyer were driving to the doctor's office. 

"You didn't have to come, you know," she told him.

"You told me I _should_," he replied.

"I know. But I was just trying to get you to talk." She paused. "I could have just gone myself. It's no big deal."

"Would you quit your moanin' already? I'm goin' and that's that."

"Okay," she smiled.

They continued to drive silently until they reached the office. Sawyer followed Kate into the waiting room as she greeted the nurses. He looked around nervously, remembering the last time he was in the room with Aaron while Kate was being evaluated. He hated to be reminded of that day. All the grief and the thoughts of them losing a baby again sickening him…

"Kate?" called a nurse, snapping him out of his trance.

He looked up and saw it was Amy. He remembered her because of her freckles. Instantly, Kate rose and walked toward the door. Sawyer did too, but Kate stopped him.

"Are you sure you wanna come?"

"Are you gonna ask me this every time?" he retorted.

She smiled and followed Amy without another word, knowing Sawyer was still right behind her. They were left alone in the room, awaiting Dr. Park's arrival.

"Are you sure you want me here?" he teased.

"Are you always gonna ask me that?" she replied playfully.

"So you _can_ be taught…"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He laughed. "Nothin'."

"You better watch it."

"Or what?"

"Or that couch will have your name all over it."

"Is that a _threat_?"

"Oh yeah," she laughed.

Just then, Dr. Park entered the room.

"Hello Kate," she greeted. "And James. Wonderful to see you again."

"Likewise, Doc."

"And how are we doing today?" she asked Kate.

"Good."

"Anything out of the ordinary?"

"Not that I can tell."

"Okay. Lie back for me and we'll get started."

Sawyer watched Dr. Park turned the machines on, and Kate lift up her shirt as she lied down. Once the machine was on, his focus stayed on the screen only. He watched the white traces of his child appear as Dr. Park moved the device around on Kate's stomach.

"Everything seems to be okay," Dr. Park told them. "Heartbeat is good…"

Sawyer stared, amazed by how much it had grown since the picture Kate had shown him. It actually looked like a baby now.

"It's a little early, but I'm pretty sure I could tell you two what it is today," she said, smiling at them.

Kate and Sawyer exchanged a glance.

"Well, I…" Kate started. Then she looked at Sawyer again. "What do you want to do?"

"May as well, Freckles."

Kate glanced away, in thought. Sawyer noticed the tiniest grin tugging at her lips, and suddenly knew exactly what she was thinking.

"I think we can wait," she told Dr. Park, then switched her gaze to Sawyer.

"Are you sure?"

Kate didn't say anything, but she didn't have to. Sawyer understood completely - waiting would be more of an adventure.

"Yeah," he answered for her.

* * *

The car ride home was quiet, as usual. Kate was lost in thought, and Sawyer's only focus was on the road.

"What do you think of Aidan?" she said suddenly.

"Who's Aidan?"

"I mean as a name."

"For the kid?"

"Yeah."

"You're thinkin' of names already?"

"Well, when she told us she could tell us what it was, it got me thinking about names…"

"Maybe we should wait 'til we know what it is?"

"Well, we should at least have a few in mind."

He quieted for a moment. "Aidan?"

"It's just a thought."

"I don't like it."

"Of course you don't," she grinned.

"You know, I could damn you to the couch too, Freckles."

"You'd put out a pregnant woman?"

"No, but I'd put _you _out."

"You would, huh?"

"You don't believe me?"

"Of course I believe you," she said half-heartedly.

"Do you want me to stop the truck?" he said, staring at her in disbelief.

She laughed. "Just keep your eye on the road."


	51. Chapter 51

Quickie:

**xKatie-Bearx** - I didn't say it wasn't a girl. Nor did I say it was a boy. They decided not to find out, remember?  
**LostSista** - Well I've always known it as a boy's name. But don't think just because I wrote that that the kid will be a boy. It's a surprise for them, and for you. Hehe!  
**Mathildou** - Awww. I like hearing that though! It makes me feel all fuzzy...lol! Um, I may or may not have an idea for the name...  
**xox-emily-xox** - Yay! Caught up! I was wondering why I had so many reviews in my inbox...lol  
**SassyLostie** - You know what, that's it. We're over! And not kidney over! _Over _over! Haha. Anyway, Aiden for a Jaby? Eeeps! Scratching that name off the list...Just kidding. But Sawyer didn't like it anyhow. So..no worries.

I know this is a little…cringe-worthy, to say the least. But just imagine how awkward I felt to have to write it. I'm sorry if there are any male readers!! (besides **Lord Xwee**. P)

A few normal weeks passed. Kate and Sawyer were sitting in the living room one night, watching TV as usual. Kate got up to use the bathroom, leaving Sawyer free to change the channel. After a few minutes, Sawyer's glance switched to the bathroom door. Just as it did, it seemed, the door opened and Kate walked out, her face white with worry. He muted the TV.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

She tried to form the words, but nothing came out. After taking a deep breath, she tried again.

"We need to go see Dr. Park."

A quick trip later, they were at the office, waiting for Dr. Park to arrive. Kate sat, shaken. She wasn't crying yet, but Sawyer could tell she could burst any moment.

"Freckles…what's the matter?" he murmured.

"I…" she paused to exhale. "I think we might be losing the baby…"

Dr. Park arrived shortly after, and they followed her to the examination room. Kate sat in the chair and Dr. Park closed the door.

"So, what's this about, Kate?" Dr. Park asked.

Her lips trembled. "I think…I might be miscarriaging."

Dr. Park's eyes widened. "I see. James, I think you should wait outside."

"Why in hell would I wanna do that?" he sneered.

"I just assumed you wouldn't want to be present for a vaginal exam."

He stared at her, taken aback. Then, he glanced at Kate.

"I'll just…" he pointed backward, as he started to leave.

"I'll have Amy bring you back in when we're through," Dr. Park told him.

He nodded, and left the room.

Sawyer sat in the waiting room with increasing dread and anticipation. Neither he nor Kate knew _what_ was going on. The thought of losing their baby when they were so far along in the pregnancy already was sickening. After being so used to the idea, it was being ripped away. AGAIN. Was that supposed to be a sign? Was Kate not supposed to have a child? Or maybe she just wasn't supposed to have _his_ child? He didn't know. She said she thought she might be miscarriaging….What gave her that idea? And was she? Would Dr. Park even know? He hated waiting…

About ten minutes later, Sawyer was summoned back into the room. Neither Dr. Park nor Kate looked pleased.

"Well?" he urged.

"I've just explained to Kate the details of her diagnosis. And I need you to remain calm while I explain them to you. Can you do that?"

"What_ diagnosis_??"

"I'm getting to that." She exhaled. "It's called _Placenta Previa_. It means that the placenta is lying unusually low in the uterus, next to or covering the cervix."

"In English?"

"It's near the area where the baby comes out."

"And that's bad?"

"Yes. If it blocks the entire cervix, we can't do a natural birth. We'd have to do a cesarean, and there may or may not be complications. However, Kate's previa is only partial, so there is no need to panic just yet. It's very common for the placenta to migrate around this time. There's a chance it may still move away from the cervix in time. But, if it doesn't – and I'll be monitoring – we might have a problem."

"What do you mean _problem_?"

"Well, it CAN cause bleeding, which might mean an early delivery or possibly other complications. We need to be careful, because if it persists, a c-section is required."

Sawyer looked down, distressed. He snuck a glance at Kate and noticed a few tears rolling down her cheeks. Dr. Park spied the both of them.

"But…let's not worry right now. We'll have a better idea of what's going on with the next ultrasound, which – if I'm not mistaken – is two weeks before Christmas."

Dr. Park began to write something on Kate's chart, while speaking.

"I'm going to put you on 'pelvic rest', Kate. That means no more vaginal exams, and no more _intercourse_ for the rest of the pregnancy," she said, eyeing Sawyer. "I want you to take it easy from here on out, as well. No strenuous housework or heavy lifting. Nothing that could provoke the bleeding."

Kate nodded, silently. Just when they thought things were going so well…

* * *

Nearly two months had passed, and already autumn had begun. Leaves were changing colors, the air was getting cooler, and nights were growing shorter. The diagnosis was quickly swept out of their thoughts as they tried to maintain a more optimistic outlook. With only one day left until Halloween, Sawyer and Kate pondered what they wanted to do. About to embark on the sixth month of her pregnancy, Kate's stomach – much to her dismay - was now quite large and noticeable, and in her opinion, proving to be a problem.

"What? You don't wanna dress up?" Sawyer teased.

"As what, a balloon?" Kate rolled her eyes.

"Well, you could always wrap yourself in a net and be a basketball hoop," he grinned.

"Cute."

"Aw, come on. I'm just messin' with you."

"Well it's not funny."

He sighed. "You're right, it ain't."

Even though it _was_ funny – at least in his opinion – Sawyer had begun to understand that Kate always had to be right. Her moodiness had increased over the weeks and he quickly discovered that antagonizing her would only make things worse for him.

"Well you don't wanna sit and give out candy, do you?" he asked, dreading her answer.

"Do a lot of trick-or-treaters come by?"

"No."

"That's a shame."

"It is?"

"Yeah. Where's the fun of Halloween?"

"Oh, don't tell me you actually wanna do somethin' now."

"I'm just remembering how it was when I was a kid. Carving pumpkins, going out and getting candy."

"My mama hated Halloween. I used to bounce off the walls from all the sugar." He smirked. "Probably 'cause I went through the whole bag in the same night. Didn't care about getting sick afterwards."

"That's disgusting," she laughed. "I used to go through mine in a week, at least. But I traded all the ones I didn't like."

"I sold mine," he grinned devilishly.

"Figures," she teased. "Were you dressed up as a conman too?"

"_No_. I was always a pirate."

"Close enough," she muttered.

"Except for the one year my mom made me be a clown," he narrowed his eyes.

Kate laughed.

"Oh and what did you dress up as?"

She smiled sheepishly. "A vampire."

"Every year?"

"Well, it varied, but yeah. We were mostly vampires."

"We?"

Her smile faltered. "Tom and I always did some sort of matching costumes."

Sawyer stayed silent, and looked away.

"Was Barbie and Ken one of 'em?" he offered, trying to lighten the mood.

Kate laughed. "No."

"Didn't think so."


	52. Chapter 52

Quickie:

**xKatie-Bearx** - I don't mind if you use 'cute' repeatedly. )  
**LordXwee** - I am SO sorry! But in my defense, when you put the word 'Lord' in your name...what is one supposed to think?  
**SassyLostie** - No you're not last. And you weren't surprised!? D'oh! The vampire thing...I'm not sure what it means either. Didn't really think of a meaning. My friend and I just had this really amusing phone conversation about what these two would be for Halloween. And vampire kidney just stuck.  
**bonboni** - You must be pyschic...  
**sivan8** - Aw. You too? Man I have to throw some REALLY twisted stuff into this story now...And YAY someone commented on the "no intercourse" thing. I was waiting to see everyone laugh at that. Though, I suppose in the heat of the moment...yeah. The vampire thing..read what I told **Sassy**. And yeah, it is possible that Sawyer could be jealous of Kate & Tom's relationship. But it's not like he should be threatened by it, right?  
**Mathildou** - Finally! Someone I actually _scared_!

Well, I'm sad to hear that you guys are getting used to my twists and turns. Where's the fun in that? Hehe. So you guys will probably appreciate this chapter. And that's all I'm gonna say!

(Oh but fyi...Louis should be pronounced LOO-ISS. Just because when it's LOO-EE, it just sounds weird.)

**Chapter 52**

The next day, when Halloween finally came about, Sawyer and Kate spent a cozy day at home watching monster movies, and indulging in junk food. As promised, no trick-or-treaters showed up to beg for candy. At least not until later that night.

While Sawyer sat at the far left of the couch, Kate was lying along the rest of it, her back leaning against Sawyer's chest. He was continuously stroking her hair as they watched the last few minutes of a movie neither of them were really into, but were watching anyway. As with all of the movies they'd been watching, this ending was a happy one – the guy gets the girl, even though he had tried to kill her earlier in the movie.

"Figures," Sawyer muttered, as he watched the credits begin to roll.

"What?" she glanced up at him.

"These movies are all the same. All the bad guys get the girl in the end."

Kate smiled. "I can't imagine how that would look in real life…"

He smirked. "Kinda like this…"

She tilted her head up as he leaned down to kiss her tenderly. Kate tried to break away, but Sawyer pulled her back. When she finally did get a chance to breathe, she laughed.

"Pushy, huh?"

"I just know what I want…" he licked his lips.

"Well…you can't always get what you want."

"Oh really?" he let his hand slowly trail down her arm.

She grinned. "Yes, really. You heard what Dr. Park said."

"I heard, all right," he sat back. "But you know as well as I do, Freckles." He started to lean down again. "Rules were made to be broken."

She put her hand against his lips. He stared down at her, perplexed.

"You keep saying that…"

"Well," he sighed. "I figure one of these days you might just give in."

She laughed. "I'm trying to quit."

Before he could respond, three rapid knocks at the door interrupted them. Sawyer sat back in the couch, getting comfortable again.

"Aren't you going to answer it?" Kate asked.

"No."

She shoved him. "Go answer it."

"Who's pushy now, shortcake?" he said, getting up.

Kate sat up and propped herself up against the arm of the couch. Sawyer opened the door, instantly regretting it. He looked down and saw two small ninjas and an even smaller skeleton.

"TRICK OR TREAT!" the three exclaimed.

"We ain't got candy," Sawyer said, starting to close the door.

"Hey!" one of the ninjas stopped, pushing the door back open. "Come on, mister. You gotta have _something_!"

"Look kid. I ain't got nothin' for you. Now scram!"

"Come on, Jesse. Let's just get outta here," said the other ninja.

"Yeah," chimed in the skeleton.

But the first ninja was too busy staring at the TV screen. He threw back his ninja hood to get a better view. Soon the second ninja tried to see what was going on.

"That's the zombie movie!" the second ninja said. "It just started!"

"My mom _never _lets me watch it," Jesse said.

"Mine neither," said the other.

"What part of scram, don't you boys understand?" Sawyer glared.

"Jesse, I don't like it out here," said the skeleton.

"Shut up, Andy. Don't be such a baby."

"I'm not!"

Jesse looked up at Sawyer. "Hey mister, can we watch the movie?"

"Please??" he and his friend begged.

"Shouldn't you three be worried about gettin' home to your mama's?"

"My mom thinks I'm sleeping at Louis's house," Jesse grinned devilishly, pointing to his ninja friend.

"What?" Louis stared at his friend, bemused.

Jesse nudged him.

"Ow!"

"Jesse I don't wanna watch the monster movie," Andy whined.

"You're such a scaredy cat," Jesse rolled his blue eyes. He turned to Sawyer. "Don't mind him. He's just my little _baby_ brother."

"I'm not a baby! I'm eight years old!" Andy argued.

"And how about you two?" Sawyer asked.

"We're eleven," Louis explained.

"Yeah? Well even if you were twenty-five I still wouldn't let you in my house."

Jesse rubbed his chin. "Think of it this way. You don't have anything to give us. So instead, you can let us watch the movie."

Sawyer stared down at the boy's eyes in shock. Jesse only raised his eyebrows as he smirked. Somehow, Sawyer was reminded of himself, and couldn't resist.

"One condition, short stuff. You let me drive you all home at the end."

"Jesse, no!" Louis shook his head violently, his red hair tousling. "My mom will kill me!"

"So what?"

"I don't want to die!"

Jesse rolled his eyes, and turned back to Sawyer. "Deal."

Upon seeing the three kids entering the house, Kate sat up. She looked at Sawyer, slightly puzzled.

"Who are your friends?" she asked him.

"They're gonna watch the movie, and then I'm gonna drive 'em home."

"_I'm_ Jesse," Jesse introduced himself with a smirk.

"My name's Louis," Louis said, averting his green eyes to the ground.

The third little boy hid behind Jesse, saying nothing. Jesse realized and shook his head.

"That's Andy. He's my little brother. But he's a big scaredy cat."

"Am not," Andy mumbled. "I just don't like scary movies."

"Well….it's nice to meet you all," Kate said, uncertainly. "Uh, James, can I talk to you in the kitchen for a minute?"

She got up and Sawyer followed her as the three boys settled on the floor in front of the TV with their candy.

"What are you doing?" she asked, quietly.

"What?"

"How can you just let the three of them in here? You don't even know them."

"You think they'd be better off out _there_ all night?" he gestured to the front door. "Look, Freckles. I made a deal with 'em. I told 'em they can stay as long as they let me drive 'em home after."

She stared at him, speechless and shocked.

"_What_??" he asked, annoyed. "What's that face for?"

"I'm just….a little surprised," she smiled sheepishly.

"Why?"

"I didn't think…I mean…" she looked down, then back up at him with a grin. "You'll make a good father."

Before he had a chance to respond, she was out of the room and lying on the couch once again. He smiled to himself, proudly, and rejoined her in the living room. Jesse and Louis were sitting with their backs against the coffee table, in front of the television, indulging in their candy. Andy was sitting on the armchair next to where Kate was lying on the couch. Sawyer took a seat on the couch, lifting Kate's feet onto his lap. Andy stared at Kate's stomach.

"Are you gonna haff a baby?" he asked.

She half-smiled. "Yeah. I am."

"Shh!" Jesse said.

"You shouldn't eat all your candy right now, guys," Kate told them.

Jesse turned around halfway with narrowed eyes.

"You're not my mother."

Kate raised her eyebrows.

"No, but don't forget that you're getting a ride home later."

His eyes widened and he turned back around to watch the movie. Andy poked through his bag of candy, constantly brushing his light blonde hair out of his blue eyes. Kate kept looking back and forth between Andy and Jesse. They looked almost exactly alike, except for the height difference and their hair. They were both blue-eyed blondes, but Jesse's hair was a darker blonde than Andy's. Louis, on the other hand, had bright red hair, and green eyes. His pale skin was dotted with freckles.

"Hey lady?" Andy asked.

Kate turned her head. "Kate," she smiled.

"Oh." He looked down, shyly, and held out his hand. "Here."

She glanced at his hand and saw a miniature candy bar in it. She smiled again.

"That's okay. You can keep it," she told him.

"No, you have it. It's a present."

Kate reached and took the candy. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

After an hour of loud chatter and fighting during commercials from the kids, it grew quiet. Kate was still lying on the couch, her feet on Sawyer's lap. Sawyer was rubbing them, subconsciously. They hadn't noticed until the movie ended that all three children had fallen asleep. Andy had fallen asleep on the chair, clutching his candy bag – which he had to keep guarding from his brother all night – to him. Jesse and Louis were lying curled on the floor, surrounded by candy wrappers.

"It's ten o'clock," Kate told Sawyer. "You'd better get them home."

"When did we suddenly get infested with kids?" he asked. "First Huey, then Clemmy, now them?"

"Maybe it's a way of preparing us?" Kate offered.

"Yeah, you would say that…" he muttered, getting up.

She laughed. "Well how should I know?"

"C'mon ya'll. Time to go," Sawyer said loudly.

The crinkling of candy wrappers filled the room. Jesse and Louis sat up slowly, sleepily rubbing their eyes. Andy pushed himself up on the chair, still clutching his bag.

"So much for your movie," Sawyer taunted.

"We got to see the good parts," Jesse shot back.

"You didn't see the ending though," Sawyer went on. "And the end was the best."

Jesse narrowed his eyes, and looked away.

"You three, outside," Sawyer told them. "I'll be right there."

"Oooh. He's gotta give the lady a big kiss good-bye," Jesse teased.

"That's right," Sawyer grinned.

Annoyed, Jesse stomped outside after Louis. Andy started to follow but turned back to Kate.

"Bye."

"Bye, Andy," Kate grinned.

When they were all outside, Sawyer leaned over Kate.

"Don't you go anywhere," he said softly, letting his lips linger over hers.

"Wasn't planning on it," she murmured.

He brushed her lips with his, softly, fighting his craving for more. She lightly pushed him away.

"You'd better go."

"Yeah, yeah. Just wait 'til I get back."

"Don't even think about it," she warned, laughingly.

"Like I said…" he called over his shoulder, gripping the doorknob. "Rules were made to be broken."


	53. Chapter 53

Quickie:

**SassyLostie** - Yeah, I guess Sawyer is being inconsiderate. But hey, the man's got himself some needs...just like anyone else...P  
**bonboni** - Well, being that you're so psychic, I'd think you'd already know. Hehe!  
**LostSista** - Kids aren't the brightest though. At least not these days. And anyway, this is just another example of _fiction_! Muahaha.  
**LordXwee** - Well, good thing Sawyer's not a bad stranger.

**Chapter 53**

Along with the progressing pregnancy, came the rapid change in seasons. Soon Autumn's beautifully colored leaves began to litter the ground, and the air grew cooler. Days came and went, nights lingered on forever – especially for Sawyer. Since the doctor's diagnosis, Kate refused to have sex with him, worried that they might cause damage to the baby. Sawyer argued with this, using one of his teasing remarks - "Well where do you think dimples come from, Freckles!?" – to which Kate did _not_ laugh. The tension was growing, even with Thanksgiving right around the corner.

"You know, your mood swings are starting to get worse than mine," she told him.

"Oh please. Do you _know_ what a pain in the ass you can be?"

She put her hands on her hips.

"Do you know how much of a pain in the ass _you_ can be?"

"Yeah but at least I'm not a pain all the time."

"Ha!"

"What?"

"Not all the time? You're more stubborn than your own kid!"

"I am not!"

"Oh really?" she laughed.

"You know what…"

"No. What?"

"It wasn't a question!" he snapped.

Kate put a hand to her stomach, and hurried to sit at the kitchen table. Sawyer's expression changed.

"You all right, Freckles?"

She exhaled sharply. "I'm _fine_."

"I was just askin'," he narrowed his eyes.

"I know. It's just moving around a bit. Makes it a little hard to breathe."

"Then tell it to stop."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm sure it would understand that…"

"Well, pardon me for tryin' to help!" he said, storming out of the room.

"James…" she sighed.

* * *

The next afternoon – Thanksgiving, as a matter of fact – Kate and Sawyer were on better terms. But that was a normal thing, lately. They would have their bad days, and then a good day, only to be followed by more bad days. Despite it all, they were able to get through it. But not without complaints. Sawyer decided since Kate was obviously incapacitated, he would make some sort of attempt at a Thanksgiving dinner. He even bought a small turkey. 

Unwilling to let him go at it alone, Kate sat at the kitchen table, peeling potatoes and ears of corn, with a bowl of sliced fruits in front of her to snack on. As she started to peel the next potato, the peeler got caught on an eye and the skin flew into the air, hitting Sawyer in the back of his neck. He turned around, stunned. Kate's dropped jaw slowly closed.

"You did that on purpose," he smirked.

She laughed. "No, I didn't. The peeler got caught."

"Yeah, yeah."

He plucked the skin off his neck and tossed it into the trashcan. A moment later, he felt something hit him in the back of the head. He looked down at the floor and saw a grape. When he turned around, Kate was smiling.

"Now, _that_ – that was on purpose," she grinned.

"You're settin' a great example for the kid," he teased.

"You're one to talk."

"Just peel your damn potatoes…."

"What're you doing over there?" she said, trying to see around him.

"I'm stuffin' the bird."

"You know it's going to take longer to cook that way."

His shoulders slumped, and he shook his head.

"Then we'll just have to wait longer. I'm not sittin' here stickin' my hand up his ass for no damn reason."

Kate laughed. "Okay."

A few hours later, Kate was lying on the couch in the living room, relaxing and letting Sawyer cook his meal. He suddenly let out a loud cry in pain, startling her.

"Son of a _bitch_!"

"What happened?" Kate got to her feet.

"I burnt my hand," he said, annoyed.

Repressing a grin, she entered the kitchen.

"How did you manage to do that?"

"I was tryin' to light the stove. This piece of crap doesn't light itself anymore."

She glanced at the old, run down stove over his shoulder.

"Do you ever stop to think that you really need to get some new appliances and furniture in this house?"

"With what, my looks?"

"Actually…"

"Ha ha. Just spew out all the con jokes. Hit me while I'm down…"

"Don't be so uptight," she said, putting a hand on his shoulder. She took his burnt hand in hers, to examine it. "It doesn't have to be perfect you know."

"I know…"

"Run it under cold water."

"What?"

"Your hand," she said, opening the freezer.

"Oh."

He did as he was told and watched her get the ice.

"It's not like this is the first Thanksgiving we've been together for," she continued.

"No, but we didn't exactly celebrate it last year."

"Listen to you," she laughed, closing the freezer door.

"What?"

"I didn't know you were such a thankful man," she said, wrapping the ice in a towel and handing it to him.

"I'm thankful for a lotta things," he said, wrapping his other hand around her waist. His eyes traveled down to her stomach, then back up to her face.

"Me too," she smiled up at him.

They shared a soft, loving kiss. Kate felt the iced hand on her back, and arched, pulling away.

"You did that on purpose," she teased.

He grinned. "Maybe."

She paused. "What's burning?"

Sawyer's eyes widened. He hurried to the stove and realized the vegetables and diced potatoes he'd been cooking in the skillet were now blackened.

"Son of a….damnit!"

"Well…it's okay," she assured him. "There's still the corn."

While he turned the fire on the skillet off, Kate lifted the lid of the pot where the ears of corn were boiling, and noticed them looking a bit unappetizing.

"How long ago did you put these in?"

"I put 'em in the same time as the bird."

"How long ago was that?"

He looked down, sighing. "An hour and a half."

Kate tried as hard as she could to keep from looking at him like he was and idiot. She sighed. Sawyer spared a glance in the oven at the turkey, and his anger rose. He angrily ripped open the door to the oven and pulled the turkey out. It was still raw and pink, stuffing pouring out of it.

"You…turned the oven on, right?" Kate asked cautiously.

"Yes!" he sneered. "The damn thing must be broken!"

Even more furious, Sawyer swept his arm across the stove, the vegetables, skillet, and turkey all flying to the floor. He screamed out in pain, again. The flame where the skillet had been on was only lowered, instead of turned off. The same hand he had burnt before was now burnt down his wrist.

"Sawyer!" Kate shouted.

"SON OF A BITCH!"

* * *

Soon after the burn incident, Kate took Sawyer to the hospital to make sure there wasn't any terrible damage to his hand and wrist. Sawyer insisted on driving home – a fight that Kate lost. He pulled into the parking lot where The Parlor resided, to go into the pharmacy beside it and retrieve the cream the doctor prescribed. 

"Why is The Parlor open, today?" Kate asked, when he got back.

"It ain't. Cassie lives in the apartment above it. Jerry usually keeps her company during the holidays since she ain't got no family."

"Jerry doesn't have family either?"

"Well, his folks are both dead. And he and his brother don't get along, so he just stays with Cassie."

Kate looked at the two in the window of The Parlor, sympathetically. Just as Sawyer was about to start the car, Kate stopped him.

"Why don't we say hello?" she said. "It's the least we could do. Since we're here..."

"Why not?"

They got out of the truck and went over to The Parlor. Sawyer knocked on the locked door. Jerry waved, and Cassie immediately rushed over to open it.

"James! Kate! What brings ya'll around here today? Shouldn't you be with your family?"

"What family?" Sawyer said, grimly.

"Well what about you, sweetpea?" she asked Kate.

"My parents are out of town," Kate lied, not wanting to make the mood anymore downtrodden than it was.

Sawyer glanced at her, and she looked down. But he understood.

"Well, you two are more than welcome to stay. Jerry's cooked up a feast! We was just talkin' about how much leftovers there's gonna be. Come over here. Sit, sit."

"Thanks, Cassie," Sawyer said.

"Oh you two are more than welcome. And look at _you_!" she exclaimed, eyeing Kate's stomach. "You didn't tell me you were expectin'! When's it due?"

"February," Kate smiled, taking a seat.

"How far along are you, exactly? And do you know what it is? Ooh! What are you gonna name it? Oh, Jerry, ain't this exciting!?"

As Cassie chattered on, Sawyer soon forgot the pain in his hand, and he and Kate feasted on Jerry's thanksgiving dinner. Sawyer stayed silent while Kate, Cassie, and Jerry conversed, admiring Kate's laughter and smile. He realized that he was right where he should be on this day - with Kate and their baby, and Cassie and Jerry. With his family.

Outside, the first few flakes of snow could be seen slowly finding their way down to the ground…


	54. Chapter 54

Quickie:

**xKatie-Bearx - **Don't be suspcious. Listen to Kate.  
**LordXwee** - Good advice. P  
**faith** - Yay! Glad to see you made it!

It's nice to get some fluff between the angst, no? Well, I sure hope this chapter makes up for things.

**Chapter 54**

A few more weeks passed, along with a few light snowfalls. Cassidy had called during that time, asking permission to bring Clementine over the week before Christmas. Thouh puzzled as to why Cassidy would let her daughter spend the holiday with him, he missed his daughter and could only agree. And soon enough, there she was at the door – a few inches taller, and a few months smarter. Kate took Clementine upstairs to get situated while Cassidy requested a few minutes alone with Sawyer.

"So, uh," Sawyer cleared his throat. "You want some coffee or somethin'?"

"That's all right."

"All right. So what's on your mind?"

She took a long pause before starting.

"I know that I haven't been the easiest to tolerate," she started. "And I know you think I'm a terrible mother."

"I didn't – "

"Let me finish, James."

She looked down. When she looked up, Sawyer swore he saw tears welled in her eyes.

"And…maybe I am. But I _try_, damnit! I try to take care of her the best I can. I try to do all the right things for her, 'cause all I want is for her to be happy. But if I can't even get along with you…how is she gonna be happy?"

"Cassidy…"

"And maybe I was selfish," she ignored him. "But I've come to a realization, James. I realize this ain't about _me_. I gotta put the past behind me. For her sake. For her sake, I gotta stop hatin' you. Because it affects her. And…I don't want her to be pained because of me."

"I think you're bein' a little paranoid, Cass."

"That's why I asked you if I could bring her now. Instead of after. I've had her to myself for six whole years. And you've only known her a couple of months! Every little girl needs her daddy," she stared at him, clearly holding back tears.

Sawyer held her stare, firmly, unsure of how to respond. It was so unlike her, and extremely abrupt.

"So she's my Christmas present to you, James," Cassidy forced a smile. "And Kate."

He looked down. "Thank you, Cassidy."

She nodded, and rose, heaving a huge sigh.

"So, um, I have a bunch of presents in the car for her. From me. Well…not from me. From _Santa_. She was so worried the whole way here that he wouldn't find her here," she laughed.

"I'll help you put em in the shed. For now."

"The shed?"

"I'll move 'em to the attic when Kate takes her out somewhere."

"All right."

After a few minutes of hauling gifts, Cassidy was back at her car door, and Sawyer stood in front of her.

"That's all of 'em."

"Lucky kid," he teased.

Cassidy nodded, opening her car door.

"Lucky Kate."

He sighed. "Cassidy…"

"No, really. She's lucky to have you. And…don't worry. I know she'll love it." She looked down for a moment, then leaned up and kissed Sawyer on the cheek. "Merry Christmas, James."

He grinned. "Merry Christmas, Cassidy."

* * *

After a few days of shopping for Christmas gifts for Clementine – as they had forgotten – Sawyer forced Kate to take Clementine out so he could bring the gifts Cassidy brought upstairs to join the ones _they_ bought. Confused as to why they couldn't just wait until Clemmy was asleep, Kate finally agreed and took Clementine out to buy new bedding. She had mysteriously decided she wanted to sleep in the _downstairs_ guest room, claiming that she didn't want to be so close to her daddy's room because she was a "big girl now". So Kate suggested making it her permanent room, starting with decorating.

An hour later, Kate returned with a sleeping Clementine in her arms. She heard Sawyer up in the attic, so after putting Clementine down, she decided to join him.

"Hey," she greeted.

"Hey yourself."

"Is there anymore left?" she asked, pointing backward.

"Nope. Just finishing up now."

"Oh."

"Least she won't have to worry about Santa findin' her."

Kate smiled. "You know, we don't have a tree to put them under."

"Yeah. Guess I'm gonna have to find my dad's old axe…"

She smiled, impressed, and folded her arms. Without having to look at her, he knew.

"What?"

"You're going to cut one down?"

"Where else am I gonna get a tree?"

"I don't know. I'm sure they sell them somewhere around here."

He shook his head. "Waste of money. And gas."

"Since when does that matter?"

"Since it started snowin'," he said, suddenly preoccupied with searching for something.

"What?" she asked confused.

"Nevermind."

"What are you looking for?"

"Nothin'."

"If you tell me, I can help," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Just a watch."

"A watch?"

"It used to be in this box," he said, searching through it. "Right on top."

"Well…it's just a watch."

"It was my _dad's_ watch!" he snapped.

"Oh."

"Ah," he said, picking up a smaller box. He opened it, and his face faded into a glare. "Son of a bitch…"

"What?" she drew closer.

"It ain't in here."

"Well…I'm sure it'll turn up someday."

"You don't get it, Freckles. It was my dad's watch. But he gave it to me." He paused, rubbing his neck. "...the last Christmas he was around for."

She frowned. It was strange to hear Sawyer so sentimental. He hardly ever was. She walked over and helped look in adjacent boxes.

"It's got some writin' on the back."

"I don't see a watch here."

"It's gotta be…"

"Maybe it's somewhere under all of these gifts?"

He groaned. She put a hand on his shoulder as he hung his head in defeat.

"We can look for it together. After all these gifts are moved. Okay?"

"All right," he said quietly.

She walked to the door and turned, waiting for him.

"You coming?"

"I'll be down in a minute."

She nodded, leaving him alone.

As she entered the kitchen, she saw something sitting on the counter. It was a watch. She smiled, slightly, wondering if it was the same watch he had lost. It was pretty dirty and old. It didn't look like any watch from this lifetime. She turned it over and wiped the dust from the back. There it read "From father to son. Ford 1944." She stared at the front again. The hands weren't moving. That's when she got the idea. She'd been wondering for days now what to get Sawyer for Christmas, and this...this was _perfect_.


	55. Chapter 55

Quickie:

**SassyLostie** - (sigh) I try to make Cassidy a bit human and your heart starts to pound with fear. I didn't know I corrupted so well!  
**xKatie-Bearx** - Christmas baby? I don't think so. She's about...seven and a half months? Something like that. So not just yet.  
**sivan** - See above.  
**LordXwee** - Haha. I know, I'm terrible at keeping the timelines the same. Aw well. And magical Sawyer...oh lordy. Hahah!

Jeebus guys! Just about _everyone_ got scared Cassidy was gonna skip town. And again, just about _everyone_ is afraid what Sawyer is going to do when Kate gives him the watch. Ya'll are some scaredy-cats. Hehe. Just kidding. Sorry it's been longer than usual. Midterm week...blah. Anyhoot, enjoy!  
**  
Chapter 55**

The next afternoon, Sawyer and Clementine were sitting in the living room. There were cartoons on the tv, miniature dolls strewn across the floor and leading to a dollhouse, and an empty plate that was once layered with cookies. Kate was walking down the stairs, fully dressed and seemingly ready to go out.

"Hey Kate?" Clementine called. "Where ya goin'?"

Sawyer looked up and saw her at the last step, frozen.

"I…was just going to run to the store real quick," she quickly made up. Spying Sawyer's curious stare, she added, "We need to make some cookies and milk for Santa tonight, don't we?"

"Oh yeah…" Clementine remembered.

While Kate walked into the kitchen for a moment, Sawyer glanced at Clementine.

"Sunshine…" he whispered.

When she looked up, he winked at her. She tried to imitate, mouth ajar, eye shut tight. Kate emerged, having seen.

"What was _that_?" she asked, amused.

"Nothin'!" Sawyer and Clementine said, simultaneously.

"What are you two up to?"

""Nothing," they repeated.

They glanced at each other.

"Can't a guy wink at his own daughter?"

"Or at her own daddy?" Clementine added innocently.

Kate shook her head. They really were two of a kind. Giving up, she gave Sawyer a quick peck on the cheek and waved good-bye to Clementine. Once Kate was gone, Sawyer turned to his daughter.

"All right, Sunshine. You know the deal. You get your shoes on, and I'll call Jerry."

"You got it boss!" she said, giving her father a thumbs up.

* * *

With some difficulty, Kate drove the truck into town, passing by _The Parlor_. She spotted Cassie inside, taking an order. However, Jerry was outside in front, just coming out the door. She stopped and honked the horn. He looked up and waved, but Kate didn't leave.

"Hey Jerry," she called.

"Howdy Kate."

"Where are you headed?"

"Oh no. I was just goin' to get something from my truck."

What was it with men and trucks in this area? Or maybe it was just Sawyer and his friends…

"All right. Take care!"

"You too."

She drove off, further into town until she reached her destination – the jeweler's. She was able to sneak off the other day and bring the watch in to them. Thankfully they said they could get it finished in a couple of days.

She walked into the store and spotted the man she had left the watch with.

"Hello," she said, smiling.

"Hello, again," he smiled back.

"So, was it repairable?"

"Well there was some trouble getting the back open," he explained, going around the counter. "It's a very old piece. But we were able to get it working again."

"That's great," she said, breathing a sigh of relief.

The man retrieved a box and opened it up on the glass counter for Kate to see. Inside lay Sawyer's watch, shining gold and clean. Not a trace of dust or tarnishing. The little second hand leapt past each number. She picked it up and turned it over, reading the clear engraving. It all looked brand new. She knew Sawyer would love it.

"This is perfect."

* * *

Later that evening, Sawyer was busy helping Clementine bundle up to go outside. Kate was upstairs getting dressed, and Sawyer – of course - wasn't ready at all. 

"Are we gonna make a snowman?" Clementine asked.

"We're gonna go cut down a Christmas tree."

"Can I cut it down!?" she asked, excitedly.

"I'm not sure you got the strength, short stuff."

"I'm strong!"

"Yeah? Lemme see those muscles."

She tried to raise her arm but it was too layered to prove anything, let alone move. Sawyer laughed.

"No fair…"

"Maybe next year."

She stood up off the bed and placed her mittened hands on his face, staring directly into his eyes, pleadingly.

"Please daddy?" she asked, sweetly.

He sighed, unable to resist those eyes. "Fine. You can take a whack or two."

"Yay!"

"Go ahead in the back. Me and Kate'll be out in a second."

"I'm gonna make a snow angel for you, daddy," she called, running out of the house.

He walked out of Clementine's room, bumping into Kate who was already ready. Sawyer looked her up and down.

"How many layers you got on, Freckles?" he asked, smirking.

She folded her arms. "Three."

"Hmm."

She grabbed his arm as he brushed past her to go upstairs.

"Don't even think about it."

He looked down, then grinned back at her.

"You're gonna be pretty cold in a while, Freckles."

"There's more than one way to warm up, _James_," she said soft and seductively.

"Don't I know it."

She shook her head and let him go, heading outside to Clementine. _Damn_, he thought. And he thought he almost had her…


	56. Chapter 56

Quickie:

**SassyLostie** - Hehe, kidney.  
**sivan** - Clem and Sawyer? Up to something? Pfft...  
**xKatie-Bearx** - I kind of like Katy better. It's unique. :-)  
**Number1GSRCSIfan** - Happier? I thought I was doing a good job...hehe. Oh well, I'll try!

Sorry it's been so long. I've been busy. But I kept thinking every day, "Damn, I have to update Baby Steps." And never actually got around to doing it. So sorry for the long wait! (I hope it's worth it...)

**Chapter 56**

The next day was Christmas Eve – filled with cookie making, tree trimming, and vacuuming galore. And by the evening, popcorn stringing was on the venue.

"How about Dustin?" Sawyer suggested, picking up another piece of popcorn from the bowl.

"Sounds too dirty," Kate replied, also picking a piece of popcorn.

"How is it dirty!?"

"Dust?"

"You're hard to please…"

"Well I thought Cameron was a great name."

"It sounds _stupid_."

"I like Clementine," Clementine chimed in.

"Course you do," he grinned, tossing a piece of popcorn at her.

"Heyyy!" she giggled.

"You just keep hangin' those ornaments, Sunshine."

"Fine. But I still think Clementine is good."

"But Clementine's _your_ name," Kate said. "How would we know the difference?"

"I don't know."

"Besides. We don't know if it's a boy or girl."

"Well I think you should have a girl."

"It's ain't up to _us_," Sawyer told her.

"Who's it up to?"

"How the hell should I know?" he muttered.

"Jack would know," Kate murmured.

Sawyer glared and threw a piece of popcorn at her.

"Hey!" she laughed, picking up the piece. "We need these to put on the string, remember?"

"There's no way this is gonna go around the tree, Freckles. You can't even get them onto the damn string. All they do is break!"

In response, she held up her end of the string, perfectly lined with popcorn. Sawyer looked down at his – a bare piece of string with 5 lone pieces of popcorn.

Kate laughed. "Good job."

"Yeah, well then why don't you do it?" he said, getting up to sit by Clementine. "I'll just hang ornaments with my _daughter_."

"Is that supposed to hurt me?" she said, with a clever smiled.

"Know what?" he said, getting up. "I'm gonna go check on those cookies."

"Try not to burn yourself this time," she called over her shoulder.

"Ha ha," he echoed from the kitchen.

"Kate?" Clementine asked.

"Yeah?"

"Is Santa going to find me here?"

"Of course he will."

"What if he goes to _my_ house? And I'm not there?"

"He'll know you're here. He always knows where you are. Didn't you know that?"

Clementine shook her head.

"He's always watching you. To make sure you're a good girl."

"Always?" Clementine asked, hesitantly.

Kate smiled. "Well…most of the time."

"So….he can see me right now, right?"

"Yeah."

"Then I'm gonna be _extra_ good. So that he doesn't forget my presents."

Sawyer reentered the room, and sat back down on the couch beside Kate.

"Are they done?" she asked.

"Yeah. I took 'em out so they cool off."

"Really?" she grinned. "And no burns?"

"You ever gonna let me that one down?"

"Probably not," she laughed.

Kate put down her string, and slowly sat up.

"Hey Clem, do you want some hot chocolate?"

"Yeah!" She paused. "I mean, yes please."

"What about you?" she softly asked Sawyer.

"Hot cocoa ain't gonna heat me up enough," he smirked.

She grinned. "Then I guess you'll just have to find another way."

"Baby, I got all kind of ideas."

She got up, but leaned close to him.

"As long as none of them involve me."

"You know, one day you're gonna want it and I'm gonna make you suffer too!" he called after her.

"Want what?" Clementine asked.

He glanced at her, trying to come up with something to tell her. Then he got an idea.

"My Christmas present."

"Why doesn't she want you to have it?"

"She doesn't think I'll like it."

"But she won't know if she doesn't give it to you."

"That's right, Sunshine." He lowered his voice. "Know what? Come here a sec."

She did and he whispered into her ear. A moment later she smiled.

"Okay."

"That's my girl."

In a few minutes, Kate reentered the room with three mugs of hot cocoa. She placed them all on the coffee table and sat beside Sawyer on the couch once more. Clementine looked at Sawyer and he nodded.

"Kate?" Clementine stood.

"Yeah?"

"How come you won't give daddy his Christmas present?"

Kate stared, confused. Then she turned and glared at Sawyer in realization, thwacking his chest with the back of her hand.

"You're unbelievable!"

"Hey! That hurt," he laughed.

"You have no shame, do you?" she shook her head.

"It was worth a shot!"

"Clementine, your father isn't getting his Christmas present because he's been very bad."

"He has?" Clementine raised her eyebrows, amused.

"Yep."

"I thought you said it was 'cause she didn't think you'd like it?" she turned to her father.

Kate laughed. "Is that what you told her?"

"Would you rather I told her the truth?" he retorted.

"Daddy, you lied to me!?"

"I didn't lie to you, sunshine."

Clementine put her hands on her hips, refusing to believe him.

"Know what? It's getting' pretty late. I think maybe you oughta get to bed."

"But I don't wanna!" she argued. "I'm not even sleepy."

"You want your presents, don't you?"

"Yes…"

"Well then, the sooner you get to bed, the sooner you can wake up and have your presents."

"Can we finish the tree first?"

He sighed. "All right."


	57. Chapter 57

Quickie:

**LostSista** - Still. A nice glance into the future, no?  
**LordXwee** - Haha! Sugar rush reviews are amazing.  
**faith** - Popcorn on the string...you know...stringing the popcorn and then wrapping it around the tree? Never heard of that?

Wow! Ten days? I am SO sorry for the delay. Another one of those times of constantly thinking "Hmm I have to update Baby Steps..." and just never getting to it. It's almost nearing the end of the semester so I have a lot more work to do. Plus I just started a new job, so forgive me for being so delayed. Hope I haven't lost anyone...

On the plus side, at least I'm closer to the time period now with the chapters. Haha.

**Chapter 57**

A little while later, the tree was finished being decorated, and Clementine retired to her room. She claimed she was not going to sleep because she wanted to stay up and see Santa. However, minutes after her head hit the pillow, she was fast asleep. Once she was, Sawyer went upstairs and started to bring the presents down, and surrounded the tree with them.

Afterward, Sawyer had started up the fireplace and Kate made more hot cocoa, and they sat together – Kate leaning back against Sawyer's chest - staring at the illuminated tree.

"What're we doin' about Santa's cookies, Freckles?" Sawyer asked, spying them on the table.

In response, Kate took one off the plate. Sawyer laughed.

"Well all right then."

"Somebody's gotta eat them," she replied between bites.

"They any good?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah?"

He took hold of her wrist and raised it to him, taking a bit out of her cookie.

"Mm."

"There are other cookies on the plate," she grinned.

"I wanted yours."

"You always want mine."

"I always want _you_," he said, leaning down and kissing her.

When he pulled away, her eyes were still closed, and she smiled. Slowly, her eyes fluttered open and she laughed.

"What?"

"Nothing," she grinned.

"Don't lie."

She sat up, facing him, and placed a hand upon his face. He stared at her, and she stared back, still smiling. She got up, suddenly.

"I'm gonna refill my cup," she said, softly.

His eyes trailed after her, until she disappeared from his view.

"You know," he called. "I still haven't found my watch yet."

"No?" she called back.

"Nope. And I seem to remember you tellin' me you'd help me look."

She said nothing.

"As soon as all the gifts were gone." He paused to listen, but still she said nothing. "Remember?"

She returned, mug in hand, and sat beside him again.

"I remember."

"Well I'm glad you _remember_, shortcake. Think you might wanna do somethin' about it?"

She glanced at the cable box beneath the TV, reading the time: 11:56p.m.

"Not yet."

He stared at her, curiously.

"What're you hidin', Freckles?"

"What?" she stared back, smiling nervously.

"You got that look. Like you got a dirty little secret."

"I have a lot of dirty little secrets, James."

"Yeah but those I know. I'm talkin' about somethin' else."

"I don't know what you're talking about," she sipped her hot cocoa, and glanced at the clock again. 11:57p.m.

Sawyer caught her glancing, and did too.

"Freckles, if you don't spill – "

"You want to talk secrets? How about the _you-know-what_ Clementine threatened to tell me about?"

He smirked.

"Didn't think I forgot about _that_, did you?" she smirked, too.

"Don't change the subject, Sassafras."

"Don't avoid the question." 11:58p.m.

"What do you keep lookin' at over there?"

"Nothing."

"All right, that's it," he said, starting to tickle her.

"Hey!" she squealed, trying to hold her cup away from her. "You're going to make me spill this!"

"You gonna tell me what you're hidin'?"

"Stop!" she laughed, trying to put the mug onto the table.

"I'm waitin'!"

"SAWYER!"

He stopped. She put her mug down, and got up to go into the kitchen.

"Oh _sure_," he called. "Just run away."

"I'm trying to clean the cocoa you made me spill on myself."

Microwave clock: 11:59p.m.

"Well, maybe you shoulda told me."

She came back into the room, and stood in the doorway.

"And maybe you shouldn't be so pushy."

"Pushy?!"

He turned his head and saw her, then proceeded to get up.

"Might want to try being patient from time to time," she teased.

"What for?" he asked, now standing in front of her.

She ducked around him and sat down on the couch once more, quickly placing a small gift-wrapped box on the coffee table. Sawyer turned around and peered at her, then noticed the box. His eyes widened as he walked over to the couch.

"What the hell is that?"

She looked down, and said nothing. He picked it up carefully, and shook it lightly. No sound. He glanced at her, and she smiled.

"I didn't know we were exchangin' gifts…" he said quietly.

She tried to keep her smile from faltering, and shrugged. She didn't want him to know she was disappointed – even a little.

"Just open it."

He tore the wrapping off and stared at the black leather box in his hands. He stared at her while she rested her head sideways in her hand. Slowly he lifted the lid and gaped at the contents. He switched his gaze back to her. She only smiled again.

"I thought it was lost…" he said, lifting the watch from the box.

"I found it on the kitchen counter the day you were looking for it."

"So instead of givin' it back to me - "

"Well would you rather have it looking all beat up and old?"

"The way it looks don't matter."

She looked away, sighing. Sawyer noticed she was on the verge of getting up and pulled her back. She turned her head and gazed at him. Her looked down at her, and smirked.

"Thanks."

She glanced away, then back at him.

"You're welcome."

When he let go, she got up and took his empty mug from the coffee table and into the kitchen. Staring down at the watch, he grinned.

"Now I feel bad I ain't got nothin' for you," he called.

"Don't worry about it," she called back.

He laughed silently, hearing her sigh exasperatedly as she turned on the sink.

"If I'd _known_ – "

"Just forget it, James."

He got up and walked to the doorway of the kitchen.

"You mad, Freckles?"

"I'm fine."

After a minute of silence, Kate turned the sink off, and dried her hands. She then attempted to walk past Sawyer, but he blocked the doorway.

"Where you goin'?"

"I'm going up to bed."

He grabbed her arm.

"Hey. Come on, Freckles. I – "

"I'm tired," she said desperately. "I want to go to bed."

He sighed. "Fine."

She looked down, feeling bad for making _him_ feel bad. She looked up again and leaned close, giving him a long goodnight kiss.

"Merry Christmas, James," she said softly.

His eyes followed her as she walked to the stairs.

"Merry Christmas, Freckles…"


	58. Chapter 58

Quickie: 

So...anybody still here? Hehe.. 

**SassyLostie** - Well, one on one skateness is for sure heading your way in the near future. Teehee...  
**HotChilliGriffin** - Yes, it's been slow a bit. But I'm working on getting things heated up again. Ain'tcha never heard of filler chapters? Hehe!  
**MarteBarte** - No, it didn't kill me. But I bet the lack of update killed you! )  
**elie** - Heyy no I did NOT abandon this fic! Read below to find out what happened...

First off, I am SO SO SO SO sorry that it's been over a month since the last update. School got overwhelming in the last month.They decided to drop a few 10 page papers on us - aside from, you know, the normal homework we had to do - and then finals came around so I had to study up for those. Along with school, work has been a hectic schedule and there was hardly anytime to sleep, let alone eat! So I apologize for not being able to update. Well...actually the reason I couldn't update was because I didn't have anything written. But the aforementioned struggles are what prevented me from writing. You'll be happy to hear that I was able to make some time - laying in bed sick for 2 days straight - writing up _four_ more chapters. As I said once before, I estimate this story ending at 65 chapters. I am working now on 62. (tear) So look forward to some good stuff soon. D

Secondly, you guys sure are giving Sawyer some credit. What with all these "Oh I'm sure he's got something up his sleeve". But wouldn't it be just like him to not have something? To not have realized? I don't know. Maybe that's just me then...

Last, HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!

**Chapter 58**

The next morning, Kate immediately stirred upon hearing the bedroom door creak open. She turned over and saw Clementine peeking in.

"Hi," Kate whispered.

"Hi," Clementine whispered back.

"You okay?"

Clementine nodded. "Santa found me!"

Kate smiled. "I told you he would."

"He left me lots of presents!"

"Yeah?"

"Uh-huh. Can I open them?"

"I think you should wait for your dad."

"When's he gonna wake up?"

"You can wake him up if you want," Kate grinned, mischievously.

Clementine's eyes widened. "Are you sure?"

"You want to open your presents, don't you?"

"Yeah…"

"Go ahead."

Clementine walked cautiously over to her sleeping father. She poked his arm lightly.

"Daddy?"

She poked again, harder.

"Daddy, wake up!"

He groaned.

"Come _on_! It's Christmas!"

He rolled over and faced Clementine's bright eyes.

"I got presents to open!"

"Who put you up to this?"

"What?"

He turned at looked at Kate. She looked down, smiling guiltily. He sighed.

"Fine," he rubbed his head. "Guess I deserved it."

"Maybe just a little," Kate replied, softly.

"Daddyyy!" Clementine urged.

"All right, all right! I'm goin'."

Clementine hurried out of the room and ran down the stairs. Sawyer sat on the edge of the bed for a moment, and glanced over his shoulder at Kate. She was looking down, gripping the edges. He got up and Kate turned halfway around.

"James…"

"Yeah?"

"Don't beat yourself up."

He turned around, peering at her.

"Over not getting me anything," she explained. "It's all right."

He opened his mouth to speak, but said nothing. As she slowly rose from the bed, he decided to play the con card once again.

"I didn't know," he said.

"It's okay," she shook her head. "Its not supposed to be about gifts anyway."

He nodded. "All right."

"Are you two coming or what?!" Clementine called.

"Easy, Sunshine," he called back. "How do you know Santa didn't bring you coal?"

She quieted after that.

"Guess we better get down there," Kate said.

He followed her down the hall to the stairs, glancing at the closed door of the guest room before descending...

After a while, Clementine's presents were all opened. She was pleased with each and every one. Sawyer, however, was not pleased with having to _put together_ each and every one. Kate relaxed on the couch while Sawyer working on setting up one of the toys, and Clementine played with the new accessories she'd gotten for her doll Emily.

"Hey daddy," Clementine said, sounding as if she had come to a sudden realization.

"What is it, Sunshine?"

"What about Kate's present?"

Kate's eyebrows lowered and she looked at Sawyer. He didn't look at her however – his eyes stayed on Clementine.

"You didn't show her without me, did you??" she asked worriedly.

He sat back, licking his lips, finally looking at Kate.

"Nope," he grinned.

She stared back, the corners of her mouth turning up. She looked down, embarrassedly smiling. He wiped his hands together and got up off the floor.

"Guess we better show her."

Clementine hurried to her feet, waiting for Kate to get up.

"You…tricked me," she smiled up at him.

"Yeah," he smirked.

Then she began to shake her head. "You _conned_ me."

He laughed. "Tiger don't change his stripes."

"Clearly," she grinned.

"Come on, Kate!" Clementine urged, already at the staircase.

"Upstairs?" Kate asked, curiously.

"Uh-huh."

She looked up at Sawyer, cautiously.

"Come on," he nodded his head toward the stairs.

She took his hand and rose from the couch. They followed the eager Clementine up the stairs to the guest room.

"Open the door," Clementine said.

Kate glanced back and forth between the two of them, wondering what they had done. Slowly, she turned the knob and let the door swing open. She stood rooted to her spot, stunned. The room had been completely redecorated – for their baby.

The top of the walls was now bordered with paper bearing colorful toy designs. In one corner was a crib, in the other was a toy box. On the left side of the room was a wooden chair with a cushion, and a small bookcase, lined with children's books. On the right side of the room there was a changing table, equipped with everything needed, and beside it a dresser.

She looked up at Sawyer, speechless. He looked down, somewhat embarrassedly. Clementine, on the other hand, grabbed Kate's hand and began pulling her into the room.

"Come look at everything, Kate!"

She immediately ran over to the toy box and opened it up for Kate to see. Inside were building blocks, figurines, and several sorts of toys. Awestruck, Kate looked around the entire room, trying to formulate a single thought. She walked over to the crib, and slowly slid her hand across the top. Kate looked up at Sawyer who was leaning against the doorway, watching.

"You did all this?"

He looked down. "I had some help."

"I picked out the toys," Clementine chimed in.

"Only some of 'em," Sawyer corrected her.

"Well, the _good_ ones," she muttered, folding her arms.

"And Jerry helped bring everything up."

She shook her head, unable to speak. She looked down at the crib again.

"I picked the books too," Clementine said, pulling a book out from the shelf. "This one's my favorite."

She glanced down at Clementine then back at Sawyer.

"I don't know what to say."

"Well, a thank you'd be a good start," he teased.

She slowly sauntered over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. He smiled down at her.

"Thank you," she whispered, then kissed him soft and lovingly.

"Get a room," Clementine shouted.

Sawyer broke away and looked over Kate's shoulder at Clementine. Clementine's eyes widened, and she froze instantly.

"What'd you just say?" he said in a low voice.

Clementine gasped and darted out of the room and down the stairs.

"Hey!" Sawyer shouted, starting after her. "Get back here, Sunshine!"

Kate laughed as she slowly descended down the stairs, watching Sawyer chase Clementine around the couch. It was the picture of a perfect Christmas.


	59. Chapter 59

Quickie:

Argh. I did it again. I got preoccupied and couldn't update. Here's my lame excuse:  
I was working on more chapters and I had a lot of editing to do. But then the whole week before and OF New Year's I got bombarded with get togethers and stopped writing. SO...I'm sorry for that. For those of you who stuck around and read the last chapter, thank you for still being here! I know I'm a nuisance with updates lately. I'm working on getting better, I swear. (Hey at least this time it wasn't a month long wait!)

Happy New Year everyone. Hope all of you had wonderful holidays! Enjoy...if you dare! Hehe!

**Chapter 59**

Later that night, when everything had calmed down, Clementine sat playing with her toys, and Kate and Sawyer were working on baby names yet again. The arguing had already begun.

"Can you just stop saying that every name I suggest sounds like _Jack's_ kid?" Kate said, angrily. "It's _not_ Jack's kid. It's yours. So start acting like it!"

"Well maybe if you'd stop pickin' such stupid names – "

"Fine. What about _Con_nor?"

Sawyer narrowed his eyes. "How about _Chase_?"

"That's not funny."

"And Connor is?"

She sighed in exasperation. "Why don't we try some girl names then?"

"Like what, _Jacquelyn_?"

Instead of replying, she got up and threw the book at him. He shielded his face with his arm, and, smirking, picked up the book from his lap. By the time he looked up again, Kate was already in the kitchen.

"Daddy," Clementine started. "Why's Kate so mad?"

"Don't worry about it Sunshine."

"Clementine?" Kate called. "Come pick out what you want to eat."

Clementine got up, clutching Emily, and ran into the kitchen. Sawyer, meanwhile, started flipping through the book of baby names again. Why was this so hard? Probably because they didn't know what it was yet. Or was that just an excuse? There were really no names that stood out to him – not that he was looking hard enough anyway. He tossed the book on the table, in defeat.

In a few minutes, Clementine came back into the room and resumed playing with her toys. Kate followed soon after, and sat once again on the couch. She picked up the book and began to look through it again.

"We haven't decided on a middle name either," she said softly.

"Kinda depends on the first name, don't it?" he replied.

"I guess."

"Look, let's just pick somethin' already. We're runnin' outta time as it is."

But she stopped listening. She was reading something in the book intently.

"Freckles?"

"How about…_Bryce_?"

"_Bryce_?" he grimaced.

"No?"

"Bryce…"

"It's interchangeable. So if it's a boy _or _a girl..."

"I s'pose Bryce ain't bad. Bryce Ford. Kinda…has a ring to it."

"Bryce _Ford_? It's not going to be Bryce Ford."

"Why not?" he scorned.

"Because. Legally it would be Bryce Austen."

"Bull pucky. I'm its father. It's gonna be Ford."

"I'm giving _birth_ to this kid, James," she laughed. "Besides, we're not married. So it can't take your name."

"So, what? You wanna get married then?!"

She rolled her eyes. "We've already had that discussion."

"It's _just_ a last name!"

"Exactly. So why does it matter so much to you?!"

"Why do you gotta do that?"

"Do what!?"

"That thing you always do! It's like – "

"_What_ thing!?"

"- always guilt tripping me – "

"Well maybe if you'd just – "

"Just what? Sell you my soul?"

"You are the most stubborn – "

"Oh _I'm_ stubborn!?"

"Yes! You are! You don't even – "

"Freckles there is no way I am as stubborn as _you_! Especially with your mood swings and all – "

"Mood swings? What is that supposed to mean!?"

"You know damn well what it means!"

"You know what, I don't. Maybe you should explain!"

"I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll –"

"STOP FIGHTING!" Clementine interrupted.

Sawyer and Kate stared at her, in shock.

"All you guys always do is fight. It's Christmas! No fighting on Christmas," she said.

"Clemmy, we're not fighting," Kate said softly.

"Yes you are! You're yelling at each other!"

"We always yell at each other, Sunshine. You know that," Sawyer told her.

"Well don't. And 'specially not on Christmas," she replied. "It's mean."

Kate and Sawyer glanced at each other, then looked down shamefully. Clementine gazed at them, then slowly turned back around and quietly played with her toys again. They glanced at each other again, then looked away. Kate began to flip through the book again, and Sawyer stared at the floor.

"Mason?" she said quietly.

Sawyer's eyebrows lowered. He looked up at her.

"For a boy?"

"Either or."

"Ford or Austen?"

She narrowed her eyes cynically. He sighed and looked away.

"Ball's in your court, James."

Sawyer thought for a moment, deciding whether or not he liked the name. Finally, he nodded.

"Mason."

* * *

In the middle of that night, Sawyer was stirred awake hearing a loud gasping outside of the bedroom. He looked to his side and Kate wasn't beside him. He rolled his eyes at this. He knew there had been tension between them all night, but was that really necessary? Figuring Clementine was crying again, he got out of bed to follow the sound that had woken him.

As he started toward the stairs, he realized the sound wasn't coming from her room. In fact, it was coming from the opposite end of the hallway. He followed it to the bathroom. The door was opened only slightly. He peeked in and saw Kate on the floor her back against the tub. Her breathing was heavy and unsteady and she was clutching her stomach. He pushed the door entirely open and hurried to her.

"What's wrong?" he asked worriedly.

She looked up at him, her face draining of color.

"N-nothing. I'm fine," she breathed.

"Like hell you are," he said, kneeling beside her.

"Really," she said, then looked down grimacing.

"You're in pain, Freckles. Come on," he said, helping her up. "We're goin' to the hospital."

"Clementine – "

"She's comin' too."

He put his arm around her, lifting _her_ arm around him, helping her to walk. Whatever it was that was wrong, Sawyer had a bad feeling about it.


	60. Chapter 60

Quickie:

**HotChilliGriffin** - Kate is about 7 months along.  
**LordXwee - **Well darn those plot bunnies. Ben should take care of them!  
**Martebarte** - Man. Finding a good name.  
**Diger** - I know. I'm sorry!

sigh Again. I did it again. I am so sorry I'm taking forever to update. The real issue is that I can't update on my Mac because it's weird and doesn't let me edit things right. So I have to go on my OTHER computer which is a piece of crap. And it's just annoying. I know, that's terrible of me. We're getting down to the nitty gritty though. So I'm gonna try and update more often now. I know, I know. You've heard that before. Please don't lose faith! I love you all very much and hold you close to my heart.

P.S. - Sassy? Where'd you go:-(

Enjoy the roller coaster ride that's about to begin!

**Chapter 60**

The ride to the hospital was a blur. As soon as they got in, Kate was put into a wheelchair and out of sight. Sawyer was left in the waiting room with a pile of papers before he could follow. So he sat, Clementine beside him, anxiously filling out line after line.

"What's going on?" Clementine asked, still groggy. "Where are we?"

"We're at the hospital, Sunshine."

"Why?"

"I don't know why," he said, annoyed.

Clementine looked down, frightened. Sawyer sighed, and put an arm around her.

"Somethin's wrong with Kate is all," he said quietly.

"Is she gonna be okay?"

"I don't know."

Clementine studied her father's weary expression with concern. Without delay, she got up, standing in front of him. He hadn't noticed, for he was too busy staring blankly at the paperwork before him.

"Daddy?" she said in a small voice.

He looked up with an even wearier face. She put her small hands on either side of his face.

"Kate's gonna be okay."

"Think so?" he smiled.

"Yeah."

"C'mere," he said, lifting her into his lap. "You wanna help me fill out this paperwork?"

"Okay."

A little over a half hour later, Sawyer was finishing up the last page in the pile. Clementine was in the chair beside him again, fast asleep. He brought the papers up to the front desk, and minutes later, a nurse appeared.

"You're the father?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said, uneasily.

"Okay. Follow me. I'll take you to see her."

"Well, I…" he looked over at sleeping Clementine.

"Oh, I see. Well, we can put her in an empty bed for now, and one of our nurses can watch over her."

"Yeah," he nodded. "Yeah that sounds all right."

He was led to a room where Kate was lying in bed in a hospital gown. She looked terrified. When she saw him, she forced a smile, and he hurried to her side.

"Hey," she said quietly.

"Hey yourself," he said, looking her up and down. "Gotta say, Freckles. Polka dots ain't really your look."

She smiled, genuinely this time. His smile, however, faded.

"They say what's the matter?"

Now her smile faded. "Yeah."

"Well?"

"They said I was having contractions."

"Contractions? But I thought – "

"I know." She paused for a moment. "They're about ten minutes apart. They said…it might be…a premature labor."

He stayed quiet, as she went into another contraction, giving her his hand to hold for the pain. In a few minutes, Dr. Park appeared.

"Hello, Kate. Hello, James. How's everything going? Okay?"

Kate nodded, still clearly in pain. Dr. Park went over to the monitors and picked up the paper that was printing, taking a look.

"Okay," she said, still reading. "Those last two were seven minutes – a bit closer than the ten minute contractions you've been having. Now, as I understand, we're still eight weeks short."

"Right," Kate breathed.

"Let's just take a look," Dr. Park said, pulling the chair to the end of the bed. After a minute, she said, "Everything looks okay. When did your water break?"

Kate stared at her, confused. "It…didn't."

"Oh it definitely did," Dr. Park smiled.

"I don't…" Kate shook her head. "I didn't…"

"You took a shower," Sawyer pointed out.

Kate's eyebrows lowered. "Wouldn't I have…"

"Not necessarily," Dr. Park said. "Let's just do a sonogram and make sure everything is all right with the _baby_."

After setting everything up, they were all staring at the sonogram monitor.

"Okay…everything seems to be in ord – "

Dr. Park stopped, noticing something on the screen. Sawyer felt his hand being squeezed again, and looked at Kate. She was having another contraction. Dr. Park stared now.

"That wasn't even five minutes, Kate."

Kate breathed unsteadily, an expression of worry filling her face. Dr. Park got up and picked up the phone in the room. Sawyer smoothed Kate's hair away from her forehead.

"It's gonna be all right, Freckles," he said quietly.

She nodded, slightly trembling.

Suddenly, everything started to happen fast. Nurses and doctors filed into the room, helping to get Kate onto the stretcher. They all rushed into a delivery room, where Kate and Sawyer were parted. He was shoved into a small room being forced into blue scrubs and an unattractive cap. Then, he was beside Kate again. Her contractions were ongoing now.

"I don't want to do this!" she started to panic. "I can't!"

"You have to, Freckles," he tried to calm her.

"No! I can't. I can't do this, James!" she cried.

"Hey," he put a hand on her face. "Listen. You're gonna do this. You're gonna have this kid. You hear me?"

She stared at him, her eyes full of fear, nodding.

"Just think of how it's going to feel to hold the little bundle in your arms afterward," Dr. Park said.

"There ain't no backing out now," Sawyer whispered. "No more running, remember? This is it."

She stared at him, long and hard, absorbing his words. He was right. No more running.

"Okay," she breathed.

He kissed her forehead, and held her hand once more.

"Okay, Kate," Dr. Park said. "You know what I need you to do."

Kate nodded, still horrified. Sawyer blurred out all of the noise in the room, and even forgot the pain in his hand from Kate squeezing it. He watched with his heart pounding in his chest, as everything seemed to happen around him. Kate's screaming brought him back to his senses. He stared at her, in fright. He kept silently telling himself over and over that nothing was going to happen. This was normal. She'd be fine. Everything was going to be okay. They would be fine. They were having a kid. They loved each other. And then out of nowhere…

"Marry me," he blurted out.

Kate stared at him, shocked. "What?!"

He stared back, shocked that the words even slipped out of his mouth. How was he going to save himself with that one? But he didn't have to. Kate forgot what he said with the next wave of pain. In a moment, the sound of crying filled the room. He hardly heard Dr. Park announce the gender.

Sawyer turned back to Kate in time to see her head fall back against the pillow and her eyes close.

"Freckles," he shook her gently.

The monitor sounded off with a rapid beeping noise. The baby had disappeared from the room and suddenly all of the doctors' voices rose.

"We're going to have to take her to the OR," he heard Dr. Park say.

Sawyer had no idea what was going on. He kept shaking Kate, trying to awaken her, to no avail.

"Kate!" he started yelling.

"Get him out of here," Dr. Park said.

"Kate!" he kept yelling, as doctors grabbed his arms. "Get the hell off me!"

The doctors pulled harder, and he pulled back.

"Lemme go you son of a bitch!"

He fought as they pulled him out of the room, but his worry and fear had overpowered his strength. All he could see as he was pulled out of the room was the crimson that covered the bed, and a lifeless Kate laying in it.


	61. Chapter 61

Quickie:

**HotChilliGriffin** - It takes a lot of strength for an author to kill their main character. You definitely have that right.  
**SassyLostie** - You died?? Why didn't anyone tell me!? I didn't even get invited to the funeral or anything!  
**LordXwee** - You can send Ben after me! I love that man. He ain't got the looks but he's frickin fantastic anyway. Hehe.  
**Martebarte** - "Fix her" What am I, Jack? Hehehe. Just kidding.

See? I'm getting better at this updating thing!

(Only thing I will say is that I'm a little insecure about this chapter and how _real_ it seems. I'm not sure I did so well with characterization, but I guess you'll all let me know.)

**Chapter 61**

Sawyer was forced into the room Clementine was sleeping in, with no information on Kate. The doctors had told him they would get him when things had calmed down. But Sawyer could only think _if_ things calmed down…

All of the commotion had stirred Clementine from her sleep. She sat up slightly, looking at her father curiously.

"Daddy?" she asked, groggily.

He didn't answer her. He was still fixated on the closed door.

"Daddy?" she asked again. "What's wrong?"

"Go back to sleep, Clementine," he told her.

"Is Kate okay?"

"Go back to sleep," he said, more firmly.

She stared at him, sadly, and lied back down.

Sawyer sat in the empty chair in the corner of the room, gazing at his sleeping daughter. What had gone wrong? he thought. Did this always happen when babies were born earlier than they were supposed to be? Was that the reason? Did having the baby early put Kate at risk? Was this kid going to be to blame for Kate's death? _If_ she was dead…

Why was there so much blood? Was that normal? Probably not. There looked to be way more than there should have been. But how should he know? It's not like he had seen something like this before. It was all new to him. Just as new as it was to Kate…

She was in so much pain. But pain was part of the procedure. Right? Well of course it was painful, but…maybe she had been in more pain than normal. She was so worried. She even started to refuse. But he couldn't understand why. He knew she wanted it. She was ready for it. Wasn't she? Why was she so worried?

And come to think of it, something about Dr. Park's face even looked worried. They were all worried. Did they know something he didn't? Maybe they knew something was going to happen to her. Hell, maybe they even planned this. Those damn doctors. None of 'em could be trusted. Just like Jack. But who cared about Jack? Forget about Jack, he told himself. Back to the situation at hand.

She couldn't be gone. He would _know_ if she was. He would _know_. She was stronger than that. He knew she was. She wouldn't give up so easily. No more running, damnit! No more. Why was she doing it again? What was she running from?

A while later, the door opened. Sawyer immediately sprung from his seat. The doctor didn't have a face of sadness. That had to be a good sign.

"Mr. Ford, I was sent to ask if you'd like to see your son," she said.

_Son?_ he thought. Oh right. It was a boy. He'd almost forgotten, what with everything else going on. He nodded.

"Fine."

"Follow me," she said.

And he did. She brought him past the nursery and to a separate room. The door read "Intensive Care." They went inside and he was led to a separate room where only one incubator resided. There was a chair beside it.

"You can't take him out just yet," the doctor warned. "He's still in critical condition. We want to give him a day to make sure that all of his organs will function on their own, and to make sure he will live through the night."

"He could die?" Sawyer stared at her in shock.

"It is possible. I'm sorry, but you do need to be aware of the realities."

He glared at the floor. He could lose _both _of them…

The doctor closed the door behind him. He walked over to the incubator, and saw the name card. It read "Mason Austin _Ford_." Stunned, he read it over again. It must have been the doctors' mistake. But as he looked closer, he realized it was Kate's handwriting. And she hadeven managed to sneak in the "Austin" part - even if it was spelled differently, it was a compromise. They must have had her fill it out before the delivery. Why would she have written that, after all of the arguing hours ago?

Dreadfully, he sat down in the chair beside his son. He looked so tiny. But of course he did. He was born early so he wasn't entirely as developed as he should have been. Sawyer slowly stuck his hand in the hole, and took hold of Mason's tiny fingers. Slowly his eyes opened and he looked at Sawyer. He had Kate's eyes, Sawyer realized. He cleared his throat.

"How you doin' buddy?" he said quietly.

Mason stared at Sawyer's fingers now.

"You hangin' in there?" Sawyer nodded. "Yeah…So am I."

After a long pause, Sawyer sighed.

"You know your mother's gonna be fine." He rolled his eyes. "What the hell am I tellin' you for? You can't understand a word I'm sayin'."

He looked at Mason again, and surprisingly he looked as though he _could_ understand every word Sawyer was saying. Encouraged, he went on.

"But I mean…if you were worried you wouldn't get to meet her…don't be. She's gonna pull through. You'll see. You don't know her like I do. But you will. And your mom…she's strong. _Stubborn_, and strong. She ain't gonna let go that easy."

He sat back against the chair, exhaling long and slow.

"You know, she likes to run. She likes to try and get out of anything or anywhere by runnin'. Thinks she'll never get caught. She thinks she can just run away from this too. From you, and from me." He sat up again and looked at Mason. "That ain't to say she don't wanna be around _you_. You didn't do nothin' wrong. She loves you. It's just the way she is. When she gets scared, or overwhelmed, she just…runs."

He looked down.

"But see, the thing I can't figure out is why she'd have to run now. What the hell is it that's got her so scared?"

He took a long pause to think. Mason began to whine once Sawyer got quiet, and it eventually grew into a crying fit.

"Hey. Don't _you_ be scared now," Sawyer looked at his son again. "You got nothin' to be scared about. You got me and your mom to make sure of that. And you know, you got a big sister out there too. Clementine. She'll take real good care of you. Matter of fact, she's been waitin' for you. She's gonna be your best friend."

Mason stared at him with a seemingly disgusted expression. Sawyer laughed.

"She's not that bad. Her mother on the other hand…You know what, nevermind. Let's just keep talkin' about _your_ mother. That all right with you?"

Mason blinked.

"Didn't think so." After a long pause, Sawyer sighed. "You know…she's gonna be okay. I've seen her in worse times than this. Trust me. She'll be just fine…"

After a few minutes of silence, Sawyer looked over at Mason once more. He was looking around the room. His eyes fell on Sawyer again, and he grabbed one of Sawyer's fingers.

"Don't worry, bud," Sawyer assured him. "We'll get through this. One way or another. Whatever happens, you got me and I got you."

Sawyer stayed there the rest of that night, without even a wink of sleep. Mason never let go of his finger. Sawyer only pulled away the next morning when the door to the room opened slowly, with a creak…

_No one here to guide you  
__Now you're on your own  
__Only me beside you  
__Still, you're not alone  
__No one is alone  
__Truly, no one is alone.  
__People make mistakes  
__Fathers, Mothers...  
__People make mistakes  
__Holding to their own,  
__Thinking they're alone…_

_-__**No one is Alone**_

_(Leslie Henstock)_


	62. Chapter 62

Quickie:

So guys, here I am. Three months later. I'm still alive! I'm so sorry I haven't updated in so long. I know, I say that every time. But really, I am. A lot of stuff has been going on in my life - I know. I say that too. LOL You've all heard this from me before. But honestly, it's just been way too much stress for me and I haven't been motivated to write the chapters. I'm going to try and pick it back up over the summer, but I won't make any promises because you never know what's going to happen. I know I'm not going to leave the story unfinished though, that's for sure. I have all the ideas implanted in my brain. It's just a matter of when I can get them down, and feel like getting them down. Anyway, enough of my babbling. Accept my apology with a new chapter finally!! Please? No, really. Please?

So I'm not going to even go into replies to reviews. At this point, I don't think you want to bother reading them and just want to know what's happening, right?? Hehe. Enjoy!

**Chapter 62**

Sawyer turned around, ready to face what the doctor had to say. It was Dr. Park, finally, and her expression was blank – unreadable. He had no idea what to expect. He blinked away his exhaustion, and waited.

"I see you've met Mason," she said with a small smile. "He's a beautiful little boy."

"Yeah…he's little."

"Five pounds, twelve ounces. I'm sure he'll grow just fine."

"Cut to the chase, Doc."

She looked down. "Very well. Why don't we walk and talk?"

"Walk where?" he asked, slowly rising.

"You do want to see her, don't you?"

His heart leapt in his chest as he followed Dr. Park out of the room. He spared one last glance at his sleeping son before the door closed.

"You mean…she's all right?"

"She's stable, if that's what you mean. She's lost a _lot_ of blood," she explained. "So when you see her, don't be too surprised if she's weary. She needs as much rest as possible. We were able to do a transfusion, but she's going to need a few extra days to recuperate."

"But she's all right?"

Dr. Park stopped and turned toward him. "She's alive, James."

He stared at her, long and hard. "Okay."

They started walking again in silence.

"What happened anyway?" he asked. "Why'd she…"

"Go into shock?" He nodded. "The previa was the complication. You remember?"

He narrowed his eyes. "Yeah…I remember."

"It sent her into shock, which caused the hemorrhaging. It also caused Mason to lose quite a bit of blood. He's going to have to stay in the incubator in intensive care for most of the day. We need to make sure his organs will all function properly on their own."

"I thought you just wanted him to live to see today?"

"Better safe than sorry, James." She stopped at the door to Kate's room. "She's going to be very weak. Try not to be frightened by her appearance."

"Why would I – " he started, but stopped at the sight of Dr. Park's stare. "Fine."

"Just hit the call button if you need anything," she said, opening the door.

Sawyer walked in and stood rooted to his spot. The door behind him closed. He stared at Kate from the distance, overwhelmed by what he saw. Kate seemed to be asleep, but she didn't look well. She looked drained of color – so pale that her freckles stood out, even at his distance. There were wires connected to her all over the place. Slowly, he took a few steps toward her. As he did, her eyes opened and she turned her head to face him. A small smile formed.

"Hey," she said in a soft, tired voice.

"Hey yourself," he said, eyeing her. "Gotta say, Freckles. Polka dots just don't suit you."

She laughed. "I never thought so."

He sat in a chair that resided beside the nightstand.

"You look terrible," she smiled up at him.

"Yeah. Well…haven't been sleepin' too well."

She looked away, knowingly.

"So uh…how're you…how're you feelin'?"

"Tired," she said, wondering what had him so nervous.

"Yeah…Doc said you'd be. If…you wanna sleep some, I'll go," he said, rising from the chair. "And you could – "

"No. I want you to stay."

"Oh. All right then," he sat back down.

"James, what's wrong?"

"What?"

"With you. You're acting like…you've seen a ghost or something."

"You have no idea," he muttered.

"What?"

"Nothin'," he said, suddenly feeling a twinge of anger come over him.

She stared at him sadly, but decided not to push the subject.

"Have you seen the baby?"

"Yeah. He's in intensive care."

"He?"

"Yeah." He rubbed his head, trying to fight off the rage. "It's a boy."

She nodded. "Can I…ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"What you said last night…"

Sawyer felt his stomach twist. And he thought he was going to be able to escape that one.

"…Did you mean it?"

"I don't know," he said quietly, looking down.

"It's okay if you didn't. I mean I – "

"I just…I don't know, all right?"

"All right."

"I just said it."

She waited a moment, then spoke. "So…you didn't mean it?"

"Christ, Freckles! Can we just drop this?"

"It's a simple yes or no," she said loudly. Her chest was suddenly starting to hurt, she realized.

"I – DON'T – KNOW!" he shouted.

Her chest began to rise and fall rapidly. Fast, loud beeping filled Sawyer's ears. The heart monitor was going off. He looked at Kate but her eyes had fluttered closed. It was happening again.

Dr. Park entered, two nurses behind her. She checked the machine then Kate's pulse. She looked at Sawyer sternly.

"What did you do?" she asked firmly.

But he was too stunned to speak.

"Get him out," she said.

One of the nurses pulled him out, but he didn't fight back this time. He just stared at Kate, watching her life wane all over again.

The nurse sat him down in a chair outside of the room. It was only a few minutes until Dr. Park came out. She saw him sitting down, staring blankly at the wall, and sat down beside him.

"What happened?" she asked calmly. "James?"

"I yelled at her."

"Why?"

"She…wouldn't…kept…" he drifted.

"James?" She sighed. "Maybe you should go back to Clementine, and let Kate rest a while. When she's got more strength you can see her again, all right?"

He turned his head toward her sharply. "She's okay?!"

"She's fine. Just very weak. Your outburst caused her heart to start beating even more rapidly, and her blood pressure dropped even lower. We have to be very careful with her, James. She's not going to be able to handle your anger."

He looked down, feeling the blame weighing down on him.

"It's okay that you were afraid," she added after a long pause. "Most people go through all kinds of emotional breakdowns when they've nearly lost a loved one."

"I wasn't afraid," he snapped.

"Right." She stood.

"I wanna go back in there," he said, quietly.

"I don't think it's a good idea."

"I don't care what you think, Doc," he snapped.

She folded her arms. He lowered his head in defeat. Dr. Park unfolded her arms and put on a sympathetic expression.

"I know you're worried, but she needs rest."

He didn't respond.

"I'll take you back to Clementine."


	63. Chapter 63

Quickie:

OMG! She's ALIVE?? Is she actually updating this story?? :-)

Sooooooo sorry my loves. I know it's been awhile. Just had a big ol mess of my life going on. But I finally found some time and inspiration to finish writing this fic. Yes, it IS finished. Yes, it IS near the end. No, I'm not writing another story. Sorry. But all great things must come to an end. Besides, hasn't this just been dragging on and on and on? Aren't you just sick of it already??

You'd better not be. I might have to come through the screen and punch you if so. Heheh. Anyways, I left you at a bit of a dramatic moment. Luckily, this chapter has a bit more. Teehee. Again, sorry for the long wait. There are two chapters left of this fic, I hope you'll all be around to finish it with me! xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

**Chapter 63 **

Sawyer was led back to Clementine with the promise of seeing Kate later after she had slept a bit. When he got there, Clementine was already awake, watching TV and eating breakfast. A nurse was sitting in the room with her, combing Clementine's hair up into a ponytail.

"Hi daddy," Clementine said cheerfully.

"Hey Sunshine," he said dully.

"Where's Kate?"

He sat down in a chair, sighing. "Sleepin'."

"Is she okay?"

He didn't answer her. The nurse looked down and got up.

"I'll be back later," she told them.

Sawyer looked up and watched her leave, his eyes full of pain. His eyes finally rested on Clementine.

"I don't know."

She looked around, thinking. She pursed her lips, cocking her head to the side.

"Did she have the baby?"

He sat back exhaling. "Yeah."

Clementine sat up more. "She did!?"

He nodded, and tried to push away his sad thoughts, covering them with a smirk.

"Yeah. You got a little brother, Sunshine."

"A _brother_?" she grimaced.

He laughed. "Can't win 'em all."

"Can we go see him?"

"Sure."

Clementine hopped off the bed and grabbed Sawyer's hand. He looked down at it, surprised by the gesture. Clementine just looked up at him, impatiently. He held her hand and they walked down the halls, turning this way, then that way. Why were hospitals all designed like mazes? he thought to himself. They were passing the waiting room when he had to do a quick double take. Was that…that couldn't be who he thought it was…could it? Before they could see him, he pulled Clementine around the corner. He let out a long sigh of relief and continued toward the nursery.

They arrived at the door, and he led Clementine to Mason's secluded room. When he opened the door, he saw Dr. Park jump.

"Well hello there," she smiled.

"Hi," Sawyer said briefly.

"And who is this?" she nodded toward Clementine.

Sawyer looked down at Clementine and took a moment before he spoke. He just couldn't bring himself to say the word _daughter_.

"Clementine," he said.

Dr. Park smiled at Clementine. "Hi Clementine. I'm Dr. Park."

"Hello," Clementine said, quietly.

"Would you like to see your little brother?"

Clementine looked up at her father, then nodded. Sawyer released her hand and Dr. Park pulled a chair next to the incubator. Clementine climbed up and looked in.

"He's small," Clementine said in wonderment.

"Sure is," Sawyer responded as Dr. Park stood back beside him.

"His hands are so small! Smaller than mine!"

"Well, you're a lot older than he is," Dr. Park told her.

Clementine nodded and stayed quiet, carefully toying with Mason's tiny fingers. Sawyer took the opportunity to talk to Dr. Park.

"How is he?" he said softly.

"Still too weak to leave the incubator just yet, but he's holding up well."

"That's…good, right?"

"Yes. It's _very_ good."

He shifted his feet for a moment. "And Kate?"

"She's healing," she said, her tone of voice instantly freezing.

He looked down. "When can I see her?"

"When the time is right, James."

"And when exactly is that, Doc?" he said, growing annoyed.

She folded her arms, disliking his attitude. "Possibly after the visitors leave."

"Visitors??" he turned to her, both stunned and curious.

* * *

Kate looked out the window, her eyes slowly drooping closed. The door opened her eyes opened again instantly. When she looked up, she saw a familiar smiling face.

"Hey Jack," she said weakly.

"Hey," he smiled, closing the door behind him.

As he walked toward her bed, he picked her chart up from the end of it and thumbed through it. He sat beside her and his eyes scanned the sheets until Kate put a hand over it.

"Jack," she said with a smile. "For once in your life, be my friend, not my doctor."

He let out a short laugh and put the chart on the table beside them.

"How are you?" he asked.

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded. "Just tired."

"That's normal," he nodded. "You know I could let you sleep if you want. I could just come back – "

"No." She smiled. "I want you to stay."

He smiled back. "How's Sawyer?"

Her smile weakened. "Okay, I guess." She paused, and looked down sadly. "He, um…asked me to marry him."

"Oh," Jack snapped back, stunned. "That's…" he nodded. "Congratulations."

"No, I didn't…_he_ didn't…" she shrugged. "I don't think he really mean it. Just…said it in the heat of the moment, I guess," she laughed nervously.

Jack looked at her, shielding the pain in his eyes. "I don't think so," he smiled.

Kate grinned. "You think he meant it? You think _Sawyer_ meant it?"

Jack laughed. "Hey, anything's possible right?"

She nodded, her smile fading. "Right," she said sadly.

He stared with pleading eyes. "How _are_ you?"

"I'm fine, Jack," she said with a nervous laugh.

"Kate…no one is fine after that."

"After what?"

"I don't know. Almost dying?"

"I don't know why everyone keeps making such a big deal about this. I'm still here!"

"But you almost weren't," he took her hand. "We were all worried – "

"I wish everyone would just stop!" she said, her voice wavering.

"Fine." He stood. "I'm going to go back to Allison now, then – "

"Jack…"

"Good to see you alive, Kate."

"So that's it? You're just going to leave?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "I am."

"What do you want me to do?!" she argued. "Fall to pieces in your arms and tell you how terrible it was?"

"Some emotion would be nice. Would be _real_ – "

"I'm fine!"

"If you say so." He sighed. After a long pause, he finally stood and said, "I'm going to get back to Ally."

She gazed at him sadly as he walked toward the door. As he reached for the doorknob, she sighed and stopped him.

"I'm not okay," she finally admitted. And with that came the realization to herself. She really _wasn't_ okay, as much as she tried to force herself to be.

Jack stopped, and stared at her.

"I'm not okay…" she repeated, the words feeling realer. "I'm not okay. I'm not…"

He went back to her side and held her. She kept repeating the same line over and over until she finally was reduced to tears…


	64. Chapter 64

**Chapter 64**

"What do you mean _visitors_?" Sawyer repeated.

Dr. Park took a look at her clipboard. "A Doctor…Shephard."

He exhaled through his nose, gritting his teeth. Of _course_ Jack was here. How could he not be? Which meant, obviously, it _was_ Allison he saw sitting in the waiting room. Fan – freaking – tastic.

"Stay with my daughter," he said in a low voice.

"James," Dr. Park turned quickly. "You're not permitted to see her yet."

"I ain't goin' to see her. I'm goin' to see him," he retorted, and walked out the door.

Dr. Park sighed, accepting the defeat. She turned back to face Clementine and they stared awkwardly at each other.

* * *

Kate and Jack were quiet, Kate in his arms. Her crying had finally died down, but she wouldn't say anything. Jack wanted to speak but he couldn't find words. At least, none that would sound right. She finally shifted and sat up straighter, facing him but still not bringing her eyes to his.

"I almost wanted it to happen," she confessed quietly.

He cocked his head, confused. "You wanted to die?"

She nodded hesitantly. "I started to think…what am I going to do with a baby? How would I know how to take care of it?" She finally looked up at him. "I got scared."

"Leaving him alone wouldn't be a good start."

She frowned, wondering whether he met Mason or Sawyer. "I know."

"Kate, listen to me," he put his hands on her arms. "Just because you're scared doesn't mean you're should give up. Everyone gets scared."

"What if he doesn't like me?" she said, tears welling again.

"Why wouldn't he like you?" he smiled.

She forced a weak smile. "All this time I've had to think about what just happened…and all I can think about was what I almost left behind…"

He nodded. "A lot of people would be affected." He smiled sheepishly. "Myself included."

She smiled, a genuine one this time. "It's nice to be loved."

He laughed. "Yeah," he looked at the door. "Yeah it is."

She sighed. "What am I going to do with him?"

"Talk to him," he said. Kate raised her eyebrows, then quickly realized that Jack had mistaken who she was referring to. "He said what he did for a reason."

"How can you be so sure?"

Before he could answer, the door opened. Sawyer slowly walked in and stopped upon seeing Jack. Jack quickly let go of Kate and sat up while Kate wiped her eyes. Sawyer glanced back and forth between the two of them.

"Doc," he nodded.

"Hey Sawyer." After a long awkward silence, he said, "I should get going."

Sawyer didn't say anything but finally sat down in the window seat. Jack stood but leaned back over Kate to say 'goodbye'.

"Take care of yourself," he whispered and kissed her on the cheek. He turned to Sawyer once he reached the door. "Good to see you, Sawyer."

Sawyer raised his eyebrows. "You too, Jack."

This time Kate raised her eyebrows. Was this a new Sawyer? Another long silence filled the room. She stared down at her blanket, searching her mind for what to say. But Sawyer spoke before her.

"Nice of him to stop by," he said, staring out the window.

She could tell just by the repressed sound in his voice that it took a lot for him to say that and she appreciated it. She wanted to say something, but again, she couldn't find the words. Sawyer finally lifted his head and looked at her.

"How you doin' Freckles?"

She thought for a moment. "I'm okay," she finally decided.

"Just okay?" he turned sideways in the chair to face her.

"A lot better now that you're here," she smiled.

He dimpled and was now the one at a loss for words. Maybe he finally _was_ getting over the whole Jack thing.

"How's Mason doing?"

"All right I guess," he said, getting up. He walked over and sat on the bed beside her, and put on a concerned expression. "But there is one thing."

Her face fell instantly. "What's wrong?"

He looked down for a moment, the concern never leaving his face. Kate felt a slight twinge of panic.

"His last name's Ford," he finally looked up at her.

She laughed, relieved. "I'll have to ask the nurses about that mix up."

"The hell you will," he grinned.

"He's good though?"

"Yeah. He's good. Small, but good. Clemmy's there with him now. I gotta tell ya," he leaned forward, "she's a little disappointed you didn't give her a sister."

"Maybe next time," she teased.

Sawyer stared at her stunned, for a moment, before he realized she was joking. Or was she? He didn't want to contemplate that right now.

As her smile faltered, Kate tried to find a way to ask what she wanted to ask next. But she didn't know if there was even a right way of going about it. So she just decided to say it.

"I…need to know if you meant it," she said quietly. But she knew he heard her.

He sighed. He didn't want to contemplate _that_ right now either.

"What does it matter if I meant it or not?"

She looked down, nodding. That was all the answer she needed. "Okay."

_Okay_? he thought. That was a little _too _easy. Now he was the one who needed to know.

"I mean…did you really…Is that really what you want?"

She shrugged. "I don't know."

"Look, if that's what you want, then I'll do it. We'll get rings and the big white dress and the likes," he said, even though each of those ideas made his stomach twist inside.

"I don't want you to do it because I do. I want _you_ to want to."

"I mean I thought we talked about this already?" he frowned. "Months ago! Now all of a sudden you're goin' and changin' your mind?"

She looked down, trying to hide her sudden tears but did a poor job of it. Sawyer cocked his head, confused.

"What?"

Before she could say anything the door opened. Sawyer and Kate both looked over.

"See? She's awake," said Clementine.

Standing with her was her mother Cassidy. She wore a small, nervous smile.

"I don't mean to interrupt. I mean, I hope I'm _not – _"

Kate and Sawyer answered simultaneously,

"It's fine."

"You are."

They shared a quick glance. Kate looked down to wipe her eyes and Sawyer spoke.

"Can we have a minute Cass?"

"Sure," she nodded.

"Why do we have to leave?" Clementine echoed as they walked back into the hallway.

They walked out of the room and closed the door behind them. Sawyer turned back to Kate, his eyes full of concern.

"What's wrong, Freckles?"

She frowned. "I almost lost you," she whispered.

"_You_ almost lost _me?_" he smirked.

She tried to smile but it was a weak one. "I can't stop thinking about what might have happened. You…and Mason. I don't ever want to lose you," she gazed at him, her eyes brimming with tears. "Either of you."

His mouth curved upward slightly. "Ain't no chance in hell."

"I just thought maybe…if we were married…" She half-laughed, half-sobbed. "Was that stupid of me?"

He grinned. "Nah. But we ain't gotta tie the knot to stay together. You got me, and I got you. And that's just how it is. No ring or _priest_ has to make sure."

She wiped her eyes. "I just thought after you said it…it was what you wanted."

"Freckles, you and I both know that neither of us really wants that," he smiled.

She only smiled slightly. "Then why _did_ you say it?"

He looked down sighing. "I guess…I just thought that was what you're _supposed_ to do. Have a kid…get married."

She laughed. "I always thought it was the other way around."

"Yeah, well," he smiled sheepishly.

After a moment, she asked "You have any idea what we're getting ourselves into?"

"Not a clue," he grinned.

"Me either," she grinned too.

"We oughta write a book."

She chuckled. "How NOT to Raise Your Kid?"

"I was thinkin' more along the lines of How to Raise Your Kid a Con," he teased.

"Some things never change," she laughed.


	65. Chapter 65

**Chapter 65**

After a little while of talking and teasing, and discussing what would happen when Mason was brought home, the door opened to interrupt them. Dr. Park walked slowly in, cradling a blanket that was Mason in her arms.

"I think it's time he met his mom," she smiled.

Kate took a deep breath, her heart practically leaping out of her chest. This was the defining moment - or at least one of them. She sat up straighter, trying to steady her pulse. As she laid her arms out, Dr. Park lowered Mason into them. Kate held him gently, staring down at his blue green eyes – Sawyer's eyes. A few small brown curls covered his head. There was no sign of freckles, but she knew he would get them. For the first time, as she held her son in her arms, Kate wasn't afraid.

Sawyer leaned closer and slid his finger under Mason's tiny ones. When he looked up at Kate, he saw tears rolling slowly down her smiling face. She was staring at him in wonderment. And it wasn't a surprise. He was a good looking baby, Sawyer thought. He leaned back again and looked at the bigger picture of Kate holding their baby.

"Well how 'bout that," he said to himself.

"Congratulations," Dr. Park said softly, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Though he would normally have found a way to shrug her off his shoulder with a snide comment, he was too intently focused on Kate. She couldn't stop watching Mason. And while he knew it was just because he was their little miracle, Sawyer realized that Kate was letting go of her fear and embracing their future. And that was a miracle in itself.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Within the next few days at the hospital, several friends – and foes – stopped by to see Kate and the baby. And Sawyer.

Charlie and Claire flew there with Aaron, bringing a few hand-me-downs with them. They stayed for two days, driving Sawyer up the wall, but helped out in their own way, especially with the hand-me-downs. Kate and Sawyer hadn't really thought of stocking up on the necessities.

Jack and Allison were back and forth every few days for the week Kate was there. Allison crooned over how "adorable" Mason was and made subtle hints to Jack. Sawyer made sure to be in the room at those times. He always spitefully enjoyed their visits.

Cassie stopped by once or twice to see Mason and give her congratulations. She always brought a cooked meal from the diner for Kate, claiming that "hospital food ain't nothin to live off of!"

Cassidy and Clementine were the only other visitors. They were the quietest visitors, even despite Clementine. She would tell Mason stories promising to teach him everything she knew. Cassidy stood awkwardly, watching, not exactly sure what to say. Until one day – the last day Kate and Mason would stay at the hospital, and the last day Clementine would be there – Cassidy asked to speak to Sawyer outside of the room. As he closed the door behind them, she exhaled.

"He's a beautiful baby," she started.

"Thanks," Sawyer said after a pause.

"Look, I just…I want to thank you. For lettin' Clemmy into your life."

He raised his eyebrows. "Sure."

"It means a lot."

Sawyer leaned back against the wall. "She's my kid."

Cassidy nodded. "Our kid." Before he could speak, she continued. "I'm not askin' for nothin'. Just sayin'." After a pause, she said, "Just promise me you won't hurt her?"

"Excuse me?"

"I don't…I don't want her to know what happened between us. And…I don't want to see you walk away from her again."

"Am I walkin' away right now?"

"No," she said after a long silence. "You're not."

"And I'm not gonna," he turned back facing the door and turned the doorknob.

"If you do, don't expect to come back."

"Thanks, Dimples," he grinned coldly, walking back into the room.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Later that evening, Kate and Mason were both released. Gravel crunched under the tires as Sawyer pulled the truck up to the house. Kate looked back and saw Mason start to wake up. When they got out, Kate lifted him into her arms, ready to take him to first set his eyes on their home.

"Ready to see home, Big Guy?" Sawyer said to him.

Kate smiled. "Here we go," she said softly as they walked in the door.

The house was cleaner than Kate had seen it before. Her eyes widened almost as much as Mason's as they looked around.

"When did you find the time to do this?" she asked Sawyer.

"Durin' the non-visiting hours," he smirked.

"You sure you didn't just hire a maid?" she teased.

"Yeah. And I paid her in all kinds a ways."

"Not funny," she glanced sideways at him.

He chuckled as Kate rounded the couch toward the stairs.

"Where you goin?"

"I think he's still tired," she explained. "I'm gonna feed him and put him down to sleep."

Sawyer nodded and watched them disappear. He looked around then sat on the couch, sighing. It was good to be home…

As he reached for the remote for the TV, he heard Kate's voice speaking to Mason as she set him down to sleep. She was reading none other than "The Three Little Pigs" to him. Sawyer smiled despite himself, and decided then and there that he would later on burn that book. Memories of Aaron flooded back, and with that, came an entire recollection of his life since Kate.

Without intending it, she had changed his life completely. He went from the closed off, badass, confidence man to a slightly more vulnerable, and slightly less badass man with confidence. She had brought him back to life without even realizing it. When he was on that island, his life was nothing and he wanted nothing more than to kill or be killed. Then she found his letter, called his bluff, and for the first time, he had found a woman with a refreshing attitude and ironically similar past. And she found the James inside his Sawyer.

His thoughts were instantly interrupted by the footsteps down the stairs. She let out a sigh of relief and sat beside him. Almost as a reflex, he put his arm around her and she nestled in.

"He good?" he asked.

"He's good," she nodded. "What about you?"

"Better than ever, Freckles," he dimpled.

"Yeah? What were you doin' down here all that time?"

He shook his head. "Just thinking."

He got quiet again, and she wondered what he had been thinking about. About Mason? Maybe he was wondering about what to do with Mason. She was sure he'd be fine. He would probably be a better father than he thought. After all, he had done pretty well dealing with everything _she_ had put him through. And she put him through a lot. He had put up with everything on the island AND with her antics with Jack. He had somehow forgiven her for everything with Damien, being a better man than she could ever imagine. And then there were her mood swings and the entire pregnancy. She was never ungrateful for anything he had done or dealt with. And she always let him know how much she appreciated him and loved him, in her own way.

Somehow, even though there was a great deal of tension and disdain between them at the start, they had created a relationship – no – a _love_ that could survive anything. What with their criminal backgrounds and insecurities life was always hectic and dramatic. But that was how they worked best. He did his part, she did hers. They got through it all together. She loved him. And he loved her. She smiled and finished Sawyer's line: And _that_ was that.

When she looked up at Sawyer again, he seemed to have been deep in thought as well. He looked down at her and before she could say anything, he leaned down, cupped her face, and kissed her, gently and lovingly.

"What was that for?" she asked when he broke away.

He didn't answer, just dimpled and gazed into her eyes. And again, he kissed her. This time, _she_ broke away, but with a smile.

"You know what happens when we do this."

"I was bettin' on it," he smirked, and they lowered into the couch.

It truly was an adventure with all the twists and turns, and the roller coaster ride through the many obstacles thrown their way. But it had been an adventure from the very beginning when they first met on the island. Back when Jack was a threat and island monsters were on the hunt. Fast forward to when all hope of getting back to each other seemed lost and when Ally suddenly appeared on the doorstep. And now? Well, now the adventure would only continue with Mason.

Would they truly live "happily ever after"? Who cared.

**THE END **

(Yes, for real this time.)


	66. Wait Chapter 66?

**I JUST WANTED TO SAY...**

Hello!

...to any readers that may still have this story on alert. If I'm lucky, there are still some of you dedicated ones who do and you get to read this message. I realize it has been FOUR years since this story has been completed. And while I have still kept to writing in my life, I haven't been writing as much as I used to. Not nearly as much as when I was working on these stories. It took me four years to realize that this saga, these four installments of a Skate story that began as a one-shot, became my baby. It is the only thing ever that I finished. And that is not an exaggeration.

In regards to my story writing, I can't seem to finish a thing but these stories I finished. So I started to try to refresh my passion for writing. I began to read a book about opening and releasing the writer within and how to not hold back and write more freely. Because in this day and age, being judgmental is a disease. And it's worse when you judge yourself more harshly. Of this, I am guilty.

Something that I've come to realize as of late is that I think I have lost touch with my passion. My passion for writing is what healed me and kept me sane. The last time I was so low in life, I came through it because I was always writing. (Writing these stories!) I wrote every single day – again, no exaggerations. Every. Single. Day. I never stopped to think whether or not it was bad. I never gave up on it. I kept going through. I would spend hours in my room working away, escaping everything. I was happy because I was doing what I loved and no one could take it from me. I was a writer. This was how I coped, how I fixed what was happening. All of my emotions would go into the stories I wrote, whether I realized it or not. It was my emotional release that kept my mind balanced just enough. I suppose that's why it got more angsty and dramatic at times rather than others.

Anyway, the point of all of this rambling is to say that I'm working on something. I started to reread these stories from a previous era of my life and I started to forget that I actually wrote it because I couldn't stop reading it. I guess I became one of you – one of the reviewers/readers. It was pretty awesome to read something that _I _wrote that way. Sort of built my confidence up again into realizing, hey! I'm not half bad at this. And also into realizing, hey! This isn't done yet. :)

So far, I've written a first chapter that is more of just a...preface or an introduction of sorts...to a new story. Yes, it is Sawyer and Kate. Yes, it takes place after "Baby Steps". Yes, I contradicted myself and began writing a sequel when I said I wouldn't, four years later. Yes, it is coming soon! Not to a theater near you! Haha.

Right now, a working title for it is "For Better or Worse" (although I have been toying with "After Shocks" as a title too). No, I won't go back on what I said a long time ago about Sawyer and Kate getting married. And I think that's all I'll say about the premise of the story. You'll just have to read it to see. While it is coming soon, I still have to write it so bear with me. I hope to get it started and running before Summer starts. Anddddd I HOPE to see some familiar faces resurface and if not, some new ones, or both. Or none. This is for you guys, but it's also for me.

Obviously four years has changed who I am a bit, and of course it's dramatically affected my skills in writing. I'm hoping that maybe this next one will be better, even the best of the lot. But that's where you'll have to come in. Once it's posted. :)


End file.
